Showing posts with label jpdm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jpdm. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Breaking through the myths: The facts about wigger slam

As I am prone to do every so often, I googled for "wigger slam" this afternoon. I was thrilled to see quite a few results, but it was clear that many people don't understand the genre

Please begin by reading my post from back in March, "Everything You Need To Know About Wigger Slam." Many people missed it because we didn't have as many readers then, but it's still a good place to start! Then, read all our other posts on wigger slam.

We ain't playing, son.
Apparently some people think that I am being ironic when I sing the praises of wigger slam. From Metal Sucks:
Reading all those Wigger Slam posts at Metal Inquisition usually makes me piss myself with laughter. I actually cannot tell if the posts are meant to be sarcastic, or if they really do like that music.
First of all, you must know that I am not joking even a teeny tiny bit about how much I love slam metal, especially wigger slam, and especially Japanese wigger slam. This shit is in my blood. While I'm at work, where I do things like market research for Pampers, Swiffer, and Febreze, I'm jamming Infernal Revulsion. When I'm at the gym, blasting my quads, you better fucking believe I've got Gorevent on my pink iPod Nano. I could go on forever. The point is that you are a poser that only thinks about wigger slam when you read Metal Inquisition, it's just a novelty to you. Wigger slam is a WAY OF LIFE for me.



Wigger slam is NOT deathcore
The next thing you need to understand is that these two genres are not the same thing, or even slightly related. For example, in the above Metal Sucks post, you can see that many people are confused (although some people in the comments do get it):
I can’t say as I get what all the hubbub is about — to these ears, wigger slam is basically just another, less cringe-inducing name for a genre we’ve all grown to hate — deathcore — with an occasional nu-metal influence — as if this is supposed to be a good thing.
To be fair, I can understand the confusion. Wait, actually I can't, they are completely different and I have no idea how they could get mixed up. I will be very explicit here so that there is no more room for stupidity:


People in deathcore bands look like this gaylord. If you photographed someone that was standing in the center of a Hot Topic when a bomb went off, it would look like the image above.

Deathcore = "Scene kids" playing shitty metalcore with blast beats and weak death metal-influenced breakdowns that aren't even good enough to be out-takes from a Green Rage or Extinction (click the link for funny pictures of Pete Wentz with dreads when he played in this horrible band) 7". Examples: Job For A Cowboy, Despised Icon, other wretched garbage they play on Headbanger's Ball all the time. Often they will mix in gay shit like singing or high-pitched screams in with their weak imitation of death metal vocals. They do not generally do guttural cricket vocals.

People in wigger slam bands look like this. If you are thinking that they look like the guy that comes to fix your air conditioning unit at work, it's because they probably are that guy.

Wigger slam = White trash dudes without two brain cells to rub together playing awesome, brutal death metal that is one Devourment-inspired slam riff after the next. The difference is that they often incorporate hip-hop references in their lyrics and the way they dress. This might seem strange, because we don't usually think of rap and brutal death metal as two things that go together. But it is actually very simple to explain: people who grow up as poor white trash (such as me) often listened to equal amounts of Eazy-E, Pantera, and Napalm Death. It is easy to see that combining those three is the formula for wigger slam. 

Wigger slam is also very popular with foreigners who don't understand how absurd it is to emulate this very American style. They have no idea how hilarious it is to see little Asian guys or dumb Swedes act like Long Island and Jersey shore trash. As Lucho Metales says, it's a little bit like watching Civil War reenactments. Although it's never not funny to watch their silly attempts at sounding tough, the Japanese are the masters of wigger slam.


(on another note, it's funny to see how upset the guy from Short Bus Pile Up is that I called his band wigger slam instead of just slam- and don't get wigger slam mixed up with cornfield slam!)



I hope that covers everything. In conclusion, please watch the above Devourment video. They aren't wigger slam, but as many readers already know, they are the pioneers of slam metal, and this video is a particularly good representation of them (featuring their original singer Wayne, who is now dead).



