When awesome bands make shitty records

Many years ago I interviewed Brian Baker, who you may know from such bands as Minor Threat, The Meatmen, Bad Religion, and Dag Nasty. I asked him how it happened that even though Dag Nasty was such a great band, they wrote some absolutely fucking terrible songs. His answer was, "Hey, you can't win 'em all," which I thought was pretty insightful. Nobody bats 1.000, and even the best bands go wrong from time to time. Here are some examples of just that...

There is a clear, positive correlation between the passage of time and Suicidal Tendencies being shitty. Note the inflection points at the release of extra shitty albums.

Suicidal Tendencies - The Art of Rebellion
OK, to be fair this is more of an example of shark jumping than an aberration or outlier. Any way you slice it, though, this record fucking sucks like crazy. I mean I liked "Lights Camera Revolution" when it came out, but this was a dealbreaker. Even though it was kind of gay and crappy too, it had some great songs like "You Can't Bring Me Down" and "Lost Again." Then Mike Muir got too far up his own ass and tried to be an artist or whatever. I don't mean to be the "I only like the demo/first album" guy, because those people are the worst, but Suicidal is really the perfect example of a band that just gets worse with every album.

What is this shit?! Where did the NOT! banner and bermuda shorts go?! In the words of Discharge, "why why why why why"?

Anthrax - The Sound of White Noise
Remember the part in Lords of Chaos where one of the Norwegian BM dorks is talking about how he saw a picture of some band "wearing jogging suits and riding skateboards" and got very angry and confused? I'm pretty sure he was talking about Anthrax, and I can only imagine how difficult it would be for some Scandinavian hick to understand the nuances of five Jews from Queens imitating Iron Maiden, Agnostic Front, and Public Enemy all at once (by the way, my father is from Norway, so I have a bit of Scandinavian hayseed in my veins). But that's why we loved Anthrax: their whimsical, fun loving brand of thrash made you forget your troubles and whisked you away to a magical land where the streets were paved with mosh riffs.

In any case, a lot of people thought Persistence of Time was the beginning of the end for Anthrax, but I disagree. I thought PoT was pretty great. TSOWN is when Anthrax officially began their shockingly rapid descent into a state that would make being a laughingstock positively dignified by comparison. Why did they get rid of Joey and start writing lame, boring songs about fucking ski lodges or whatever? What happened to the jogging suits and skateboards? Why not just urinate on the sodomized corpse of everything your once-great band stood for?! Arggghhh!

At this point they were barely even phoning it in.

S.O.D. - Bigger Than The Devil
Obviously I am a big SOD fan. When I discovered them in 1991 or so, it was as though I was Christopher Columbus, piercing the fog to reveal the pristine shores of a whole new world before me, full of riches the likes of which even the most avaricious man could only dream of! Also, it was the closest thing to wigger slam that existed back then, so needless to say I was happier than a pig in shit.

Apparently they blew their load with "Speak English or Die," though, because SOD became one of the most absolutely wretched bands to ever disgrace the planet quite shortly after releasing it. They turned into basically the thrash metal version of Weird Al, even sinking so low as to write cringeworthy novelty/parody songs like "Seasoning The Obese" and "Celtic Frosted Flakes" on their 1998 album "Bigger Than The Devil." It's not just bad, it's awful on a level rarely approached by mere mortals. You have to scour YouTube for clips of John Cena rapping aggressively at Brock Lesnar before you come close to these levels of douchebaggery.

I am about to show you something so horrible that I must warn you before you go any further. Do not scroll down if you have a heart condition, are prone to fainting, or if you are eating. It is a spectacle so hideous that even the dark and twisted mind of HP Lovecraft could not have spawned it; even the slimy tentacles of Cthulu cannot inspire revulsion such as the following video can. With that warning in hand, click at your own risk! Recoil in horror at the atrocities that are birthed upon the world when Billy Milano listens to The Offspring too much!!



What other awesome bands made a shitty record?
As always, it is now your turn. There are many more great bands who put out crap, please help us list every single one of them!

Glen Benton—New Chiquita Banana Spokesperson

If anyone ever asks me again why I think metal today sucks, and why I think back on the early 90s so fondly, I will show them this picture.

Grindcore bands: Why even bother with songs?

