A couple months ago the Sarg forgot about neon t-shirts, scene haircuts, and emo crunk long enough to give a stirring tribute to New Jersey Death Metal legends Ripping Corpse. Today, I'd like to focus your attention on another equally underappreciated Garden State Death Metal band--Revenant. Revenant was formed back in 1986 in beautiful Bergenfield, New Jersey. They released three cassette demos and a 7" single throughout the late 80s (I've never heard any of them, but they're probably awesome. If you have mp3s of them, you should send them to me) and actually played their first show with Metal Inquisition favorites Mucky Pup! Just Like their Jersey bros in Ripping Corpse, Revenant released their only full length album in 1991 and they've never received the praise and respect they deserve.
Remember back when bands looked this awesome?
Prophecies of a Dying World--is one of the best death metal albums ever released, period! None of that overproduced, super technical, hyperfast modern death metal bullshit. Revenant is 100% old school death metal. Thick, thrashy riffs, jackhammer drumming, and nasty as fuck vocals. The production is perfect--heavy, but still clear enough to make out every cymbal hit. Think early Death, but heavier and more epic. The songs tend to be on the longer side for death metal with the shortest song coming in at just under 5 minutes and the longest one approaching the 8 minute mark. This would spell certain doom for most death metal bands, but Revenant never runs out of steam or ideas. They just continue to bring it with riff after awesome riff amounting to almost an hour long pummeling. If you're a fan of Ripping Corpse, old Immolation, and the like you'll lose your shit when you hear this album. I promise.
I bet this show was sick!
Unfortunately like Ripping Corpse, cover art was not Revenant's strong suit. Though it's not nearly as bad as the cover of Dreaming With the Dead, it's still pretty lame. I understand that Revenant was trying to convey an image of the titular dying world, but a photograph of a barren landscape with orange clouds and a pile of branches in the foreground just doesn't do this album justice. If you're going to go with a landscape you might as well use a Georgia O'Keeffe.
A foolproof way to piss off your neighbors!
Shortly after the release of Prophecies of a Dying World, Revenant parted ways with Nuclear Blast Records. They went on to release another 7" single as well as another demo, and in 1995 they completed their final recording--the Overman EP, which wasn't released until 2002. So as shitty bands like Cannibal Corpse and At the Gates rose to prominence in the death metal scene Revenant faded into obscurity. There's no justice in this word, just Metal Inquisition.
While touring Europe in support of Prophecies of a Dying World, Revenant shot a video for "The Unearthly." It was premiered on Headbanger's Ball in the spring of '92 and featured on the first Death...Is Just the Beginning compilation.
And here's a bonus live video of Revenant performing their hit song "The Unearthly."
I think I posted this before, but I'm too lazy to look through 400+ posts to find it. But when I was like 14, I got the "Corporate Death" compilation that Relapse put out and pretty much loved every song. That's how starved for metal I was back then, I was thrilled to listen to fucking Exit-13 and Convulse! Oh and I thought the pictures of their "headquarters" and boardroom were real (seriously, I did).
Of course, now I'm far too jaded to get excited about anything new (unless it's Forever The Sickest Kids or Gut doing rap songs). I'd rather just sit in my room and listen to Life of Agony and think about how bitter I am at the world. In any case, Relapse has always been kind to me since my zine days back in the mid 90s, so I thought we would give you the lowdown on some of their new releases. More to come in a future post, I can only review so much crap at once!
Mumakil - Behold the Failure I don't like grind, so I didn't listen to this album for more than about 45 seconds. If you are into grind I'm sure you will like this, it sounds like Nasum with pretty sick drumming that reminds me of the first Origin record. But since I really couldn't care less about the music, I'll base my judgment on how the members of the band look.
He's even playing an ESP! Page Hamilton should sue him for exploiting his likeness. He's trying to rock back and forth like in the video for "Unsung."
The guitarist looks like Page Hamilton circa 1992. I love Helmet, and I always thought it was cool that they dressed like dorks while everybody else was rocking either grunge gear or JNCOs and chain wallets. That said, this guy needs to get with the program and ditch the Dockers shorts (and the braided leather belt that comes free with them).
Look at his stubby, sausage-like fingers, ick.
