Thursday, August 20, 2009

Bands to watch for: Corn

When I say the word "metal," what do you think of? Probably the same things I do: Charvel guitars, slap bass, wearing your own band's shirts, and having a job at a carwash. But there is more to metal than just thrash, as the upcoming California band Corn proves. They play an innovative style of new-metal that doesn't just regurgitate all the familiar cliches we have come to associate with metal, but instead introduces a whole new set of conventions that we think will be met with both critical and popular acclaim.


This is a DIY video they put up on their MySpace to create buzz around their band. The quality is a little rough because my friend Carlos did it as the final project in his video production class at Shoreline Community College but don't let that distract you. Please make a bulletin about it if you want to support them!!
Alts, bangers, or wiggers?
Like Biohazard, it is kind of hard to say exactly what Corn sounds like because they are pretty much doing their own thing. The only band I could really compare them to is Bloodlet, because they both play down-tuned, sludgy songs about how you hate yourself. But unlike Bloodlet, who are kind of derivative and unoriginal, Corn adds a lot of elements to the mix that make them much more interesting.

This is the bassist's zine. It isn't really like your typical music zine, it's mostly personal stuff about going to church, thoughts on straightedge, etc. It is either 2 stamps or a trade. He is on #hardcore a lot and really friendly!!

Sometimes I think that they are an alternative band like Stone Temple Pilots because there are lots of parts where the singer talks about how nobody likes him, his stepdad is a fucking shitbag, and how he has low self-esteem. He probably got stuffed in his locker a lot in high school. But when the jocks would mess with him, instead of fighting back he would just put on a big forced smile and fake-laugh at them because he wanted to make it seem like he was above all of it and it didn't really bother him. He would just let them push him around like he didn't care, like he was soooo over the whole bully thing that it didn't phase him at all.

Corn is the world's first post-racial band. The singer for Corn's fur-lined track suit transcends their race and sends the message, "Skin color doesn't matter." The fat guy on the upper left is like "Yo, what's up!!" and the guy in the shades is all, "Dawg, don't fuck with this unless you want ya wig split."

But actually, he would skip his last class ("Applied Math II") and go home and put his pillow over his face and scream as loud as he could "I FUCKING HATE YOU FUCKERS!!! FUCK YOU!!!!" because he saw this one cute semi-gothic girl that he likes watching him get stuffed in the locker. She wears cut-off denim shorts with those black-and-white tights underneath with Doc Martens, he ran into her once at a midnight showing of "Rocky Horror Picture Show" and felt like they had a really good vibe.

The singer for Corn is wearing sequined track pants (although it looks like a lot of the sequins have fallen off). I think he is trying to say to all the bullies/stepdads who picked on him, "LOL @ you guys, I'm proud of being a 'freak'. I own this image, and I'm gonna be popular with it." But still he wants you to know that he is kind of vulnerable, which is why he is holding himself and swaying. The scars have not completely healed.

Also I bet his stepdad is like the dad from The Wonder Years, and was really disappointed when his son said he didn't want to play football. He probably came home from work one day all pissed off because he does framing/roofing and his foreman is a fucking asshole, and was like "Hey if all you're going to do is sit around my house and listen to Slipknot, get me a fucking beer!" Then the singer for Corn is all, "Fuck you, you're not my real dad!!" And his stepdad turns all red and pushes him up against the wall and is like "You think you can take me on you fuckin' pussy?!" and slaps him. The singer for Corn starts to cry and his stepdad is like, "If you're gonna act like a little bitch then I'll treat you like one!!" and sticks his finger in the singer for Corn's butt. I am not sure but I think that's what the Corn song "Clown" is about.

Corn's first demo, has a creepy pornogrind kind of vibe on the cover. They are from the same area as The Meat Shits.

But they also seem like they like metal, because a lot of the songs are really dissonant and heavy. I feel like they are probably big noisecore fans because on the record there isn't even a bass player. In the parts where most bands would have the bass, they just have these weird sounds that remind me of pieces of metal clanking together. It seems like something 7 Minutes of Nausea would do. They have a guy who plays with them live and does "noise/effects" and sometimes uses a bass to make the clanking sounds, I don't know how he does it. He's probably into circuitbending or whatever and rewired the whole bass.

This isn't finished yet, but I did this Corn poster in my "New Media III" class. I want to rework the highlights on the alien's skin when I have time (probably not until spring break).

