Dave Mustaine does a belly dance, and names his band after toothpaste.

In 1989, I received a gift certificate for a record store called Bambuco, in Bogota's Unicentro shopping mall. I eagerly anticipated the day that I'd be able to use the certificate, since I was already devoting pretty much every waking moment of my day to thinking about metal bands, drawing concerts by metal bands, designing logos for metal bands and so on. This being late 80s Colombia, however, the selection of metal records at local stores was almost always limited to one Ozzy record, and maybe another by the Europe (authors of that timeless classic, the Final Countdown). With that in mind, imagine my surprise when Bambuco had a copy of Megadeth's So Far, So Good, So What on their shelves, among several copies of the latest Julio Iglesias album. Though Megadeth was didn't interest me much, the thought of being able to buy something heavier than Europe was intoxicating, so I got it. Upon taking it home, I was blown away by the speed in the opening track, but hated the whiny vocals, even then. Nevertheless, I was thrilled.

Soon after I got home and listened to the record a few times, my brother called from a friend's house. I was so excited to tell him about the record, that I made a simple mistake that continues to haunt me to this day. I told him, "I got a new record! It's awesome, but I don't know if you'll like it. It's by the band Mentadent". Yes ladies and gentlemen, in my excitement, I had neglected to realize the band's actual name, and had confused it with the brand of toothpaste that had been recently released in Colombia.

And now, to celebrate this story, I bring you this animated GIF that I put together for all of you. Enjoy it, and if you link to it, or post it somewhere, please be kind enough to credit Metal Inquisition. I mean, after all, how many blogs tell you unbelievably thrilling stories about thinking a band was named after toothpaste?

The ultimate argument settler

We live in a divided nation. For those reading outside the U.S., the same holds true. We live in a divided planet. Just last week, the United States of America had its presidential election. Similarly, here at Metal Inquisition we are hugely invested in the democratic process. We are also, however, authorities in the world of metal, and with that authority we are more than happy to have final say, and settle any metal argument. As the name of this blog implies, we are judge, jury and excecutioner. Below are our rulings. Well, mine at least. Having said that, we will still hear you guys out, probably just to point out how wrong you are though. So, we have decided to let you, our beloved readers, vote. For all those who are not americans, or do not live in this country...feel free to play along.




1. Best Slayer Album: - Reign In Blood or South of Heaven?
Don't be a wise guy and say "Haunting the Chapel", because that was an EP. Don't be an ass and say "Show No Mercy", that's like nominating the fat girl in your high school for prom queen as a joke. My vote? South of Heaven. The production alone makes it the best album hands down. I don't care how controversial my vote is. I'm sticking to it. By the way, if you vote for Seasons In The Abyss, you're a poser. Everyone knows that's Slayer's "new" album.

2. Dark Angel or Death Angel?
We settled this one ourselves sometime back, but we'd now like to hear from our readers. Again, don't be a smartass and say "Morbid Angel". I proudly vote for Dark Angel, even
though the date and place where the lyrics to each song were written are listed in the liner notes.






3. Norwegian black metal or Swedish death metal?
By Swedish death metal, I'm referring to the first three Entombed albums, early Dismember etc. Tough one, but I have to go with Swedish death metal since it generated less awful third rate bands.

If my brother and I had only had the minimal fashion know how necessary to pull off this look in 1989, we would have done it. Yet another obstacle that stood in our way was the fact that my mom wouldn't let us grow our hair long.

4. American thrash or German speed?
Another controversial one, I know. Though some disagree, when I say "german speed metal" I'm talking about the holy-trinity: Kreator, Destruction, Sodom. If you disagree with what I mean by "German speed", go start your own blog. By American thrash I'm talking about Anthrax, Exodus etc. I would love to say german speed, since its more aggressive and cooler...but the reality is that in 1989 I made my mom buy me bermuda shorts because of Anthrax, and I thought Exodus were the coolest band ever. Guilty.







