Former GORGOROTH Frontman Named "Homosexual Of The Year!"

Gaahl posing with his 19-year-old "girlfriend" Robin Jakobsen.

I'm sure you've all noticed that we've become increasing lazy here at Metal Inquisition and our posting is infrequent at best. The truth is we're all very busy people, myself included. You see I finally signed up for Netflix and their watch instantly feature is taking over my life! I have a LOT of catching up to do with Doctor Who and the final season of L O S T just started, so I can't promise that I'll be posting with any sort of regularity in the near future, but still, from time to time there comes a post that practically writes itself that I simply cannot resist and this is one of those posts.

According to Blabbermouth, everyone's favorite gay black metaller and former Gorgoroth vocalist, Gaahl, was recently voted "Homosexual of the Year" at the Bergen Gay Galla. "Various awards were presented to persons and institutions that have contributed to the gay community in Bergen, Norway." I don't know how many gays there are in Bergen, but I'm going to guess that there's quite a few and our man Gaahl beat them all to win the most prestigious award! Congratulation, Gaahl, you earned it!

Now go here to read the hilarious Google translation of a Norwegian newspaper article about Gaahl and his 19-year-old "girlfriend."

See you guys next month for my in-depth review of the new Burzum album!

I'm starting a band

Back when I played in a band (early to mid 90s) finding members to join in your musical escapades was difficult. More often than not, my brother and I simply reached out to people we already knew, and asked them to join our amazing musical projects. This is the relationship equivalent of dating your friends. We never opted for the equivalent of a personals ad (which would be a listing in a local paper, or the dreaded flyer at the guitar shop). Today, pretty much everything has changed by virtue of the darned interweb. Through Facebook, Craigslist, eHarmony and J-Date...people all over the world are gettin' it on with amazing efficiency. Since I always dream of starting a sweet band, I've chosen to use the interweb as my shopping tool, in order to find the ideal members for my new side project. What do you think?





Okay, so he flubs a few notes, and has one of the chords wrong on the main riff...but check out his commitment to the tune. I mean, the guy has an Ipod on a strap strictly for the purposes of practicing. I think he'd be a great addition.





This guy is a winner all the way. Rumor has it, he can crabwalk even better than Robert Trujillo, and he can do so in 7" heels. Beat that!






This girl is proof that the level of musicianship amongst today's youngsters has risen so far it's not even funny. When I was in a grindcore band, anyone who could play a simple blast beat for about ten seconds, or do pinch harmonics was a god. Jesus, times have changed.






Being gay AND Filipino must be super hard...just ask Kirk Hammett, he's already lost most of his hair due to the stress of living that way.

Introducing: Budget Italian Power Metal

A gregarious bunch of leather daddies or a budget Italian power metal band? You decide!

I know that making fun of Italian metal is easy. It's like when the two inbred main characters have sex with the retarded girl in Gummo. It's almost too easy, but I just can't help myself. See, a while back the Sarge introduced us to the world of budget slam metal, perhaps best exemplified by Artery Eruption, and now I'd like to introduce you to the kings of budget Italian power metal--Kaledon. These Roman warriors have displayed an undying allegiance to all things lo-fi and low-budget that has left them unchallenged atop the steaming pile of shit that is budget Italian power metal.



Here we see the crowd (all two of them) going wild as Kaledon performs their smash hit "Spirit of the Dragon." A force of nature, Kaledon is best experienced live as the sheer sonic force of their performances have been credited with causing at least a half dozen suicides across the Lazio region.



This reminds me of the kind of picture I would expect to see hanging up in the dining room of any number of my Italian family members. You see Italian dining rooms are not actually meant for dining, they're more for show. That's where you display all the wonderful useless shit you got at your wedding 30 years ago like your gigantic china closet filled with fine china you never use--you know, the good stuff--along with your crystal and your special silverware (the kind that's actually made of silver). You'll usually also find an enormous dining table covered in a gawdy white lace tablecloth some grandmother spent a lifetime making. If your Italian family is anything like mine then the dining table chairs are probably hermetically sealed in plastic and will never be exposed to the elements. And no matter how big of a loser he may be, an Italian mother will always be proud of her son because he is her pride and joy and so she will have several photo albums worth of embarassing pictures of him and she will gladly display a picture from his first communion right next to the picture he took with his friends out near the Roman Aqueduct while dressed like a gang of child molesting Renaissance fairies in a gigantic gold plated frame. Mama is especially proud of that 12 inch boner you're smuggling in your leather pants.



