What will they think of next: Gut invents Electro pornogrind

I pretty much hate "grindcore" these days, but back in the day I used to listen to a lot of it, especially sleazy gore/pornogrind like Hemdale, Last Days of Humanity, Meat Shits, Dead, and of course the masters of the genre, Gut. I have mentioned them in previous posts, but I think it's time for us to have a more in-depth discussion about their unique brand of grindcore.

Gut were always pretty gross and over the top, never failing to shock with things like the cover of "Fistful of Sperm," which featured a dude's hand holding his cummy dick (lucky for you, I couldn't find a picture). But let's be honest, we've all seen a million gnarly porn and gore covers, so at this point it's pretty hard for that sort of thing to elicit much more than a disinterested yawn. True to form, though, Gut managed to find a new way to shock: inventing ELECTRO PORNOGRIND!

Pornogrind
I will assume that most Metal Inquisition readers are familiar with pornogrind. If not, I will direct you to this older MI post on pornogrind that will tell you everything you need to know. Gut is often credited with inventing the genre, which is distinguished from regular grindcore by it's emphasis on mid-paced groove riffs rather than blasting. If you are interested in exploring more bands in this genre like Vulvectomy, Cock and Ball Torture, etc, check out this blog.

Another trademark is many, many porn samples used as intros. Very, very long intros. If you have ever listened to Mortician you know what I'm talking about, only instead of 70s horror movies they're German porn flicks or whatever. I obviously have no fucking idea what they're saying if they're not in English, although I did once ask the German lady I worked with to translate a Gut intro for me. I gave her my headphones, and she listened intently for a few seconds. Then she got pale and said something like, "He wants her to act like a pig??" and gave them back.


Anyway, Gut wasn't content to sit back and rest on their laurels, basking in the adulation of critics who fawn over them for inventing this nearly universally-loved genre. They drew from another rich genre, electro, for inspiration.

OG electro pioneers Sleaze Boys' ode to, uh, Robocop? I'd buy that for a dollar!

Electro
I'm far from an expert on it, but I listen to a lot of dance music, especially electro and electrohouse. I don't really care about any specific artists or whatever because usually I only listen to it when I'm getting drunk with a girl. There's really nothing like it for putting them in the mood. It's like the Chappel Show sketch where as soon as a white person hears a guitar, they start dancing, only in this case as soon as hipster girls hears a rubbery synth line, her skinny jeans and American Apparel tube top melt right off her body. With Gut being huge creeps who watch too much porn, it makes perfect sense that they would also be big fans of the genre.

The soundtrack to getting fucked up and making out with hipster girls

Electro + Pornogrind = The Cumback
I love mash culture, don't you? Like when your friend from work or whatever is like "Dude yuo have to check out this new Radiohead/Simon Cowell yodeling in the bathtub mashup!!" and forces you to listen to every second of the excruciatingly long and dull extended version? "Fuck," you think, "where is my copy of 'Load'? I would rather snap the CD in half and jam one of the jagged pieces into my jugular vein than endure another second of this." But you don't, you just smile and nod politely and suffer through it. Then he asks you if you've ever seen this funny song about jizzing in your pants and you tell him you have to get back to work.

I am equal parts confused and aroused by this combination of imagery

In any case, electro pornogrind is like one of those mashups, only instead of being suicide-inducingly dorky, it's 100% awesome. Gut disappeared for a while, probably because one of the guys was busy living in his van and avoiding indecent exposure charges or something. We all figured they were gone, but they came back in 2006 with a new LP entitled "The Cumback," which also brought electro pornogrind into the world. Here are a few tracks from the album...

Pimps of Gore



This is a good place to start with electro pornogrind. It combines a beat guaranteed to get you on the dance floor (not unlike the plague that makes your booty move) with guttural goregrind vocals and a dope synth line! All it needs is a bangin' donk and it would be perfect. Oh, and they could get rid of the minute-long intro sample.

The Making of "The Cumback"


Would you like to throw away 9 minutes of your life? It doesn't seem like much, but I bet if someone put a gun in your mouth and asked what you would do to have 9 minutes more to live, you would do all kinds of fucked up shit to extend your life by the length of approximately 100 early Anal Cunt songs. But if you don't give a fuck and want to piss away 9 minutes, you can watch this video of Gut recording "The Cumback." I did. Twice.

