Showing posts with label Wild Rags. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wild Rags. Show all posts

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Metal Archeology: Artifacts from a lifetime devoted to metal (Part 4)

Archeologists from UNC Chapel Hill uncover my oversized copy of Convicted. Thanks, dudes! I've been looking for that!

Yeah, I know it was my brother Lucho who started the Archeology posts (part1, part2, part3), but to be fair, most of the digs were done in OUR mom's basement, so in a way, they are my posts, too. Anyway, last time I was there I dug through old Metal Hammer magazines and Blue Grape backpatches to find a small box of tapes. Let me share some of my finds...



Ordered off some local rag in the late 80's in Toledo, Ohio, this was the very first demo tape we ever owned. Undertaker were a terrible thrashy band with horrible production, a terrible cover and a song called "Sesame Street Mosh". What a treasure!



I've talked about Impetigo a lot on past posts. They are still one of my top 10 favorite bands of all times. I was SO amped when I got this in the mail from Mark! He told me he took the tape to practice specially to get it signed for me. I'm not sure if that was true or not, but I was the KING of the metal scene that day and this tape was my crown. A really lame, lame crown.



This find goes back to the 80's. I hope you find this as funny as I do. Back in the day, in South America, it was hard to get original tapes, so dubbed tapes were the norm. This guy in my class, Eduardo, went to Miami for the summer and brought back a bunch of metal tapes. Of course, I dubbed them all, walked to a near by pharmacy and photocopied all the covers. One of the tapes he brought back the summer of 1988 was Maiden's "Seventh Son." Not sure why I felt the need to use color pencils and a black ball-point in a sad attempt at make the cover look "real", but I'm glad I did. I was 13, what an idiot!



There's plenty more junk where these came from, so stay tuned and watch out for the next "Metal Archeology: Artifacts from a lifetime devoted to metal" post!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Metal Archeology: Artifacts of a lifetime devoted to metal (Part 1)

Just as archeology draws upon the fields of history, anthropology, linguistics and paleontology, metal archeology draws from other sources...mostly old Wild Rags catalogs. How else can you perform accurate carbon dating on my Gammacide 12"?


Just as archeologists carefully dig through piles of rubble in search of artifacts that can give us further information about previous societies, I too have chosen to dig through my own personal rubble in search of answers and artifacts. After what has been nearly a lifelong commitment to metal (in one way or another), I have accumulated assorted artifacts which bring back memories of the past. I have discussed my homemade Morbid Angel shirt, my autographed Obituary drumsticks, my guitar pick collection and other items from my past in previous posts. I shall now continue in that direction, aiming to dig deep into my past (a sometimes embarrassing past) in order to make sense of just who I was at the time. Part archeology dig, part psychotherapy session, I hope this series of ongoing posts will prove to be both insightful and therapeutic to our devoted readers. I shall call this new science: Metal Archeology. Let's get started.


The autographed Impetigo Picture

What an insanely fashionable bunch. "Violate caskets"? Uh...okay.
Notice Stevo's variation on the "holding a grapefuit" pose...apparently the grapefruit he's holding is super heavy.



While at my brother's home only weeks ago I saw a small pile of metal rubble which, to a metal archeologist like me, seemed like an unmistakable sign that amazing finds could lay within its depths. I asked permission to go through the pile, and was quickly rewarded with the item you see above, a picture of Impetigo signed by Mark, and dedicated to my brother. As quickly as I found the picture, the memories began pouring in.

It was a very different time back then. The early 90s (for those of us involved in underground metal culture) was a time largely spent "doing mail", as we called it then. At the risk of sounding like a grandpa, there was no email then, or inexpensive ways to call long distance. As a result of this, all communication was done via mail, and if you were involved in a band, distro, zine or booking shows, you ended up doing significant amounts of mail. In the early 90s, it was primarily my brother who would spend entire Saturdays "doing mail." I did my fair amount of writing, mostly trading death metal videos with other weirdos like Pat from Hellwitch. Doing mail on Saturday, meant going through the envelopes and packages that had arrived all week, and fulfilling orders, answering letters and the like. Out of the suburban basement that we shared at our parents house, we ran what I guess you could call a label, and a distro, as well as a video 'zine, a band, and several awful side projects. We also began to book shows at some point, and did a weekly radio for nearly a decade. These were mostly my brother's projects, in which I played a secondary role. All these projects combined meant a substantial amount of mail was constantly pouring in, filled with all kinds of demos for trade, free shirts, and the occasional box of free CD's and 7" records from Wild Rags (as a result of me being in what today would be referred to as their street team.)