More often than not "serious musicians" are all business, but not the ragazzi of Kaledon! It's refreshing to see that the boys can just as easily spend a day relaxing in the studio, joking around and having a good time instead of spending hours carefully trimming their facial hair while their little sister repeatedly bangs on the bathroom door because she has to pee and dad yells to finish jerking off and get out of the bathroom because he has to take a shit.

One thing you could never accuse Kaledon of doing is progressing. Just look at the cover of their debut album, Legend of the Forgotten Reign - Chapter 1: The Destruction.



Now take a look at the cover of their most recent album, 2008's Legend of the Forgotten Reign - Chapter 5: A New Era Begins.



From the unforgettable amateur paintbrush to the utterly forgettable amateur computer illustration, Kaledon is never content to rest on their laurels. They've never let their complete and utter lack of talent stop them before so why start now?

I'd like to leave you with what I think is the most compelling piece of evidence in the case for Kaledon's budget Italian power metal supremacy--the music video for their hit single "The New Kingdom." I could spend days tearing apart every frame, but instead let me just point out how proud they are of their packages as we once again see a band member proudly displaying his manhood in his way-too-tight white linen pants. It's impossible not to notice the tremendously low production values of this video, but it's obvious that the men of Kaledon make up for what they lack financially with their boundless enthusiasm for their horrible music. It's hard not to admire that kind of dedication. Against all odds and good sense, Kaledon endures and to that I must say--forza, Kaledon!



As an added bonus for our Italian speaking readers enjoy this equally retarded parody video:

Cynic/Meshuggah, 2.19.2009. Thoughts and Observations

I don't go to many shows anymore. It's not that I don't enjoy seeing live bands, it's just that my priorities have changed as I've aged. Whereas back in my college years I would happily pile into a car with friends and attend just about any show happening within fifty miles, nowadays I'd rather spend my Friday nights sitting in front of the television watching Battlestar Galactica DVDs with a mug of Stash Moroccan Mint Green Tea in my hand. Not exactly the most exciting way to spend a Friday night, I know, but for me it's entirely satisfying. Last Thursday, however, I was motivated to leave the comforts of my home to do something I never thought I'd be able to do--see Cynic live.


I'm a HUGE Cynic fan, ask any of the Metal Inquisition Staffers. I've been listening to Focus and the '91 demo religiously for years. I'm not ashamed to say that when I heard that Cynic was re-forming I shrieked with joy like a teenage girl that's just been offered a deflowering by Robert Pattison. I was a little apprehensive when I heard that they were recording a new album and more than ready to throw myself on a sword if said album sucked and ended up ruining their legacy. Shockingly enough, Traced in Air turned out to be quite possibly the greatest reunion album in the history of music. Against all the odds, Paul Masvidal, Sean Reinert, and Sean Malone (What the fuck does Jason Gobel have going on that he's too good to re-join the band?) managed to make an album that sounds exactly like what I imagine Cynic would sound like in 2009 if they had never broken up. They've dialed down the death metal and turned up the prog and fusion influences, but it still sounds like Cynic. There's still sweet riffs, soaring guitar solos, amazing drumming, and vocoder. So when I heard that they'd be playing Irving Plaza, which is a mere twenty minute train ride from my apartment, I immediately purchased a ticket.


I managed to time my departure perfectly as I arrived just as Cynic was preparing to play so I didn't have to sit through the shitty opening band, The Faceless, who I've never seen nor heard, but I'm sure sucks. I quickly ascended to the balcony and staked out a spot along the railing to the left of the stage. The place was PACKED. The show was completely sold out. As I looked around I couldn't help but notice the motley crowd. Lots of virgins, some legit bangers, meatheads, Hot Topic shoppers, and quite a few norms. The dude standing behind me was wearing a leather motorcycle jacket with a denim vest over it proudly displaying a Metallica patch on his front breast pocket and he kept making fun of Cynic. Motherfucker. Anyway, from the second Cynic hit the stage they killed it. They looked and sounded great. They played behind a huge banner with the band logo and these standees with the Traced in Air cover art. It was totally surreal. I lost my shit when they started playing "Veil of Maya." Watching Sean Reinert play is any drum nerd's wet dream and Paul Masvidal wailed his ass off. The scab bass player was kinda hard to watch and the scab guitarist was relegated to playing in the shadows. They played a bunch of new songs, which all sounded awesome, and Paul gave a little speech about how the band had come full circle by playing this show because the last show Cynic played before breaking up in '94 was in New York. They also played "Celestial Voyage" and "I'm But A Wave To." I'm still bummed they didn't play "Uroboric Forms" and the dude in front of me kept shouting "Pleading for Preservation," which I knew wasn't going to happen, but at least they did play "How Could I." The last solo in that song is probably my all time favorite and it never fails to move me (no homo). They only played for about a half hour, but I'm not about to complain because any live Cynic is better than no live Cynic.