Pimptro

This track showcases Ollie's microphone skills. It kind of reminds me of the corny MCs from 90s jungle songs that would be like "ALRIGHT YALL DIG THESE FUNKY CHUNES, REWIND SELECTAH!!" I seriously have no idea how I listened to that shit, it's intolerable to my ear now. Electrohouse is so much better, and drum n bass chicks usually had gnarly meth habits (not hot).

Gut on MySpace

A brief survey of pornogrind

To me, most grindcore sounds like tuneless shit played by retards that don't have two brain cells to rub together. Which is exactly what it is. If there is any genre of music that has lower barriers to entry, I haven't come across it (although, as one of our readers pointed out, bedroom black metal comes close). In spite of the fact that grindcore makes me want to jam sharp objects in my eardums post-haste, I have a real soft spot for it's kissing cousin, pornogrind. Unlike grindcore, which emphasizes playing garbage as fast as possible, pornogrind places a premium on groove and actual songwriting. Plus, I never get tired of porn sample intros. I'm far from an expert on the genre (and who really wants to be?), but here are some of my favorites:



Meatshits
The Meatshits were my introduction to pornogrind, and what an introduction! I bought "The Ecstasy of Death" at the Tower Records in Bellevue, Washington when I was in high school, and to this day it's one of my favorite records in the genre. I still think they have the best song titles, far better than more ironic peers like Anal Cunt. For example: ""Bullshit Lottery", "Let There Be Shit", "Bobbing For Stools", "Cancerous Foreskin", "Dead Fag Quilt", and so on. (At the risk of being PC, I want to be perfectly clear that I am completely laughing at, not with, this stuff) "Sniper At The Fag Parade" is the most jawdroppingly, subhumanly retarded/brilliant thing I've ever heard. It's literally like what your 12-year old, white trash neighbor with fetal alcohol syndrome and severe head trauma would come up with if you gave him a microphone and a 4-track. Basically, I love the Meatshits because they represent the absolute bottom of the barrel of the human race! Listening to them makes me feel like I should be wearing a helmet when I leave the house.

There are lots of other great things about the Meatshits, like how every record has a song or two where he raps over a drum machine and corny Casio-style keyboards, but I've already gone on for too long. I could literally write volumes about how much I love the Meatshits, but I'll leave it at that for now.

Here is a link to download almost all their 7"s.


Cock And Ball Torture
I am going to go out on a limb here and say that CBT have probably listened to Gut once or twice, because they sound almost exactly the same. That's definitely not a bad thing, though, and the world could certainly use more Gut tribute bands. The only real difference is that CBT aren't quite as funny/clever, and I think they use a pitchshifter, which I am kind of philosophically opposed to. But they have massive, moshtastic riffs and the super thick production on their records really puts them over the top. If you like Gut, definitely check out CBT! The video above is pretty good, I especially like the part with the Pope singing.



Gut
Man, I never get tired of YouTube videos that put grindcore songs over silly, mismatched footage! For example the part in this video with Hulk Hogan playing guitar at :24, solid gold. In any case, Gut are perhaps the originators of pornogrind as we know it today. The Meatshits were first, but they more or less just played noisecore with porn lyrics and samples. Gut were the first band that I know of to play the slow, groove-oriented style that defines the genre these days. I think they also pioneered the concept of writing odes to various adult actresses. I totally appreciate this idea, but I feel like their taste in porn chicks is a bit dated, perhaps betraying their age. For example, writing songs about Jenna Haze and Aurora Snow in 2006? Come on dudes, get with the times and write some jams about Eva Angelina, Cody Lane, or Audrey Bitoni. Shit, I'll even settle for Next Door Nikki. What would be some truly next level shit (to borrow their phrase) would be a collabo with Johnny from In The VIP!