5. New York City, or Bay area thrash?
Which will it be? Forbidden or Anthrax? Overkill or Exodus? Testament or Nuclear Assault? This one is really tough for me. Damnnit, I may have to go with the Bay-Area.

This cover is of the second printing of the video. I have the original one, since I'm no poser.

6. Hard N' Heavy Grindcore edition or Thrash Metal edition?
The Grindcore one had way scarier animation, whereas the thrash metal one had that creepy metal guy basically assaulting women. For comedic value alone, we have to go with the thrash metal one because it features the Anthrax poodle haircut, and unbelievable interviews with Vio-Lence and the award winning piece on Mordred.







7. Who riffs harder, Prong or Pantera?
Yet another argument as old as time itself. We also ruled on this one at one point, and we called it a draw. I personally have to go with Prong. If you want to know about my reasoning, read the post we did all about this ongoing debate.








8. Earache or Roadrunner?
I don't care what these labels are up to now, I don't even know if they exist. I'm talking about back in the day. Napalm Death vs. Malevolent Creation. Obituary and Suffocation vs Bolt Thrower and Carcass. Because of my current love affair with most things that Obituary has done, I have to go with Roadrunner. Don't be a wise guy and say Grindcore records. Let's keep this orderly.







9. Was Darkthrone better as a Swedish death metal band or as a Norwegian black metal band?
No, you can't just answer "none of the above"...so it's a tough one. I know that Mr. Sargeant D has made an argument for why they were way better as a death metal band...but I may have to side with the black metal years. It's just so hard to cut through the cult of personality around them, and the insanely stupid fans. But once I do, I find the black metal albums to be more interesting, even if they sound terrible and are largely composed of three notes that sound like a fly buzzing in my ear. I guess it's part of the charm.






10. Better compilation, Grindcrusher or Death is Just The Begining?
Man, Grindcrusher just hit the spot back in the day! Morbid Angel, Napalm Death....hot damn! I'll just try to forget all the other awful songs.






11. Best/Worst Colaboration: Anthrax and Public Enemy or Biohazard and Onyx?
Biohazard/Onyx certainly provided the highest cringe factor, but I'd be less than honest if I didn't admit to the fact that I still know all the lyrics to Bring The Noise to thise day due to the 'thrax/P.E. colabo. As such, that's who I'm voting for.

Slayer, too old to rock? Apparently so.

Could it be true? Could the aging metal choo-choo train known as Slayer be coming to it's well deserved and (some might say) long-awaited stop? Based on their age and ability to produce quality music, it would certainly make sense. Tom Araya seems to agree, at least about the age part. Still, one has to wonder if perhaps Tom's catholic guilt has finally gotten to him, after singing "The Anti-Christ" one too many times. Here's part of an interview with Tom, where he discusses the eventual end of the cash cow known as Slayer:

"I don't see it going any further than a certain point in time. We have one more record to do, which is our deal with [producer Rick] Rubin, and we'll have to sit down and discuss the future. But I can't really see myself doing this at a later age."

"There have been remarks made about seeing an old man head-bang," laughs Araya. "And I have to agree. I think the Stones can do that, probably go out and do their stuff in their 80s, but it just wouldn't look right [for us], you know what I mean?

Kerry King responded to such comments in a recent interview:

Interviewer:
Tom said that after the next Slayer album, you guys would have to discuss your future as a band, because he's reaching an age where it might no longer be viable.

King:
I haven't even heard that. He hasn't talked to me about it. But after taking 10 months off, I bet you he's recharged and ready to rock. As far as I'm concerned, I look at people like Ronnie James Dio and Rob Halford and I think, 'Shit, maybe I'm not done!'"

Unable to make car payments, Kerry King has been forced to take the occasional baby sitting job as of late. Aside from providing Kerry with some extra pocket change, it has sent a clear sign to his wife that he's finally ready to settle down, stop acting like a douche, and make some babies. He'll probably keep wearing huge camo pants, but at least it's a start.