To my surprise quite a few people cleared out once Cynic's set was over. I, on the other hand and against my better judgement, decided to stay and watch some of Meshuggah's set. I really liked Meshuggah in high school, but once I grew out of liking shitty music I stopped listening to them. I really just wanted to hear "Future Breed Machine" which is the only Meshuggah song I know and admit to liking. Let me tell you, people REALLY like Meshuggah. The second they started playing the entire place went fucking nuts. I haven't seen that many retards moshing since E-Town Concrete's "farewell" show. Needless to say, I couldn't take much of those chodes so I decided to bounce after a couple songs. I should also mention that during Meshuggah's set I constantly kept looking over at this really hot girl standing across from me that looked like Amy Winehouse. She was rave dancing throughout their entire set. Before leaving I took a piss and there was a can of Budweiser and a turd floating in the toilet. I'm pretty sure I saw Lord Ezec AKA Danny Diablo enter the restroom as I was leaving.

Great moments in art history: Black Metal paintings

Here we see curators hanging one of these priceless pieces of art at the Louvre.

As much as my writings for this blog have been hailed by critics as being both groundbreaking AND insightful, I know that all the praise could easily dissipate as a result of one bad post. My internet fame could collapse like a house of cards that gets knocked over by the seismic activity created by Shane Embury walking nearby. Why bring this up? Because I'm sometimes afraid of posting something that the entire M.I. readership has already seen elsewhere. This, by the way, is very possible, since I'm rather disconnected from most metal activities online. This is a particular concern of mine when it comes to anything relating to black metal. Look, I know and understand that black metal and making fun of it is old news. You see, whereas in other households the phrase "like taking candy from a baby" is often used, in my house we say "like making fun of black metal."

Having said this, I simply felt I had to share this amazing artwork with all of you, even if some have already seen it. Under each painting I will give my critique.



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A challenging piece for the viewer to take in, to say the least. The terracotta tones (perhaps an homage to postmodernist architect Michael Graves?) ground the figures, while their scale clue us into the artists take on the subject matter. Not since Andy Warhol's erotic films have homosexual characters been depicted in such a manner.

Not content to merely use traditional symmetry as a way of creating balance, the artist has opted for the asymmetry common in modern art, as well as modern architecture. The quality of the facial features shows us that we are looking at true outsider art, perhaps the work of a retarded person, a monkey, or a homeless man...or Danny Spitz and his googly eye. Reminiscent of Mies Van Der Rohe's early floorplans, the characters slide past each other, much like walls did in his Barcelona Pavillion. Somewhere between abstraction and respresentational painting, this piece not only challenges, but also shatters pre-existing notions about art and artistic depiction. Had this guy been around when Demolition Hammer was putting out their first album, he totally would have gotten the comission.


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Much like Franz Kline's seemingly brute black and white canvasses, this piece speaks not only to our humanity, but also to our brutality. The duality of the black and white brushstrokes seem to hint at the hidden characteristics of the music it speaks of, while connecting with the viewer at a visceral level. The laughable proportions, lack of chin and asymmetric visage may seem erroneous, but are in reality a statement about man's inhumanity to man....or perhaps the artist needs glasses. One is also left to wonder "why are his nostrils so damn small?" The artists is taking a gutsy approach (to say the least) in specializing in portraiture, when he clearly has severe problems sizing up even the simplest of human features, but is that not the same for most black metal bands? They can't play their instruments, and yet they go on playing. Go figure.

This piece also has a slight connection to Demolition Hammer. How you ask? Does the angle of the face look familiar? Just look at the image below, which clearly served as inspiration.







