Showing posts with label cornfield slam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cornfield slam. Show all posts

Monday, September 14, 2009

The beauty and innocence of youth: Memories of outdoor shows in the early 90s



Two weeks ago, this amazing picture of New Jersey's Revenant was posted here at Metal Inquisition. To say that I love this image would be a severe understatement. I mean, many have tried to encapsulate the youthful abandon that permeated early 90s death metal, but few images have done it as succinctly as this picture. What, I ask you, is more metal than playing the Fourth Of July picnic at your apartment complex? The varying heights of their hi-tops, the varying shortnesses of their shorts, the varying degrees of shirtlessness upon their chests. If you were there during those years, you understand why this image is so great. This is what it was like back in the early 90s, and if you missed it...you missed it. Death metal was new, china cymbals were huge, and Morrisound Studios reigned supreme.



A sweet outdoor show in Italy, with an audience made up of no one...because the picture was taken with a tripod and a timer. This picture, by the way, officially started the musical genre known as "small amp metal". In short, this musical style can only be played with small practice amps, and is at its best when the stage the band is playing in is at least twice the height of the tallest amp.




Memories:

During my reign as drummer of a handful of so-so bands in the early 90's, I played a few outdoor shows...just like the one pictured above. The band I played the most with was more of a grindcore band, but our shows were almost exclusively with death and speed metal bands. As a drummer, these shows were particularly frustrating, since grass is pretty much the worst surface on which your drumset can sit as you attempt to rip a brutal blast beat. As my drumset rocked back and forth, the cymbal stands dug into the soft grass, and you suddenly realized that you were engaged in battle with nature. Luckily, the bands I was in never attempted to seem evil, so when my cymbals toppled over onto the flower beds in front of the drumset, I probably looked less stupid than the death metal bands who would play after us. They, I have to tell you, looked seriously stupid. Have you ever seen a dude growl "Our next song is about a brutal serial killer...and its called..." into a mic, while standing on grass, at 2 in the afternoon, and a fly starts buzzing around his stinky hair? By comparison, we looked downright presentable and cool. Which reminds me, at one such show, a local band who we despised introduced one song by saying the following:

"This next song is about a cannibal who eats people"

Hmmm. As opposed to a cannibal who eats what? Tofu? By definition, a cannibal eats people, no? But anyway, I'm getting off track here.Out of the handful of outdoor shows (in reality, they were more like "backyard shows") that I played in during the early 90s, one surely sticks out in my mind above all others. Imagine, if you will, driving to a remote and rural location in the midwest...a town that was little more than a conglomeration of homes and had just recently gotten its very first stoplight. Then imagine a flatbed trailer, like from an 18-wheeler, with bands playing on top of it while it's parked in the middle of a depressing field. Billed as a "metal fest", the show was merely six bands and an audience of about 40 people. If you're a math genius like me, you can probably figure out that most of the audience was actually made up of the other bands. Depressing, I know.


Not happy with the fact that only horrible metal bands were getting to play outdoors, pseudo-prog bands have recently started to get in on the action. Here we see a prog band's singer and keyboard player praying that his parents don't come home early and yell at him for using all the extension cords.



It was one of the first shows that our band had played, so we set up a boombox in front of the stage to record our set. On the drive back home, I remember listening to the tape in my brother's car. Quickly we realized that two stoned Pantera fans had been standing by our beloved Panasonic boombox during the whole set, and endlessly did their horrible Bevis and Butthead impressions into it's tiny microphone. As a result, what we ended up with was a thirty minute tape of two rural jerkoffs with no teeth testing out their comedic chops onto our boombox. I remember what they looked like, slightly overweight and with nearly identical Vulgar Display Of Power shirts. The fact that they were only missing a few teeth, made them stand well above the rest of the audience, most of whom had even fewer teeth, and the few they had were dark brown. This, I would later learn, was partially as a result of drinking water pumped from wells, which lacks fluoride.


Outdoor shows in empty fields and backyards during the 90's would sometimes bring out bands who were barely metal at all. Like a community college who will let anyone in, backyard shows sometimes had bills with bands totaling well into the double digits. Inevitably, at least one band would feature a guy in a Dr Seus hat who was more than ready to use his wah-wah pedal for every song. Another interesting note about outdoor shows during that time: apparently no one was allowed to use anything other than small practice amps with 10" speakers.




You know how sometimes people talk about the "good old days"? When they do, all I can think about is that "fest". I remember standing in the hot sun for hours, playing on top of a trailer, watching fat dudes get drunk and turn their back on the makeshift stage as we played, so they could light off firecrackers in order to throw them in to the neighboring cornfield.

