Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Music to Kill Yourself By, Part II

Not to get too personal, but last Wednesday at 10:13 PM Eastern Daylight Time my girlfriend broke up with me. This after I made out with, fingered, and got a blowjob from one of her co-workers in a bathroom during her sister's birthday party the weekend prior. So she had plenty of reason to do so. Now that the faint smell of strange tang has faded from my fingers I have come to realize the error of my ways and greatly regret doing what I did, but it's too late. All that's left to do now is sink into an alcohol and pill fueled depression. Here's what I'll be listening to as I try not to feed my head to a wood chipper.

Crowbar - Time Heals Nothing
This song pretty much sums up Crowbar's entire career. Oppressively heavy, musically and lyrically, this song is a constant reminder of the futility of living. What's the point of living when you've got nothing to live for?

Saint Vitus - Dying Inside
I can't think of any other song that more accurately describes how I feel right now. Take a listen, and pay close attention to the lyrics.

Alice in Chains - Dirt
If you needed some extra motivation or inspiration to take your life, I'd suggest listening to this album, ASAP. Layne Staley took his life with a monster speedball, but not before leaving us with this masterpiece of depression. Never before has intravenous drug use sounded like such an appealing way to end the pain.

Eyehategod - Everything

Complete and total negativity. A bunch of strung out, fucked up junkies basically taunting you, cheering you on as you end it all. Go ahead, do it. You'll be happier, and no one will miss you.

Amy Winehouse - Back to Black

No fucking joke, this album kills me. It's an endless parade of misery. Song after song about failed relationships and substance abuse all wrapped up in a nice, glossy poppy package. Except that Amy can actually sing and all of the songs are legitimately heartbreaking. Their seriousness is only reaffirmed by the endless media coverage of Amy's legendary meltdowns which include beating up her fans, getting beaten up by her boyfriend, and smoking crack. For someone that's only 25, Amy has done some serious hard living.

Black Flag - Nothing Left Inside

If anyone understand my pain, it's Henry Rollins. The undisputed king of manfeelings, Hank knows what it's like to have loved and lost. This song, and the whole album, is one of the purest expressions of anger, frustration, and pain I've ever heard. When you're close to the edge all it takes is Hank bellowing "NOOOOOOOTTTHHHHINNG LEFFFTTTT INNSSSIIIIIIDDEEEE!!" to make you want to jump.

Roy Orbison - Everything

I fucking defy you to listen to "In Dreams" or "Crying" when depressed and not reach for a sharp object. There's just something about Roy's voice and the words he sings that make my heart drop and my chest tighten. Maybe it had to do with the amount of tragedy he experienced. His first wife died in a motorcycle accident and two of his five sons died in a housefire. That's a lot of heavy shit to go through and though he didn't end his own life he certainly makes me want to end mine when I listen to his music.

Chris Isaak - Forever Blue
If a good looking dude like Chris Isaak can't even hold onto a lady, then what hope does a regular schlub like me have? This album is relentless misery. Tale after tale of love lost. It's really hard to listen to after a while, especially if you're trying to get over having lost someone yourself. I mean, Christ, if you were banging this chick and she left wouldn't you want to end it all?

Buzzoven - Sore
See Eyehategod.

G.G. Allin - Freaks, Faggots, Drunks, and Junkies

A God among men, G.G. is legendary for practicing what he preached. How many men with penises the size of a baby's pinky would flaunt that shit like they were packing a magnum? Only a troubled genius like GG could write such unforgettable songs as "Die When You Die," "Commit Suicide," and "I Wanna Kill You." Only an angel, too beautiful for this world, could pen the following lines:

If you're listening to this song
And everything is going wrong
Take a chance on the other side
Let's go over the edge

Fuck the pigs, fuck the folks
Death is where it's at
Use a gun, use a knife
Take some pills, take your life

Slit your throat, slit your wrists
Go over the edge

INXS - Never Tear Us Apart

Autoerotic asphyxiation. That's some way to go.

