Monday, August 11, 2008

Lindsay Lohan is way into Maiden—James Hetfield is way into Armani

In this picture, Lindsay Lohan can be seen wearing a vintage Iron Maiden shirt, and making the unmistakable face of someone trying to get a pubic hair unstuck from their teeth.

As a result of the picture above, I know for a fact that I have grown just a bit as a person over the years. Why? Because I can remember a time (though only barely) when having seen such an image would have sent me spiraling down into a senseless rage for days, if not weeks. These days, I just feel happy for the stylist that got this cash-cow to pay $600 dollars for the shirt. Good for him.

Having said that, has the whole world gone mad? Things are so insanely upside down these days. Lindsay Lohan rocks a Maiden shirt, and (as reported earlier here at M.I.) James Hetfield and Robert Trujillo are shopping at Armani? Jesus, I stop paying attention to metal for only about a decade..and this is what happens? If Paris Hilton starts doing the Trujillo crab-walk, I'm calling the authorities.

Though hard to believe, this is not actually a picture of Paris Hitlon doing the Trujillo crab-walk. This is merely an artist's rendering. M.I. legal counsel has asked me to clear this up due to the unusually realistic quality of the image.


  1. The photoshop is hilarious.

    That woman in the first picture has lived a full life and I bet she's not over 20. Iron Maiden have nothing to offer her, nothing with which to existentially console the cavernous depths, bereft as they are of sanguine humour or the capacity to give joy that she calls her heart. Truly, Heavy Metal is not for her.

  2. I bet Tom Hanks career and quality of output could benefit again from the use of the Zoltar speaks body swapping machine too.

  3. Don't know who that Lindsay Lohan is but she looks like a junkie. Looking forward to another very average Metallica album. Maiden are below average these days.

  4. Lindsay Lohan looks like shit. Have another line of coke, bitch.

  5. Don't they sell Maiden and Metallica shirts at JC Penny? So the assholes bought the culture, happens all the time, Fubu.

  6. "Looking forward to another very average Metallica album. Maiden are below average these days."

    If this is trying to imply Metallica is better than Iron Maiden in anyway, especially today, I'll have to disagree whole-heartedly.

  7. Metallica ain't better than nobody, any day.

  8. "Metallica ain't better than nobody, any day."

    Have you never heard really really awful bands? There's tonnes of bands out there worse than Metallica. Check myspace. There's not as many that want to be Metallica. Even Testament wanted to be Metallica at one stage. Don't believe me? Listen to their 'Practice What You Preach' album and then listen to AJFA Metallica's downfall is more out in the spotlight than a lot of other turned to shit bands because they have been media darlings for years(before they even made a full length video).

    There's a chance due to your butchering of the English language I've missed your point. But hey, we all know there are better bands than Metallica.

    As for the Maiden vs Metallica argument, IMO, a new release from either band is not a particularly exciting event.

  9. "Have you never heard really really awful bands?"

    Yup. That one with the bass player from Suicidal Tendencies, their name escapes me at the moment. Something about loads.....the drummer likes tennis, the singer yodels a lot. Oh yeah, Metallica. That's the one.

  10. I thought I accidentally put on "St. Anger" the other day. But it turned out that I was actually listening to a good album with the speakers only plugged halfway in. An honest mistake that's probably happened to most of us.

  11. are there worse bands? sure. but at that level of fame and with that type of history? i don't know. they're also insanely funny, particularly due to their impulse to document the making of their albums as of late. that's what makes them so great to laugh at, they give you great footage...stuff like kirk ridding a horse and crying, lars crying, james writing genius lyrics.... the entire band has become a huge cringe fest. they continuously give me the douche-chills.

    maiden vs metallica live? maiden has embraced its roots, perhaps in a way they have begun to acknowledge that they hit their high point some time ago. this may seem dumb....but seeing them life playing all the old songs probably beats metallica playing load/reload songs any day. still, it just depends what you like...but for my money...maiden live right now takes it anyday.

  12. Agreed, Lucho.

    Interesting looking at Metallica's recent Turkish setlist that they seem to be taking tips from Maiden.

    7/27/08 Ali Sami Yen Stadium, Istanbul, TUR

    Creeping Death
    For Whom The Bell Tolls
    Ride The Lightning
    Harvester Of Sorrow
    Kirk Solo #1
    Welcome Home (Sanitarium)
    Leper Messiah
    And Justice for All
    No Remorse
    Fade to Black
    Master Of Puppets
    Kirk Solo #2
    Nothing Else Matters
    Sad But True
    Enter Sandman
    Last Caress
    Seek and Destroy

    Total Running Time: 1:58:35

  13. it's a little disappointing that they're not doing "Tuba Foe" from the "Load" album, James' deeply personal tale of how he overcame his mortal fear of marching band brass sections. That's a catchy one.

  14. so gross yet so, so hot... how does she do it?

  15. Seeing that pic of 'LiLo' reminded me of how sold out/hyjacked the Misfits' skull is now. Last winter I saw a gansta bro wearing a skicap with it on it.
    Maybe he just 'found' it though.

    Punks had a term for it.

  16. Wow, Lohan looks like a hideous beast.Next time we see her she'll have a barrel ass and will be playing lacross wit her dyke girl friend!

  17. funny how without the makeup and photoshop most celebs look like crack whores.

    and am i the only one who likes the 'walk? the dude's been doing it forever. or has it become annoying only once he joined metallica?

  18. I don't mind the crab-walk and I also feel comfortable saying that right now Trujillo is the most talented person in Metallica.

    As to Metallica vs. Maiden, there's certainly a degree of being played out to both bands that one can't just ignore, but I went to see Maiden live this tour and they kicked ass, but I didn't even bother catching Metallica a few years ago.

    Also to worse bands being out there, there sure are but who fucking cares. Metallica, people used to care a lot at some point and it burns their ass that something they once cherished right now is this.

  19. It's hard to believe how gay Cynic is.

  20. poor Cynic catching some shrapnel.

  21. I live in the Bay Area and Testament is widely regarded as Thrash for girls.

  22. Why has there not yet been an entry on Alex Skolnick's shitty foray into the shitty world of jazz fusion?

  23. Everyone's been sucking Maiden's dick now for a few years but seriously, what the fuck is up with that Janick Gers dude? The guy twirls and flits around like he's a gayer (!) version of Paul friggin' Stanley, it's not very cool or very metal either. I found his act to be very distracting.

  24. "I live in the Bay Area and Testament is widely regarded as Thrash for girls." LOL!!! A friend of mine called it chickmetal. The key factors were the members or the leead singer had to have cool permed hair and look really good in tight jeans. The band Europe was a God to them. Joey Ramone had it with his hair, lost with his little pinhead of his.

  25. Steve Harris hands down destroys Trujillo!

    oh and skid, its spelled "poseur".

  26. Whatever... she is not a Maiden fan. I hate how it's just "cool" these days to wear band shirts from the 80's even if you don't even know the band. Hey Lindsay, name 1 Maiden song... besides Run to the Hills

    ... thought so.