When Weed And Metal Goes Wrong Pt. II

Thanks to the feedback for the first post of 'When Weed And Metal Goes Wrong'! There were some good ideas, additional mentions of metal failing at the topic of weed, and other discussion. If you missed the inaugural post, check it out HERE.

Again, like mentioned in the first post, most of the time weed and metal is a great combo, however, when you fuck it up, you fuck it up so bad that it’s laughable and/or sad. I’ve also foregone the “traditional” metal/stoner bands cause that’s just like shooting fish in a barrel.

For the second installment of 'WWAMGW' I'm gonna expand the boundaries a bit further than just rattle off bad metal songs about marijuana. For starters, a few readers mentioned Pantera in the first post which piqued my curiosity because off the top of my head I couldn't think of an overtly "weed" song that Pantera had written. Where did this connection come from? I searched through lyrics and album art and couldn't find any solid leads. In fact, I was surprised that Far Beyond Driven only mentions 'dope' a couple times and the word 'smoke' three times throughout the whole album - WTF?! Where was the Pantera-Weed connection? Coming up empty handed, I think I’ve finally found the culprit connecting the band to weed, quite simply: their merchandise. Talk about great branding! Rarely mentioned in song at all, the band earned their weed-loving rep through various pot-leaf emblazoned (huge pun there, sorry, had to) merchandise items like these:

Seriously, you can do a socio-marketing study on this phenomenon. However, like mentioned in the first post when referencing Black Label Society's fanbase (ie. predominantly trashy, with redneck tendencies and a love for Hot Topic and headshops) I think their fanbase saw the merch and sunk their teeth in deep. In short, it's impressive to see a band never pen a song about weed, rarely mention it in song, and yet become synonymous with marijuana. I'm not sure if I should give kudos or sympathy?

Moving right along… For better or worse, I've always had a soft spot for Fear Factory, I’m sure much to the chagrin of many readers. Strangely enough it was their much-overlooked EP Fear Is The Mindkiller that I first heard from the band sometime in '93.

(The nu-metal-odometer was broke that day)

My interest in the band tapered off right around Obsolete, but the deathblow came right around that time when there was a "supergroup" of sorts that featured Christian (bass) and Raymond (drums) of Fear Factory along with Stef, the guitarist from the Deftones, and B-Real of Cypress Hill fame. The name of this group: Kush. Yep, named after a strain of marijuana. This is such a bad name it rivals the lame band Dope (who got a good reaming in the first WWAMGW post) - in fact, I'm curious to hear which name readers think is the worse of the two? Please comment below. Not quite as overt as Cannibis Corpse and their hilarious song titles, but still having song titles like "Light It Up" the group is clearly a force to be reckoned with amongst highschoolers dipping their toe into the rap-metal water. In retrospect, there WAS some foreshadowing when Fear Factory's remix album "Remanufacture" had a short instrumental song titled 'Bionic Chronic' which seemed so outta nowhere (and out of character for the band) that I'm sure I wasn't the only person thinking something wasn’t quite right in the FF camp. In any event, so far God has fortunately jumped on the grenade and Kush hasn't put out a record (their debut was supposed to surface in '03), but I still wait with fear and baited breath...

(Smoke 'em if ya got 'em...)

Mentioning the Deftones does bring up a more pressing offense by the band (and I LIKE the Deftones): they're playing this year's 2009 Smokeout Festival next month with Slipknot. Double ouch! This is a real life example of the critical moment where weed infects metal in a bad way. You see, other bands playing this festival are acts like Kottonmouth Kings, Sublime, etc. and it’s hosted by Cheech and Chong. You can imagine the legions of mall dirt that will be in attendance. They should get Jnco to sponsor this fest, have booths for henna tattoos and dirty do-it-yourself dread locks and just call it ‘Dirty Crusty Burn-Out Fest’.

