Could it be true? Could the aging metal choo-choo train known as Slayer be coming to it's well deserved and (some might say) long-awaited stop? Based on their age and ability to produce quality music, it would certainly make sense. Tom Araya seems to agree, at least about the age part. Still, one has to wonder if perhaps Tom's catholic guilt has finally gotten to him, after singing "The Anti-Christ" one too many times. Here's part of an interview with Tom, where he discusses the eventual end of the cash cow known as Slayer:
"I don't see it going any further than a certain point in time. We have one more record to do, which is our deal with [producer Rick] Rubin, and we'll have to sit down and discuss the future. But I can't really see myself doing this at a later age."
"There have been remarks made about seeing an old man head-bang," laughs Araya. "And I have to agree. I think the Stones can do that, probably go out and do their stuff in their 80s, but it just wouldn't look right [for us], you know what I mean?
Kerry King responded to such comments in a recent interview:
Interviewer: Tom said that after the next Slayer album, you guys would have to discuss your future as a band, because he's reaching an age where it might no longer be viable.
King: I haven't even heard that. He hasn't talked to me about it. But after taking 10 months off, I bet you he's recharged and ready to rock. As far as I'm concerned, I look at people like Ronnie James Dio and Rob Halford and I think, 'Shit, maybe I'm not done!'"
Unable to make car payments, Kerry King has been forced to take the occasional baby sitting job as of late. Aside from providing Kerry with some extra pocket change, it has sent a clear sign to his wife that he's finally ready to settle down, stop acting like a douche, and make some babies. He'll probably keep wearing huge camo pants, but at least it's a start.
I understand both points of view. Tom wants to spend time at home with his family, going to church picnics and tending to his mane. Kerry wants to make more money so he can keep eating, and at one point finally launch his wrestling career.
No matter how awesome rednecks in Kansas think Tom is, his daughter still cries in embarrassment when forced to be seen with her aging dad.
A bit of metal history salvaged from the Metal Inquisition video vault, freshly transfered from Beta tape for your viewing pleasure. Please note the dopey fans at the beginning. I think this video marks the last time that Kerry King's hair was seen anywhere.
It's also the last time he was seen looking like a normal human being, and not a wrestler...though he did have the sweet lines shaved in his facial hair. Listen to him call Alice In Chains "Alice". Enjoy.
This post is not about wrestling or who’s the current WWE Champion (even though we all know it should still be Orton). It’s not about how lame wrestling is/was/has been in the US, or any of that. Please keep the wrestling specific comments to yourself. Thank you.
It’s safe to say that there’s always been a loose connection between pro-wrestling and metal. Maybe it’s the attitude, the "look" or maybe it’s the fact that both are heavily embraced by ignorant trailer-dwelling Americans. Some of the wrestlers in the US have/had some pretty metal gimmicks. Take The Road Warriors, the Brothers of Destruction, that clown Sting (who looks like he belongs in a shitty black metal band) and others. Then, there’s always Triple H and his Motorhead connection, Balls Mahoney, who often sports metal shirts and there's even that hot metal chick a few years back. Well, all that is nothing compared to what you can find the CMLL and AAA in Mexico.
The Road Warriors, who GWAR basically ripped-off
I gotta admit, I had a huge crush on Lita back in the day
Kane and The Undertaker. Really, how more metal can you get?
Balls Mahoney is a huge (no pun intended) King Diamond fan
Let me start with my favorite wrestler in Mexico, La Parka (a.k.a. L.A. PARK). You can’t deny that’s a metal-ass costume. I don’t know what’s up with the male symbol on his wrists, but I guess gay can also be metal?
Cuervo, Damian 666, Espiritu and Ozz look like a black metal band from the mid-west. The best part is that without ever touching a musical instrument in their lives, they’d probably get signed to some label called “Northern Trees Without Leaves Records” based on looks alone. We'll look at these "hermanos" in detail below.
Espiritu has the Dark Throne logo on his face and lots of pentagrams on his gear. Survey says... METAL!