With bands like Praparation H, Mortician, Meatshits, or Gut, sometimes you have to listen to a full minute of porn or horror movie samples before you get to the actual song, which is only 1 second of noise. It was funny in 1991, but it got old a long time ago. So I was thinking, why not just do away with the songs altogether and just make a whole album of intros. With the exception of the old masters like 7MON, Nuclear Death, Ulcerous Phlgem, and so forth, grindcore is a wretched, shitty genre anyway, so I can't imagine anybody will complain that there isn't any "music."

That said, I think it is safe to say that the entire porn and horror genres have been stripped bare of samples (thanks to the bands on Razorback, Wild Rags, and zillions of third-world, cassette-only labels). Here are some thoughts on new genres to exploit:

Romantic comedy
I love anything with Ryan Reynolds or Hugh Grant in it! Especially Hugh Grant! I literally laughed so hard I was crying uncontrollably and my stomach was in pain during Bridget Jones 2. One great sample would be from Bridget Jones 1 where she tries to impress him by saying, "Isn't it terrible what they're doing in Chechnya?" and Hugh Grant says, "Oh Jones, I don't give a fuck!"


Historical fiction
These movies usually have lots of horses, crying, and sheer fabric in them. They're not really my cup of tea, but it would certainly be an interesting change of pace for the next Anal Blast album to feature samples from Atonement, King Arthur or Little Women. The one good thing is that these movies sometimes have super hot chicks in them like Keara Knightly and Winona Ryder (ask Lucho Metales about her). Sometimes the chicks will show their tits in them, too, and it's cool because it's art.

Movies with Jason Statham
Basically if Jason Statham is in a movie, you can guarantee it will be fucking awesome! Both Transporter movies, Crank, the Bank Job, the guy is a genius. He's tough but sensitive, funny but cool, and has a black belt in body karate! I definitely think him and I could be buds, and some of his lines would be perfect for a wigger slam record.


Taught political thrillers
Next to romantic comedies, this might be my favorite genre. Unlike punk rockers, metal bands are patriotic and know why America is great. So perhaps some clips from Shooter or The Bourne Identity would be a nice fit. Grindcore bands can be a little on lefty side, so this could be a stretch... but I just wanted to put it out there.

Documentaries
I would love to hear the Meatshits use some samples from Nova, or perhaps "A Brief History of Time." I mean a band like Oxiplegatz, Origin or Cynic would have no problem finding a place for some stuff about quantum physics. But what would really be great is to invade the Razorback vaults and replace all the samples on the Lord Gore or Dead records with samples from that stupid spelling bee movie or Infamy.

Great moments in art history: Sadus

Most people feel that art can be hard to understand. That's because most art is in fact hard to understand. Consider the Yale art student who, as has been widely reported, did a nine-month art project where she:

"... artificially inseminated herself 'as often as possible' while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages"

While the thought of such an undertaking would surely cheer up Chris Barnes and other Cannibal Corpse members (past and present), most of us are left scratching our heads, asking "is that art?" If you find yourself asking such a question, I present to you the cover for the Sadus album "Illusions", a piece of art so direct that it singlehandedly changes every viewers take on art. Unlike complicated artistic statements that require substantial reading to understand the intended meaning....this cover is exactly what you think it is. This artistic masterpiece is:

A long-haired viking skull (who is a devout christian, and enjoys fashion accessories such as crowns) is ingesting numerous skulls that come in peacock feather-like droplets, stemming from a tunnel. The tunnel is guarded by a rivitted keyhole that holds saturn, the sun, small asteroids and a UFO, which is itself rooted to a human brain that is held by the skull's hair. Could it be any simpler?

Though I have just spoken highly of the very direct nature of this piece, let me also point out that all great art makes references (however subtle) to other pieces of art, as well as film, music and culture in general. For example



The simplicity, Asian overtones (more on that later), black background, use of a single accent color, as well as the one strong vertical element (the purple type in the Sadus record, and the dress in the other) makes an obvious reference to Steely Dan's "Aja" cover. Not too unusual, when you think of it. While Sadus was not known for having any Jazz or Fusion influences, Steve Digiorgio played in Death as well, along with Paul and Sean from Cynic. Cynic loved their Fusion and Jazz. See, it all makes sense.


The skull's crown reference's Wonder Woman's own golden fashion accessory. What seems at first like an unusual artistic reference, is in fact understandable. The dudes in Sadus were horny, metal losers. Loneliness makes men do stupid things, like putting Wonder Woman's crown on an otherwise evil skull.