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Exaggerated proportions and interesting brush technique speak to varying visual references, primarily the later work of Andrew Wyeth, as well as more banal visuals...such as the runny quality of a drunken hobo's diarrhea. The wispy quality of the brushstrokes is clearly influenced by Wyeth's work, and his depiction of prairie grass in his haunting masterpiece "Christina's World." Perhaps serving as a statment about the childlike nature of black metal's musical complexity, this portrait features the nose of a baby, thus layering meaning within the painting.






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Drawing upon visual cues from different areas of design and artistic expression, this piece is perhaps the artist's strongest statement. Not content merely making visual references to the work of assorted modern masters, the artist goes one step beyond and references the unlikely world of automotive design. Clearly influenced by the work of designer Chris Bangle (the rear of the BMW 5 series in particular) the subject's features seem to converge onto a single point...as though he has just eaten a very sour lemon. The extremely short length of the subject's chain is also worth mentioning, as it looks more like a choker from the Delia's catalog circa 1996.

Although much of Chris Bangle's work for BMW has been criticized, his impact on automotive design is undeniable...much like Possessed's album Seven Churches.

Another possible use of allegory by the artist is the repetition of the upside down cross. What is he trying to tell us? Perhaps it's a simple reference to the recurring pitchfork shape that is clearly seen in Grant Wood's "American Gothic."

Note the pitchfork shape, which is repeated both in the overall's pocket, as well as upside down in the top window of the house.

Metal Inquisition's Second Photo Caption Contest

I was very, very tempted to post the not work-safe version of this picture here, but I decided not to. If you're ready to see the amazingly great not work-safe version of the picture, click here. As you'll see, I probably could have posted the original version since there's not much to it.

Post your captions, and when doing so please note that Kirk's left hand seems to be rubbing furiously inside his robe while he stares directly at Metallica's tiniest member (double entendre). Poor Steve Harris and his mom jeans got stuck in the cross fire.

I'll go first, and get some of the obvious ones out of the way:

Sad But True
The Shortest Straw

SPECIAL SUNDAY EDITION: Gorgoroth's Gaahl comes out of the closet—puts Rob Halford to shame

You read the headline right. The Skeletor-faced Gorgoroth singer has come out of the closet, and boy has he done so in style! Not content with merely coming out of the closet by letting people know his sexual orientation, he has basically done so while wearing one of Liberacce's capes, singing showtunes and practicing dance routines from A Chorus Line. Not since this (not work safe) picture of Profanatica have the worlds of black metal and homosexuality blended so effortlessly. How black metal fans around the world will react to the news remains to be seen, and will be interesting to see, since black metalers have not exactly been the most open bunch to such things. Didn't a dude in some band go to jail for attacking a gay man in the 90s? (Sadly, yes. It was this douche.)


So, here are the details. It has been reported that Gaahl and his man, modeling agent Dan DeVero, are working on a fashion line that will debut in 2009. So, not only is Gaahl gay, he's also a fashion designer, and he appears to be into twinks who wear fur.


All of this is being reported by Blabbermouth, though the Gorgoroth sites (there's two bands with the same name right now remember?) make no mention of it. Could it be? It certainly makes for good conversation. Anyway, the fashion line that the two will launch is called Wynjo, which according to Gaahl is

an ancient Norse word meaning happiness, or to be more precise, the search for happiness. Perfection. I have always been preoccupied with aesthetics and what is beautiful.

Ancient Norse? Way to butch up the fact that you're designing women's clothing. Nice. In response to the news, Dani Filth commented:

I don't care if he sleeps with men. But the fact is, it's not just a man — it's a fashion designer, and they're making women's summer dresses together. I mean, it just could not get funnier, could it? Here's this guy [Gaahl] who lives on a mountain — he's the most evil guy in the world, right?

The news certainly explains Gaahl's anger (have you see that VBS documentary?), I mean, can you imagine being a closeted gay man in, living rural Norway, singing for a black metal band? You'd be angry too! Good for him for coming out, maybe he'll be a happier guy, and maybe he'll go to jail for torturing people a bit less now. As I see it, this bit of news certainly puts the 2002 case where Gaahl went to jail for torturing a man into perspective, especially when you take into account that part of the torture included the man's testicles (according to information revealed in the VBS documentary.)