(Standard issue Smokeout Fest attendee - Thanks to yourscenesucks.com)

However, this edition of WWAMGW would be remiss without SOME mention of metal“fumbling the pass” when it comes to weed. So, without further ado, here are this post's contenders:

Cephalic Carnage - 'Kill For Weed' (From the Anomalies album)

I have to qualify this by saying: I love Cephalic Carnage. I think they're great, they're cool dudes and they all shred at their instruments. It pains me to write them up like this (much like Brujeria in the first post) but I have to mention this song cause it seriously made me laugh out loud. Truth be told, I think this song is awesome. I love the brazen, ridiculous concept of "killing for weed" cause that shit is just so plain extreme you have to - whether you like it or not - begrudgingly respect it cause they go there. The music is sweet, and the lyrics ain't too bad either UNTIL you get to the last few lines vocalist Lenzig bursts out and the song’s coolness is almost undone. In short, the song talks about how cops are fucked up, they'll tear your house apart looking for weed, the system is fucked up, weed should be legalized and how he kills to stop the cop mistreatment... sounds all good right? That is, until the last few lines where he says:

"This is a song about a schizophrenic,

I met on the street,

Told me how he killed for weed"

I thought my head spun around like in the exorcist in a true WTF moment? Did he just answer an interview question within the context of a song? Let me explain, those lyrics are actually IN the song ABOUT the song they are in and not just a liner note explanation. Talk about utter hilarity in some weird twist of circular logic. He might as well have said, "By the way, this song is based on a true story of my encounter with a mentally handicapped derelict, the names have been changed to protect..." except SUNG in the song as part of the song (in death metal vocals no less). Wait, maybe I should give them a pass for originality and good use of narrative dialog?

Vanillia Ice - 'Zig Zag Stories' (From the Hard To Swallow album) I know this might seem like I'm throwing a ringer out there from the get-go since this is Vanilla Ice, but hear me out. From a musical perspective, I really enjoy this record. Yes, I can hear you in the back decry how Ross Robinson (aka nu-metal producer extraordinaire) recorded this record - guess what: it's a musically inventive album (especially amongst the nu-metal glut when in came out in '98) with effects, layers and loops providing interesting textures and sounds (and you'll probably give silly nu-metal experimenter Tom Morello a pass for street cred and the status quo - lame). Rather than sit here and write a book about how Vanilla Ice's stylistic shift is already in its 12th incarnation of morbid self-impersonating sarcasm, let's just say I think it's a good record, BUT not without it's butchering of the topic of marijuana. Check out this lyrical except:

"...To blaze up a sac of that green bombay

And when I reach my peak, I explode like Dante

Tha ganjay has got my mind wide open, I'm soakin'

In the music, I use it, and don't abuse it

And true, it gets me high like the sky

I will buy 'till the day that I die

You ain't gotta ask me why

I take tokes from the smoke, I can't deny

Got a lifetime supply

And I wanna get you high"

I rest my case.

Before wrapping up, though, I also wanted to give a couple of honorable mentions. Firstly, thanks to SaveTheCirclePit for pointing out Sacred Reich's song ‘Ask Ed’ for the great lyrics:

“Sometime I like to kick back

Hit the fridge have a little snack

Grab the paper see whats on the tube

Stretch out and smoke a fat dube”

I thought the term dube went out in about '76, but the ‘Reich is reppin' it hard twenty years later! Also, an honorable mention shout-out to Decrepit Birth's Diminishing Between Worlds album. I stumbled across their lyrical delivery recently with great interest. They've somehow managed to write an album where the lyrics read like singer Bill Robinson is stoned to the bejeebus (say that like Bill Murray in Caddyshack). We're talking meta-physics, astral projection, multi-dimensions, etc. He accomplishes ALL of this without any mention of 'weed', 'smoke', 'marijuana' or any other drug-related connotations - good work and tip of the cap to you sir!

If you have ideas for future “WWAMGW” songs to discuss, let me know. The next edition may flip the script for a bizzaro post of ‘When Weed And Metal Goes RIGHT’! So stay tuned.

Free International Travel, Courtesy of Metal Inquisition (Part 1)

Foreign travel can be a satisfying experience. This year alone I've been lucky enough to spend time in five different countries, and have thus enjoyed varied cultures, types of public transportation and (perhaps more importantly) experienced five varying degrees of cleanliness among the populations of these countries. As great as this all sounds, I've also found myself cursing about the horrible state of bathrooms in five different countries, and I've also been let down by how terrible one thing or another is in specific places around the world. Andorra's bathrooms are okay, but have you tried to get a decent sandwich there? Why is it so hard to get a burrito in South America? It's for these reasons that today we are offering a free, transatlantic trip to all of our readers. Why pay for expensive airfare when you can enjoy other cultures from the comfort of your own home?