I understand both points of view. Tom wants to spend time at home with his family, going to church picnics and tending to his mane. Kerry wants to make more money so he can keep eating, and at one point finally launch his wrestling career.

No matter how awesome rednecks in Kansas think Tom is, his daughter still cries in embarrassment when forced to be seen with her aging dad.

Andreas Kisser forced to play with Scorpions to pay rent — Cavalera brothers overheard saying "mission accomplished!"

Though some thought Soulfly was an actual band, it was merely a dress rehearsal for Max Cavalera's masterpiece, The Cavalera Conspiracy. From the moment the band began, the entire world has been laughing, but today we received news which clearly show that the band is no laughing matter at all. As it turns out, The Cavalera Conspiracy is not just the name of a band, but an actual conspiracy put together by the Cavalera brothers to do two things:

1. Take over the world's entire urban camouflage supply

2. Keep former Sepultura member Andreas Kisser from earning an honest living by playing in any semi-relevant musical act.

Proof that the Cavalera brothers have succeeded in accomplishing their second goal comes to us in the form of Andreas playing with Scorpions. Yes, he's a current touring member of the band. Can you imagine that the incoherent guy who did that rad 180 flip in the video for "Inner Self" has had to pimp himself to aging rockers like the Scorpions? I know that maniacs like Mr. Gene Hoglan's Balls enjoy early Scorpions material (last time he was at my house, he played side A of The Tokyo Tapes at least ten times), but this is so sad. It's about as sad as Max's camo bandana, or as sad as the one dude in Soulfly wearing a backpack while he plays guitar.

Who Gave These Filipinos Those Rock Guitars?

The fact that Dark Angel rocks harder than Death Angel is an issue that was settled here at M.I. sometime back. Nevertheless, a two part mini-documentary about Death Angel that was done back when they first signed to a major label (with band members' ages ranging from 14 to 19) is certainly worth sharing with our readers. These guys look exactly as I wanted to look back then. Sadly, my mom wouldn't let me have long hair and I didn't have rad metal shirts. Sure, sure, my brother and I shared a couple of metal tees, but for the most part I was rocking my sweatpants, my Freddy Kruger sweatshirt (not a sweater like the one Freddy wore, no, a heather grey number with his face screenprinted on it), or maybe an OP shirt, all the while dousing myself in Brut cologne (to atract the ladies). Since baja's (drug rugs) came up in the last post, I should mention that I also wanted one very badly circa 1990, but my mom wouldn't let me have one. Bummer.

Check out their bodacious skate gear, the sweatsocks, the suspenders, the matching outfits....the Sisters of Mercy shirt? That shirt should have been a sign to us all about things to come. Enjoy.


Part One





Part Two

Robb Flynn's Disease. Before And After

Metal Inquisition once again opens its video vault, this time to reveal footage of Robb Flynn prior to contracting the very disease that would be named after him. I remember watching this footage of Vio-Lence when it first came out (1990) and thinking these guys were absolutely rad. Now I look at this footage and realize that they all look like meth dealers who were molested by their uncles. Were they sponsored by Fruit Of The Loom? What's with all the sweatpants, sweatshirts and gym socks? Jesus. Also, please note the amazing facial hair.


Anyway, please pay attention to the shy gentleman wearing the sweet Metal Church hat. That young man, the one with the quiet demeanor, is none other than Robb Flynn. Who knew that such a nice guy would go on to be such a huge douche bag. Come to think of it, as silly as the guys in Vio-Lence look in this interview...I much prefer it to what Robb has gone on to do, both musically and fashion-wise. Ah, the good old days.

Lastly, if any of you out there are in a band, it's very important that you pay close attention to this whole video. Here, the guys in the band break down how they got signed and went on sell tens of records worldwide. Apparently, doing a "demo giveaway through Mechanic" is the key to their success. This video also offers a quick primer on how to deal with the media. Apparently, you have to talk into the camera. Watch and learn.

