Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Unfortunate experiments in rap-metal

I have very eclectic tastes. As I have said before, I'll listen to anything from RDP to DBC. But I have to draw the line somewhere, and that line begins with rap metal. The title of this post may be misleading because it implies that there are fortunate experiments in rap metal, which is not the case. The following are some of the most atrocious examples, but please add your own in the comments.

Anthrax- I'm The Man
Anthrax was a great band from 1985-1989 or so, but this was definitely not their finest moment. This is basically the thrash metal equivalent of the Tracy Jordan film "Honky Grandma Be Trippin'" in which an elderly white woman says things like "Word to your mother!" "Bring The Noize" (or whatever "urban" spelling they use) was better because it had a great riff and Public Enemy, but still pretty bad.

Soulfly- Entire catalog
Well I don't think I need to say much more about this one. But the thing about this band that is really irritating is how the guitarist wears a backpack (with no shirt) on stage. Maybe he is storing supplies in it, such as extra Brazilian flag patches, I don't know. But it needs to stop.

Suicidal Tendencies- everything with Robert Trujillo
We have already discussed his irritating, crab-walking antics with Metallica, but of course it all started with Suicidal Tendencies. To be entirely correct, I guess this falls more into the specific domain of funk-metal more than rap-metal, but it's close enough for our purposes. They used to be a great hardcore band, then a great thrash metal band, then they added slap bass and Mike Muir's incoherent bizarre mumblings about Charles Manson and Froot Loops, and the next thing you know they are announcing a new side project called Infectious Grooves. Oh my.

Atheist- "Earth" from Elements
Atheist was a great band that introduced jazz influences to the world of thrash metal (and brought us Tony Choy!), but they sometimes extended themselves a bit too far. For example, the breakdown in "Earth" on their final LP "Elements" in which Kelly Schaefer does an awkward Chuck Schuldiner-meets-Chuck D thing over a very cheap 808 beat. I know they were from South Florida, but they should have left the 808 to the likes of Def Bass Crew.

We've already covered this band extensively, but if we didn't mention Mordred in a post about unfortunate experiments in rap-metal, we just wouldn't be doing our job.

Fieldy's Dreams
This was Fieldy from Korn's rap side project. It's great! If you didn't get enough of his bass hanging around his ankles in Korn, you will surely get your fill from songs like this one.

This is actually not an unfortunate experiment at all, because Crazytown is one of my favorite bands. At first I just started listening to them for a joke, because I saw the video for "Butterfly" and I was like "This guy is the biggest blowjob on the face of the planet!" and I downloaded their album. But then it grew on me, and now I am totally into Crazytown, 100% non-ironically! I even got Shifty Shellshock's solo album (thoughtfully titled simply "Shifty") on half.com for 74 cents. An interesting piece of trivia is that the drummer for Crazytown previously played in Chuck Mangione's band! If you want more trivia about CxT, head over to Crazytown.info (the largest un-official source of CxT information on the entire interweb) and read up!


  1. oh my god...the athiest breakdown! for those who want to listen to it really quickly, its 1:44 into the song. holy jesus.

    regarding "i'm the man", how rad would it be to have that actual backdrop used for the cover just chillin' in your house. oh man..i'd put it over my fireplace. amazing conversation piece.

  2. man, i love "rap metal". i'm all over bionic jive, boxcutter, ETC... give me a mere rap pattern, i'll eat that up too. and i'm also non-ironic in liking crazytown (though "butterfly" makes me retch). i like some of POD's shit too. can't explain it and won't defend it, though.

    plus, mr. trujillo notwithstanding, ST started to really suck only after "suicidal for life". and infectious grooves "pwn", but only in the summer.

  3. Machine Head pretty much fucked it on most of The Burning Red and Supercharger. Quite how they managed to turn their live warm-up riff (which was pretty fucking excellent) into the pretty piss-poor opener on TBR is beyond me. Maybe you can't class as full on rap metal, but it ruined a good band.