I would often find myself on Saturdays dubbing hours and hours worth of concert footage in order to trade a video with some dude in Ecuador, or Greece. My video list was extensive, and had a few choice pieces that were consistently requested by all kinds of people who sent me their video lists on an almost weekly basis.

When people say that a certain musical scene felt more tightly knit at an earlier time, I usually cringe...but in retrospect it may have been true. We didn't know any of the people we wrote to, so perhaps "tight" is not the right way to put it, but the sheer amount of time and effort that you had to invest into any project always ended up consuming a substantial amount of your days. In case you're wondering, all of our efforts (however awful they were) mostly revolved around the underground death metal and the noise/grindcore scenes of the day. Few, if any, of these bands had any vinyl out, and certainly no CDs. The only acceptable format was cassette. In the case of noise bands, all the official releases were dubbed onto TDK 60 minute tapes, along with cheap, photocopied covers.

See, like any real metal fans back then, we concentrated our efforts primarily around unsigned bands whose demos we would get in the mail. Along with the demos, flier trading was common and popular. As such, we would often send individuals as many as a hundred fliers for our radio show, which they would then send out in each package and letter they sent out to other people all over the world. It was this way that bands from Turkey and Sweden would end up sending us their records and tapes so they could be played in a station they would never hear. If anyone was heavily into trading back then, you'll probably remember that the band Phantasm easily had the most fliers in circulation. Those guys must have all worked at Kinkos or something.

It was in this climate that my brother and I would often befriend (if only by mail) members of bands that we loved, such as Impetigo. I'm not sure how the correspondence with Impetigo began, perhaps my brother can clarify, but I'm sure it was something like us buying their VHS video through the mail, or them sending us music to be played on the radio show. Either way, Mark from Impetigo's letters and packages became a fixture in our mailbox. I distinctly remember him being the first person I knew who asked for his stamps back whenever you wrote him. At first, I didn't understand why he would want his stamps back, but quickly realized that he was coating them with a thin film of Elmer's glue or soap, making the ink of the post office's rubber stamp come off with water, thus making them usable once again. My brother and I quickly adapted the trick ourselves, making our budget for stamps and postage suddenly become much lower. As a result of this latest trick, our small basement bathroom sink was usually filled with water, in which stamps were left to soak in order to be reused. I distinctly remember our hand towel (which hung under our Order From Chaos poster) being used for endless rows of stamps that were left to dry by the sink.

It was in one of these exchanges of mail with Mark from Impetigo that he sent the picture to my brother.

The picture hung above my brother's desk for many years, the desk where he would sit for hours on Saturday mornings and afternoons to "do mail."

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Moving Sale - Everything must go... into storage.

Ah!! It's good to be back! This is my first post since 9/24/08. As some of you may know my life has been a total pile of dog shit since. As we have said many times before, MI staffers are reluctant to reveal too much our personal lives, but I'm gonna make an exception and tell you that my wife fucking left me. The details aren't important, but what matters here is that we are selling our place and I have to move out. I'm selling a lot of my stuff, but not all. I have no idea what shithole in Bed-Stuy I'm gonna end up into, so I'm moving what I'm not selling into storage. As I'm packing, I'll share with you a few things I run into that may be of interest to our readers. Today: some awesome T-shirts.


Crappy art by Stevo


It's no secret I love Impetigo. You can read about my obsession on this post from last year. This sweet Impetigo T-shirt was given to me as a gift by Richard C. of Wild Rags himself, outside the Eagles Auditorium in Milwaukee, WI on July 30th, 1993. It serves as the only piece of hard evidence and proof that I was present during Impetigo's good bye show later that evening. I also wore this T-shirt proudly as we visited Jeffrey Dahmer's place the next day. I was wearing an Impetigo shirt as I stood in front of apartment 213.





This is one of my favorite T-shirts ever. It's pretty bizarre. I traded this shirt with this guy I knew named Brian. I can't remember what I gave him for it, but I know he got ripped off. This shirt is the cat's pajamas! I've only worn this tee a handful of times, since acquiring it in '92. It's spent most of the last 10 years in a plastic bag as demonstrated by its wrinkled appearance. The art is not by Stevo, as Impetigo shirts usually displayed, but it's just as shitty. It looks like it was hand done, not silk screened and the back glows in the dark. That's fucking right bitches, I have an Impetigo shirt that glows in the motherfucking dark. That's how I roll, son!