Unfortunately the Page Hamilton clone is paired with a gross beardo on vocals. Whenever I see guys like this I always assume the band sounds like Isis, Drowningman, or Hara Kiri-style "beardeath" (thanks for that term, Mo). In any of those cases, DO NOT WANT. I imagine this guy going on tour, gorging himself at Arby's and just destroying the bathroom at the house they stay at after the show. Look, you can't help it if you're born thick, but do you have to make matters worse by growing a disgusting neck beard??
Inevitable End - The Severed Inception The cover made me think this band would sound like Damageplan, with some goatteed, shaven-headed fat guy singing with a terminal case of Robb Flynn's Disease. Or, since they're on Relapse, perhaps Tommy Victor's Disease.
I don't know the name for the terrible disease the singer suffers from, but he needs a doctor pronto!
Anyhow, I also only listened to this one for literally 10 seconds, but I think I got a pretty good idea of what to expect. Basically this is the sort of thing that would have given me a giant boner in 1999 or 2000 when I was super into Atheist, Cynic, (later) Broken Hope, Oppressor, Origin, Dillinger Escape Plan, and pretty much any other over-the-top-guitar-masturbation shredding technical death metal. Back then there weren't a ton of these bands around, so when they did come along it was pretty awesome. The exact opposite is true now, of course. Every 16 year old can shred his balls off, with the YouTube videos to prove it (it took me seriously like 4 seconds to find that, there are zillions more just like it).
Much like the athletes of today would wipe the floor with the guys from even 20 years ago, it's hilarious how amateurish and shitty the bands I grew up on sound today. I mean we thought Morbid Angel were amazing virtuosos, and even a B-level band that I've never heard of like Inevitable End can play rings around those guys without even trying. Of course, that doesn't mean I want to listen to them, but you know what I mean. Try listening to, say, Rottrevore these days. They seriously sound like something from a 10th grade talent show.
Anyhow, if you're into non-stop, balls-out shredding deathcore, you'll jizz over this for sure. I'll be jamming some Obituary if you need me.
16 - Bridges to Burn Now this is more like it!! There are few bands that I love more than 16 (along with their sister bands Despise You and Crom). I could write a review of it, but instead I'll just copy and paste an email I got from Gene Hoglan's Balls in which he mentioned it:
most porn stars don't make much, especially if you're a dude, but a top billing star like riley mason had to be making at least 5-10K a film. granted, that's still not that much money for sucking off and fucking random strangers, but i'm sure it's a lot more than she would have made had she stayed in north carolina, gone to community college, and worked at forever 21 in the local mall.
i have not seen adrenna lynn's butthole, but i would like to. the idea of tattooing your butthole is kind of brilliant. i don't even understand how it's possible, but i want to see it and i applaud her for going all out and making a real statement of individuality instead of just getting a shamrock on her pelvis.
i wasn't too into the new 16 album when i first heard it, but the more i listen to it the more i'm feeling it. there are few bands that can make the phrase "life sucks" sound so meaningful. i've also been listening to a lot of crowbar. there's nothing like overweight dirtbags telling you they've given you all they have to give over heavy as fuck riffs to help get you through those cold winter days.
you should definitely try to come out to REDACTED whenever you can. you're more than welcomed to crash at my place (i have a couch that folds out into a full-sized bed). we'll bro down like it's nobody's biz. we can watch the danzig home video, pound brews, chug some red bulls, blast some push-ups, and oogle hot babes. also, if you're not doing anything super bowl weekend REDACTED and i are driving out to REDACTED to watch the game. i think REDACTED might even be coming out. even if you don't care about football, it's worth it just for the spectacle. i was there when the steelers won the super bowl in '06 and it was fucking pandemonium.
Anyway, that's about all there is to say about 16. This record fucking rules. It's out now, and if you don't buy it you're a poser that's too happy. If you liked their old shit, this is just like it only with better production. There's nothing better to listen to when you're feeling old, bitter, broken-down and spiteful, which for me is pretty much 100% of the time!
Metal Hammer Magazine is as responsible for who I am, as my mother or ALF re-runs. I grew up in South America, you see, and when I was a kid, the only way to know what was going on in the world of Metal was through this shitty magazine. I say shitty because most of the articles were about Saxon, Scorpions and WASP. But there were a few, here and there, about Motorhead, Slayer and other cool bands like that. It was in the pages of this mag that I saw for the first time what Jeff Hanneman and King Diamond looked like. I got an awesome Kerry King poster in one issue. I still have it. The record review section was my favorite part of the magazine. I got to read about all these metal records. Living in the ass of the western world, I never thought I would get to hear most of them. Well, as things turned out, I moved to the US of A, and I did get a chance to own a few.