Another unusual reference is the cosmic sea that is held within the riveted keyhole, an obvious homage to the work of the astronomer and astrochemist Carl Sagan, and his book/TV series Cosmos. Again, this may seem like an odd choice at first, but consider the following. Steve Digiorgio played bass in Sadus, but he also played in Death. Death had a song called "Cosmic Sea"*. You must also remember that during the sessions for that Death album, Steve played with Paul and Sean from Cynic. Cynic had a song named "Celestial Voyage" in their album Focus. Do I have to spell this stuff out for you guys? Sheesh.

*Thanks to a kind reader for reminding me about this song. How I forgot it, I will never know. I'm very ashamed.

Like most other metalheads, the guys from Sadus grew up in very humble surroundings, and art was not a priority. More often than not, the art that hung on their homes growing up, was the picture that came with the frame. Nothing else can explain the use of a cornucopia in this cover.


What metalhead out there has seen a peacock and NOT wanted to include part their beautiful plumage on a record cover?



Like all American metal bands, Sadus ripped off German metal bands. Look at the reflections on the Sadus logo, they suggest that the logo was actually made of a reflective, perhaps metallic material. Sodom's logo was actually made out of polished steel. Sadus' was merely airbrushed to look that way. What we have here is another American band copying a German band, and not doing it well. Note the similarly retarded shapes of the letters.


The typography on this otherwise metal cover gives the album a slight, but refreshing Asian feel. Much like a cheesy Asian bandana on the forehead of an Italian kid from Long Island.


PS: On a closing note, I should mention that my brother and I often heard from a very reliable source that members of Sadus mailed weed to each other many times just to see if "it would work". Man, bored white trash dudes come up with some stupid things to do when they're sitting around watching Wonder Woman reruns.

"I know Satan, I know evil...for Nicolas Cage is my father"

Call me elitist, but when I think of all the types of upbringings that could contribute to someone getting deeply into metal...growing up in a mansion in the Hollywood hills doesn't exactly come to mind. Yes, this is indeed Nicolas Cage's son, and his band Eyes Of Noctum will be putting out an album in early 2009. Watch the video below and you'll see a future stage banter all-star in the making. I think he took lessons in stage banter at a wrestling school, and his look is basically a complete lift from Phil Anselmo's black metal years, which itself was a stolen look from more legit black metalers. As such, this kid's entire life and look amounts to a game of black metal telephone...and by the time things got to him, they were sadly distorted. I mean just look at all those damn rings on his fingers. The guy is like the pseudo-black metal Liberace.


Also, note that rather than giving himself a metal name, he uses his "real" name....Weston Cage. I say "real" because Cage is a last name his father made up early in his life as an actor in order to not be automatically recognized as being Francis Ford Coppola's nephew. Weston, seems to have no issue with this. Still, I'm sure he wishes his dad had given him a cool first name like "Satano-Destructo"...why not? He just named his last kid Kal-El.

I think its nice that his parents paid for him to get that chinese hair straightening. Also note that at the end of the video, he gets in a limo with his mom. Very metal.

This is what happens when your parents pay to have your publicity photo taken. Evil, yet brooding and sexy. Nice mix champ.

Metallica. The Band. The Muse.

As a musical act, Metallica's influence on the world of metal is undeniable. Just look around, and you'll see lots of terrible bands with sub-par Danish drummers, and bass players who play slap bass while crab-walking. Similarly, Metallica has become the art world's favorite muse. Just look at the fine pieces below, and you'll see why the artworld has seen a radical switch away from landscapes and still lives, and into portraits. Enjoy.


"Thinking It Over"
Depiction of James and Lars looking out towards the bay bridge, wondering what type of horrible snare sound they can use in the next album to make it suck worse. Never mind the fact that the artist got tired after drawing James and drew Lars as a mere ghost. This was on purpose. It's an homage to Lars and how he slows down dramatically and is unable to play Whiplash at even half-time.



"No, I'll Erase You"
There's some double entendre here. First, the title refers to that moment in Some Kind Of Monster when Lars' dad, after being asked to review some new songs, says "I think you should delete that". Deep inside, Lars knows his dad wishes he could have erased him when he was a baby. The title also references the erasing technique used to give the jacket's lapel its highlights. This artistic trick is a favorite amongst tenth graders.