So why did I suddenly remember this less than memorable "fest"? Well, it's all because of the Revenant picture above, but also because of the videos below. The first video features an outdoor performance, but also the typical dude who is getting down, not realizing that he's really taking away from the "evil" atmosphere that the music is trying to convey. We had a few guys like this at our shows...one particularly memorable one was an elderly black man in a suit and tie who suddenly decided to take his tie off and wrap it around his head as he danced around like a six year old ballerina at a recital. His suggestive gyrating dancing is a sight I wont soon forget.

The second video reminds of this era because of the sheer number of bands that were this bad who I had the pleasure of sharing a bill with. Outdoor shows were particularly attractive to these types of bands. If at first you think they sound okay, keep watching...and wait until the singer starts. Thanks to the reader who sent this in.




This dude knows how to GET DOWN!




Although this show is taking place indoors, the musical quality is indicative of many small-amp/outdoor metal bands. Is this guy the greatest metal vocalist ever? Do you even have to ask? I'm glad that the drummer has headphones on, so he can play perfectly on time thanks to his click track.




A classic that we've posted before. Certainly worth checking out again.




Reader submission. Sometimes the show is not on stage at all...check out the dude dancing.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Wigger slam update, winter edition

There's a new dance craze that's sweeping the nation. It's called wigger slam and it's causing devastation!

It's been a while since we made a wigger slam post, which is a tragedy that makes Darfur look quaint by comparison. I would trade the lives of every single Romanian orphan for a single chance to play the Repudilation discography on my iPod while I'm in line at Starbucks. Seriously, fuck those kids, they're as good as dead anyway. In any case, there have been some exciting developments in the wigger slam scene that need to be mentioned.


Composted's SLAMBULANCE shirt
While it is disappointing to see that brutal death band Composted don't appreciate wigger slam like we do, we are still excited to see them raise awareness for the genre with the shirts you see below. The band is only mediocre (even to someone like me who has extremely low standards for slam metal- I mean I listen to fucking Artery Eruption!), but you might think about paying their MySpace a visit anyway. I'm sure it would make their day, since they probably spend all day bagging groceries or something to scrape together a pittance that pays the rent on the room they share with 8 other disgusting creeps at the local dirtbag metal flophouse. I'm sure glad I was never stupid enough to be in a band.


Entorturement vocalist drops some science
We have some insights on the origins of wigger slam from none other than the originators of the genre, Entorturement (and also the band who can legitimate claim to the worst name ever). He chimes in on the comments to an older post of ours, "The Facts About Wigger Slam":
LOL! This is Tim (former vocalist for entorturement). This is funny shit. Ok, yes Repudilation was the first to actually infuse a bit of Jazz into Death Metal. brian, their drummer, joined us and we wanted to do something different. So we went all out combining internal bleeding and suffocation with jazz,NYHC and Hip Hop. Growing up where we were you listened to Hip Hop. That was just how it was, mainly just NYC groups like Wu-Tang,Nas, Jay Z. It was like you are death metal (or deadhead,or jock) and you listened to hip hop. I am sorry for people taking it wayyyyyy out of hand. All the "thuggery" was taking the NYHC attitude at the time and multiplying 10 fold. In general, making fun of them.
Note that New Yorkment left them a nice comment on their Last.fm page:
OH FUKKKKKKKKK YEAH SON THESE BE THA SIKKKKKKKKEST SLAMZ EVAH!!! TOTAL BEATDOWN BRUTHAZ STYLE FO LYFE!!!
Amazon opens a wigger slam store
MI reader Matt Smith from Relapse tipped us off to Amazon's new wigger slam store. I'll be honest, the selection is a bit lacking (currently just a few Dying Fetus and Devourment shirts), but I'm happy to see that a big company like Amazon sees the potential for developing this market. I am sure that once they start producing Katalepsy and Abominable Putridity arctic camo parkas they'll have trouble keeping them in stock. MAKE IT RAIN!! I'm hoping they can hook up with Paul Wall and make some Soils of Fate grills. That shit would be HOT, and I'm sure all the European wiggers would eat it up. As anyone who ever sold anything metal-related in the 90s know, Europeans will buy anything!! I mean, without them, Joey DeMaio would have been out on the streets decades ago, picking cigarette butts out of the trash and selling Diet Mountain Dew cans for food.

See the store here!


Frogkill: World's first self-identified wigger slam band??

Perhaps I'm tooting our own horn here, but it seems that our influence has spread as far as Germany. We have been singing the praises of wigger slam for a while now, but it has so far been a externally-applied label. And to be honest, bands are generally not that stoked when we call them wigger slam (like these comments from that butthurt pussy in the Virginia-based wigger slam band Short Bus Pileup). A new one-man band named Frogkill is the first band we are aware of to call itself wigger slam, which is an amazing thing to behold! Congratulations, my friend! You are blazing new trails!We especially liked this statement on their MySpace:

And God said, "Let there be guttural slamming sickness!",
And there was guttural slamming sickness.
And God saw that it was good.

