They're still around?

It's true. We're all getting older. Sadly, and I just found this out yesterday thanks to the Discovery Channel, we're all getting older at the exact same rate. That still shouldn't prevent us from mocking those who are further along in the process. For example, consider this picture (below) of the band Laaz Rockit. Mary mother of jesus and baby jesus, they're ancient. Oh, and nice...uh...see through shirt champ. Who knew that such a severe case of Tommy Victor Disease could exist?


Right now you're probably asking yourself..."hey, what do they look like on stage these days?" Well, perhaps this picture will answer that question. They basically look like a local Cult cover band, with a little Springsteen thrown in for good measure. Check it out.



Jesus christ, this guy makes Lou Reed look healthy and youthful.



If you're insane, or you have a severe deathwish, you can check out their site here. If like me, you are a sane human being and would rather remember things the way they were (by that I mean when they sucked, were a fourth rate band but at least looked pretty dope aside from the mesh shirt) then watch the video below. Why is this video so great (aside from the mesh shirt and the 'fro?) Because it's like having your uncle tell you made up stories about a war he was never at. Listen and learn kids.

A SkullKrushing Vinyl Collection (part 3)

Welcome to part 3 of "A SkullKrushing Vinyl Collection," brought to you today by Megaforce Records. If you care, here's parts 1 and 2.

So, here's a few more records from my crates along with a few more stories from my... my... my... my... I don't know. Something that rhymes with "crates"



Alright! Laaz Rockit! What could be better than a cheesy California thrash band? Well, a cheesy California thrash band that misspells the words in it's name on purpose, of course! Well, this is a test pressing of the Rockit's second effort "No Stranger to Danger " that came out in '85. I scored this jewel for $3 at Jerry's, of course. Jerry's is to record stores what double-sided dildos are to the world of adult toys.
I think it's pretty cool to own a record like this, 'cuz when I tell ladies about it, all they wanna do is rip my Testament shirt off and lick my hairy chest. True story. OK, maybe not.



You can file these 3 records under the "You are the luckiest SOB I know" category. When we were in Amsterdam on tour in Europe with my band, we met a guy from a label who wanted to put out some shit of ours. The label had done cool releases before, so I was going to agree anyway, but I guess he felt I needed a little incentive. He offered me his entire Maiden collection. All 11 pieces. I took it all, of course. These 3 picture disc singles are just a sample. If you ever come to my house I might let you see the rest. But, you have to show me your boobies first.



We all know what a dbag Danzig is. The quintessential egomaniac with a Napoleon complex and a serious case small-dick-testosterone-surplus. I got this double 7" bootleg in Eastern Europe somewhere during the same European tour with my band. The sound is so bad, I can only barely recognize one song and it's Samhain, not even Danzig. Still, this is one of my favorite records in my collection. Why? It comes with a poster, dude!



I saw Excruciating Terror in Berkeley once. It was at a Fiesta Grande, so you know the audience was chuck-full-o-PC fags. All these pseudo politically involved bands had been playing and then ET went on. Someone started screaming at them about a song of theirs being racist or sexist or something. I don't know if you have ever seen these dudes, but I wouldn't wanna fuck with them, that's for sure. Anyway, the singer looked at this hippie in the audience and asked him: "Hey, what do you say to a girl with 2 black eyes? - Nothing, you already told her twice." The place went nuts with boos and ET exploded onto their brutal set. It was classic! I got this 7" from Wild Rags, where I'd gotten their demo a few years back. Man, Mexicans can really rock.



I really don't know what to say about these 2 records. Maybe I should say that it's fucking bizarre that nerds out there have offered me up to $300 for the AC / Meat Shits split. Maybe I should say that I'm often embarrassed to own these. Maybe I should say that I own more than a few Meat Shits cassettes. I really should kill myself and this world a better place. Especially for my family.



I'm finishing up with OZ for two reasons:
1. OZ is the awesomest thing to come out of Finland since Mika Hakkinen.
2. I'm working on another classic post on these rockers for next week.

Funny to think that Megaforce records lasted as long as they did putting out shit like this...

The Metal Inquisition Vault: Some old flyers

I know most of the posts on MI are funny. Well, they are supposed to be funny... I don't think this one is in that category, sorry. I apologize to the other MI staff if you think this post does not belong here. I just thought it would be cool to share some of the flyers I have collected in one way or another through the years. Some are from my collection, some scans I got and others from the internet. Some of the art is funny, some of the line-ups are odd (GBH/Death Angel??), but each one of these flyers brings memories to me and I hope to you too. I fully expect a few "I was at that show" out of this... I hope you likey...

Billy Milano, Gentleman And A Scholar

Billy Milano must be one of the world's most annoying human beings, and also one of the saddest. Watch this video, and tell me you don't want to just punch him in the face so many times that your hand will break in half. The guy with the glasses is also kinda' asking for it. He's like every Jersey greaseball that pumps your gas in that damn state. His cadence is so unbelievable phoney and forced. It's funny to see them talk and act like they're on top of the world, as they sit in the Holiday Inn hotel room that they all have to share while they tour with Laaz Rockit.

The band's name is M.O.D. for god's sake....Mr. Milano had such a hard time letting go of S.O.D. that he started a bizarro world version of it. It's as though Dave Mustaine had been kicked out of Metallica and had gone on to start Netallica.

Thrash Metal, Jersey Style!

Whenever I hear people talk about thrash metal it’s always the same thing. Lääz Rockit this and Vio-lence that. “Forbidden is so sick!” “You want REAL thrash metal? Listen to “Bonded by Blood!” I say fuck that West Coast Bay Area pussy shit. You want REAL thrash metal—go to New Jersey! That’s right. Don’t rub your eyes or try to adjust your computer screen, you read it right the first time—New Jersey. The Garden State, my home, has spawned some of the greatest and most underappreciated thrash metal bands of all time. You want proof? Here it is…

Blood Feast


Whiplash


Gothic Slam