When news about Rob Halford being gay came out some years back, everyone began to see song names like Hell Bent For Leather and album titles like Ram It Down very differently, as well as Rob's entire style of dress. So, was Gaahl sending out similar signs that all of us should have noticed? Let's take a closer look.



THE SIGNS

Wearing a fancy belt over a nice top? An unusual, but tasteful choice. TLC's What Not To Wear folks would certainly approve.




This image has been on the Gorgoroth site for some time now. He must like it rough.

Having lots of naked dudes on stage should have been a giveaway to all of us, but notice how he tried to make it hetero by having some girls crucified as well. Inconclusive, but we should have known.

Perhaps the most powerful signs that Gaahl was sending out came via his song titles. I leave you with these Gorgoroth song titles so you can think about them for a bit. See you Monday.

Teeth Grinding
Unchain My Heart
When Love Rages In My Wild Heart

and the best, and now most amazing Gorgoroth song title ever?

Blood Stains the Circle.

Metal Photo Analysis—A collection of metal photography from around the interweb (Part 2)

As this picture was taken, a father turned to his concerned wife during a quiet dinner and said the following:

"Oh, will you relax Estelle! Jason's just away at college having a good time, it's not like he's letting his friends crucify him upside-down in order to parade him around the dorm."

Please note that the guy getting crucified is wearing sandals, in order to make the whole thing that much more realistic. Bravo. Others would have just worn their white New Balance walking shoes and called it a day.



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Memo
To: Aspiring Teenage Black Metallers
From: Black Metal Governing Body (BMGB)
Re: Make-up

As the BMGB has stated before (see Memo #3651), the differences between the make-up required to be an evil black metaller, a mime, a juggalo and a clown may seem slight...but they are crucial. First, please remember to follow the very important 60-40 rule (roughly 60% must be black or white, with the remaining 40% being the other color) and remember not to pose in front of your grandma's floral drapes for band pictures. We admire your use of the "holding two evil grapefruits" pose, but we must also remind you that the use of top-hats is absolutely banned, and best left to 75 year old Jewish women like Alice Cooper. Thank you for your cooperation.

When you think about it, a clown like this way is actually way creepier and more evil than any black metal douche will ever be. Why? Because as this picture was taken he was on the phone, even though he was roaming....which will incur unbelievable roaming charges to be paid by his employer (who pays for his phone bill). Is that not evil? I think it is.

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This is what happens when you leave your pet black metal band out in the backyard while it's raining. The band gets all wet and sad-looking. Lesson learned? Bring your pet black metal band indoors before its plumage gets all droopy.

By the way, if I ever find the photographer who took this shot, I'm gonna' have a few words with him. Why on earth would he crop out the guy on the left (barely visible) who is clearly a pioneer in the arena of Victorian-Black Metal fashion? If there's one thing I love about pseudo black metal bands, it's their flair for mixing in dabs of victorian, goth and gay fashion in. These guys went ahead and brought in bridal fashion, pirate fashion and topped it off with a dark blue rain poncho. Amazing.



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1. Is that the tiny microphone that comes with Rock Band?
2. Laser hair removal. Look it up. I mean, who has hair on the underside of their forearms? This guy must be part monkey, or Italian. Oh, that's the same thing. Sorry.
3. Note the extremely straight, and perfect line in which his chest hair ends. Ugh.
4. Tasteful ceiling fan. I love its ornate, detailed body, with its Tuscan-inspired patina finish.




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I can't even begin to make fun of these guys. My brother and I would have willingly given up our thumbs to know dudes like this,and be their friends back in 1989. Come to think of it, I would still kill to be their friend today. The guy furthest to the right gets points deducted for not wearing high-tops (is he going to church or something?), but the rest of the dudes are pretty much the coolest guys I've ever seen. The only thing missing from the picture to make it the raddest dudes ever circa 1987-89? A skateboard.


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Could someone, anyone, send a memo to all black metal bands clearly outlining the delicate, yet obvious boundaries between evil attire, and S&M gay leather-bar gear? It's bad enough that teenagers are already wearing clown make-up thinking it's black metal...but this is ridiculous. The Black Metal Governing Body really has to get on this stuff, or black metal will become a joke. Wait, it already has.