Now here comes the sad part. This poor kid is probably 19 or 20, and instead of sowing his wild oats banging hot German scene girls, he's spending his free time trying to impress internet metal nerds by making a one-man wigger slam band! Kid, you are going to look back on this part of your life and cry your eyes out at the way you pissed away the best years of your life. But congratulations on amusing a bunch of jaded metal dorks in their 30s at the expense of your youth!


Last.fm tags up 182%
Finally, thanks to everyone who has been dilligently using the wigger slam tag on Last.fm! If you haven't already, please tag all the relevant tracks you can. Fight the good fight! I'm not sure how Fall Silent got in there, but that's pretty funny.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Metal Inquisition e-Cards

I love e-cards! They're a great way to keep in touch with friends, family, and anyone else who you want to just say "What's up, I was thinking of you" to. The problem is that most of them are not very metal, so they're only good for sending to you poser friends. With that in mind, I put together a few in case you want to use them. Create your own here!





Tuesday, May 27, 2008

In a summer, a young man's fancy turns to wigger slam

With more and more wigger slam bands cropping up every day, it can be hard to keep up. That's what I am here for: to make sure that no guttural slamming brutality slips through the cracks for our readers! Our data indicates that most Metal Inquisition readers are primarily into dinosaur metal, so I know that most of you hate this stuff, but you should challenge yourself to man up and join the guttural slamming brutality crew!

If you don't feel you are ready for being a slam metal fan, you should stop reading immediately. Instead, pick up the Relapse catalog, put on some Mastodon or Braindrill, and enjoy the safety of fossil metal.

Cephalotripsy
http://www.myspace.com/cephalotripsy
Let's begin with what I feel is probably the best slam metal band in the history of guttural slamming brutality. I know that's a pretty bold statement, but after you give them a listen I think you will agree. Cephalotripsy is the best of Internal Bleeding combined with the crushing pit riffment necrotic embludgeonmenting of Devourment. Put this record on and you will be slamming around your room before you know it.

Gorevent
http://www.myspace.com/gorevent
I am not sure how to say the name of this band, but they are a great Japanese wigger slam band featuring ex-Rest In Gore members with some hot chick playing bass. They basically sound exactly like Rest In Gore, which is a really good thing. Just from this photo you can tell they will be sweet because it's a bunch of normal looking Japanese dudes wearing illegible death metal shirts, camo shorts and baseball hats. But getting back to the chick, look how good her hair is. I'm jealous of Asians because they have such naturally shiny, dark, straight hair, and it's so easy for them to have cool, piecey ends.


NJDOTS
http://www.myspace.com/njdots
NJDOTS is basically what New Yorkment would be if they weren't a joke band. If you don't know about some dirty Jer-Z shit now, you will after jamming their demo. NJDOTS stands for "New Jersey Department of Transportation Suicide," after the way that people kill themselves by throwing themselves in front of NJ Transit trains. They don't have any hardcore influences, but I would like to think that Rick Ta Life and ANT$ would be down with them anyway. It's all Jer-Z.

Abort Mastication
http://www.myspace.com/abortmastication
Here is another Japanese band that describes themself as "Brutaldeathmetal Goregrind Moshgore Grindcore Chaotic." To me it sounds like brutal death metal with a generous helping of slams, but you can be the judge. Mostly I just love their Engrish.

Liturgy
http://www.myspace.com/liturgychicago
Now technically this might not be wigger slam, and it's definitely not new, but I just came across this band and wanted to share. I was a big Cinerary fan, and this band has 2 or 3 guys from Cinerary, so you pretty much know what to expect: brutal as fuck death metal in the California style with Disgorge's Matti Way on vocals. How could you go wrong?!


Rest In Gore
http://www.myspace.com/restingoreofficial
Along with Disconformity and Glossectomy, Rest In Gore are leading the pack in terms of Japanese wigger slam. I know it's incredibly trite for internet metal nerds to worship obscure Japanese sub-subgenres, but the truth is that the Japs just know how to fucking slam like nobody else. Anyway this band sounds like all the other JPDM bands that I like but there is something special about them. Much like the Toyota production system has perfected the delivery of an automobile at the greatest possible efficiency, Rest In Gore deliver the maximum possible slams per second with ruthless Japanese efficiency.