Lady Gaga - Just Dance

I actually like this song, but it was stuck in my head for two days last week and it reminds me of my ex-girlfriend so whenever I hear it now I want to die, immediately. Please, indulge yourself.

That's all for now, ladies and gentlemen. I've got a noose to tie. See you on the other side!


  1. Major respect for acknowledging Amy Winehouse, INXS, Chris Isaak etc.

    Maybe Metallica's Fade to Black is too obvious, but who cares? It's still perfect.

  2. Sorry to hear about you splitting up with your Girlfriend, but it's not like you didn't deserve it, but for wrist slitting fun, I'd recommend the following:

    'In Absentia Christi' by Monumnetum, 'Epistomological Despondency' by Esoteric or 'The Sacred Truth' by Tenhornedbeast. The challenge is this, choose one of these albums load up on LSD, play at full volume and try to survive the night.

  3. i've been listening to this deathchug band called Wrench that are pretty fucking brutal and suicide-inducing... you should check them out:


  4. Good call on esoteric alex, that record is crushing.

    My personal choice Starkweather, today is the day and unsane, though unsane more makes me want to drive a truck full of explosives into a bank!

  5. you have to love a post that starts out with "not to get too personal", and then continues to get personal.

    Just so all of our readers know, Metal Inquisition writers will be gathering once again this weekend at our Mid-Atlantic Innovation Center for a company retreat. During said retreat the mental state of all contributors will be assessed, in order to ensure that the blog continues...for our fans, who are the most important thing in our lives. For reals

  6. I'd go with that Red House Painters album with "New Jersey" and "Rollercoaster" on it. The lyric "I still feel the sting in my hand from when I hit you" seems especially poignant at this juncture.

    Also eternal thanks to whoever recommended Neglect in the comments for Part I! I picked up "The Complete Don Fury Sessions" and found it mind blowing...as I'm sure was their intention.

  7. I love Doom Metal, and there's plenty of choices there to make you feel like shit, but I'm only going to recommend one, that is always overlooked and I think it's the most depressing album: "Pity Love" (1995) by Beyond Dawn (nor). Amazing album, but just for special occasions. Too depressive to listen very often.

    PS: Good call on Dirt by Alice In Chains. Some songs are killer there. Favorites: Would?, Dirt and Junkhead.

  8. This is akin to all the disappointing realizations that this blog is founded on. I mean, fuck: most of the staffers are either divorcees or dumpees, and GHB fingered his gal's coworker in a toilet.

    Still, I recommend Antimatter, especially the songs "Ghosts", "Conspire" and "The Weight of the World". Makes you wanna off yourself regardless of your status.

  9. Chris, disappointment is the one thing we can actually guarantee all of our readers. It's our specialty, really.

  10. Anything by Burning Witch would work.

  11. I forgot to give kudos where kudos is due, GG Allin. That guy helps me get through most decisions I have to make in life. When faced with difficulties my friend and I have a little saying: What Would GG Do? The usual answer is, do a shit, eat some of it, drag someone up an alley and rape the shit out of them. Works for me.

  12. anything My Dying Bride (esp earlier stuff or my personal fave The Dreadful Hours)

    Anathema's Silent Enigma or Serenades

    Wumpscut's Embryodead (or anything really)

    Nine Inch Nails' Downward Spiral

  13. good call on nine inch nails, i forgot all about them! "pretty hate machine" was one of my favorite albums to cry myself to sleep to in high school.

  14. ^ He's right about the NIN. But really you could throw anything on by them and it makes me want to off myself just knowing that people like that garbage.

  15. most of the staffers are either divorcees or dumpees, and GHB fingered his gal's coworker in a toilet.

    it's true. with the exception of lucho and carlos, we are sad, broken men with sad, broken lives. i don't need to get into too many tales of debauchery on here, but i've done a lot of things in the last few months that i'm not so proud of. things that take a little piece of your soul away. but every time the angel on one shoulder say "hey, maybe you should stop acting like such an idiot," the devil on the other shoulder says, "fuck it bro. jam some brokencyde and hit that bottle!"

