Monday, July 21, 2008

Kids Playing Metal (aka: Asian kids can play "Crazy Train" at an earlier age than non-Asian kids. Science says so.)

Yup, it's true. The reason why many of you weren't able to play "Crazy Train" when you were six is because you're not Asian. Don't believe it? Science says so. You see, Asian languages rely heavily on tonal differences, which lead Asian children to have absolute pitch (aka perfect pitch) more often than non-Asian kids. Watching this video makes me so jealous.

Note: After "Crazy Train", the video gets decidedly un-metal, unless you consider Eric Clapton Metal.

Compare that to this American kid playing Slayer. I know I sound like a jerk for making fun of him, but please compare the two. At first, you think the kid's double bass skills are pretty good. But then it starts to sound like a sack of potatoes falling down a set of steps.

In all these videos, you can almost see the parent aiming a gun at the kid, forcing him to play. Poor kids, destined to live out their stupid father's failed dreams of rocking out. At least the kids will have YouTube proof for their therapists one day.

But worry not Americans, this kid comes in and saves the day. He's also an aspiring Lombardo, but manages to play much better than the previous kid. Yes, his triplets need a little work, and he's a bit sloppy at times...but Lars Ulrich only wishes his playing was this tight. There is hope for the US of A after all.


  1. You know what's worse than all that? The guitar collection that fucking kid has.

    -Polka Dotted Flying V.
    -What is probably a golden years' Les Paul Standard.
    -Fender Mustang.

    And I bet that's just for starters. Am I jealous? Yes. At age 8 the only thing I had was a shitty Lefty 3 Pinos...

    ... of course, by nine I could play a mean Dyers' Eve, but still. Goddamned kid.

  2. I was an asian kid... and I have perfect pitch! :D

    Though starting piano at the age of 5 helps a lot.

  3. Now I get why the Asian countries generate so many good bands... All those Japanese hardcore bands full of talent. And let's not forget Death Angel and Dream Theater have some Asian members. Coincidence? You bet! Anyway, isn't it enough that the kid plays well to attract the masses? Do they need to put him to sing?? WTF!

  4. Both those kids drumming will be shredders in a couple of years, unless they discover rap.

  5. A lot of people have seen this, but just in case...
    Kansas ain't exactly metal, but this little girl could probably play for Sonata Arctica, or some other cheesoid Euro-prog-power band right now.
    And I thought I was on to something when I learned 'Orion' at 19...Oh the shame.

  6. In the Slayer one, is that a midi version playing quietly between the intro and the first riff?