    There is some (ie very little)good rap metal though eg Dub War

  4. i think you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone in the planet who hates this shit more than me.
    i think you forgot that band that did the 'smooth criminal' cover. they also did 'bring the noise' what was their name?

    anyway, i actually liked anthrax's version, but i was looking at the cover just the other day and WOW! it's so insulting of early hip-hop culture! i love true old school NY hip-hop and that cover just makes a mockery of the whole thing. plus it has HORRIBLE graffiti as a background. i wonder if they let danny do it and since he's got the crazy wondering eye, he thought he was doing a really good job!

    crazy town i only know cuz the singer was in 'celebrity rehab'. he seemed like a cool enough dude, but im sure id hate his band.

    this whole post bums me out. seriously, im gonna pretend it never happened and listen to manowar for the rest of the day, my office mates are gonna hate me!


  5. You forgot about Faith No More, 24-7 Spyz, Limp Bizkit, Ignorance (the British Mordred), Phunk Junkees and Scatterbrain. I think I did as well until you dicks made me think about this topic. Sarsipuis fo' lyfe, homies!! wikka-wikka-wikka

  6. 1. "I'm the Man" is not a great song, but that EP is decent simply because the "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" cover is fucking spectacular (seriously).

    2. "Lights, Camera, Revolution" is fucking awesome. "Send Me Your Money" is the only weak track. Everything else is total fucking gold.

    I agree with Chris, it wasn't until "Suicidal for Life" that ST really, truly started losing it. E.Town is the shit as well. And I too can tolerate some of P.O.D.'s older stuff, despite the stupid Jesus lyrics.

    And the band that covered "Smooth Criminal" is Alien Ant Farm. Retarded, absolutely fucking dumb band name, but they are an incredible band. Not really "rap metal" in any way, shape, or form. I actually fucking love that band, I don't even give a shit. I'm embarrassed that I like some of P.O.D.'s stuff, but I have no regrets whatsoever about digging Alien Ant Farm (other than their band name).

  7. 1. Alien Ant Farm were sweet, great drummer.

    2. POD are also sweet

    3. we didn't forget scatterbrain, click here

    4. i also love Downset, although they weren't really rap-metal so much

    5. my favorite Crazytown song is "Darkside"

  8. "I have very eclectic tastes. As I have said before, I'll listen to anything from RDP to DBC". Ha ha, top comment!! So very limited range indeed ;-) Top man!

  9. My name is Speeg, and I am a poser, I unfortunately had the ca-single for "I'm the man". The only thing I can add is I did steal it from the local Caldor, and that is totally METAL!

  10. A friend of mine once bought the Crazytown CD, He still says that it's the worst CD he ever listened. I absolutely hate their look and their way of moving, they look like Italy's GEMELLI DIVERSI...

    Back to the topic: anyone ever listened to Neglect? Rap/Metal/Core with a great bass playing...

  11. Oh, yeah.....
    Rage Against The Machine - duh!


  13. ask gene hoglan's balls how much he loves E-Town

  14. i forgot to say how awesome i think it is that you brought up dead brain cells and ratos de porao. both are great bands and i havent thought about either is a long time.

  15. crap! one more thing: rock 'n' roll pneumoniaaaaaa!

  16. Biohazard they were a parody of themselves from the start.

    Belgian 90's metal band Channel Zero had a minor alternative radio hit with the song Run with the torch, check it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8wKfwk79VA Actually it's pretty ironic to dig that up with all the fuss going on about the Olympic Torch, because that's the one they're rapping about.

    I heard Opeth did a collaboration with 50Cent on their new album, I wonder...

  17. Rap metal at its "finest"...and horrid Anselmo-ish ranting & moving by Extrema's vocalist...


  18. suicidal started to suck on pretty much everything after the first album. rap metal's one of those genres that deserves to be forgotten. give me third rate black metal over any of this shit...

  19. 1. e-town concrete is one of my ALL TIME favorite bands. i own all their records and have been a huge fan since the first time i heard "4 the fame" on WSOU back in like '98. JERSEY'S HARDEST.

    2 re: biohazard, "urban discipline" still rules. everything else blows.

