Upside down Cross Mania

Back in 1993 I played guitar and sang for a super shitty joke Noise/Black Metal "band" called Satan's Charcoaled Nipples. Don't bother Googling it, we only had one demo and I'd surprised if we distributed 10 copies. I wish I still had one. Anyway, the name of the demo was "Upside Down Cross Mania." The cover was a pentagram with goat horns (of course) and I put as many upside down crosses as I could fit. Counting the ones in the band logo (which had at least eight) I'd say there were probably 30 crosses. I was very proud of myself. Shit, I still am. I really appreciate a logo with a good number of upside down crosses. How many can they get in there? One or two is way too easy. Unleashed, Mayhem, Death, Possessed, Morbid Angel... these guys are amateurs. Three and above; now, that's serious business. Starting with Sarcofago (above), let's look at some other (mostly Black Metal) logos and their use of the upside down cross.

The Greatest Piece of Heavy Metal Art Ever Created

In case you're a moron, or just brain dead, this is the original.




Remember that part in Some Kind of Monster where Lars talks about his art collection and how he's considering selling some of his paintings, which just happen to be Basquiats worth about a million a piece? Well, now I know what it feels like to own a priceless and unique work of art!

This piece was obtained from a private collector that shall remain nameless, but I can disclose that the transaction took place several years ago in the parking lot of MetLife Stadium during a flea market which in retrospect is about the most perfect way for such a transaction to take place.

Just look at that brushwork! The colors! The tones! And that little bonus band portrait in the top corner! Very little is known about the artist, the enigmatic David Rosengart. In fact, I know nothing about him. I like to imagine he's some long-haired CHUD savant that painted this in the basement of his parent's suburban New Jersey home and traded it for a Necrovore demo and a six-pack of Busch. Sadly, the world may never know.

And don't even ask if I'm in interested in selling--there's not enough money in the world!