Which brings me to the other thing that sets them apart: they have a strong wiggerish element. Needless to say, I love this. For example, the list of influences from their MySpace:

Impetigo, Kool Keith aka Dr. Doom aka Dr. Octagon, Cryptic Slaughter, Repulsion, Notorious B.I.G., G.G. Allin, Lord Of Putrefaction, Macabre, Ol´ Dirty Bastard, Detroit Grand Phubas, old Xysma, Ulcerous Phlegm, very old Demilich, Blowfly, Mike Jones, Gorilla Biscuits, Mehr Kohle Atzen, Interment, S.O.D., Blasphemy, Malediction, Necro, Skateboy P., Righteous Pigs, old KKS, old D.R.I., old Pungent Stench, old Celtic Frost, N.W.A., Gucci Crew II, Autopsy, Bobby Digital, Unseen Terror, old Carcass, Bun B...

On their newer records, they have some songs that are as much rap as they are metal (like "Gigolo Warfare"). It sounds like a terrible idea but I honestly think it's their best stuff! Other good rap songs include "How Low," "Three Handsome Guys" and "Next Level Shit." It's definitely an unlikely combination, but wigger-porno-rap-grind might be my favorite new genre of music. That said, I love wiggerish influences as much as anyone, but I have to draw the line at Bun B, Silkk The Shocker, and Ludacris! Yuck.

Anyhow, make sure you hop on their Myspace and check out their stuff, especially "Gigolo Warfare." If I had to pick a favorite pornogrind band, it would definitely be Gut. If I'm ever in Germany I want to hang out with these guys, they seem like a fun, chatty bunch! But what do I know, I'm listening to New Found Glory as I type this.

DEAD live at Obscene Extreme Festival 2005

Dead
Aside from having a very difficult-to-Google name, Dead is yet another German pornogrind band that's very much in the vein of Gut. Like CBT, they play extremely thick, groovy moshgrind with pit riffment to spare! They have particularly catchy songs, though, so if you like this style, you definitely won't go wrong with Dead.

Dead on Myspace

Grindcore bands: Why even bother with songs?

With bands like Praparation H, Mortician, Meatshits, or Gut, sometimes you have to listen to a full minute of porn or horror movie samples before you get to the actual song, which is only 1 second of noise. It was funny in 1991, but it got old a long time ago. So I was thinking, why not just do away with the songs altogether and just make a whole album of intros. With the exception of the old masters like 7MON, Nuclear Death, Ulcerous Phlgem, and so forth, grindcore is a wretched, shitty genre anyway, so I can't imagine anybody will complain that there isn't any "music."

That said, I think it is safe to say that the entire porn and horror genres have been stripped bare of samples (thanks to the bands on Razorback, Wild Rags, and zillions of third-world, cassette-only labels). Here are some thoughts on new genres to exploit:

Romantic comedy
I love anything with Ryan Reynolds or Hugh Grant in it! Especially Hugh Grant! I literally laughed so hard I was crying uncontrollably and my stomach was in pain during Bridget Jones 2. One great sample would be from Bridget Jones 1 where she tries to impress him by saying, "Isn't it terrible what they're doing in Chechnya?" and Hugh Grant says, "Oh Jones, I don't give a fuck!"


Historical fiction
These movies usually have lots of horses, crying, and sheer fabric in them. They're not really my cup of tea, but it would certainly be an interesting change of pace for the next Anal Blast album to feature samples from Atonement, King Arthur or Little Women. The one good thing is that these movies sometimes have super hot chicks in them like Keara Knightly and Winona Ryder (ask Lucho Metales about her). Sometimes the chicks will show their tits in them, too, and it's cool because it's art.

Movies with Jason Statham
Basically if Jason Statham is in a movie, you can guarantee it will be fucking awesome! Both Transporter movies, Crank, the Bank Job, the guy is a genius. He's tough but sensitive, funny but cool, and has a black belt in body karate! I definitely think him and I could be buds, and some of his lines would be perfect for a wigger slam record.


Taught political thrillers
Next to romantic comedies, this might be my favorite genre. Unlike punk rockers, metal bands are patriotic and know why America is great. So perhaps some clips from Shooter or The Bourne Identity would be a nice fit. Grindcore bands can be a little on lefty side, so this could be a stretch... but I just wanted to put it out there.

Documentaries
I would love to hear the Meatshits use some samples from Nova, or perhaps "A Brief History of Time." I mean a band like Oxiplegatz, Origin or Cynic would have no problem finding a place for some stuff about quantum physics. But what would really be great is to invade the Razorback vaults and replace all the samples on the Lord Gore or Dead records with samples from that stupid spelling bee movie or Infamy.