Ready? Set? Get depressed. In the video below, Mr Lemmy Kilmister gives us an exclusive tour of his apartment in the city of Los Angeles. While some of you will be stupid enough to claim that he's "keeping it real" by living in more depressing quarters than many 19 year old record store employees, I beg to differ.
If you're not fully depressed by the end of the Lemmy video, perhaps seeing Fenriz's living quarters will do the trick.
Showing posts with label stallone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stallone. Show all posts
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Monday, December 8, 2008
Metal Spokesmen: An Overview (Part 2 of 3)
This is part 2 of a three part post about the value of spokesmen in the realm of metal.
Ron Popeil is perhaps the best known TV spokesman. He has talked millions of lonely housewives into buying less than amazing products like Mr Microphone, GLH (Great Looking Hair), Chop-O-Matic and the Showtime Rotisserie. Upon seeing his picture, you can surely tell that Ron Popeil and Iron Maiden's Eddie have at least one thing in common. Their looks. Aside from that, Eddie and Ron were both true pioneers in the world of spokesmen. What does that mean? Like the true pro that he is, Ron always showed us his products in the best light possible, even going to great lengths (cutting shoes in half with Ginsu knives) to do so. Similarly, spokesmen in the realm of metal have to do their job...regardless as to whether the album is a winner (Iron Maiden's Powerslave) or an absolute dud (Laaz Rockit's....well, any of their albums). Let's take a closer look at the spokesmen that made us buy the albums.
In this post, as in the last one, I will rate spokesmen according to my Metal Spokesman Metrics (MSM for short). Remember: the scores I will give are for the spokesperson, not the band or their output.
__________________________________________________________________
Not Man
Not Man certainly looks like an anti-semitic depiction of a jewish merchant, but Scott and Danny are jewish....so maybe it's all in my head.
I have to confess that back in the day Anthrax was one of my absolute favorites, and as a result I'm slightly biased on this one. Even though I grew up in a rather cold city, I made my mom buy me bermuda shorts simply because of Anthrax. Ugh, how embarrassing.
Never known to shy away from humor or lightheartedness, Anthrax enlisted the Not Man as their spokesperson mid-way through their career. Forgive me for not knowing, but I'm still unsure as to where the hell the Not Man came from. Is it modeled after the rubber faces you could buy from the gumball machines? Was it drawn by the guy from MAD Magazine, or was that only for the one drawing on State Of Euphoria? Did Scott Ian draw it while looking into his crystal ball in order to let us know what he would look like as an aging jewish man? I don't know.
Coolness: 8
Evilness: 0
Backpatch worthiness: 8
Total MSM score: 16
__________________________________________________________________
Creepy Sphere
Perhaps one of the oddest spokesmen in metal is the Pestilence creepy-sphere. Much in the way that their music tried to stretch the meaning of metal, so too did their choice in spokesman/spokesphere. An unusual choice, Pestilence creepy sphere is a slightly evolved version of the those gazing balls that fat people put on their front lawns. Had Pestilence come around earlier with their magic sphere, perhaps Mordred would have been tempted to pursue granting spokesman status to the checkerboard pattern on their cover of Fool's Game. The same could be said for the checkerboard pattern in Broken Hope's Swamped In Gore. If you can have a sphere as a spokesman, why not a checkerboard pattern?
But back to Pestilence. Perhaps one of Dan Seagrave's most haunting artistic statements, the creepy sphere is the only truly inanimate spokesman I can think of. I can picture an infomercial for a Pestilence album, where the sphere sits there, silently for long stretches of time. Though that may sound odd, many people have reported that listening to Pestilence feels a lot like staring at a sphere that does nothing for hours. So at least, it would be an accurate depiction of the product. I have to confess that many years ago, I saw that Dan Seagrave was selling the original artwork for the cover that you see above. I was like $850, and for a split second I considered getting it. I know, I'm an idiot for having considered it, and an idiot for not having done it. Can you imagine me giving people a tour of my house, and proudly saying "oh this old thing....it's just an original Dan Seagrave...from the Pestilence album 'Testimony of the ancients'. Are you familar with his work?" I would be both the lamest and the coolest guy ever...at the same time!