Today we are going to Russia (virtually, that is), and will learn about its culture and customs the only way we know how...by looking at some of its record covers. These were sent to us by one of our readers, who I will assume looks like Borat. I know what you're thinking, Borat is a fictitious character played by a Jewish guy from England, and it incorrectly portrays a Kazakh person, not a Russian, and the movie was partially shot in Romania. Oh well, Kazakhztan used to be a part of the Soviet Union...so for most of us, that's close enough.


For most western metal fans, their knowledge about Russia is limited to the following:

- The Scorpions had that song "Winds of Change" about the Berlin wall, which references "Gorky Park". I should tell you that Mr Gene Hoglan's Balls and I have sung (or is that "sang"?) this song in kareokee multiple times, and we always forget how hard it is to follow along. Like a lost puppy finding its way back home, however, we always manage to nail the "Gorky Park" line.

- There was a band called Gorky Park, and some of us saw a picture of them in Metal Hammer back in the 80s, but we can't remember what they looked like, much less what they sounded like.

- James Heatfield went to Russia to hunt, and talks about it in the Some Kind Of Monster movie, where he describes drinking vodka with the locals during this trip. Like most of you, I was hoping a mountain lion of some kind would have ripped the remaining part of his face that the acne didn't damage during this teenage years. Either that, or perhaps a bear could have eaten him whole. Sadly, the only thing that happened during the trip was that he became a full blown alcoholic, and subsequently made the band suck worse.

- Metallica and Pantera played that huge show there a long time ago, and the footage features soldiers that are either getting into the music, or beating people who are getting into the music...but can you blame them? If you had a stick, and the ability to beat Pantera fans in their face and neck area, wouldn't you? I know I would.

That's about all most westerners know. So although I'm sure that entire region of the world is now filled with black metal bands (what country isn't?), horrible R&B and Wu-Tang-like hip hop..we have chosen instead to take a step back and look at album covers from the heydey of Russian musical production. Since we do not have access to the actual records, or background information about the artists, but we want to review them anyway, I will make some educated guesses about their musical content and share them with you.





Having left the band he started and helped him rise to popularity, Kris Kelmi (real name Saul Rabinowitz) opted for a more pop-based approach to his first solo album. Titled "open your sesame", this amazing musical effort takes its name from a sexual slur that is commonly used around asian prostitutes in Moscow's red light district. Having sworn to never use keyboards on his records, Kris widened his musical spectrum in this release, much like an asian prostitute opening her "sesame". Critics have often said that the albums tone and musical direction was highly influenced the Page & Coverdale album, but they are wrong. Only his hair and silver sport coat were influenced by Coverdale...the music is so horrible, that it has no predesessors.





As one of the leading bands in the prog scene in Russia, these guys were true pioneers. Not content with simple musical structures, Aria (or Apur, or whatever that logo says) opted for complex time signatures derived from traditional Russian music. Like most other prog bands, Aria produced only concept albums. This album in particular deals with an giant robot overloard known as "Kzchecheuz", who rules the land and shoots down helicopters that are transporting illegal jeans from America. Kzchecheuz, the robot overloard, seeks to control all denim production, and will stop at nothing to control the making and distribution of low-grade and premium denim throughout the world. Highlights of the album include:

- All Denim Is My Denim
- Wait In Line For Jeans, This Will Be The Way

Shortly after the collapse of the Soviet Union, Aria changed musical and lyrical directions. Four out of the six band members are now in a Boyz II Men tribute band.







With influences ranging from Slayer to Manowar, Abivct (or whatever that says) were a groundbreaking act in the Ukranian metal scene. Before the Soviet collapse, the band members recided and worked in the greater Chernovyl area, and as a result all of them emit a soft reddish glow that is only captured in photographic film. As a result of their exposure to severe amounts of radiation, the band's singer also sprouted a sword made of light which he uses as a stage prop. While this makes for great theatrics, sleeping with it permanently attached to his palms has turned out to be a bit of a pain. Similarly, his clothes and drapes have been torn to shreds. See the bottom of his shirt/smock? It's not cut up for fashion's sake, that fucking sword will cut any fabric like a hot knife through butter. When this guy says "wimps and posers leave the hall!" you better leave, or else he will kill you with his radioactice supersword!