Kreator 1993 Coma of Souls tour T-shirt. I think the sleeves were removed a few years after that. Not much to say about this one, really. Just that, as you can see, this shirt has been washed a shitload of times and it's so wide it can only be worn by George Costanza.





I don't know WTF I was thinking. Why did I cut the sleeves off on all these T-shirts? I weighed 117lbs up until 1999. My arms were the size of toothpicks, yet I felt my tiny guns needed to be displayed?



This is my favorite T-shirt of this bunch. If I remember correctly, I got this classic tee at a comic book store in Miami. My friend Camilo was waiting just outside in his white Grand Am. I grabbed the thing off the rack and bailed. I wore it at least twice a week since the summer of 1991 until 1998 or so. I'm wearing it in half of our band photos during that time. Many of the scars on the tee are pretty fucking metal, too. A few of the rips came in the pit and all the small holes at the bottom are from the spikes on my belt. The big chunk missing from the bottom happened after a patch I had sown to cover another hole, ripped off during a show in Dee-troit.

Once again, the sleeves were removed at some point. This time, the sleeves ripped and I've had this safety pin holding the thing together for years. I actually still wear this thing once in a while. I usually wear a Harmony Corruption long sleeve under it.

There's a whole box of these things. Every one of them filled with memories and stories.

Alright, like I said, it's good to be back and I hope to get back in the groove and start posting regularly again. Thanks to all the fans that cared enough to realize I hadn't been around. You all need to get a life. Stay metal.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

What is the wackest subgenre of metal?

If you listen to Dream Theater, you are this guy.

Prog
Let's start with an easy target. Why is it that technically skilled musicians choose to play such awful music? (I'm looking at you, Dave Weckl) Look, I like Cynic, Atheist and Watchtower as much as the next guy, but I have to call it like I see it. Metal is full of socially awkward weirdos that exist in their own, bizarre world and have no idea how to interact with human beings, but prog fans are misfits even among this motley crew of losers. It is very impressive that you can play Mekong Delta's entire catalog on your Chapman Stick, but it would be even more impressive if you had the courage to throw yourself on a sword and salvage what little is left of your dignity.

Coming soon to Hydra Head

Stoner Rock
There are two kinds of people who listen to stoner rock: Beardos and old guys with jean vests. Both suck. It is the heavy metal equivalent of rockabilly or ska: a kitschy costume party that couldn't possibly be more contrived and phony. To the beardos, I say that your ironic bandana is about as cool as a pompadore and those dumb rolled-up jeans, and you're certainly not fooling anyone. For the old dudes, I simply ask that you please shut up. Who will help me drive a stake through the black heart of this wretched genre?

This man is the brains behind Explosive Dickhole

One-man MySpace drum machine grindcore
Noisecore is one thing, but one-man MySpace drum machine grindcore (OMMSDMGC) is another. Much as computers ruined graphic design by unleashing desktop publishing on the world, technology also destroyed music by making music-creation tools so cheap that any asshole with fetal alcohol syndrome and a Putrid Pile shirt can and does make a OMMSDMGC project. You know that a band is absolutely fucking terrible if they make you long for the rigorous quality control practices of 7 Minutes of Nausea or the Meatshits.

Wigger slam
Obviously this is not the answer. I only put it in here to see if you were paying attention!

Pantera cover band or brutal death metal? You be the judge.

Brutal death metal
Let's be honest, this shit fucking sucks! If I ever hear another tremolo riff again, it will be too soon, to say nothing of the endless, repetitive blast beats that fill the Unique Leader catalog. Seriously, could there be anything more dull than Deeds of Flesh, Hate Eternal or Vital Remains? Now that I think about it, Vital Remains might be the most boring band in the history of music. And I would rather chop off my asshole with a machete than listen to Krisiun for even a single second. Someone, please invent a device that will incinerate the legions of BDM douchelords with shaved heads, goatees, and Immolation shirts.

What's your take?
I covered a few obvious targets but I am sure there are many that I missed. What is your take? What is the wackest subgenre of metal in your book?

Thursday, June 5, 2008

A SkullKrushing Vinyl Collection (part 3)

Welcome to part 3 of "A SkullKrushing Vinyl Collection," brought to you today by Megaforce Records. If you care, here's parts 1 and 2.