Coolness: 6
Evilness: 1 (Though certainly not evil, a metal sphere thing sitting there in my room would be kinda' scary I guess...especially if it just appeared suddenly.)
Backpatch worthiness: 4
Total MSM score: 11
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Surfin' Dude
He's surfing on a casket lid, while wearing a helmet and carrying a bomb? Uh...okay. Man, the 80s were a weird time.
The 80s were an odd time in the world of thrash and speed metal. How else can you explain a band using the word "Reich" in their name, then having their spokesperson have concentration camp-style tattoos on his arm, and STILL be considered "politically aware" and "socially-conscious"? Weird stuff. Perhaps if I could quickly board the Nocturnus time machine, and travel back to 1988 I would understand things better...because I'm having trouble remembering how any of this made any sense back then. Anyway, their surfin' dude was only used on a couple of covers and shirts, but he certainly embodied the band's brand. Though nicely tan and in shape, the guy had a built in gas mask...perhaps due to all the toxic waste in the ocean that every thrash band was obsessed with. Today, you really CAN surf Nicaragua. This site proves it. surfnicaragua.com
Coolness: 8
Evilness: 4 (He's surfing for god's sake! What's he going to do next? Get fish tacos and ride his cruiser bike down the boardwalk?)
Backpatch worthiness: 7
Total MSM score: 19
__________________________________________________________________
The Voivod
Half-skull, and half-tank "The Voivod" (as the band's spokesman is known) has been an enigma to me ever since I saw an interview where members of the band tried to explain the concept in their faulty english.
I've heard like five interviews where members from Voivod try to explain how their band is a concept band, and how it has to do with technology or something...I still don't understand it. I think this skull dude is called "The Voivod" based on an interview I saw once, but I'm not even sure. Some say this thing is called "Korgull", but I don't know. Look, since I'm not a native speaker of the English language, and I have an accent myself, I can tell you this without risking being labeled a xenophobe...I don't understand a damn thing French Canadians say. They sound retarded. I know I probably do too...but god damn.
Coolness: 9
Evilness: 6 (Okay, so he's a skull and pretty evil looking...but he has wires and stuff hanging out. That means that if I were engaged in battle with him, I could just pee on him, and he would short out.)
Backpatch worthiness: 10
Total MSM score: 25
__________________________________________________________________
Mad Butcher
The first Destruction album I heard back in the day was that live one where they played "In The Mood" and the Pink Panther theme song. As a result, I never thought of them as being particularly evil or metal...I mean, nothing says "metal" like a good Glenn Miller tune. Having said that, the Mad Butcher was plenty evil. Though only used in a couple of occasions, the Mad Butcher was certainly identifiable as Destruction's spokesman. Like their fellow Germans Helloween, however, Destruction suffered as its brand became fragmented.
As stated before regarding Helloween's spokesman schizophrenia, Destruction's brand fragmentation most likely came about as a result of their German heritage. Being from a country still coming to terms with its own fragmented political past (pre and post war), created a dual personality that came to the surface in its most visible form via Destruction and Helloween's artwork. The cracked skull that Destruction used in multiple covers was, oddly enough, NOT used in their less than amazing album (and Ice-T's favorite) Cracked Brain. I should point out, that brains don't usually crack, skulls do. Though I guess a brain could crack, as a figure of speach...but that's not the point, now is it? Due to this confussion, I will judge the butcher only.
Coolness: 6
Evilness: 6
Backpatch worthiness: 5
Total MSM score: 17
__________________________________________________________________
Helicopter-head lawnmower operator
In Lawnmower Deth's artowrk, Dan Seagrave showed us his true versatility as an artist. Known to most as the guy that painted the lobster claws in Sepultura's Arise cover, Dan wanted to stretch his wings and draw terrible artwork with a different theme. It was with this mindset that Dan's mind gave birth to whatever the hell this green sphere with a helicopter head is. Reminiscent of Tankard's green alien (which itself looked like a Gremlin), this spokesman was created to accurately depict the fun-loving and insanely annoying quality of the band. At first, these green monsters were the operators of lawnmowers, but at some point they became versatile enough to stand on their own. Not opposed to working with other lawn equipment, they were also depcited working with chainsaws.