  20. How about rap death metal? The last song on Obituary's Back From the Dead? Worst. idea. ever.

  21. Anonymous Rating for this Post:
    *** (3 stars)

  22. you know why mr. gene hoglan's balls is a great guy? i once sat in his apartment for like two hours and he played nothing but etown concrete for me the whole time. i got to like it, even their cover of Jay-Z's Hard Knock LIfe. i do have to say, its a bit odd when the singer drops the n-bomb in a hip hop song though.... its like a record scratch goes off in my head...and not one that would be done by a sweet DJ like the guy from Mordred. something iffy about a white dude in adidas warm up pants dropping that word.

    Downset still rules. i first saw them at the milwakee metal fest in like 93 or so. i was psyched to see them live. i also like how their drummer would have his bass drum somewhere like ten feet away to his right and facing the side of the stage. what the hell?

  23. Stuck Mojo was retarded.Shootyz Groove was goofy. Infectious Grooves was lame. The only rap/metal band I could get into was Candiria and they only had a few songs that could qaulify as rap metal.

  24. Even worse than 'I'm The Man" - the radio edit version feat. those really gay sound effects.

    Mikey Muir sucks. Infectious Grooves was fucking terrible.

    Someone mentioned Scatterbrain, the most annoying band ever. Jesus was that shit horrible, cutesy & unfunny "humor" at it's worst. Not sure if they did any actual "rapping" though, whatever THAT is.

  25. In all seriousness......
    Thrash-funk or rap-metal or whatever you want to call it is still nowhere near as dumb as Cradle of Filth.

  26. - The Accused: Down & Out (Featuring the Mad Poet), made when they were signed to that rap label. Blaines trademark puke vocals really stand out when there are no loud guitars backing them up, especially when tries to lay down some rhymes with them. The song redeems itself when the rapper begins his guestvocals. It becomes just rap then.

    Lesson learned: rap + puke vocals = not good for anyone. Same can be said about the allready mentioned Obituary song.

  27. rickety old motherfucker on the rangeApril 16, 2008 at 4:50 AM

    Never noticed the Suicidal Tendencies logo on the "I'm the man" cover until now. WTF?

  28. Nuclear AbominationsApril 16, 2008 at 9:14 AM

    I am extremely pissed off that you completely omitted the best of them all: Bulldozer's "Dance Got Sick - Trilogy"!!!

  29. While most of the band looks rather dignified on the cover, I can't figure out what the fuck Danny Spitz is going for. Jerry Stiller?

  30. Has anybody heard of Clawfinger? They're pretty horrible as wel, they have a song called Nigger in which they criticise black american ghetto culture. Not bad for a bunch of white-ass Swedes. They're still around but nobody really cares.
    As a matter of fact there's also a sub-subgenre called Ragga-metal. There are only two bands worldwide performing this particular schtick, but they rock. Dubwar, from the nineties were awesome and recently Skindred who have Dubwar's singer.

  31. My iTunes shuffle play just reminded me:

    "Judgment Night" soundtrack.

    (Admittedly some of that stuff is solid, but other portions... utterly unlistenable.)


    helmet/house of pain
    slayer/ice t
    biohazard and ONYX

    oh my god. i had forgotten about this. i wonder if someone at the record label had their doubts about the living colour run DMC track for not being more obviously racially diverse.

    same milwakee metal fest that i first saw downset also had Shootyz Groove. Ugh. Dogstar, Keaneu Reave's band also played. the night didn't get good until later. suffocation, morbid angel etc.

  33. "another body murdered" and "the missing link" are great songs, you fuckers! old stuck mojo had some killer stuff too ("mental meltdown"?). and the last downset is rap as fuck, but still rocks. "do we speak..." also had some nice tunes on it.

    another band popped in my head - bolt action. an unlikely mix of metal, oi!, and some straight-up rap patterns. but it works.

    in fact, this thread is turning out to be pretty fortunate.

  34. the judgment night soundtrack was sweet. i loooooove the helmet/house of pain song.

  35. I don't think anyone posted "The Lone Rager" on Megaforce records 1985 ... maybe the first matalrap?
    remember this?...