OK, I'll admit Cuervo is more goth than metal, but... OK, you got me I have no excuse. Sorry
I don't give two shits how tough you think you are, if you run into this dude in an alley after a Brujeria show in Monterrey , you will need to buy new underoos, 'cuz you will shit your fucking pants. Damian 666 is pure evil. Those nasty keloid scars don't help eigther.
Ozz is as metal as they get. My theory is that between bible burnings, Glen Benton takes time off, flies to Mexico, puts on velvet pants, paints his face blue, and rubs up on sweaty dudes in the ring.
This is El Pancho. He might not look very metal, but he’s wearing bullet belts and that’s pretty fucking metal in my book of things that are metal.
Cibernetico looks like the singer of a German thrash band in the 80’s. Minus the gay contact lens in his left eye, of course. To complete the German thrasher look, he may wanna borrow El Pancho's bullet belts and put some pants on. Preferibly tight faded jeans. But here's more Cibenetico for you:
Hey, Pedro, ManOwar called, they want their homo-erotic look back.
This lady from Jalisco’s wrestling name is Dark Angel. I thought I’d throw he in here just for Gene Hoglan's Balls.
Here’s a pretty lady. This lovely beauty is named Diabolica. Pretty metal name, that’s for sure. Plus, she’s hefty and reminds me of my first girlfriend, who had a Benediction tape and wore a Sepultura T-shirt.
This gentleman is Halloween. Of course it would be WAY more metal had his name been Helloween, but I’ll take Halloween. Unfortunately Halloween suffers from Rob Flynn's Disease. Note the multi-colored braids and cut-off shorts. He’s also wearing an anti-drug tee. Sorry, hermano, you are a poser-o!
Arguably this ‘muchacho’ is the most metal of all wrestlers in Mexico. Why? His fucking name is Heavy Metal, that’s why! He’s basically a poor man’s Glen Danzig. Which is pretty bad considering that Danzig is a poor man’s… I don’t know what, but you know what I mean. Heavy Metal’s got an Apple sticker on his axe, which is not very metal, but he’s got a scorpion tattooed on his chest, which is WAY metal! Actually all his tatts are pretty brutal. By brutal I mean shitty.
Jerry Estrada tried out for Stryper in ’87 and upon rejection he turned to his first love: looking gay by wearing one cross earring and fringe. Oh, and he also started wrestling in Mexico.
The gimmick of Los Porros (loosely translated The College Jocks) is obviously lost in translation. Maybe it was lost way before anyone cared to translate it. I just thought they looked like the Gothic Slam reunion in 2013.
Maybe Finland's Lordi (the worst fucking band in history) are huge in Mexico. I don’t know but they sure as hell left their footprint in Mexican wrestling. Check out these guys:
Los Vipers
Los Cabernicolas
Los Rudos de la Galaxia (maybe a little Ace Frehley circa '83 influence in there?)
In case you forgot what they look like, here’s Lordi (the worst fucking band in history, did I already say that?):
I’m not sure if these guys are exactly metal, but Monster and Chucky are pretty fucking scary. By scary I mean pathetic. In more ways than one. Monster looks like a budget version of the Crimson Ghost with a green wig. Like so many other things in this post, Chucky’s just plain creepy. Oh, yeah, midgets rule.
Mister Aguila looks like a young Max Cavalera. This is the kind of friends I would have given my right arm for, when I was a teen. This guy just looks metal. His pants are ripped by the crotch. Watch out ladies!
I’m not sure WTF is going on here. I think KISS threw up in Mexico in '85 and the barf took shape, came to life and turned into the Night Queens. Great name, amigos! The one guy is REALLY into keeping his identity a secret (I would too if I was in this freak show), so he wears a mask over his make-up. Nice.
This dude’s name is Nitro. That alone is metal. Add to that the skulls in his pants and we got one metal Mexican.
I think Sangre Chicana is a lost member of Testament and Joey DeMaio’s younger brother.
Do I have to even explain why Perro Terrible is metal as shit? What I’d like an explanation on is the “brick wall” and why the audience is sitting on the floor.
The reason Tormenta is on the post is ‘cuz her name reminds me of “Tormenta” Ventor of Kreator.