I remember listening to Lawnmower Deth back in the day, and thinking they were amazingly funny. Today, I would rather chomp on multiple cyanide capsules at once.
Coolness: 2
Evilness: 0
Backpatch worthiness: 2
Total MSM score: 4
Part 3 will be posted on Friday and will feature Megadeth, Manowar, Sodom and more. Stay tuned!
Ron Popeil is perhaps the best known TV spokesman. He has talked millions of lonely housewives into buying less than amazing products like Mr Microphone, GLH (Great Looking Hair), Chop-O-Matic and the Showtime Rotisserie. Upon seeing his picture, you can surely tell that Ron Popeil and Iron Maiden's Eddie have at least one thing in common. Their looks. Aside from that, Eddie and Ron were both true pioneers in the world of spokesmen. What does that mean? Like the true pro that he is, Ron always showed us his products in the best light possible, even going to great lengths (cutting shoes in half with Ginsu knives) to do so. Similarly, spokesmen in the realm of metal have to do their job...regardless as to whether the album is a winner (Iron Maiden's Powerslave) or an absolute dud (Laaz Rockit's....well, any of their albums). Let's take a closer look at the spokesmen that made us buy the albums.
In this post, as in the last one, I will rate spokesmen according to my Metal Spokesman Metrics (MSM for short). Remember: the scores I will give are for the spokesperson, not the band or their output.
__________________________________________________________________
Not Man
Not Man certainly looks like an anti-semitic depiction of a jewish merchant, but Scott and Danny are jewish....so maybe it's all in my head.I have to confess that back in the day Anthrax was one of my absolute favorites, and as a result I'm slightly biased on this one. Even though I grew up in a rather cold city, I made my mom buy me bermuda shorts simply because of Anthrax. Ugh, how embarrassing.
Never known to shy away from humor or lightheartedness, Anthrax enlisted the Not Man as their spokesperson mid-way through their career. Forgive me for not knowing, but I'm still unsure as to where the hell the Not Man came from. Is it modeled after the rubber faces you could buy from the gumball machines? Was it drawn by the guy from MAD Magazine, or was that only for the one drawing on State Of Euphoria? Did Scott Ian draw it while looking into his crystal ball in order to let us know what he would look like as an aging jewish man? I don't know.
Coolness: 8
Evilness: 0
Backpatch worthiness: 8
Total MSM score: 16
__________________________________________________________________
Creepy Sphere
Perhaps one of the oddest spokesmen in metal is the Pestilence creepy-sphere. Much in the way that their music tried to stretch the meaning of metal, so too did their choice in spokesman/spokesphere. An unusual choice, Pestilence creepy sphere is a slightly evolved version of the those gazing balls that fat people put on their front lawns. Had Pestilence come around earlier with their magic sphere, perhaps Mordred would have been tempted to pursue granting spokesman status to the checkerboard pattern on their cover of Fool's Game. The same could be said for the checkerboard pattern in Broken Hope's Swamped In Gore. If you can have a sphere as a spokesman, why not a checkerboard pattern?
But back to Pestilence. Perhaps one of Dan Seagrave's most haunting artistic statements, the creepy sphere is the only truly inanimate spokesman I can think of. I can picture an infomercial for a Pestilence album, where the sphere sits there, silently for long stretches of time. Though that may sound odd, many people have reported that listening to Pestilence feels a lot like staring at a sphere that does nothing for hours. So at least, it would be an accurate depiction of the product. I have to confess that many years ago, I saw that Dan Seagrave was selling the original artwork for the cover that you see above. I was like $850, and for a split second I considered getting it. I know, I'm an idiot for having considered it, and an idiot for not having done it. Can you imagine me giving people a tour of my house, and proudly saying "oh this old thing....it's just an original Dan Seagrave...from the Pestilence album 'Testimony of the ancients'. Are you familar with his work?" I would be both the lamest and the coolest guy ever...at the same time!