Also, are they Mexis? I can't tell. Some of them look like it, but they could also just be wiggers who work outside doing manual labor so they are really tan. I don't really see a lot of Mexis with cornrows, and usually the only people you see with dreadlocks are rapey white pot dealers. They will ask you if you want to come over to their place to smoke some fatty dank nuggets and watch "The Wall" but really they just want to feel you up in their van, then when you're like "Fuck you, get off of me" they laugh and as you're getting out of the van, they're all, "Ass, grass, or cash, nobody rides for free!!" and drive off to go get some Taco Bell and find a pay phone so they can call all the people who paged them.

The bassist plays an upright bass, like the guy from The Stray Cats. I think it's really cool and original that they even incorporate elements of rockabilly into their sound/image. Also, I guess it's just the light or something, but it looks like there are 5 strings on his bass, LOL!




Here is an interview I did with Corn for my "Video Production I" class. Sorry I talked so much, I'm not used to being on camera and I got a little nervous and couldn't shut up. I laughed so hard when the one guy said his named was Fieldy Snuts (like "Feel These Nuts/Testicles" LOL!!!), that guy is so funny and crazy!!

What's next for Corn?
At the risk of sounding like a fanboi, I think Corn could be next Infectious Grooves (another genre-bending California band who I will cover in a future edition of Bands to Watch For). They would need to develop a charismatic mascot like Sonic, Bubsy, or Poochie, but I think the alien I made for the poster above would work perfectly so that's not really a problem. I just feel like the time is right for new-metal to break through into the mainstream, what with Desert Storm and the failure of the DotComs making everybody so nervous about the future. Corn's anger and vulnerability mirror the way that we all feel in these uncertain times.

I looked on WebMD and it said that hair loss and bloating in someone as young as the singer for Corn can be indicators of really serious illnesses like GRIDS.

The only thing I see potentially holding them back is the singer for Corn's health. I'm worried that being in a young band that is building a strong local following has led him into an unhealthy lifestyle. Because their music combines intense minor key riffs with dark lyrical themes, it seems like it probably attracts a lot of troubled young adults with low self-esteem, which means it would be really easy for an older dude in a moderately popular band to have sex with them. Since he hasn't accepted Christ into his heart yet I can see how that would be really tempting and probably put him in a lot of really bad situations and lead to tensions in the band.

"Life Is Peachy" 7" (Wild Rags). This one is easier to find than the demo but I think the production is a little too polished, kind of like how the Excruciating Terror LPs weren't as good as the demos and 7"s because they were overproduced.

Recommended listening
Corn has a demo and a 7" out. Both are excellent but I recommend the demo if you can find it. It's especially rad if you have a good system in your car. My friend Carlos, who made the "Blind" video at the top of the page, has a bomb-ass system in his Integra GS-R. We'll put the demo in his tape player and go to the Everett Mall and just chill in the parking lot or drive up Casino Road. Every time one of the bass drops hits people are all, "Damn what is that, it must be Def Bass Krew!!" but then the singer for Corn starts screaming and they're all like "Oh snap, I didn't know rock could bump like that!!" and we're like "What's up now, bitches!!" and give them the gasface.

Corn on MySpace

42 comments:

  1. Seriously the worst fucking band of all time, not even one redeeming moment of decent music in their whole library!
    I have always hated these fucking douchebags, when I think of this bands crimes against music, I always think to myself "Hey kid, what did melody ever do to you"!?
    I have always said even the worst band can write one decent song (hello Pink Floyd) but these guys are just fucking shit, and I always wept for the future of music when I saw 15 yr old douchebags in the mall or vacating the nearest Hot Topic store wearing their shirts!!!!
    The jokes on you kids, and you have been fucking fooled!
    When assholes say Faith No More is the beginning of rap and nu-metal, I have to laugh at these assholes, Mike Patton can fucking SING!
    Jon Davis cannot! The worst, all their fans who claim they can relate cause they are in pain too, resulting in their pseudo-goth "everyone hates me cause I'm misunderstood" attitude should fucking just end it already!
    And these losers should shut up about the hell of their adolescent lives since they have capitalised into the fucking millions on it!
    Fuck Staind too! Every kid who never had the balls to listen to death metal or real extremity always acted like these cunts were so over the top cause the singer makes hyena noises!

    DIE YOU CUNTS!

    Oh yeah....FIRST POST MOTHERFUCKERS!

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  2. Awesome post dude, I remember listening to Korn all the time, I still occasionally break out "got the life"!

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  3. I stole their debut album (not bad actually) when I was a Tower Records clerc in La Jolla...

    "They will ask you if you want to come over to their place to smoke some fatty dank nuggets and watch "The Wall" but really they just want to feel you up in their van, then when you're like "Fuck you, get off of me" they laugh and as you're getting out of the van, they're all, "Ass, grass, or cash, nobody rides for free!!" and drive off to go get some Taco Bell and find a pay phone so they can call all the people who paged them."
    -that there is some killer writing, keep it up nigga!