"Oooooooh...Yeaaaaah! Womaaaahhhhn!"
This fine drawing depicts James at around the time that he began to look like the cowardly lion in the Wizard Of Oz. It speaks about his reservations and fears in life. His biggest fear? Angering tubby knob-twiddler Bob Rock, who has become a father figure in his life. Think about it, in the movie A Year And A Half In The Life Of Metallica, James actually takes his suggestion and does the stupid "ooooh...woman!" thing in the vocal booth. I bet Flemming Rasmussen never made him do that. Anyway, Remember how he started wearing a little wolf head on a necklace around that time? And what about the frets in his guitar that showed a wolf evolving to a man. Just thinking of it makes me feel embarrassed.


"No Life Till Leather"
It's not often that the worlds of art and fashion meet. When they do meet, they breed and they have this jacket as a child...and the whole world suffers. Is the person on the top right supposed to be a Cliff/Jason hybrid?


"None More Black"
Homage to the Black Album and its minimalist artwork. Simple, but strong...like Kirk's wig.


"This Is My Robot Voice"
A ficticious depiction of what would happen if Kirk were ever actually allowed to speak at any Metallica event. What would happen, it turns out, is that he'd put the mic up to his throat and do his best robot voice...and tell stories about his tiny bicycle skid mustache in the early 90s, as well as his wig collection. Come to think of it, that would probably be better than James' awful banter.


"Jump Out Of The Fire"
Barely recognizable as the boys from the Bay Area, this mural depicts the dynamic duo. The flames represent the ghost that haunts them...the memory of Cliff Burton, who they killed in Sweden and claimed was an accident. The reason for killing him? Two words: Bell Bottoms.

Paul Stanley—The Painter

Ambitious Kiss frontman Paul Stanley is not satisfied merely being the effeminate voice behind one of the leading joke bands to come out of New York in the last century. Oh no. Much like Michelangelo, who could easily turn his attention from sculpture, to poetry, to architecture and then to engineering...Paul Stanley has gone from sounding like a southern black woman on stage, to the world of painting. Apparently, Paul was not content merely sucking at one thing, and decided to widen his field of horrible artistic output. I present to you, the art of Paul Stanley. Please pay attention to the titles of these pieces, it will help you understand them.

Jester

I think this painting is about the duality of his role in Kiss. Court jester to the masses, the sad clown, always there to entertain. But who will entertain him?

Karma
This painting is about what Gene Simmons has coming to him for that remake of "Firestarter", and for selling two of his alarm clocks for thousands of dollars to his fans in that Kiss auction a few years back.

Infinite Solitude
Again, this piece touches on the contrast between the man on stage, the superstar...who must then go home alone and cry to himself about not being able to let the world know his true self. This piece's subtitle must be: "Ain't no closet big enough"

Burning Hand
This piece is a bit of an inside joke with the Kiss crew. The painting is about a sexual position developed by Paul himself during their 1982 Unasked tour. You don't even want to know the details. It has to do with Drano, Gene's wig, and a complex pulley system.

Kyoto
This piece is statement about the United States' unwillingness to enter into the Kyoto Treaty. Who said Paul was shallow and didn't understand politics? The song Hotter Than Hell was totally about global warming, Black Diamond was about the issue of diamond mining in Africa, and Love Gun was...well, okay. That one was a childish homage to his genitalia. But you get the point.


Want more? Check out this interview that Paul did at his gallery opening.

Sweet Drum Set Man!

A round-up of some of the sweetest drum sets on the interweb.


Dude gets mad credit for rocking a vest. So many musicians have really let their stage presence go these days. Lastly, what's with all the wood paneling? Is he playing inside a sauna? Based on his looks, his band must have a concept album about molesting kids.




He was teased endlessly in school, but he knew that if he could only show them (the girls in particular) his one talent in life...it would all change. Talent show came, mom helped pack the ridiculous set, and all the carpet scraps, and the pink tambourine (by the hi-hat)...but nothing changed. Actually, things got worse. They laughed, and laughed and laughed. And they kept on laughing all the way to graduation day when (as he received his diploma) someone threw a pink tambourine at him, which knocked his glasses and remaining self-esteem off.