From 1986 until 1989 this magazine was my bible.
I don't remember what the review for Tankard's "Zombie Attack" said in a 1986 Metal Hammer, but the name of the band and the cover stuck with me. My friend Eduardo came to Florida on vacation in '88 and asked me to give him a list of good bands, so he could buy a few tapes. Tankard made the list, even tho I'd never heard them before. The cover to "Zombie Attack" was just cool. A housewife watching TV with Dracula, the Wolf Man, the Monster of Frankenstein, a skeleton and a Canadian Lumberjack? Classic! I don't know why, but it reminded me of something Anthrax would do. So, Eduardo came back with like 15 cassettes. None of them were for me, of course, but it felt like xmas! This dude brought back "Seventh Son", "Mad Butcher", "State of Euphoria" and of course "Zombie Attack" AND "Chemical Invasion". I must admit, at first I didn't love "Zombie Attack". It wasn't bad, but I guess I expected something heavier, something like Slayer. But, like any good Pauly Shore movie, it stayed with me until it became one of my favorites. Sorta like 'Bio-Dome', you know? If you haven't heard this classic, I can only describe it as a mixture between Cryptic Slaughter and Destruction with a little bit of Gang Green in there. Gerre's vocals are little more nasaly than in later albums and that might turn off some listeners, but the riffs are fucking catchy. The song "Empty Tankard" is a prime example of early euro crossover.
Tankard pretty much remained in the same vein (to this day, actually) in this record. The production is better and the songs have a few more changes, but remain pretty straight forward thrashy hardcory metal. It wasn't until I rediscovered this record recently that I realized how much Gerre's vocals remind me of Bill Crooks of Cryptic Slaughter. My only complaint about this record is the instrumental song "For A Thousand Beers". It has long and boring classic guitar intro. Something Exodus would do, except shittier. The rest of the song never really delivers. Just like 'Encino Man', The title track more than makes up for it, tho. It's an all-out thrash attack with an awesome build-up to a mid-tempo catchy riff that speeds up to thrash mayhem! Just like 'Son-in-Law'. It's my favorite Tankard song. It makes me want to drink beers and thrash in my bedroom until I pass out. Seriously, it does. After this record they actually did a flexi split single with Celtic Frost that came free with an issue of Metal Hammer in Germany. "Lucky" krauts got to listen to a hiss-ridden crappy CF song and a Tankard song that is WAY below their potential.
When we first got to the US, my brother and I would go to the Franklin Park Mall every chance we got and would hit the record store (Coconuts, I think?). We'd buy any tape that met any of the following 4 criteria: 1. A band we already knew, like Anthrax, Slayer, Maiden or Destruction. 2. A tape with an awesome cover from a band we'd never heard of, like DBC or Possessed. 3. A band whose video on HBB we liked, like Prong and Panic. 4. Bands that we'd heard of through Metal Hammer, like Sabbat, Acrophet, Atrocity, Motorhead, Acid Reign, Sodom, Kreator and Tankard. That's how we acquired "The Morning After". The cover, once again, is a classic! If I followed my gut when listening to Tankard, I'd drink tons of beer and Jack and thrash 'til I puked. This is what I'd look like "The Morning After"... This poor dude is HUNG OVER. He probaly feels like he just watched 'In the Army Now' over and over. He even stabbed his teddy bear over night, brah... That's serious beer drinking, German style. THAT'S HOW THEY ROLL, SON! Musically they stayed fast, thrashy and furious. You really can't tell the difference between these 2 records, which is great since they are so good. TMA maybe a bit faster over all and includes "Try Again", which is a pretty punky song with scream alongs. This is the song they probably did as an encore and had all the drunken fans onstage screaming. If they didn't they should have! The title track is great, too. It might as well be an Excel cover.