So, here's a few more records from my crates along with a few more stories from my... my... my... my... I don't know. Something that rhymes with "crates"



Alright! Laaz Rockit! What could be better than a cheesy California thrash band? Well, a cheesy California thrash band that misspells the words in it's name on purpose, of course! Well, this is a test pressing of the Rockit's second effort "No Stranger to Danger " that came out in '85. I scored this jewel for $3 at Jerry's, of course. Jerry's is to record stores what double-sided dildos are to the world of adult toys.
I think it's pretty cool to own a record like this, 'cuz when I tell ladies about it, all they wanna do is rip my Testament shirt off and lick my hairy chest. True story. OK, maybe not.



You can file these 3 records under the "You are the luckiest SOB I know" category. When we were in Amsterdam on tour in Europe with my band, we met a guy from a label who wanted to put out some shit of ours. The label had done cool releases before, so I was going to agree anyway, but I guess he felt I needed a little incentive. He offered me his entire Maiden collection. All 11 pieces. I took it all, of course. These 3 picture disc singles are just a sample. If you ever come to my house I might let you see the rest. But, you have to show me your boobies first.



We all know what a dbag Danzig is. The quintessential egomaniac with a Napoleon complex and a serious case small-dick-testosterone-surplus. I got this double 7" bootleg in Eastern Europe somewhere during the same European tour with my band. The sound is so bad, I can only barely recognize one song and it's Samhain, not even Danzig. Still, this is one of my favorite records in my collection. Why? It comes with a poster, dude!



I saw Excruciating Terror in Berkeley once. It was at a Fiesta Grande, so you know the audience was chuck-full-o-PC fags. All these pseudo politically involved bands had been playing and then ET went on. Someone started screaming at them about a song of theirs being racist or sexist or something. I don't know if you have ever seen these dudes, but I wouldn't wanna fuck with them, that's for sure. Anyway, the singer looked at this hippie in the audience and asked him: "Hey, what do you say to a girl with 2 black eyes? - Nothing, you already told her twice." The place went nuts with boos and ET exploded onto their brutal set. It was classic! I got this 7" from Wild Rags, where I'd gotten their demo a few years back. Man, Mexicans can really rock.



I really don't know what to say about these 2 records. Maybe I should say that it's fucking bizarre that nerds out there have offered me up to $300 for the AC / Meat Shits split. Maybe I should say that I'm often embarrassed to own these. Maybe I should say that I own more than a few Meat Shits cassettes. I really should kill myself and this world a better place. Especially for my family.



I'm finishing up with OZ for two reasons:
1. OZ is the awesomest thing to come out of Finland since Mika Hakkinen.
2. I'm working on another classic post on these rockers for next week.

Funny to think that Megaforce records lasted as long as they did putting out shit like this...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

NEW YORKMENT keep it fuckin slam


I have never been in a band, but if I was going to start one, it would be exactly like my new favorite up and coming wigger slam band, NEW YORKMENT. With song titles like "Pit Riffment," "Slam the Gorebong," and "Ingorging Ingorgity," I knew I would love them before I heard the first note. Thanks to Matt from NJ's finest, Kalopsia, for the tip!


Instead of trying to describe them myself, I will use the words of one of their fans instead:

"Yo fuck tha haters. NEW YORKMENT is da real deal. Serious broz, serious music. East Coast new wave of death slam in full effect. NEW YORKMENT, WITHOUT REMORSE, REVENANCE" - Chrissy Wormgutzz

Be sure to check them out on Myspace because I hear they are working on setting up some shows with a bunch of sick bands like Deregorged Necrogorger, Cumtopsy and Ungorge Ingorgity of Ingorgement (sorry, they're too underground for Myspace but I am sure you'll be hearing more about them soon!).

I also agree with their feelings on crappy old bands like Carcass, Repulsion and Iron Maiden. It is refreshing to hear someone tell it like it is. As far as I am concerned, Repulsion and Terrorizer are about as brutal as Fleetwood Mac or Wings, and if you think they are the pinnacle of death metal, you are probably old enough to get the AARP discount on the salad bar at Rax. I am much more interested in guttural slamming brutality like Cemetery Rapist, Malignant Rupture and NJDOTS and cutting edge labels like Fuck The Ass Records that are pushing the envelope with bands like New Yorkment. Crappy old school fossil rockers like Morbid Angel wouldn't know a gravity blast or bass drop if it slammed their ass across the pit.