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  4. I heard there's another band with a similar sound called Limp Noodle. I think they have Vanilla Ice's DJ in their band. "Yo, VIP! Let's kick it!"

    I'm sure the Troo Kvlt bitches at Metal Injection are going to whine about this post like they did with the Biohazard one. "Is this supposed to be ironic? It's not funny. Now where did I put my Mayhem necklace that's made from Dead's skull fragments that I bought on eBay? Mom, is my corpsepaint running?"

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  5. My mistake, it was Metal Sucks that was whining about the Biohazard post. I apologize to Metal Injection. It's eight in the morning. I'm not fully awake.

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  6. Can you imagine if they become very popular? Maybe that Adidas brand could come back to life and be profitable again after decades. Well, we will have to wait to see if this happens, but I think it could be a good opportunity for Adidas. If I was working for another dead brand, let's say like puma, I'd be offering these tortured kids some money to start wearing my clothes.

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  7. Can you imagine if they become very popular?

    I don't see that happening any time soon. I tried to find their tape the other day at Camelot and they didn't have it.

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  8. Wish they had some Blue Grape merch out. Right y'all?

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  9. You want to know something funny? They sound a lot like this band from my town called The Deaf Tonez. I missed a recent show at the cattle club, but I might see them next month.
    They are playing with Sick Of It All and Orange9MM which is rumored to be the new band from the guys from BURN.
    With a name like that, you KNOW they are going to be heavy!

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  10. The Deaf Tonez is the kind of band that wont suck 10 years from now (according to my magic 8-ball).

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  11. *and drive off to go get some Taco Bell and find a pay phone so they can call all the people who paged them*

    Holy shit! That is one of the single funniest lines ever written on this site. Drug dealing really required some serious multi-tasking/communication skills before the proliferation of cell phone.

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  12. I hung out with a lot of shady skater/tagbanger types back in the day so I am very familiar with the pager lifestyle!

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  13. Anon Old School Metal GuyAugust 20, 2009 at 11:58 AM

    There's a totally jammin' new band called Cold Chamber, they're a lot like Corn & you'll probably dig them too. Plus they have a really awesome sense of metal fashion, very "unique". I think they're on Ozzfest or Gigantour this year, check 'em out.

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  14. I'm still totally into Downset...any other so-cal outfit that combines the worst aspects of metal and pseudo hip-hop will always be second in my book!

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  15. It should be noted that this Corn band may have stolen their concept from an earlier California band, Rice. Rice still feeds more people than Corn, btw.

    http://www.myspace.com/riceispower

    http://riceispower.blogspot.com/

    as for these other bands...

    Ya know, I tried Bloodlet too but they are just so dark and heavy. Must be for those "death music" fans.

    But, Hell yeah, Downset!

    "anger, hostility towards the opposition. anger, hostility towards the opposition. anger, hostility towards the opposition. ANGRRRR!"

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  16. Ha! I just found your blog and absolutely love it. What really makes it for me is all the Wild Rags references. The drummer for Judecca worked for my dad and gave me their first CD and split 7" with Horror of Horrors back in 93 when I was 13. After that I lived and died by getting my copy of the Wild Rag in until they went under. Keep up the good work!

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  17. I'd successfully never heard Corn until now. Thanks for that, you wankers.

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  18. Corn is the best Christian Rock band ever. I bet they could open for Styper if they went to the same church. I do think they stole a lot of stuff from P.U.D and 247 Spies though.

    I always thought the Tone Deafs were a Weezey cover band. Naming your band after Mrs. Jefferson isn't very metal even if she is Benny Kravitzs mom.

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  19. "WORST THING I WILL EVER POST HERE....EVER"

    Jonathan Davis count dump ketchup on his head and be "Zombie Dimebag" for Halloween.

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  20. @ John Omenhiser
    isnt Creed the best Christian band, haha?!

    @ alex_sotheran
    how the hell had you managed to successfully not hear this shitty band until now??!

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  21. I'm still waiting for death metal to discover melody. If only someone would make it more rock'n'roll-like...

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  22. Also I bet his stepdad is like the dad from The Wonder Years, and was really disappointed when his son said he didn't want to play football. He probably came home from work one day all pissed off because he does framing/roofing and his foreman is a fucking asshole, and was like "Hey if all you're going to do is sit around my house and listen to Slipknot, get me a fucking beer!" Then the singer for Corn is all, "Fuck you, you're not my real dad!!" And his stepdad turns all red and pushes him up against the wall and is like "You think you can take me on you fuckin' pussy?!" and slaps him. The singer for Corn starts to cry and his stepdad is like, "If you're gonna act like a little bitch then I'll treat you like one!!" and sticks his finger in the singer for Corn's butt. I am not sure but I think that's what the Corn song "Clown" is about.