I like that metal guys aren't afraid of chair-rail height wallpaper borders, or tasteful window treatments. Oh, nice brass light fixture also. Very classy touch. Future societies will use pictures of guys like this (in homes like this) in textbooks in order to study what a quintessential creepy white dude was all about. In that textbook there will be at least one paragraph about how hesher's parents love dark green carpeting and matching drapes.




"Baby I can't clean the kitchen today, I told you I'm doing my photoshoot, that's why I need my nice sweatpants and boots. I told you about this a week ago! Jason's gonna' be here in twenty minutes to take the pictures. Also, where did you put my huge drumsticks? I need those baby! Come on!"




This guy is all about compromise. Stupid, huge kit...but nice Beatles/vintage finish on it. Similarly, he traded his balls to his wife to let her decorate the house like a godamned retirement home. She must have spent a fortune at the fake plant store.




For real, what is that tiny tambourine/roto-tom between his two center toms for? Is he playing in a Salsa/Death metal fusion band that he needs FOUR timbales? Note the black cymbal on the left and the Axis pedals. Axis, what else?




"Dude, did you get the gong in the shot? It's very important. I put on my nice sweatpants and boots for this shoot. I want it right!" Just so you know, a gong that size can cost about a grand. I guess that's where all the money went...that's why he ended up wearing a black turtleneck from Big Lots.




What I love about musicians is their financial irresponsibility and gusto. This fat load is in a Metallica cover band...but he goes ahead and gets a 7-piece Spaun kit that must cost about 5-7 grand. Why not, they could hit it big and...oh wait. No, they'll never hit it big. They're a Metallica cover band.

Iron Maiden Fans—Impossible to contian by the bounds of musical standards, age, or lack of musical skills

A "manualist" plays Aces High with his, well, his hands. I thought being a "manualist" was something your creepy uncle could be convicted of. Turns out it's just something that creepy Italian men from Jersey (who tell people they were extras in The Sopranos) do when they're home alone, while sitting on their classy camouflage furniture.




This guy's vocal range is about as deep as spit on a rock. He's no Anton Maiden, but still. Much respect.





Who plays the harp? Who the hell plays Maiden on the harp? This guy. What a winner. I'm sure his parents are thrilled that they spent 2 G's on a godamn harp.





I know that Gauchos are now old news, everyone has seen these kids play all the metal jams, but this roundup would not be complete without them. Their sister doing back ups is the best part.

Great moments in art history: Broken Hope

I remember nearly falling asleep while Broken Hope played at the Milwakee Metal Fest one year. We were all waiting for Suffocation, but Broken Hope had to play first. Damn it. Much has been made of how insanely generic they were/are, but one thing that can't be disputed is their unbelievable taste in cover artwork.

It was around the early 90's that many bands switched from using the preferred media of airbrushing, to oil paint for their artwork. Broken Hope's "Swamped In Gore" is typical of what some may call the second wave in death metal oil painting cover art.

Please note the following:

1. A green chess board? Huh? I'm happy that the guy learned how to use perspective and all..but what is the message? Is life one big game? I'm confused as hell.

2. Why are the two eyeballs (with tails) being propped up by toothpicks? They remind me of these little hours dourves my mom used to make for guests. Damn, now I'm hungry.

3. Why is the weird retarded dead guy just floating around? I think this is like the Matrix or something. A Matrix of generic death metal where retarded dead people float around looking for fancy snack eyeballs on toothpicks? Maybe. But what about the chess board?

4. Why does the retarded dead guy have a large cartoon-style magnet on his head/brain? Why is it pointing towards the band logo? Dan Seagrave could have done such a better job. Just look at the blood on the dude's ribs. It's all thick, like jelly.

5. Why are there sesame seeds chasing the retarded guy's ear? Damn, I'm getting hungry again.

6. Why is a skeleton guy creeping up behind the retarded guy, lurking in the shadows? That skeleton guy is up to no good retarded dead guy! You better watch out!

7. The laughing skull with fire around it (a Ghost Rider reference?) is clearly the one thing that the dude spent the most time on. By the time he had paint the eyeballs, he was all "man, the skull rules...I'm not getting paid enough to give every part of this painting my A-game." It's pretty much how the guy that did the Death Angel "Act III" cover spent all that time on the stage and curtains that by the time it came to painting the people he just said "ah...whatever...they can look like crappy statues." To read more about that cover, go here.

What will satisfy me???!!!!!!