NO PUSSY ASSED OLDSCHOOL BULLSHIT!! FUCK OLD METAL IRON MAIDEN N MOTERHEAD IS UNBRUTAL SHITTY DINOSAUR METAL!!!!!

If the words of their fans aren't enough to convince you, maybe this testimonial from legendary Japanese wigger slammers Vomit Remnants will persuade you:

""me likey likey. good slammin NYDM shit! i'm glad my boys in dying fetus told me to check this band out!" -Keisuke from Vomit Remnants

NECROTIC ENBLUGEONER, AND MORE PIT CRUSHING SLAMNESS!!!!!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Cemetery Rapist invents "cornfield slam"

We are probably all familiar with the term "wigger," and I will not invite controversy by explaining it here. But what you do not hear so much about is "wignecks," which as you might guess combine the best of wiggers and rednecks. For example they might drive a pickup truck, listen to T-Pain, and chew tobacco while wearing a Metallica shirt and Starter jacket. If you are not from the US, you are probably very confused right now. Don't feel bad, wignecks don't make sense to me either. But they're kind of like chavs, if that helps at all.



In any case, wignecks have largely been absent from the metal scene... until now. Cemetery Rapist is a one-man band that plays "cornfield slam metal", straight out of the fields of Illinois. They are the world's first wigneck slam band. They also operate "Fuck The Ass Records," a splendid record label that I am sure is rivaled only by the likes of Wild Rags in terms of both quality and selection.

With the advent of cornfield slam, I believe the world has officially invented every imaginable genre of music.

Lividity shirt = MENSA membership

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

A SkullKrushing Vinyl Collection (part 1)

Listen here: I know I don't have the awesomest record collection out there, ok? I know my vinyl collection is just a hair above average, but I thought I'd share a few of my favorite pieces in a series of posts and make fun of myself in the process.

I'd like to encourage fellow MI staffers to do the same and post some pics. I know some of them have some pretty good shit, too. (Please post the autographed Danzig gatefold)



I don't even remember where/when I got this, but I'm glad I did. Do you know how many chix I've gotten 'cuz of this limited edition 7" Anthrax picture disc? Yup! Not one.



Still one my favorite records in my collection. When we bought it, we had no idea what Wehrmacht would sound like. They blew our mind off!



I think I got this record as a "gag" birthday gift. I didn't find it funny, I found it RAD! After that opera thing he did with Gogmagog, Paul Di'Anno blessed us with this jewel.



Do I need to say anything about this? Wild Rags + Bloodcum = sweet vinyl! I guess in the Araya and Hanneman households, all the talent went to to Tom and Jeff, respectively.



I have no excuse for owning this. I bought it in Austria. I payed like $7. I know... I'm sorry.



The note reads: "Kurt- The Great Kat is God!!" Duh, of course she is! I have no idea who Kurt is, I stole this record from the radio station I used to work at a billion years ago.



For now, I'll leave you with this image. I like Helloween.


Monday, March 3, 2008

Generic death metal: the ultimate cure for insomnia

I'm a workaholic, and I've invested a lot in my job emotionally. It can be really rewarding, but sometimes I can't sleep at night. I stay up tossing and turning for hours, worrying about things I have to do the next day or whatever. That's when I turn to bad death metal, my most trusted sleep aid.

30 seconds of Benediction and this could be you!

There really isn't anything that puts me to sleep faster than crappy death metal full of dull tremolo riffs, triggered typewriter drums, generic growling vocals, and of course a Dan Seagrave painting on the cover. Jungle Rot and Deeds of Flesh are like lullabyes to me, slowly putting me to sleep like a mother's tender touch or the gentle rocking of a cradle. The repetitive, bland riffing of bands like Vital Remains, Incantation, General Surgery, or pretty much anything else from the vaults of Century Media, JL America, or Wild Rags soothes me like sipping a glass of warm milk by a crackling fire in an overstuffed recliner, carrying me off to the land of nod on gossamer wings. The mere mention of, say, Insatanity or Desultory makes my eyelids feel like they're made of lead.

Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for my afternoon nap. Where's my Agathocles discography?

Friday, February 29, 2008

Are you a poser? Don't be so quick to answer.

So, are you a poser? I'm sure all you reading this will quickly answer to yourselves: NO WAY! Well, I have been asking myself that question for a few days. Ever since all the poser-talk started here on M.I.. The fact is that I don’t know what a poser is these days. I know I wasn't a poser in the old days, but I’m not so sure I’m all that brutal anymore. Maybe I need to start wearing this T-shirt, I don’t know.