This record, I listened to the first time in the last few years. I was going through a sentimental metal revival and I downloaded it via Napster, when Napster was real. "Alien" has to be my favorite all around release by the German beer-drinking thrashers. It's probably their most 'famous' record. It's a 5 song EP. It's a total classic with songs like "666 Packs" and a new version of "Empty Tankard". The cover is, of course, awesome. A beer-drinking alien riding a magical fridge full of, you guessed it, beer. This alien dude became Tankard's Eddie and was in a bunch more covers to come.
I wonder how drunk this Russian dude was when he got this done. Very, very drunk, I hope. The dude with the Slayer shirt, is the Russian Jon Bon Jovi.
After "Alien" I lost touch with Tankard. One of those things, you know? People grow apart, I guess. I heard "The Meaning of Life" only once and I was happy to hear that it sounded like Tankard. The only reason I wanted to talk about this record is because the cover is simply brilliant. Not very metal, but I'd love to have the original art framed in my kitchen, or my laundry room (if I had one). The Pope, Mike Tyson and the German Prime Minister drinking beers in one table and Tankard's alien and mad scientist drinking Jack in another. Really fucking rad.
If you need any convincing why Tankard rulez, check out a list of things I got from their site, verbatim:
- We were reviewed in an English article as "Fat ugly German bastards", thus the self-ironic title for our live album "Fat, Ugly and Live"
- We never get any groupies. The audience is mainly comprised of fat dudes with smelly vests on.
- We never received any recognition from the city of Frankfurt or the beer industry for our contribution to mass alcohol consumption.
- Gerre fell asleep with 3.3 blood-alcohol during an interview on Music Box.
- We make fun of ManOwar on our song: "Sword held higher - who's the liar? - I have the beer of fire!"
Want more? Here's some other cool images I came across while researching for the post:
Well, what do you expect after singing about and drinking beer for 20 years?
Here's Gerre with some fan. Check out his vest! Hella cool patches, brah! Also notice the dude on the left wearing an OppressorT-shirt. Classic!
"Allo girrlz. My name iz Lex. I livez in Sbitzerland. I ab Tankard tattu und ein kool air-doo. Mine chazthairz iz also sexy. Pliz phone me."
Tankard in '85. These 2 photos make me feel like a poser. Even at the height of my metaldom I wasn't half as metal as these dudes. Notice the hand-made Tankard T-shirt (top left)
Hmmm... OK, buddy!
IMO, Tankard is one of the most underrated bands in 80's euro-thrash. They are WAY better than Running Wild and Mekong Delta. If you haven't given them a chance, don't. It's way too late, they'll sound like shit to you. If anyone has a few extra Euros (5 of them, actually) and feels like giving me a late birthday gift, here's what I want: A Tankard back-motherfuckin'-patch!
It's a challenging task indeed to attempt to to encapsulate the Iron Maiden show in New Jersey's Izod Arena in a single post. But overall, it's safe to say that the experience was grand, and Metal Inquisition staffers have put their thoughts together in this post for you, the reader. Yes there were some flaws (backdrops only? No huge mummy version of Eddie in a coffin behind Nicko?) but overall it was a satisfying experience. Here are some thoughts, observations and memories tied into the event.
Right as we came into the arena, I was amazed to see a guy with no forearms (just tiny, tiny hands at elbow level) throwing the horns and sticking his tongue out as his friends screamed "Maiden!" I knew this would be a memorable event.
Seeing a young kid, maybe 18 years old, with a very new-looking tattoo of the cover of Repulsion's "Horrified" was a breath of fresh air. If metal is still alive, it's alive within that kid. Sadly the kid looked like he had fetal alcohol syndrome...but beggars can't be choosers.
After the show ended, after drinking beer, and chanting "six, six, six, the number of the beast!" all the metalheads rushed to the Mrs Field's cookie stand by the door to buy warm cookies. Talk about reverting to their youth! It's odd to see a dude with an Overkill "Fuck You" t shirt run up to the cookie stand and say "two chocolate chip, and ... oooh oooh! Two oatmeal ones!"
As I expected, there was a large number of older fans that clearly had well paying jobs, and had (in a way) moved beyond their metal roots. The award for most together fan goes to the guy who cut us off as we drove into the parking lot, as he drove a new Lexus LS 600L. Driving a $100,000 car to a Maiden show is a nice choice indeed. I admire the guy for driving the same car that some of the band members he was going to see may have. Not to brag, but I remember doing the same thing back in the day. I drove my Ford Festiva to a Deicide show in the mid-90s, which I'm sure is what the Hoffman brothers were sharing at that point in their lives. Perhaps they still share that car. Lastly, allow me to point out that Festivas are great cars due to their "one key opens all" approach, by which I mean that the key to your Festiva will open nearly 80% of other Festivas. This is true, not safe, but true.