The following wrestlers might not be super-duper metal, but I think they are worth highlighting for pure comedy value:
These guys’ gimmick is that they are American. So, obviously, so everyone hates them. Their name is The Beauty and The Beast… but who’s who?
Trio Fantasia is very disturbing. Grown men dressed with tight fitting clothes to attract young children. No wonder Mexico is still considered a "developing" country.
La Diva, has to be the awesomest female wrestler in Mexico. Look at her! Her finishing move: The Sitdown Splash. I’m sure you can imagine what it is… yeah she sits on her oponent’s face. That's a lot of woman. Too many tacos and burrrrrritos, girl!
Please meet Ke Monito (loose translation: "What a Little Monkey". That’s not a joke) He’s 2’7” and a clear example of why Mexican Lucha will always be better than any sad attempts by Americans to make greased-up muscle douche-bags with long hair be entertaining. Here's Ke Monito in “action”. Enjoy!
I know I said this post wasn't about wrestling, but I couldn't leave without sharing this video with you guys. Highlights of Japanese and Mexican wrestlers. I know this is not very metal, but some of these fuckers are amazing.
Call me elitist, but when I think of all the types of upbringings that could contribute to someone getting deeply into metal...growing up in a mansion in the Hollywood hills doesn't exactly come to mind. Yes, this is indeed Nicolas Cage's son, and his band Eyes Of Noctum will be putting out an album in early 2009. Watch the video below and you'll see a future stage banter all-star in the making. I think he took lessons in stage banter at a wrestling school, and his look is basically a complete lift from Phil Anselmo's black metal years, which itself was a stolen look from more legit black metalers. As such, this kid's entire life and look amounts to a game of black metal telephone...and by the time things got to him, they were sadly distorted. I mean just look at all those damn rings on his fingers. The guy is like the pseudo-black metal Liberace.
Also, note that rather than giving himself a metal name, he uses his "real" name....Weston Cage. I say "real" because Cage is a last name his father made up early in his life as an actor in order to not be automatically recognized as being Francis Ford Coppola's nephew. Weston, seems to have no issue with this. Still, I'm sure he wishes his dad had given him a cool first name like "Satano-Destructo"...why not? He just named his last kid Kal-El.
I think its nice that his parents paid for him to get that chinese hair straightening. Also note that at the end of the video, he gets in a limo with his mom. Very metal.
This is what happens when your parents pay to have your publicity photo taken. Evil, yet brooding and sexy. Nice mix champ.
When you name your band a brutal name like "GUILLOTINE" you run the risk of someone else, somewhere else thinking of the same name for their awesome band. I guess that's the price you pay for lacking a shred of originality. In honor of our motto (which all MI staffers have tattooed somewhere in their bodies) I did some research and found a few Guillotines out there. But which is the best Guillotine? Here's what I found.
Like I needed any more reasons to think Sacramento is the worst city in America (second would have to be Greensboro, NC), here come these assbags. Is the bass player wearing a trench coat or was he getting a hair cut right before practice? "Thanks for the haircut, Kayleen. Sorry, I don't have time to take off the faux-silk robe, I gotta get to practice! ... Oh, no we're still practicing at grannie's. She hates that Exploited poster I put up in the living room every time we practice. Her maid is Mexican, so, yeah, I use her flag to cover my 4x12." They have a song up on their myspace page (they got 75 fans, mostly grannie's friends, I'm sure). I'll save you the pain, it's as bad as the band looks. They recorded it using gramma's tape recorder. Hey, they need a drummer, so if you wanna relocate to Sac, go for it. Judging by what I heard, knowing how to play drums is optional.
These dbags are actually "Guillotined." They label themselves as "black metal." Dude, my super is more evil than these turds and he plays in a Journey cover-band, no joke. These kids are from Illinois and are horrible. I mean terrible. But that's all I'm gonna say about these dudes, my mom always told me it was wrong to make fun of the mentally retarded.
Dammit I'm gonna run out of insults and I'm only to #3. Teenagers are plain creepy. Period. I want them all to die. This dude's myspace title is "Nothing is Everything." Yeah, that's how deep this fucker is. The music is your average run of the mill bucket-of-shit Casio keyboard electronic waste of time. He needs to stop making crappy "music", take care of that mole on his face and bring me that bag of Chippers. I'm hungry. I wonder if everyone in McKinney, Texas is this retarded.