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At first, you look at this picture and think there's little wrong with it. Then you look closer and see the following:
1. Police tape guitar strap. Why? Because his slap-bass skillz are KILLER!
2. Denim shorts? Really? Jesus, I thought that by the time a Will Farrell movie (Talladega Nights) made fun of something, everyone knew it was time to retire these things.
3. Mexican singer dude has fingerless gloves that say "love" and "hate" on the knuckles. Wearing these things is pretty much like wearing one of those bodysuits that makes it look like you have tattoos when you don't.



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I can't take credit for the Photoshop work on this one. I would have done a better job, and would never let the word "covering" be hyphenated. Still, it's pretty good. By the way, I thought we had all agreed on the "facial hair doesn't mix with black metal make-up" rule. No?


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God damn! Is there a "Turbo" button in the Japanese* psyche that allows them to take any element of a sub-culture to the extreme? If so, I want a "Turbo" button. Check out the names of the band members:

Freddy, Left Face of Maradou
The pseudo black metal equivalent of TLC's Lisa Left-Eye Lopez

Doris, Thunder Tears
Her name comes from the ongoing crying fits that are brought on when she's told that she's the only female member due to regulations in the world of pop black metal which clearly state that one member must be a female.

Dani, Azathothian Hands
Azathoth is a fictional character created by HP Lovecraft...I'm guessing he had way evil hands.

CJ, Dispersed Fingers
I guess his fingers are spread far apart or something? Is that evil? What's the deal with these guys being so obsessed with fingers and hands?

Su-Nung, The Bloody String
Yes, that's the guy's actual name. Here at M.I. we like to keep things classy. As such, we'll let the readers insert their own joke about tampons here.


Lastly, Check out the haircut on the guy standing on the top right of the picture. Remind you of anyone? He's like the Rachael of black metal


* Yes, it's been pointed out that Chthonic are actually from Taiwan...but saying they're from Japan is funnier.

Sonic Violence: Metal's Answer To Right Said Fred

As we have stated here at M.I. before, the Hard N' Heavy Grindcore compilation was an extremely important landmark in the world of death metal. Not really. Still, that damn video continues to deliver joy every single time we watch it. Pretty amazing feat, since it was more than 15 years ago that each of us bought it at our local mall's Suncoast store.

Yes, the name of the video was largely incorrect ("Boring Death Metal To Fall Asleep To" would have been more accurate), the animation was laughable, and many of the bands were awful. But hey, you have to break some eggs to make an omelette. By far one of the greatest eggs to be broken in order for this great metal omelette was Sonic Violence. Many critics have argued that Cerebral Fix was the lowest point in the video, and perhaps those critics are right. But when it comes to sheer stupidity, musical madness, Right Said Fred-like fashion choices and extremely quotable content, Sonic Violence are the kings.


As you watch the video below, note that they have to use two bass players in order to replicate the heaviness of their prior bass player. Perhaps they should have looked into having one bass player use something a bit more substantial than a damn Peavy 2 x12! (Hence my use of the "budget metal" label.)

Evil D Arrested in Italy

A candid shot of Evil D and his prison bitch, Alessandro.

If you've ever been to Italy, then you know that Italians do not fuck around when it comes to airport security. They may not be able to win a war or protect their borders, but you cannot fuck with an Italian airport. There's carabinieri all over the place casually packing fully automatic firearms and I cannot tell you how many times I've had my luggage ransacked for no reason other than to make my life miserable.  It's no surprise then to find out that one of our favorite 90s death metal retards, David Vincent AKA Evil D, was arrested and charged with a weapons offence for carrying a bullet belt (Thanks to our loyal reader Jason for the tip). You can read the full Metal Hammer article about the incident here. Having personally spent many hours in Italian airports I cannot tell you how amusing I find this whole incident. I can totally picture airport security pulling the bullet belt out of Evil D's luggage, inspecting it, looking at each other, him pleading with them that it's not made of real bullets, then them whispering something to each other and within seconds 15-20 carabinieri swarming Evil D and escorting him to a holding cell. I'm not surprised that they questioned him for two and a half hours. When it comes to matters of airport security, Italians like to be thorough. When asked for a comment on the situation Evil D responded in his characteristic dickhead manner. "For 20 years I've had my same friendly bullet belt with me at all metal occasions. After 20 years of being a lawless individual, I'm happy that the Keystone Kops of spaghetti western fame have been able to show me the error of my ways." I'm sure it's that kind of attitude that got him into this fine mess in the first place. He's lucky the Italians are such understanding, forgiving people. In foreign countries around the world people have been brought before firing squads for much less!