Celebrity sighting? Well, uh...sorta. Was that King Fowley and the guitar player from Deceased in front of me at the show? It totally was!
Security, being the usual uptight dopes that they are to metalheads (are they jealous of metal's free spirited attitude? I don't know), asked a guy in front of me to stop headbanging! I'm not even kidding! Dude was going crazy and getting WAY too into it. But still. Security dude shined his flashlight on him, and yelled at him to stop. What? It's Maiden man! Damn.
Dave Murray's hair looked like it died sometime during the Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son tour. I don't mean it all fell out...most of it is there, but it's dead, expired, kaput, out of order. Look at it in this picture, it looks exactly like the Cryptkeeper's hair, who was supposed to be a corpse! Even Eddie would be looking at him thinking "man, what about some conditioner?"
Jesus, Bruce...those are some pants! He looked like godamned Big Bird.
I know the Eddie-walking-on-stilts issue is a serious one for Maiden fans. You see, some fans get mad when you point out how awkward and cheap it looks. Is it cheesy? You bet. Does the guy in that outfit and stilts move awkwardly as hell, making for a comical moment of stupidity in the show? Yes. But would we all miss it if it weren't there? Yes. Hey, at least they're not busting out the weird dancing couple or Chewbacca from the "Number Of The Beast" video.
Photo by Heidi Coluzz
This concert had further proof for me that metal is indeed an equal opportunity sub-culture. Right as we came in, a fat midget (okay, okay... little person) was chillin', talking to his friends with a swagger normally reserved for top-of-the-pecking-order individuals in most sub-cultures. This guy was badass, talking about "some chick dude, I don't even remember who she was". I was amazed. Here was this lil' guy, wearing a vintage "Killers" t shirt talking about "some chick." I was happy for him, and for all of us. Metal, the great equalizer.
Note: Not actual midget sighted at Maiden show.
Though only shown quickly from time to time on the big screens on either side of the stage, Nicko's face has obviously gotten even more grotesque over the years. What happened to his nose? It looked like a pug was playing drums.
A sad, sad fact dawned on me while the audience rocked to "Fear of the Dark". I looked around and noticed there were a lot metal chicks. Most of them weren't that hot, but the point is that they were there with their dudes. Some guys out there ended up with metal chicks, but none of us did. We were an 8-dude sausage fest. I never thought about it, but NONE of my friends ended up with a kick-ass girl that wears rad Testament tees. All our significant others are pretty square and dull. What a bummer. I wish my lady had bad tattoos on the cleavage.
Most embarrassing moment of the evening: As Steve Harris played the first few notes of The Clairvoyant, I turned around and yelled "Fuck yeah, TAILGUNNER!" Uhm, I have no excuse, I confused a song from 7th Son with a song from No Prayer. I'm pretty lame, I know.
Opening for Maiden has to be a tough job. Who wants to see a band before Maiden? I paid my money, let me see what color spandex Harris is wearing NOW, dammit! Dude, Steve Harris' daughter's band opened for them. I don't even know where to start with this bunch of fucktards. Wow! They sucked... Every song was generic with terrible generic lyrics, generic riffs, generic solos... BARF! The one good thing is that they only played 5 songs. If they ever come to your town: RUN!
I don't know why, but where we were standing the sound wasn't that loud. So I could hear everyone around the singing. Ew! They all sounded terrible! "Hey, bro, just 'cuz you are wearing a Somewhere in Time tee and know the words, it does not mean you can carry a tune!" That's when I realized the guy in front of me was probably thinking the exact same thing. "I'm sorry, dude, I guess I should practice what I preach" Let me illustrate may point:
Moonchild is a fucking amazingly metal tune and I owe it my sore neck and throat.
We all know that Maiden are big soccer fans. I was aware that they were West Ham supporters, but they really took it to the max on this tour. Not only was Steve Harris wearing his WH wristbands and bass strap with the Hammers sticker, but Nicko's Whole drumset was WH colors. I think that's awesome. I wonder if Frodo hangs out with them <--Really, really obscure reference. Anyone?