This Guillotine's from New Delhi, but I really can't make fun of them. I could not find any of their tunes and the photo looks pretty normal. Well, the one dude's got a sweet axe. The other guy's got rad cow-lick, which in India is like being kissed by the Virgin fucken' Mary. Maybe the drummer shouldn't have taken the photo in their parents' Indian restaurant.
"Holla't me playa'!" I love it when I can use the "appropriation of black culture" tag! MC Guillotine is from North Carolina. I guess they haven't heard of cellphones down there. Do they even have electricity? Maybe he's so broke he just hasn't payed his April phone bill. Here's a line from his myspace: "WE WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR THE PRAYERS AND PHONE CALLS FOR SHAYTON AKA GUILLOTINE. HE IS RECOVERING FROM A CAR ACCIDENT THAT LEFT HIM WITH A BROKEN LEG." Is that sad or funny? I'm not sure.
I didn't even look to see where these posers are from. They all have short hair and got a chick in the audience? They might as well be from Fruitville, Gaytucky. Emofags, punch yourselves in the face...NOW!
Giljotina means Guillotine in Slovenian. I wonder how say "broken cymbal" or "put some pants on" in Slovenian
OK, out of all the Guillotines on this post, this LA outfit is the only one signed to a real label. That is the REAL cover of their record. WOW! The cover belongs in one of Sergeant D's 'Great Moments in Art History' posts. Unfortunately for all of us at MI, these geniuses have split-up. We are all wearing black armbands around the office today. We are only left with this review of their 1989 Full-length "Bring Down the Curtain": "There’s a sticker on the front cover that totes some guy named Mark Senasac as the producer. After one side of this nine-songer, it’s apparent that's all the record has going for it, and the production is hardly anything to parade around town with." Ouch.
"Hey dudes, guess what? My step-dad is moving the grill so we can practice in the dock! The only thing is that Anthony has to use the bags of Kingsford to stop his bass drum from sliding and scratching the deck." These imbeciles list their lyrical themes as: Fantasy, Fate, and Norway. I'm not kidding. Do they have a song about how Norway's rugged coastline is broken by massive fjords and thousands of islands and stretches over 2,500 km?
Speaking of Scandinavia, this Guillotine are from Umeå, Sweden. They are pretty damn good old school thrash. Check out their names: Snake, Spider and Cobra. Ex-member Rat. You can't make this shit up. Their future members might include Bat, Gecko and Ocelot. In the photo, looks like Spider (rocking a Popeye shirt?) just sneezed and Cobra looks sad. Why is Cobra sad? This is what I got from their website: "...drummer Cobra was never a real member. He was asked to join the band for a photo shoot. Although he claims he can play the drums, he was never equipped with the skills or know-how to play in a serious band. I'm telling you, you can't make this shit up!
These dudes from Santo Andre in Brazil are the hands-down winners! Look at them! They got the mark of true metalheads: awesome long hair, slightly overweight and TONS of patches on denim vests (not to mention their sweatpants)!!! Good patches, too. I spot Slayer, Possessed, Sodom, Motorhead, Anthrax and Dark Angel. If I'd kept attaching patches to my denim jacket past 1993, it'd probably look like this by now. Too bad I'm a fucking poser, 'cuz these cats look all the rage! But it's not all looks, their names are brutal as shit, too: Rene Iron Hell, Marcelo Destructor and Angelo of Death. Plus former members Bruno Mad Butcher and Viviane Possessed. Their music is pretty good, too. They have a ragin' tune called Sexthrash and it kills. There's nothing about these dudes that isn't fucking metal. Congrats playas, you win!
Unable to make car payments, Kerry King has been forced to take the occasional baby sitting job as of late. Aside from providing Kerry with some extra pocket change, it has sent a clear sign to his wife that he's finally ready to settle down, stop acting like a douche, and make some babies. He'll probably keep wearing huge camo pants, but at least it's a start.
No matter how awesome rednecks in Kansas think Tom is, his daughter still cries in embarrassment when forced to be seen with her aging dad.