I am not sure how many people do this, but have you ever seen something so ridiculous that then something else pops into your head and just kind of combines with the first thing? Then you are left thinking "Man, I could just combine those things via Photoshop and it would be awesome!"

This image of Gorgoroth made me do that.

And here is what I have combined.

Retroview: Classic 1990s generic death metal comps

As we have discussed before, it is without a doubt that the 1990s were an incredible time for death metal. Especially if you liked an endless stream of albums full of clicky bass drums and cookie-cutter riffs topped off with Wes Benscoter and Dan Seagrave covers. And that's definitely what you got when you purchased one of the seminal death metal compilations of the 1990s. Finally, it should be noted that we are reviewing the cassette versions of all these compilations, for those of you who are gaywads that pride yourself on pointing out that Dr. And The Crippens weren't on the Japan-only double 10" flexi version of Grindcrusher or whatever. I hope you get hit by a meteor.

Please leave comments on your personal highs, lows, and WTFs for the albums, and remind us of what other generic 90s death metal comps we missed.




At Death's Door: A Collection of Brutal Death Metal
I was going to make fun of this one but after looking at the track listing again, it's actually pretty sweet and generally devoid of crap or novelty bands, especially considering it's from 1990, making it the earliest of all these comps.

Highs: Believer! I love this band so much even though they're Jesus freaks. I'd go so far as to say they might be the best thrash band of all time. Seriously. I love both their albums, especially the one that sounds exactly like Earth Crisis. Also, one of the better Deicide songs.

Lows: Malevolent Creation, yuck! I can't think of anything even slightly notable about that band. Well, except for that one song... you know... that one.

WTF: For a good 2 years or so, I thought Deicide were called "Decide." I am pretty sure I said a few times that Decide were the most brutal band ever.




Death Is Just The Beginning Vol I
The only other person at my high school that listened to death metal was this poser named Cam. He let me borrow this tape in 9th grade. It was my first introduction to Nuclear Blast, and as you might guess, I was not impressed. That shouldn't be a surprise considering this is the same label that thought people would pay money for Gorefest and Kataklysm records. If there's one thing we learned from Nuclear Blast bands, it's that Euros shouldn't be allowed to make music.

Highs: Uh... well, I actually really like one of the Righteous Pigs songs on here, which is funny because I can imagine even Wild Rags turning down their demo.

Lows: Master, Defecation, Atrocity, Disharmonic Orchestra... need I go on? Oof. Oh and don't forget Benediction! If you can make it through both sides of this tape, you're a braver man than I am.

WTF: There is someone out there on this planet who considers this the best album ever made. Think about it. There are 6 billion people on this motherfucker, one of them has to think this album tops them all. He probably also has severe head trauma.



Corporate Death
Relapse these days is a truly awful label. Not as bad as Earache I guess, but who is. They mostly put out beard metal and hardcore with not an Exit-13 record to be found, it's bullshit. But back in the early 90s, they were pretty sweet because they put out lots of awesome American death metal, such as this comp.

Highs: Suffocation "Human Waste." This completely knocked my dick in the dirt when I first heard it and began my decades-long love affair with wigger slam metal. Also, back then Relapse had the balls to put out weird shit like Candiru and Convulse, which I still like a lot. OK, that's not true, but it was still cool.

Lows: Mortician. Ugh. Disrupt, one of the worst bands ever that just wouldn't quit. General Surgery, the epitome of forgettable death metal.

WTF: At the time, I didn't really get that the whole "corporate" theme was a joke. But I knew Relapse was a huge label because they had color sleeves for their 7"s, so I wasn't surprised that they could afford the building on the cover for their headquarters.




Grindcrusher
In retrospect, most of the albums in the Earache catalog are complete garbage, although at the time they seemed like the best label ever. This is certainly no exception. For the most part this was fourth-string European bands that were deservedly unknown. However, there are a number of seminal tracks that cannot be dismissed.

Highs: Fucking CHAPEL OF GHOULS, one of the top 3 death metal songs ever written (the other 2 are "The End Complete" and "Hammer Smashed Face"). Unseen Terror, the finest Garfield-based grindcore band ever. This was the first time I heard Nocturnus!!

Lows: There are so many. Godflesh, Sore Throat, Mighty Force... but the worst is probably Cadaver. Jesus Christ that band is terrible. Nothing is worse than generic Euro 90s death metal.

WTF: When I was 14, I thought Lawnmower Deth was a really good band.