My retarded metal scrapbook, part 2

Here we have further proof of my self-important delusions of grandeur, circa 1992. Archived for your pleasure, numerous receipts of my musical purchases around that time, which I thoroughly believed would be displayed int he Smithsonian at one point.

Sacred Rich "Question", Rightouts Pigs "Stress Related", Brujeria 7", Misifts "Evilive", Death Kennedys "Give me Convenience"

Believer "Extraction", Broken Bones and Tankard cassettes, Slayer "Decade of Aggression", DRI "Crossover", Wehrmacht LP and Metallica "One" 45-single, Slayer cassette, and DOA cassette, Sacred Reich "Surf Nicaragua"

Robb Flynn's Disease. Before And After

Metal Inquisition once again opens its video vault, this time to reveal footage of Robb Flynn prior to contracting the very disease that would be named after him. I remember watching this footage of Vio-Lence when it first came out (1990) and thinking these guys were absolutely rad. Now I look at this footage and realize that they all look like meth dealers who were molested by their uncles. Were they sponsored by Fruit Of The Loom? What's with all the sweatpants, sweatshirts and gym socks? Jesus. Also, please note the amazing facial hair.


Anyway, please pay attention to the shy gentleman wearing the sweet Metal Church hat. That young man, the one with the quiet demeanor, is none other than Robb Flynn. Who knew that such a nice guy would go on to be such a huge douche bag. Come to think of it, as silly as the guys in Vio-Lence look in this interview...I much prefer it to what Robb has gone on to do, both musically and fashion-wise. Ah, the good old days.

Lastly, if any of you out there are in a band, it's very important that you pay close attention to this whole video. Here, the guys in the band break down how they got signed and went on sell tens of records worldwide. Apparently, doing a "demo giveaway through Mechanic" is the key to their success. This video also offers a quick primer on how to deal with the media. Apparently, you have to talk into the camera. Watch and learn.

Dark Throne - Unplugged

Sometimes we can gain a deeper understanding of art by simply taking in a fresh interpretation of a well known piece. Consider, if you will, the multiple acoustic versions of Dark Throne's "Transilvanian Hunger" available to us through the magic of youtube.




There's nothing about a chubby, latino dude wearing a sweet baja sweatshirt that says "black metal"




Dude, you should be picking at twice the speed. Burzum shirt and Metallica shorts? Go make your bed. And then tune your guitar.



Okay, this guy is plugged in. Seriously, do you need the sheet music in a stand to play this song? His mom is gonna be so pissed about him putting his feet up on that tasteful ottoman. Nice zippers on his pants too. Sexy.



This guy got straight up fancy with the arrangement. He made the song suck even more. He's like the Dave Matthews of black metal.



This guy knew he didn't look very metal. So he spared us the visual.




Rolling Stones poster? I know metal sir, and you are not metal. I can just picture his mom crying about the fact that this is what her looser son has turned out to be.