As we have discussed before, it is without a doubt that the 1990s were an incredible time for death metal. Especially if you liked an endless stream of albums full of clicky bass drums and cookie-cutter riffs topped off with Wes Benscoter and Dan Seagrave covers. And that's definitely what you got when you purchased one of the seminal death metal compilations of the 1990s. Finally, it should be noted that we are reviewing the cassette versions of all these compilations, for those of you who are gaywads that pride yourself on pointing out that Dr. And The Crippens weren't on the Japan-only double 10" flexi version of Grindcrusher or whatever. I hope you get hit by a meteor.
Please leave comments on your personal highs, lows, and WTFs for the albums, and remind us of what other generic 90s death metal comps we missed.
At Death's Door: A Collection of Brutal Death Metal I was going to make fun of this one but after looking at the track listing again, it's actually pretty sweet and generally devoid of crap or novelty bands, especially considering it's from 1990, making it the earliest of all these comps.
Highs: Believer! I love this band so much even though they're Jesus freaks. I'd go so far as to say they might be the best thrash band of all time. Seriously. I love both their albums, especially the one that sounds exactly like Earth Crisis. Also, one of the better Deicide songs.
Lows: Malevolent Creation, yuck! I can't think of anything even slightly notable about that band. Well, except for that one song... you know... that one.
WTF: For a good 2 years or so, I thought Deicide were called "Decide." I am pretty sure I said a few times that Decide were the most brutal band ever.
Death Is Just The Beginning Vol I The only other person at my high school that listened to death metal was this poser named Cam. He let me borrow this tape in 9th grade. It was my first introduction to Nuclear Blast, and as you might guess, I was not impressed. That shouldn't be a surprise considering this is the same label that thought people would pay money for Gorefest and Kataklysm records. If there's one thing we learned from Nuclear Blast bands, it's that Euros shouldn't be allowed to make music.
Highs: Uh... well, I actually really like one of the Righteous Pigs songs on here, which is funny because I can imagine even Wild Rags turning down their demo.
Lows: Master, Defecation, Atrocity, Disharmonic Orchestra... need I go on? Oof. Oh and don't forget Benediction! If you can make it through both sides of this tape, you're a braver man than I am.
WTF: There is someone out there on this planet who considers this the best album ever made. Think about it. There are 6 billion people on this motherfucker, one of them has to think this album tops them all. He probably also has severe head trauma.
Corporate Death Relapse these days is a truly awful label. Not as bad as Earache I guess, but who is. They mostly put out beard metal and hardcore with not an Exit-13 record to be found, it's bullshit. But back in the early 90s, they were pretty sweet because they put out lots of awesome American death metal, such as this comp.
Highs: Suffocation "Human Waste." This completely knocked my dick in the dirt when I first heard it and began my decades-long love affair with wigger slam metal. Also, back then Relapse had the balls to put out weird shit like Candiru and Convulse, which I still like a lot. OK, that's not true, but it was still cool.
Lows: Mortician. Ugh. Disrupt, one of the worst bands ever that just wouldn't quit. General Surgery, the epitome of forgettable death metal.
WTF: At the time, I didn't really get that the whole "corporate" theme was a joke. But I knew Relapse was a huge label because they had color sleeves for their 7"s, so I wasn't surprised that they could afford the building on the cover for their headquarters.
Grindcrusher In retrospect, most of the albums in the Earache catalog are complete garbage, although at the time they seemed like the best label ever. This is certainly no exception. For the most part this was fourth-string European bands that were deservedly unknown. However, there are a number of seminal tracks that cannot be dismissed.
Highs: Fucking CHAPEL OF GHOULS, one of the top 3 death metal songs ever written (the other 2 are "The End Complete" and "Hammer Smashed Face"). Unseen Terror, the finest Garfield-based grindcore band ever. This was the first time I heard Nocturnus!!
Lows: There are so many. Godflesh, Sore Throat, Mighty Force... but the worst is probably Cadaver. Jesus Christ that band is terrible. Nothing is worse than generic Euro 90s death metal.
WTF: When I was 14, I thought Lawnmower Deth was a really good band.
Remember back when bands looked this awesome?
I bet this show was sick!