Coolness: 6
Evilness: 1 (Though certainly not evil, a metal sphere thing sitting there in my room would be kinda' scary I guess...especially if it just appeared suddenly.)
Backpatch worthiness: 4
Total MSM score: 11
__________________________________________________________________
Surfin' Dude
He's surfing on a casket lid, while wearing a helmet and carrying a bomb? Uh...okay. Man, the 80s were a weird time.The 80s were an odd time in the world of thrash and speed metal. How else can you explain a band using the word "Reich" in their name, then having their spokesperson have concentration camp-style tattoos on his arm, and STILL be considered "politically aware" and "socially-conscious"? Weird stuff. Perhaps if I could quickly board the Nocturnus time machine, and travel back to 1988 I would understand things better...because I'm having trouble remembering how any of this made any sense back then. Anyway, their surfin' dude was only used on a couple of covers and shirts, but he certainly embodied the band's brand. Though nicely tan and in shape, the guy had a built in gas mask...perhaps due to all the toxic waste in the ocean that every thrash band was obsessed with. Today, you really CAN surf Nicaragua. This site proves it. surfnicaragua.com
Coolness: 8
Evilness: 4 (He's surfing for god's sake! What's he going to do next? Get fish tacos and ride his cruiser bike down the boardwalk?)
Backpatch worthiness: 7
Total MSM score: 19
__________________________________________________________________
The Voivod
Half-skull, and half-tank "The Voivod" (as the band's spokesman is known) has been an enigma to me ever since I saw an interview where members of the band tried to explain the concept in their faulty english.I've heard like five interviews where members from Voivod try to explain how their band is a concept band, and how it has to do with technology or something...I still don't understand it. I think this skull dude is called "The Voivod" based on an interview I saw once, but I'm not even sure. Some say this thing is called "Korgull", but I don't know. Look, since I'm not a native speaker of the English language, and I have an accent myself, I can tell you this without risking being labeled a xenophobe...I don't understand a damn thing French Canadians say. They sound retarded. I know I probably do too...but god damn.
Coolness: 9
Evilness: 6 (Okay, so he's a skull and pretty evil looking...but he has wires and stuff hanging out. That means that if I were engaged in battle with him, I could just pee on him, and he would short out.)
Backpatch worthiness: 10
Total MSM score: 25
__________________________________________________________________
Mad Butcher
The first Destruction album I heard back in the day was that live one where they played "In The Mood" and the Pink Panther theme song. As a result, I never thought of them as being particularly evil or metal...I mean, nothing says "metal" like a good Glenn Miller tune. Having said that, the Mad Butcher was plenty evil. Though only used in a couple of occasions, the Mad Butcher was certainly identifiable as Destruction's spokesman. Like their fellow Germans Helloween, however, Destruction suffered as its brand became fragmented.
As stated before regarding Helloween's spokesman schizophrenia, Destruction's brand fragmentation most likely came about as a result of their German heritage. Being from a country still coming to terms with its own fragmented political past (pre and post war), created a dual personality that came to the surface in its most visible form via Destruction and Helloween's artwork. The cracked skull that Destruction used in multiple covers was, oddly enough, NOT used in their less than amazing album (and Ice-T's favorite) Cracked Brain. I should point out, that brains don't usually crack, skulls do. Though I guess a brain could crack, as a figure of speach...but that's not the point, now is it? Due to this confussion, I will judge the butcher only.