    Pure gold.

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  23. I wish Corn would release their cover of "God of Emptiness". It has to be good if they recorded it ten years ago and kept it hidden, right?

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  24. "take me to your dealer"
    my god, man...
    I remember going to parties where kids had blacklight posters of shit like that...
    those parties were awesome!
    the last one I went to, they were playing a cd of this band 311 who blend like... reggae and just.. real chill vibes with metal... so if you guys are like... 420 friendly, you know... you should check 'em out...

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  25. You can point to Corn as being one of the worst things to happen to music in the last 20 years. First, Pearl Jam and Nirvana, next came Corn. They helped the heretofore undiscovered strain of the HIV virus spread rapidly throughout the whole nation. Just because your guitars are distorted and tuned to A doesn't mean you're heavy. These guys are your prototypical L.A. douchebags (the short dreads, the baggy clothes, the whiny vocals--see Tool for more on homo-vocalization technique).

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  26. thank you captain obvious.

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  27. Why is it that I read the whole article, and still can only focus on Shoreline Community College? haha Probably because of those two hot "Shoreline Straight Edge" girls in the late 90s that I would see whenever I came up to Seattle shows.

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  28. I'm glad someone noticed that!! Shoreline CC had tons of hotties in the 90s, probably even more now (lots of AZNs and Hot Topic girls I'm sure). I used to live in Edmonds, I really miss that area of Western WA.

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  29. I noticed the Shoreline CC reference too, because I lived in Seattle for 8 years. But I didn't comment because I don't want to be the guy who's always like "Dude, remember when Fallout Comics was around" on this blog. Also, I had no idea that there were any hotties to be found north of 145th (or even 85th for that matter...)

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  30. Also, I had no idea that there were any hotties to be found north of 145th

    Dude, Alderwood Mall is PACKED with hotties! Of course, it wasn't back in the day (80s and 90s) when Lynnwood was a dump, so that could explain your faulty memory.

    And yes, I went to Fallout from like 1989-2000 or whenever it closed. RIP!

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  31. These guys look so rad! I hope they mix some scat-style nursery rhymin' into the rock and rap.

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  32. I seldom made it that far north, so that would explain things too.

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  33. Man i saw these guys this summer in this club called "starland ballroom" and right there in the name, STAR, so you know they're gonna be huge. And like this AWESOME band called Burnhalo opened... they were like this cool band 16 visions but the singer had like, grown pubes, not on his balls but on his chin and wore pleather pants. It was all bad ass. The corn singer had a pimp cup and took hits from an oxygen mask every free chance he got (between songs, verses, sentences) and he like was all hot and sweaty making his hairline get really wide and he had a weird belly on him but chicken legs. so where am I going? oh yeah the bassist was willing to sign copies of his zine for $30. Yeah man beer money. They are gonna get signed I just know it.

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  34. Good post. Very impressive. Thanks for sharing.

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  35. SO many times I read stupid post but this time I must say i'm impressed! Well done! Cheers!

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  36. Does anyone know how to fucking spell? Its Korn. And all the comments about the "deaf tones" : they're named Deftones. By the way Korn is a fucking amazing band. Every song that Jonathan Davis writes and sings about is from his mind and soul and every time I listen to them, I feel every bit of emotion that Jonathan Davis poured into those songs. He is the only real musician out there because he is the only artist who truely feels the emotions in his lyrics and music. All of the people who are dissing Korn can go fuck yourselves. Much love and respect to Mr. Jonathan Davis and the rest of Korn <3

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  37. This is literally the WORST BAND REVIEW EVER! you met with members of the band, yet you can't even spell the freaking band name! It's KoRn! K! NOT C! And that's not it. The whole article is all over the place. it drags on with useless, nonsensical, or completely false information,. For example, They have ALWAYS had a bass player. YOU MET HIM YOU IDJIT! And that metal slapping together, that's called SLAPPED BASS. ANY fan of music should know what that is. Queen used it, pretty much any funk based band uses it, AND EVERYBODY THAT KNOWS ANYTHING KNOWS ABOUT MUSIC KNOWS WHAT IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!

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  38. Also, the band isn't new! They started in 1996, and are just the extension of an even older band, L.A.P.D. (Laughing As People Die,) which was a college-rock band.

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    To begin you need to join AdWorkMedia and run their Content Locking widget.

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  40. Thank you so much for sharing this post with us .

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