South Florida's Nocturnus were a pioneering act in the world of death metal, primeraly due to their use of keyboards. Althoug you'd think that merely using an already existing instrument in poorly written music, and burrying it in the mix would be rather par for the course, the guys from Nocturnus congratulated themselves for this stroke of genius for the better part of a decade. Why do I mention this? Because the effects of Nocturnus and their innovative use of a horrid instrument are still being felt behind the no-longer existing iron curtain. Inspired by the Florida death unit known as Nocturnus, this Russian dude (whose name I can't decipher) has chosen to use the very latest technology available in Russia (which is basically an Apple IIe) and blended it with lyrics inspired by the pages of Keyboard Magazine. And why does he do all this? Is it for the sake of musical exploration? Well, yes...but it's also to seduce Saturday Night Live alumni Victoria Jackson, who has apparently ended up living in Russia and working in his makeshift recording studio.






More to come in Part 2.

More Metal Tattoos From The Interweb

Thanks to the magic of search engines and the internet, we once again take you for a spin around the world of metal tattoos. Hold on tight, it's going to be a depressing and bumpy ride.



1. The line-up of bands on his leg is enough to make you gag.
2. The guy's disgusting hairy leg and crotch shot are enough to make you barf.
3. The fact that the guy is married (see wedding band) is enough to make you loose all hope and respect for women.

How many of you were surprised that the asshole who has this tattoo is wearing white hi-tops, and white ankle socks. Anyone? No? Good. I wasn't either.

This picture is proof that men are not only idiots, but also gross. Look at that disgusting armpit hair, or whatever body part that is. I've never felt so hetero in my life.

The Sarge and I saw Fear Factory some years ago in what was basically a midwestern parking lot. They played a Pantera song, and we both got the douche chills. This is the kind of tattoo that the dude who has it would show to the band members with great pride. The band members would then go "uh....wow...really? Sheesh. Wow."

Look, I know that the guy's dead and everything. It's sad, wah, wah, wah...but how big of a douche do you have to be to get this on your arm? I can just picture the guy getting it constantly reminding the tattoo dude "remember to make the goatee red, it's very important. I'm a huge fan of how he looked during the Far Beyond Driven years!"

This guy is my hero. I'm not being ironic. He's rad.

Late addition, suggested by a reader in the comments section. I don't even know where to start! The awful rendering with the fu-manchu mustache, the hat, the goatee, the pimples on Dimebag's forehead....oh and did I mention the Heavy Metal logo?

Who is the only person dumber than Max Cavalera? The guy who gets a tattoo of Max Cavalera.

Now this, my friends, is commitment. I would love to meet this guy and tell him "I'm a real Queensryche fan, not like you" just to watch his blood boil and his head blow up.





Any readers out there have band-related ink? Tell the truth, I know there's at least one Napalm Death or a Nasty Savage tattoo out there somewhere.

Retroview: Pantera discography

Pantera is, without a doubt, one of the finest bands ever to set foot on planet Earth. I can't speak for other parts of the galaxy, maybe one of the guys from Nocturnus can shed some light on that, but I do know that if you want to experience POWER GROOVE here on the third rock from the sun, you must jam some fucking Pantera.

Dimebag RIP
First, let me address the tragic death of Dimebag Darrel. As you will see from the rest of this post, I am a huge Pantera fan, but I have to be real on this one. Damageplan fucking sucked and you can totally see why someone felt like Dime deserved to be shot for defecating on the corpse of Pantera by starting that band. I mean I can totally imagine myself saying "He should be shot!!"

The glam years: Not on the exam

The beginning: The glam years
Many internet metal nerds would probably spend a lot of time making fun of Pantera's early records which as most of you surely know are unbelievably gay. I am not going to do that because their other records are so fucking sweet and I would rather focus on them. Enough said on that subject.

Fuck yeah dude, look at how much of a badass Phil is. He's all, "You talkin' to me?!" And Rex is all, "Yeah, that's right, what are you gonna do about it?"

Cowboys From Hell (1990)
There are certainly a fair amount of people who think this is the best Pantera album, but I think they are "I only like the demo" types who try too hard to be different. It is definitely totally fucking awesome but it also has some real stinkers like "Cemetary Gates" that keep it from rising to the top. Oh and "Psycho Holiday," ugh, what a fucking turd. That said, the mosh parts in "Primal Concrete Sledge" and "Domination" are ungodly brutal and most definitely the prototype for countless awesome 90s mosh bands like Earth Crisis and Abnegation (for better or worse). Also, the title track might be the best song ever written, I'm not sure. It's either that or "Wake Me Up" by Wham! A lot of people seem to think this record was a big Exhorder rip off, which I guess it sort of is, but the songwriting is so much better that it's not an issue as far as I'm concerned.