Condemned
http://www.myspace.com/condemnedmetal
This album came out last year and in my opinion was extremely underrated. It is 3/4 of Cephalotripsy, and basically sounds the same except that they play mostly blasts instead of slamz. So it really wouldn't fit into a purist's orthodox definition of slam metal, but I am willing to bend the rules for you, our readers. I thought this album was one of the finest death metal albums I've ever heard, it's just wall-to-wall brutality with absolutely no melody or compromises. Dinosaur metal fans will probably be put off because there aren't any parts where they play Iron Maiden harmonies and none of the songs are about being a fucking Viking or whatever bullshit you people are into, but if you want guttural slamming brutality, you came to the right band. For fans of Disgorge, Deeds of Flesh, and other brutal California death metal, but unlike a lot of those other bands it never gets boring because they don't play too many tremolo riffs.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

NEW YORKMENT keep it fuckin slam


I have never been in a band, but if I was going to start one, it would be exactly like my new favorite up and coming wigger slam band, NEW YORKMENT. With song titles like "Pit Riffment," "Slam the Gorebong," and "Ingorging Ingorgity," I knew I would love them before I heard the first note. Thanks to Matt from NJ's finest, Kalopsia, for the tip!


Instead of trying to describe them myself, I will use the words of one of their fans instead:

"Yo fuck tha haters. NEW YORKMENT is da real deal. Serious broz, serious music. East Coast new wave of death slam in full effect. NEW YORKMENT, WITHOUT REMORSE, REVENANCE" - Chrissy Wormgutzz

Be sure to check them out on Myspace because I hear they are working on setting up some shows with a bunch of sick bands like Deregorged Necrogorger, Cumtopsy and Ungorge Ingorgity of Ingorgement (sorry, they're too underground for Myspace but I am sure you'll be hearing more about them soon!).

I also agree with their feelings on crappy old bands like Carcass, Repulsion and Iron Maiden. It is refreshing to hear someone tell it like it is. As far as I am concerned, Repulsion and Terrorizer are about as brutal as Fleetwood Mac or Wings, and if you think they are the pinnacle of death metal, you are probably old enough to get the AARP discount on the salad bar at Rax. I am much more interested in guttural slamming brutality like Cemetery Rapist, Malignant Rupture and NJDOTS and cutting edge labels like Fuck The Ass Records that are pushing the envelope with bands like New Yorkment. Crappy old school fossil rockers like Morbid Angel wouldn't know a gravity blast or bass drop if it slammed their ass across the pit.

NO PUSSY ASSED OLDSCHOOL BULLSHIT!! FUCK OLD METAL IRON MAIDEN N MOTERHEAD IS UNBRUTAL SHITTY DINOSAUR METAL!!!!!

If the words of their fans aren't enough to convince you, maybe this testimonial from legendary Japanese wigger slammers Vomit Remnants will persuade you:

""me likey likey. good slammin NYDM shit! i'm glad my boys in dying fetus told me to check this band out!" -Keisuke from Vomit Remnants

NECROTIC ENBLUGEONER, AND MORE PIT CRUSHING SLAMNESS!!!!!

Friday, April 4, 2008

Ask me about killing black metallers

When I lived in Cleveland in the late 90s, there was a crazy Russian kid that used to wear a black baseball hat that just said "DEATH METAL" on it in big white letters to all the shows. I think he had it made at the mall or something. I thought that was really cool, but one day he took it one step further and arrived at a Nunslaughter/Malignancy show wearing a shirt in the same style, only this time it said "ASK ME ABOUT KILLING BLACK METALLERS."


I'm not really sure what the point of this story was. In the same way that I admired the straightforward title of Dismember's 1999 album "Death Metal," I guess I just admired his commitment to death metal. Like him, I was angry and confused by black metal. I didn't know why anybody would rather listen to screeching banshees wailing about trolls and vikings over repetitive, trebly guitars when they could be jamming to Pyrexia or Baphomet. I still don't. Not when there are great bands out there like Cemetery Rapist.

Anyway, I don't know what happened to that guy, but if you know him, please tell him that I would like to ask him about killing black metallers.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Cemetery Rapist invents "cornfield slam"

We are probably all familiar with the term "wigger," and I will not invite controversy by explaining it here. But what you do not hear so much about is "wignecks," which as you might guess combine the best of wiggers and rednecks. For example they might drive a pickup truck, listen to T-Pain, and chew tobacco while wearing a Metallica shirt and Starter jacket. If you are not from the US, you are probably very confused right now. Don't feel bad, wignecks don't make sense to me either. But they're kind of like chavs, if that helps at all.



In any case, wignecks have largely been absent from the metal scene... until now. Cemetery Rapist is a one-man band that plays "cornfield slam metal", straight out of the fields of Illinois. They are the world's first wigneck slam band. They also operate "Fuck The Ass Records," a splendid record label that I am sure is rivaled only by the likes of Wild Rags in terms of both quality and selection.

With the advent of cornfield slam, I believe the world has officially invented every imaginable genre of music.

Lividity shirt = MENSA membership