Metal Inquisition staffer Lucho Metales meets his hero.I'm amazed that this blog has been going for almost six months now and we've yet to talk about Mortiis. In all honesty, I don't know much about Mortiis or his music, but his whole black metal goblin schtick is brilliant and hilarious. I don't understand why he's even still associated with the black metal scene considering he was only in Emperor for a hot minute and his musical output since then has more in common with Depeche Mode than Bathory, but that's irrelevant. Just look at the fucking guy. He looks so goddamned ridiculous. He is the embodiment of all that is great/stupid about heavy metal and since we're all about laughing at the expense of others here at Metal Inquisition I present to you my top five all time favorite Mortiis videos, in no particular order.
1. Parasite God
This video features a topless Mortiis wandering through the desert and prancing around a castle over weak techno beats. If you took the worst Ministry song and multiplied it by a thousand that's what this sounds like.
2. Mental Maelstrom (Implode)
More shitty techno, but this time Mortiis is crawling through the walls and spying on a crowd of unsuspecting partygoers. It just so happens that the hot goth chicks partying are huge Mortiis fans and they can't keep their hands off of him or his bandmates. Lots of mesh and leather and touching.
3. Decadent and Desparate
More partying. This time Mortiis is strung out on the floor of a bathroom sans makeup after presumably having shot up heroin. He then wakes up chained to the ceiling of a warehouse and proceeds to be berated by Mortiis in full makeup. But who is the real Mortiis? Very postmodern. This song sounds like Nine Inch Nails, but worse.
4. The Grudge
In this video Mortiis and his band serenade a lucky maiden trapped in a box with a white translucent sheet drapped over it. This song rocks pretty hard. It reminds me of that band Filter.
5. Marshlands
This video is very artsy. It features lots of random footage edited together and makes no sense. It could very easily have been some college student's senior project. Sadly Mortiis is nowhere to be found.
As an added bonus enjoy this interview with Mortiis from Swedish television where they discuss how he lives in a castle, eats small children for breakfast, sleeps with wolves, and has thirteen toes!