The less extreme version of Phil's undercut, popular on females at the time. I'm still not sure what the benefit of shaving the upper neck is.

Vulgar Display of Power (1992)
Now this is where things get REALLY good!! This is when Pantera created a NEW GENERATION OF POWER GROOVE! Also, Phil had one of those haircuts where it's long on top but shaved all around the sides. If you saw Prong, White Zombie, or Tool in the early 90s, you saw lots of these haircuts. Anyhow, from beginning to end, this record fucking shreds. Well, except for "This Love" which was a total puss move. "Hollow" was also gay, slow, and far too long, but the mosh riff at the end is super brutal so it makes up for the rest of the song. But "Mouth For War," "Rise," and "Live In A Hole" are fucking classics. Lots of lame football types liked "Walk," which is a good song and I like it too, but they kind of ruined it for me. But overall, this must be considered their finest release and the definitive Pantera album.

Apparently there is a car called the Pantera. I don't really know anything about that, but this looks like a sweet place to get high and listen to Pantera (probably somewhere in Snohomish County, Washington)

Far Beyond Driven (1994)
When this album came out, I wasn't really ready for it. I think this is where Phil started to come unglued so there are lots of weird, longer songs on here that are obviously the product of an insane junkie. They drag the average down, but this one also has some of Pantera's finest songs such as "I'm Broken," "Shattered," and of course "Strength Beyond Strength" which is definitely one of the very most underrated Pantera tracks. Overall, this album is kind of a mixed bag: Half face-ripping awesomeness, half weird crap that makes you race for the fast-forward button on your AM/FM cassette Walkman. Lots of people I went to high school with would listen to this album while sitting on a rock in the woods and smoking pot and wearing a Starter jacket. In retrospect, I should have joined them instead of writing zines in my parents' basement.

I wonder what the 8 year olds that manufacture these in Bangladesh think they are? They're probably too busy getting flogged by the Blue Grape plant manager to think about it.

The Great Southern Trendkill (1996)
This is another hit and miss record. It has some of their very best songs like "The Underground In America," "Floods," "Suicide Note Pt 2" and "Sandblasted Skin," but some seriously shitty shit that just goes on forever and sounds like the dull ramblings of a self-centered junkie. Which I guess it is. Why is it that drunks and junkies always think that they are so interesting? They just go on and on about whatever trivial bullshit is in their brain, writing what seems to be an endless stream of books, songs, and movies about it. Someone should tell them how gay it is (although I did like the last VOD album a lot). It's certainly not interesting, novel, shocking or noteworthy in any other way. It just reminds me of my parents.

By the way, I was recently watching the Cowboys From Hell VHS, and was startled at how unintimidating Phil was. At the time it seemed like he was such a bad looking dude, but looking at him now he just looks like some surly, white-trash guy that you would see at 7-11 stocking up on Mountain Dew before he goes off to his roofing job. His physique is definitely not impressive at all, which isn't how I remembered it.

Phil's "Look how trve I am" phase was cringeworthy

Reinventing the Steel (2000)
This is sad. With a band as great as Pantera, you would hope that they could go out on a high note, but it didn't work out that way. I tried so hard to like this album, but it's just not that good. They probably phoned this one in, and it shows. Basically it feels like the blueprint for Hell Yeah to me: flimsy, hackneyed riffs and NO POWER GROOVE whatsoever. Disappointing, but what can you do? Just put Vulgar Display in the tape player instead of this.

Amazing Tattoo Roundup

Metal Inquisition Roundtable #1: Who riffs harder: Prong or Pantera?

Sergeant D: This is a tough one for me. When it comes to vaguely racist 90s thrash with hardcore elements, both bands are at the top of the heap, so it's hard to pick one over the other. Both bands have songs with memorable, yet retarded choruses that their fans loved to chant: "Snap your fingers, snap your neck" and "Fucking hostile." And of course, both bands had plenty of merchandise available through Blue Grape, including hockey jerseys, ashtrays, and "jams." So there's a lot of common ground.

But at the end of the day, you have to go with Pantera. Like Phil said in the Cowboys From Hell home video, they're truly a new generation of power groove. Unlike their peers that were just another forgettable track on a Concrete Corner cassette sampler, Pantera's songs have the kind of staying power that few bands ever create.