Coolness: 6
Evilness: 6
Backpatch worthiness: 5
Total MSM score: 17
__________________________________________________________________
Helicopter-head lawnmower operator
In Lawnmower Deth's artowrk, Dan Seagrave showed us his true versatility as an artist. Known to most as the guy that painted the lobster claws in Sepultura's Arise cover, Dan wanted to stretch his wings and draw terrible artwork with a different theme. It was with this mindset that Dan's mind gave birth to whatever the hell this green sphere with a helicopter head is. Reminiscent of Tankard's green alien (which itself looked like a Gremlin), this spokesman was created to accurately depict the fun-loving and insanely annoying quality of the band. At first, these green monsters were the operators of lawnmowers, but at some point they became versatile enough to stand on their own. Not opposed to working with other lawn equipment, they were also depcited working with chainsaws.
I remember listening to Lawnmower Deth back in the day, and thinking they were amazingly funny. Today, I would rather chomp on multiple cyanide capsules at once.
Coolness: 2
Evilness: 0
Backpatch worthiness: 2
Total MSM score: 4
Part 3 will be posted on Friday and will feature Megadeth, Manowar, Sodom and more. Stay tuned!
Friday, December 5, 2008
Metal Spokesmen: An Overview (Part 1 of 3)
If you've watched any American television, you've probably seen plenty of infomercials, and thus come to understand the importance of having a great spokesperson for your product. Pictured above is the exuberant and ever-present Billy Mays, who is basically like Iron Maiden's Eddie, but for Oxy Clean, and numerous other cleaning products. In the world of metal, the role of spokesman was basically started by Eddie, who has single-handedly come to represent Iron Maiden. Notice that I use the word "spokesman", not "mascot", as I see the spokesman's role as extending past that of a mascot. In this post (1 of 2) I will survey the metal landscape in order to further understand Eddie and other metal spokesmen. I will be rating them all according to my Metal Spokesman Metrics (MSM for short). Note: the scores I will give are for the spokesperson and their value, not the band or their output.__________________________________________________________________
Eddie
I hope Eddie's insurance through Iron Maiden Corp. includes dental coverage...because eating those letters made of stone can be hard on enamel. Eddie IS Iron Maiden. Eddie could probably go on the Home Shopping Network and sell Maiden jackets and bandanas with ease. He's the embodiment of the metal spokesperson. I imagine his voice being soothing, with a pleasant but not overbearing British accent. I'm sure he'd have his moments of anger on camera while on the Home Shopping Network...perhaps if he didn't know which camera to show the bandana to...but aside from that, he'd be a pro.
Over the years, other bands have tried to jump on the spokesman bandwagon, trying to create an identifiable brand that would create continuity in their artwork and stage shows. Eddie's versatility over the years has been truly amazing. Even though the guy seems to have no brain, and only two screws hold his skull shut, he's been able to play a mental patient, a pilot, a soldier...the list goes on and on. The guy is like the Sean Connery of metal. In a shockingly postmodern/self-referential turn, Eddie has even been asked to play a member of the very band he represents! Amazing, I know! I should tell you that I object to the fact that Maiden has fired Derek Riggs, the man who created Eddie. Looking at the current work he's doing, however, perhaps it's for the best. Take a look for yourself. By the way, did everyone see that awful video a few years ago where members of the band were racing cars inside Eddie? I think the animation was done by students at DeVry.
Coolness: 6
Evilness: 8
Backpatch worthiness: 7
Total MSM score: 21
__________________________________________________________________
Sergeant D
Could someone please explain to me what the background behind Sergeant D's head is supposed to be? Why is his head floating? Is his head mounted on a wall like a deer or something? Did Charlie just take so long to draw the face that after he was done he just said "Ah, fuck it, I'll just draw some crap as the background, I'm tired"Sergeant D was a fictional character that members of SOD made up. I've heard them explain it as him being a "funny fascist character" before. I don't know how funny fascism can be, maybe Mr. Gene Hoglan's Balls can ask his Italian family members and let us know. I know when I think "funny", I think "fascist". Don't you? Anyway, the character was drawn with felt-tip markers (you can see it very clearly, along with the ballpoint pen lines on the LP) by Charlie. I've never understood what the background behind Sergeant D is supposed to be. Are those two metal swords with a wooden fence behind them? Why is Sergeant D's head floating magically? It also took me forever to realize that the thing in his mouth was a cigar. Charlie's foreshortening needs some work...or perhaps I need glasses. Also, if he's a "fascist" why does he have an anarchy sign on his helmet? I would say that an oppressive, totalitarian state is kinda' diametrically opposed to the concept of anarchy. No?