  16. Ha, indeed three good recommendations, Alex.

    I rarely go for Metal, rather something some Whitehouse, Control, Brighter Death Now in times like those...
    Maybe some later Swans, the perfect soundtrack for a futile and soul-draining life!
    Or go for David Darling´s "Darkwood" - only cello music but damn, incredibly sad.

  17. Social D is a pretty good sad bastard band. "White Light, White Heat, White Trash" makes me want to get drunk and drive my car off Dead Man's Curve.

  18. "pretty hate machine" was one of my favorite albums to cry myself to sleep to in high school.

    Maybe we can get a future post describing MI staffers' favorite places to cry.

  19. NIN? Alice In Chains? Ugh. for some reason, I don't mind people discussion INXS or even Chris Isaak..but i have to draw the line somehwere. damn it to hell.

  20. ps i have a chris isaak tattoo! on my left ribs i have "Forever Blue" in script. pic here in case you think i'm bullshitting:


  21. remember, lucho. this is a safe space!

  22. For sure the Swans. Just try and listen to this all the way through:


  23. how did we forget DYSTOPIA?!

  24. When I hear Dino of Dystopia whine "I need a raise man!!!" and "Only I can love meee!!!" usually it just brings the lols. Maybe that's just me.

    My votes are for Rorschach's Protestant lp, Cathedral's "Forest of Equillibrium" and anything by Rudimentary Peni or Death in June

  25. Anything off of If God Only Knew The Rest Are Dead by Disembodied. That record has been the soundtrack to every depressed, fucked up era in my life.

  26. I dig the AiC thoughts, but if you had seen Layne the last year or so before ODing you'd have thought he was already dead and wished out of 'compassion' he'd of done it earlier.
    Getting dumpt by a chick would be a step up, believe me.

  27. When I hear Dino of Dystopia whine "I need a raise man!!!" and "Only I can love meee!!!" usually it just brings the lols.

    actually, this is very true. it came on my ipod a while ago at the gym and i was like "wow what a fucking baby."

    ps Skullkrusher and Dino... separated at birth?!

  28. If dystopia is a little too funny, how about Grief?

    The Jesus Lizards Down is also a good one for hurling yourself into a maniacal state of self loathing.

  29. Oh yeah, and the first two Sheer Terror lps, duh.

    One of the guys from Grief has a new band called Morne that are great.

  30. "rather something some Whitehouse, Control, Brighter Death Now in times like those..." Sorry bro, Whitehouse is LIFE. It is full of POWER! "Never forget Death, now is the time." Suicide, not really. Kill you and fuck your dead body, shit yeah!!! It is energizing to me, though it will put me in a foul mood. With BDN, Control and Swans, you are right on the money. NIN is dangerous when depressed. Their shit should come with razorblades. Might I add Abba's "The Winner Takes It All", that song can destroy me is wrong state of mind.

  31. ooof...i have so many dystopia stories. i can't even begin to get into it. you're right, he does sound a bit like a baby...but that album is still great. at least parts of it. i wish it were recorded better. i hate saying that any of it is good, because those guys don't need anyone to kiss their ass further..but what do i know, i doubt people even care about who they are anymore.
    dino was a maid, he cleaned houses for a living in the late 90s, which i always thought was pretty funny. i pictured him all depressed, with his stupid bone going through his nose, cleaning toilets.

  32. I have always said that when I go on a shooting spree that Black Flag "My War" album would be playing. I would use the first half for the shooting part then listen to side b(the last three songs) while I am waiting to blow my brains out all over the police negotiator.

  33. Eyehategod is the best American band of the last twenty years. They took usurped the throne when GNR descended into self-parody. Dopesick is still one of the most depressing, frustrating, emotionally intense albums I've ever heard. They somehow managed to capture the sound of absolute and complete failure and despair. No one has ever done it better. Power of the Nines forever!