Lucho Metales: Look, I'm not one to shy away from controversy. I believe "South Of Heaven" is the best Slayer album. I think "Harmony Corruption" is the best Napalm Death album (if I hear ANYONE give me hell about how it's not a grindcore album, but a death metal album....heads will roll)... perhaps the most controversial opinion I hold is that Sanctuary were a derivative band that relied too heavily on their image, and that Dave Mustaine producing their album did little for its quality.

Having said all this I can now tell you that I feel that when it comes to straight up riffage, Prong were the kings. Yes, I know that Pantera were heavier, I also understand that Diamond Darrell's (I refuse to call him "Dimebag") guitar tone was masterful, but let's not get lost in the minutia of production values and gear. Both bands had equally bad, paper thin rhythm sections (Vinnie Paul's drumming in Cowboys From Hell is only slightly more advanced than that of Meg White) so the riffing really came through in both bands, but Prong always came out ahead. Their riffs were far more memorable, and anchored songs in a stronger manner. True, I have to try really hard to put aside the memory of seeing Tommy Victor when he was playing for Danzig, and I saw him after the show wearing leather pants and a clear plastic shirt. No joke. But hey, both bands made questionable fashion choices at times.



Still, how shocked were you when you bought Prong's "Beg To Differ" and suddenly realized that all the riffs for the Headbanger's Ball bumpers were by Prong? Riki Rachtman picked those riffs himself (as he stated in an interview with Prong circa 1994). If anyone can pick riffage, its Riki. Dude went skydiving with Dave Mustaine, so you know he's a man's man.

Gene Hoglan's Balls: Sergeant D and I first debated this fundamental question while looking at fat chicks in tight clothes at the Willowbrook Mall several years ago. So fierce was the debate that it raged on as we drove back to his apartment in Montclair and on into the wee hours of the morning. Even after hours of debate we couldn’t come up with a single definitive answer, but if I remember correctly I ended up siding with Dimebag and Sergeant D sided with Tommy Victor. Years later the debate rages on and for me at least, the answer is still not a clear cut one.

I don’t care much for early Prong. Their sloppy attempt at crossover just doesn’t speak to me the same way their mid 90s industrial metal does. The same can be said for Pantera. Their early, power metal albums are a joke compared to the razor sharp, muscular groove of albums like “Cowboys From Hell” and “Vulgar Display of Power.” When you put a song like “Rude Awakening” up against a song like “Primal Concrete Sledge” it’s almost impossible to pick one band over the other. You’ve got to two HUGE jackhammer riffs dripping with groove, and that’s only one example, but there are countless others. How do you pick just one?

In order to settle this debate there’s an important distinction that I think needs to be made between heaviness and hardness. As far as heaviness goes, Pantera is the clear winner, but in terms of hardness, Prong comes out on top. Dimebag’s riffs are heavier, but Tommy Victor’s are harder. Get it? Okay. With that distinction in mind I’m left with no other choice than to declare Prong the winner in the “Who Riffs Harder?” debate!

Awakening: This is an easy one for me. Pantera. Thanks in part to never really hearing Prong until later in my life, when I ventured into my beloved Jerry’s Records in Pittsburgh and bought Beg to Differ used. What a turd. Maybe I was too stoked on getting the first three slayer albums used on vinyl on the same trip.

Pantera also provides for two of my favorite events in life.

Event number one is when this dude I grew up with saw Pantera and had Phil sign the side of his head. Said dude then went and had Phil’s signature tattooed to his fucking head. HIS HEAD! Later he covered it up with a sweet tribal. Now, I think he is dead. I can’t remember.

Event number two is that one night at this bar I somehow managed to convince everyone that I would be the "plus one" for free Pantera tickets that the bar was giving away. Sure enough, a friend won them and took me. We arrived, found $200 dollars in the walk up to the venue and then proceeded to have our balls blown off by the images of a pot leaf projected all over the roof. It was awesome.

Hey remember when Phil went black metal?

Hands down, Pantera.

-----------

Verdict:
Prong: 2
Pantera: 2

Superbowl Sunday, Metal Line-Up

In honor of Superbowl Sunday, Metal Inquisition researchers have chosen the following metal personalities as being the most likely members of team metal's starting line-up.

Dino Cazares









Gene Hoglan









Kam Lee









Vinnie Paul






Kerry King













This fat, angry black metal fan








Shane Embury, who looks just like Hurley from the TV show Lost







Pretty much anyone in Crowbar









Billy Milano









Messiah Marcolin








Honorary mention goes out to the entire line-up of Ohio's Drogheda, circa 1995.