Evil D going over the lyrics to a new song entitled "Eradication of the Etruscans."

TORA, TORA, TORA! NIHON-JIN RAISHU! - 日本人来襲!!!

X-Japan are a rad Japanese band from the 80's. They are like the Nitro of the Land of the Rising Sun. I really like them and I rediscovered them in the last 2 months. They've been blasting in my office since. Anyway, I saw an awesome post on an Indonesian blog about a year ago and I thought you'd enjoy it. Nothing makes me laugh more than badly written English, which is funny 'cuz English is like my third language and I'm sure others laugh at my sad attempts to write it correctly.

This post may seem like MI staffers are becoming lazy. Afterall, it's nothing more than a repost from another blog. But it wasn't as easy as it sounds. First of all I had to find it again. I had seen this post months and months ago and it took me about 10 minutes to find it. That's like 4 years in Google time, you see? Second of all, I had to edit it for content. Finally I had to research all the facts, make sure all the information within was reliable and factual. I'm kidding, I didn't really do any of that.

Enjoy...

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This band was occur since 1982 as the same year I born. I get to knew them in the year of 2003. I still remeber one of my colleague borrow me the Mp3 of X-Japan CD. It was quite awful when I starting to hear thier music but no choicelah coz my work place PC crash so have to format all over again and my mp3 all gone. I am so addicted to Japanese song although I dunno what the hell they are singing. So this were the first Japanese Heavy Metal band I have heard.

There were the 1st Japanese Heavy Metal Band in Japan. Very classical band with Benimaru(KOF) hair style, I am still wondering how they made thier hair stand so high like that.


I dunno what is the reason they make me so addicted to thier musics and yet thier music have been already 20 years already. Maybe is because the fast rythm of the musics make me crazy about it song such as Blue Blood, rusty nails, jealousy and Dahlia. And they also have ballad such as Endless rain, Forever Love and Longing.

From Left to right: Hide(Eguitar), Toshi(vocal), Yoshiki(drum and piano), Pata(Eguitar) and Heath(bass)

Thier History:

X-Japan were one of first visual band in Japan and also most popular. They start in teh middle 80’s with the union of school friends Yoshiki (drums and piano) and Toshi (vocals). After that the joined with a couple other guys and formed band X.
They release two singles ‘I Will Kill You’ and ‘Orgasm’ and made to two compilacions albums with other Japanese new comer bands. At this time Pata (guitar) and Taiji (bass) is joined the band.
In 1988 they make their effort first album ‘Vanishing Vision’ and hire second guitarists, Hide. The album was released on Yoshiki news record label Extasy. It was a great success and they change to Sony records. More albums (’Blue Blood’ and ‘Jealousy’) and more touring hapend.
With Jealousy tour they tried to come out in America, but no one there wanted this visual bands like this. They renamed the band in X-Japan because in America there was already punks band called X. The band hads great success in Japan and the members also makes solo projects.
At this time Taiji (bass) left the band and was replace with Heath. Yoshiki wrote the 23 minutes long song ‘Art Of Life’ which was the first records on the new label Atlantic Records.
In 1996 finally came their last album ‘Dahlia’. In the spring of 1997 Toshi (vocals) decided to quit the band for ‘artistic and religous reasons’, so they announced their disbanding in September 1997. They make a final Goodbye concert in December in this year. Members made diferent solo projects. In 1998 a terible tragedy happen. Hide commit suicide for very unknown reason. The fans were shocked and sadend with melacholy and memory. Yoshiki draw back from public. In 2000 he starte a comeback with his project Violet UK.

Here come thier video:




These guys are the godfather of jrock, so even if you don’t like their musics style, they still demand your respect for sure. Without X, there would be NO jrock and Americans musics would certainly be affected in more ways than one.


It was so sad one of thier member has pass away(Hide) and so thier band also break of as well . Bye …..Legend of J-rock.

Paul Stanely: Stage Banter All-Star

The entire Metal Inquisition staff is committed to finding the very best in stage banter for the enjoyment of all our readers. As such, it was only a matter of time before we put together a multi-media presentation to share the magic that is Paul Stanley on stage. Listen and be amazed by his effeminate antics, his homoerotic commentary and his vaudeville-style black accent. Even if you are not a Kiss fan, this one is a must. Enjoy.