SOD has continued to use the character, even going as far as having him replace Eddie on the cover of one of their horrible albums. Billy Milano went on to use the same character, more or less, for MOD. And why wouldn't he? He already stole the name and the concept of the band to keep himself from starving to death. Okay, so the band name is one letter off. As I've said before, that would be like Dave Mustaine starting a band called Netallica after being kicked out of Metallica.
Coolness: 6
Evilness: 9 (He's a fascist/nazi corpse! That's plenty evil in my book.)
Backpatch worthiness: 9 (I had a small patch of the cover on my jacket, back before I knew English. Imagine my surprise when I learned English and figured out what the patch said!)
Total MSM score: 24
__________________________________________________________________
Drunk Alien
Is he flying around space in his refrigerator spaceship? Damn, Germans have ALL the cool technology!I don't know a whole lot about Tankard's drunken alien. Partially inspired by the movie Gremlins, this fun loving character appears to enjoy alcoholic beverages from planet earth, kinda like ALF and cats. The idea of having a cute spokesman like this for your metal band is ridiculous. I get it, you're a fun German band made up of fat drunks...but having a Gremlin on your covers really ruins the whole concept as far as I'm concerned.
Coolness: 2
Evilness: 1 (I guess I'd be kinda' scared if I woke up and saw a German Gremlin going through my fridge)
Backpatch worthiness: 0
Total MSM score: 2 (*Mathematical error noted)
__________________________________________________________________
Angry Army Dude
While many thrash bands in the 80's were big fans of pseudo political content with slight lefty leanings, Laaz Rockit chose to keep it real by making an insane American army dude their spokesperson. USA! USA! USA!Never one to innovate in any way, Laaz Rockit jumped into the spokesman arena with their angry, army guy. Clearly influenced by Rambo, this american lunatic is out to make things right for the USA. The character was seen on a few record covers and even made an appearance in Rockit's seminal video for "Fire In The Hole". In that video, the character was apparently played by the same buy who played Drago in Rocky V. I should also mention that Laaz Rockit, like Helloween, had some branding issues. At one point the band tried to change things up by going with a mad scientist whose insides were made out of toxic goo as their spokesperson. This direction didn't last. By the way, what the hell was it with thrash bands in the 80's being obsessed with toxic waste? Look for a post about that in the near future.
Coolness: 6
Evilness: 5
Backpatch worthiness: 2
Total MSM score: 13
__________________________________________________________________
Fun Pumpkin/Faceless Robe Guy
Like so many things about Germany, Helloween's spokesperson schizophrenia expresses the duality of a country still coming to grips with its political past.Helloween tried two different directions when it came to choosing a spokesperson. First, they went with the creepy faceless dude wearing a robe. This certainly made them seem scary and magical in a way...kinda like Lord Of the Rings or something. Then, a change happened. The band wanted to be more fun, perhaps influenced by members of Anthrax wearing shorts. They wanted to have the audience sing "Happy Helloween" to the tune of "London Bridge Is Fallin' Down" in the I Want Out live EP. As a result of this change in direction, the creepy dude simply didn't cut it. So they went to the fun pumpkin guy. Personally, I like the faceless dude more...even if it's a mismatch for their musical output. I will judge both combined.
Coolness: 5
Evilness: 4 (faceless guy is cool, but the pumpkin takes it right back down)
Backpatch worthiness: 5
Total MSM score: 14
__________________________________________________________________
Flying Skull/Bat Thing
I don't know why that dude is hiding from the flying skull with bat wings, but he better watch out! That thing is shooting godamned lasers out of its eyes!Perhaps best known for its appearance in the the Hello From The Gutter video, and thus subsequently being referenced by Bevis and Butthead, Overkill's flying skull thing has been a mainstay of Overkill's artwork from the band's start. In order to educate our readers, I should tell you that Overkill's spokesperson (not mascot damnit, these entities are integral parts of the band's brand), is named "Chaly", I don't know why. Wikipedia says:
The band also has a notable mascot (named Chaly), a skeletal bat with a skull-like face, bony wings, and green eyes. It has appeared on most of their album covers.
