It's like Abruptum, only with an undercut. In a trailer park.

I could try to write something more clever, but there is not much to say other than the obvious: In this video, some white trash kid plays a solo black metal show on the patio of his trailer.

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Oh to be young again

At first it's just him shrieking by himself, but later in the video he attempts to get some of the half-dozen people watching to scream "I hate people." I like the idea of mandatory audience participation, but not as much as I like his undercut. All he needs is an Ugly Kid Joe baja jacket and his look is complete.

The funniest part, though, is that the song is pretty sick, at least at the beginning-- it makes me think of, say, Abruptum meets Dystopia, and you could do a lot worse than that combination. Don't get me wrong, the kid has no talent and the song falls apart very quickly, but it starts on a promising note.

I just Photoshopped this, but I will pay a king's ransom for a garment like it if you ever come across one

But this intriguing video begs many questions: Where are the other band members? How did he force these 6 neighborhood teens to watch his performance?? What is he up to now? (I am guessing he drives a Frito-Lay delivery truck in the greater Indianapolis area) When will undercuts make a comeback????

Nocturno Culto Popping A Wheelie In Front Of His Castle

If there's one thing that all of us at Metal Inquisition love, it would have to be the first Crash Test Dummies album. Aside from that, we are all united by our love of footage featuring high-ranking figures in the metal world performing amazing physical feats. It's with that in mind that I present you with this long-awaited footage: Nocturno Culto popping a wheelie.






Not to be outdone, Fenriz posed for this picture as quickly as he could.



Thanks to John for the heads up.

Internet potpourri

Happy new year kids! Here are some recent finds from my most recent internet travels.



File under "When will every American Apparel store finally burn to the ground?"

Let's face it, we now live in a world where deep-v neck t-shirts reign supreme as the preferred article of clothing for men. As such, anyone who corners the market on such attire will surely control fashion and retail altogether. Enter, not the droids, but American Apparel. You know the place, the one were the effeminate dudes with mustaches work. Well, it seems they have recently caught on to this wild new musical style tearing up the charts, black metal. I believe Nicolas Cage's son may have tipped them off, to tell you the truth. What's next? Will fashion magazines use black metal as a theme for photoshoots?



Who tucks in a tshirt, especially one with printing on it? Godamn.


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File under "I told you so"


Only 15 years too late, fashion magazines are picking up on black metal as a theme for photo shoots. You see, I told you so! What's perhaps saddest about all this, is that somewhere in the rural U.S. some fatso with a Craddle Of Filth shirt and bondage pants is getting all pissed off about this. "How could they exploit my beloved musical style?", said fatso asks...when in reality, he should be asking "Why do I sweat gravy?"

I myself don't care. Not only do I not care, but I'm also not going to take great pride in having known about Dark Throne back in 1991. That's a bit like bragging about how you were the one that discovered the super disgusting piece of shit in a public bathroom. We know, we know, you were the first one to find it, and point out the pieces of corn in it. Hooray for you.


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File under "WTF"?
Actor Sir Christopher Lee (who played Dracula) is set to release a metal album. Lee holds the Guiness World Record for acting in the most movies with sword fights in them...so he's certainly no stranger to being rad, and being into Manowar. Mr. Dracula appears to be the British William Shatner, since he's put out numerous novelty songs and albums. You can check out some of his musical abilities here. He has also themed up with douchebags Rhapsody before. Check it:



Anyone remember the Pat Boone metal album?




Props to Mr John Prolly for the heads up on this one.


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