Also watch this Glossectomy video, particularly the very unusual dancing at around :33! I think it captures the silliness of Japanese wigger slam very well.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

In a summer, a young man's fancy turns to wigger slam

With more and more wigger slam bands cropping up every day, it can be hard to keep up. That's what I am here for: to make sure that no guttural slamming brutality slips through the cracks for our readers! Our data indicates that most Metal Inquisition readers are primarily into dinosaur metal, so I know that most of you hate this stuff, but you should challenge yourself to man up and join the guttural slamming brutality crew!

If you don't feel you are ready for being a slam metal fan, you should stop reading immediately. Instead, pick up the Relapse catalog, put on some Mastodon or Braindrill, and enjoy the safety of fossil metal.

Cephalotripsy
http://www.myspace.com/cephalotripsy
Let's begin with what I feel is probably the best slam metal band in the history of guttural slamming brutality. I know that's a pretty bold statement, but after you give them a listen I think you will agree. Cephalotripsy is the best of Internal Bleeding combined with the crushing pit riffment necrotic embludgeonmenting of Devourment. Put this record on and you will be slamming around your room before you know it.

Gorevent
http://www.myspace.com/gorevent
I am not sure how to say the name of this band, but they are a great Japanese wigger slam band featuring ex-Rest In Gore members with some hot chick playing bass. They basically sound exactly like Rest In Gore, which is a really good thing. Just from this photo you can tell they will be sweet because it's a bunch of normal looking Japanese dudes wearing illegible death metal shirts, camo shorts and baseball hats. But getting back to the chick, look how good her hair is. I'm jealous of Asians because they have such naturally shiny, dark, straight hair, and it's so easy for them to have cool, piecey ends.


NJDOTS
http://www.myspace.com/njdots
NJDOTS is basically what New Yorkment would be if they weren't a joke band. If you don't know about some dirty Jer-Z shit now, you will after jamming their demo. NJDOTS stands for "New Jersey Department of Transportation Suicide," after the way that people kill themselves by throwing themselves in front of NJ Transit trains. They don't have any hardcore influences, but I would like to think that Rick Ta Life and ANT$ would be down with them anyway. It's all Jer-Z.

Abort Mastication
http://www.myspace.com/abortmastication
Here is another Japanese band that describes themself as "Brutaldeathmetal Goregrind Moshgore Grindcore Chaotic." To me it sounds like brutal death metal with a generous helping of slams, but you can be the judge. Mostly I just love their Engrish.

Liturgy
http://www.myspace.com/liturgychicago
Now technically this might not be wigger slam, and it's definitely not new, but I just came across this band and wanted to share. I was a big Cinerary fan, and this band has 2 or 3 guys from Cinerary, so you pretty much know what to expect: brutal as fuck death metal in the California style with Disgorge's Matti Way on vocals. How could you go wrong?!


Rest In Gore
http://www.myspace.com/restingoreofficial
Along with Disconformity and Glossectomy, Rest In Gore are leading the pack in terms of Japanese wigger slam. I know it's incredibly trite for internet metal nerds to worship obscure Japanese sub-subgenres, but the truth is that the Japs just know how to fucking slam like nobody else. Anyway this band sounds like all the other JPDM bands that I like but there is something special about them. Much like the Toyota production system has perfected the delivery of an automobile at the greatest possible efficiency, Rest In Gore deliver the maximum possible slams per second with ruthless Japanese efficiency.


Condemned
http://www.myspace.com/condemnedmetal
This album came out last year and in my opinion was extremely underrated. It is 3/4 of Cephalotripsy, and basically sounds the same except that they play mostly blasts instead of slamz. So it really wouldn't fit into a purist's orthodox definition of slam metal, but I am willing to bend the rules for you, our readers. I thought this album was one of the finest death metal albums I've ever heard, it's just wall-to-wall brutality with absolutely no melody or compromises. Dinosaur metal fans will probably be put off because there aren't any parts where they play Iron Maiden harmonies and none of the songs are about being a fucking Viking or whatever bullshit you people are into, but if you want guttural slamming brutality, you came to the right band. For fans of Disgorge, Deeds of Flesh, and other brutal California death metal, but unlike a lot of those other bands it never gets boring because they don't play too many tremolo riffs.