Well, I decided to conduct a little mental experiment: what if my 1991-self were to visit my 2008-self in my apartment. What would the 1991-me say to 2008-me? I KNOW '91 was no poser, so I’ll trust his judgment on the poser issue. Below is the full report ‘91 would write on '08's current poser status. Please have in mind that my '91 self didn’t speak much English, so the report has been edited for clarity. Unfortunately, the report was edited by '08 and my English still sucks. I should pay attention to S.O.D.
My 1991-self writes:

"When I first walked into my future self's apartment I was thinking how cool it was that I had moved to New York in the future. I'm sure I'd met the guys from Anthrax and Overkill and hang out with them all the time. Boy, was I wrong.

Anyway, let me put this very simply: my 2008 self is a fucking poser. The sad part is that he doesn’t know it. He wasn't all poser, mind you, but he was pretty close to wearing spandex and make-up. First of all, let me describe this loser, so you guys know what I mean when I say: POSER. This idiot DOESN'T HAVE LONG HAIR! I know, it's crazy! My mom doesn't care anymore, because I don't even live with her, but my future self doesn't grow his hair long!? What else? Prepare yourself: He has BOTH ears pierced! HE'S GAY, TOO! He had no beer in the fridge, just soy milk. This fag was getting on my nerves!
Sure, he wears metal shirts once in a while (some I was wearing back in '91), but most of the time he walks out of the house wearing shirts with NO LOGOS! Nothing! Most of the shirts aren't even black! Some days he doesn’t even wear a T-shirt at all. He wears polo shirts and button-ups! He doesn't wear black high-tops anymore, much less sweet biker boots. His jeans are way to baggy and get this: No denim jacket. I asked him what he sewed all his patches onto and he said he didn't have patches!
Also, there was not ONE poster on his walls. This loser has a whole apartment and doesn't have ANY posters? No flyers? Not even a goddam band sticker on his bed. This guy is a SERIOUS poser, I'm telling you. Next, I went to his record collection. I was happy to see a hefty chunk of vinyl. Aside from a few things here and there, it was a pretty brutal bunch of wax. The tapes, he told me, were "in storage". How does he listen to them, you ask? He doesn't. He doesn't even have a tape player. Not a boombox, not a stereo, not even a cassette player in the car...NOTHING.
I guess most of those tapes I bought myself, so I concentrated on the records and CD's. I only owned a handful of CDs in '91, but I guess the format took off in the last 18 years. I was impressed with the selection of metal, I must admit. Nice picture discs, nice Anthrax collection, nice Laaz Rockit test pressing, solid death metal pieces, lots of Slayer and Maiden, too. I really liked the multiple copies of "Master of Puppets" and DRI "Crossover". A few autographed things thrown in for good measure. On CD, it was mostly death metal. Not bad, but all that was cancelled out by all the POSER shit I saw. This dicklicker had a Motley Crue gatefold record. I'm not kidding. He told me he actually likes it! He tried to get out of it by saying it was "Shout at the Devil" and not "Dr. Feelgood", but I told him: a pussy band is a pussy band, no matter what record. I also came across Doors and Pink Floyd CDs. Are you kidding me? A poser AND a hippie? A Police box-set, Jackson Five...don’t even get me started on the rap! He had way too much punk, too. Not that punk is super-poser, but dude, THAT much punk mixed into your metal is never a good thing. He’d also gotten rid of most GrindCore records, Wild Rags Records and Kraze Records releases! Those were fucking GOLD!

Well, by looking at him, I'd thought: 'poser fag.' But after looking at the record collection, I thought I should give my future self another chance. I asked him what was the latest show he'd been to. This fucking pansy told me that he'd seen a jazz band in Brooklyn last weekend! Dude, are you KIDDING me? WTF is up with jazz? Do you do aerobics, too? Fuck, if you were in Brooklyn, did you at least go to L'amours and hang out with Nuclear Assault or Whiplash? "Nah," he said "I haven't been there in years." In YEARS? Dude, if I lived in New York I’d be there EVERY DAY!
Damn, I was getting real sick of this clown and I had to get back to '91. Headbanger's Ball was about to start and I was hoping to catch the Holy Wars video. I had to get my Betamax ready to record that!



Fuck, dude! I grew-up to be a poser!”