I'm not sure exactly how a human skull can have bat wings which are themselves not bones, but have flesh on them. This apparent mutation is exactly the type of thing that can only happen in Overkill's home state of New Jersey.
Coolness: 6
Evilness: 8 (You can laugh all you want, but if you were being chased by a flying skull...you'd agree that this thing is pretty evil)
Backpatch worthiness: 4
Total MSM score: 18
__________________________________________________________________
On Monday, part 2 will be posted. It will feature the likes of Sodom , Sacred Reich, Voivod, Anthrax, Megadeth, Quiet Riot, and even Rumble Militia. Stay tuned.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Goretorture: The world's first Schwartzeneggar-themed grindcore band
One of my favorite films of all time is the 1985 classic "Commando," starring Arnold Schwartzeneggar. Before we go any further, please watch this legendary scene so you will be prepared for the rest of our discussion.
Now you can see why I love this film so much. You will also understand why I was so excited to discover the Finnish band Goretorture, the world's first of what will almost certainly be a host of Arnold Schwartzeneggar-themed grindcore bands!
The formula is familiar, but the execution is flawless. Like Mortician or the Meatshits, every song starts out with a lengthy sample intro, then they start blasting. Only unlike awful bands like Mortician, who force you to listen to over a minute of some girl screaming from a crappy 1970s horror movie, Goretorture treats you to quotes from the entirety of Arnold's career as an actor and politician. Listening to is like combining the delicious tastes of chocolate and peanut butter: you get the best moments from films like T2, Kindergarten Cop, Predator, and of course Commando plus the sweet sounds of generic drum machine grindcore to lull you off to the land of nod. What could be better??
What I really like about Goretorture is that they don't half ass it. Whereas other bands would wimp out by using only tiny snippets of Arnold, Goretorture gives you the whole enchilada. For example, one of their songs begins with a clip of Schwartzeneggar's California Governorship acceptance speech that goes on for a good 5 minutes. I love it! One of my favorite comedic devices is when things drag on and on and on and on and on until the audience is begging for death (see Neil Hamburger), and it is obvious that Goretorture are big fans too.
Visit Goretorture on MySpace, and more information and songs are available here. Don't miss out!! Before you check it out, though, watch this other scene from the classic film Commando:
Now you can see why I love this film so much. You will also understand why I was so excited to discover the Finnish band Goretorture, the world's first of what will almost certainly be a host of Arnold Schwartzeneggar-themed grindcore bands!
The formula is familiar, but the execution is flawless. Like Mortician or the Meatshits, every song starts out with a lengthy sample intro, then they start blasting. Only unlike awful bands like Mortician, who force you to listen to over a minute of some girl screaming from a crappy 1970s horror movie, Goretorture treats you to quotes from the entirety of Arnold's career as an actor and politician. Listening to is like combining the delicious tastes of chocolate and peanut butter: you get the best moments from films like T2, Kindergarten Cop, Predator, and of course Commando plus the sweet sounds of generic drum machine grindcore to lull you off to the land of nod. What could be better??
What I really like about Goretorture is that they don't half ass it. Whereas other bands would wimp out by using only tiny snippets of Arnold, Goretorture gives you the whole enchilada. For example, one of their songs begins with a clip of Schwartzeneggar's California Governorship acceptance speech that goes on for a good 5 minutes. I love it! One of my favorite comedic devices is when things drag on and on and on and on and on until the audience is begging for death (see Neil Hamburger), and it is obvious that Goretorture are big fans too.
Visit Goretorture on MySpace, and more information and songs are available here. Don't miss out!! Before you check it out, though, watch this other scene from the classic film Commando:
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