  34. Dude, a great way to beat depression faster is to listen to Slaughter of the Soul extra loud while driving around the loop and hating stupid drivers. Convert it to rage, then play some sort of sport, work out, box, beat the shit out of a hobo or something, and very soon you will feel much better about yourself.

  35. the last suicide related post i commented about neglect and i will do so again.

    seriously neglect is THE band to kill yourself to.

  36. Furthermore, I feel I should add that when I hit rock bottom as a failing undergraduate I got my worst alcohol poisoning ever while listening to my Dirt cassette on loop. Fortunately I fell asleep face-down, because when I awoke my hair was glued to my mattress with vomit. And that was just the beginning of a brief living hell, baby.

    Yay Dirt!

  37. id go with either kings of leon or coldplay. the boredom and rage you will get from listening to these awful bands will counter the depression, but you will still want to kill yourself as a result.

  38. Christ, I wanted to kill myself when I saw Dystopia's dreadlocked worshippers 'singing along' to their samples at shows. Smelly fuckers ruined one of the best scenes in The Hudsucker Proxy for me.

  39. actually i don´t like listening to depressing music, and thinking about killing oneself is for emo gays...but i can recommend (ahem...) Deutsch Nepal´s "Benevolence" and everything by Atrax Morgue (described as "uneasy listening" by himself). The guy behind Atrax Morgue actually really topped himself, guess that proves the "suicidability" of the music.

  40. ever hear "from her to eternity"? Maybe I'm being too oldschool on this one, but that is some crazy and depressing shit... all of the older bad seeds records are good but the first few are really something else... amazed I can still listen to them with how I used them to self medicate in my early 20s... but yeah... some of the best music for suffering. get it out, man... get it out and use what's left to destroy everything. fuck.yeah.
    I mean if you're into moping there's always the first new order and I guess the rest of new order if you're looking for something whistful...
    ; )

  41. Wow, my scenario was almost exactly the same except it WAS her sister. First I listened to Depeche motherfucking Mode because it was her favorite band. I soon realized how dangerously gay that was & slipped into the "fuck y'all" phase which, of course, called for (blushes) Pantera. Love him or hate him, no one does "fuck y'all" like Anselmo. That phase was mercifully short-lived, thanks to our old friends "Recreational Drugs & Alcohol". Then I met another stupid woman who fucked up my life in ways too numerous to document here & forgot about the other one. It is, after all, just pussy (sorry ladies, it's true, men do objectify you this way).

  42. Life of Agony - River Runs Red - its in the script!

  43. Its funny you bring up Roy Orbison. Have you heard the song "Life Fades Away" from the Less Than Zero soundtrack? That shit is fucking awesome, and it will have you tracing your wrists with a straight-razor by the time Orbison lets out the final, lonely "I long to be at peace forever more.."

  44. Shit dude, sorry to hear. Take care.

  45. what the hell?? is this blog called self-indulgent-overshare-emo-drivel inquistion? or music-that-is-most-definitely-not-metal inquisition? no, it is certainly not. it's called METAL inquisition.

    seeing the likes of inxs, chris isaak and amy crackhouse mentioned on this blog is as dissapointing as the time kerrang! magazine did an article on fleminem.

    keep your dick in your pants and your blog posts metal. pull it tight man!!

  46. for "Nothing Left Inside" try to swap in the 11-minute version on the 82 demos. That will fuck you up good.

  47. Re: Roy Orbison's "Life Fades Away," it is actually Danzig's "Life Fades Away" being that the song was written for Roy by the Metal Midget himself - Now we can all die!!!

  48. Last time I did the real deal self-pitying sad bastard wallow, The Laughing Hyenas' "You Can't Pray a Lie" did the trick. Only it was 18 FUCKING YEARS AGO.

    To be fair though, my no-regrets breakup introspective pussy jams last time around were a steady rotation of Godspeed You Black Emperor & Red Sparowes.

  49. i know its not a particularly screamo crunk thing, but Kandyland by BrokeNCYDE has a kind of weird vibe to it which makes my feel like peacefully poisoning myself and falling asleep

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