Headbanger's Ball Memories

A bit of metal history salvaged from the Metal Inquisition video vault, freshly transfered from Beta tape for your viewing pleasure. Please note the dopey fans at the beginning. I think this video marks the last time that Kerry King's hair was seen anywhere.


It's also the last time he was seen looking like a normal human being, and not a wrestler...though he did have the sweet lines shaved in his facial hair. Listen to him call Alice In Chains "Alice". Enjoy.

Vengeance Rising's Roger Martinez: Stage Banter All-Star

In the world of super annoying human beings, Vengance Rising's Roger Martinez needs no introduction. We have examined his insanely annoying antics before, and now you can see how they translated into his stage persona. As you watch this, remember that he went on to became a satanist, and offered free records to people in the military who would wage war on christians. Forget the GI Bill, pay them with Vengance Rising records!

If You Can't Eat It Or Fuck It... Then Kill It!

Would you want to have to fight these guys?

You probably know Pete Steele as the lead singer of everyone's favorite goth metal band Type O Negative. You may also know him from his popular centerfold spread in the August 1995 issue of Playgirl. But his greatest contribution to society is the criminally underappreciated post-apocalyptic proto-thrash outfit Carnivore. Formed back in 1983 by then New York Parks Department employee "Lord Petrus Steele" along with drummer Louie Beateaux and guitarist Keith Alexander. Musically, Carnivore was like if Venom was from Brooklyn and obsessed with Mad Max instead of Satan. Sloppy, loud, fast, and heavy. Carnivore's music is a muscular speed metal all their own. From the picture above it's clear their biggest fashion influences were Manowar and the Legion of Doom. Known for drenching their audiences with buckets of animal blood, entrails, and assorted body parts, Carnivore was years ahead of shitty black metal bands like Mayhem and Gorgoroth who later stole their idea.

Simple, yet effective cover art

Carnivore's self-titled debut album is probably the manliest, most macho metal record ever made (sorry, Manowar). If you don't have a penis, you probably won't "get" this record, but that's okay. It's pure testosterone, with a healthy dose of sarcasm and cynicism. The album's lyrical concept revolves around life after a thermonuclear war. Roving gangs of neo-barbarians rule the streets where rape, murder, and cannibalism are accepted forms of self-expression. It's the soundtrack to the greatest 80s action movie that was never made. The album kicks off with "Predator," a song about the people living in the subways beneath the ruined city coming out and being eaten by Carnivore. "I sense that living human beings dwell below my feet/An important source of protein/You are what you eat!" Next up is the band's theme song and it contains all of Carnivore's favorite themes--sex, violence, and cannibalism. "Drool dripping out/My tongue hanging south/Saliva flowing free/My eyes full of lust/My balls gonna bust/Give yourself to me/Thirst I can't quench/C'mere you wench/There's something that I need." "Male Supremacy" is an epic worthy of its title that's sure to get any feminist's blood boiling with its hilarious shouted chorus of "MALE SUPREMACY!" Memorable lines include "Between my legs I've got what it takes to be called a man/Fighting/Feasting/Fucking all I can." As if the song weren't already over-the-top enough it features an extended acoustic breakdown where Steele romantically croons the sort of lines he'd later make a living from with Type O Negative. Alternating between a slow stomp and fast chugging, "Armageddon" is one of the catchiest songs on the album. Never before has the end of the world sounded this good.

Look at those fucking bass drums!!!

Coincidentally enough, side two of Carnivore starts off with the song "Legion of Doom" about a biker gang who's motto is "Live your life by your will/Learn to be an animal/By the light of the moon beware the legion of doom!" "God is Dead," featuring a killer cowbell-heavy chorus, is about God committing suicide because he's so depressed by what mankind has become. "You gang raped mother nature/I love a virgins cry/Blood poured from the earth/She suffered and she died/Rusty scissors still in hand you castrated father time/Feed his balls to the hounds that drink his cum like wine." "Thermonuclear Warrior" is one of the most raging, balls out tracks on the album advocating eugenics via homicide. The album closes with the ten minute epic to end all epics "World Wars III and IV." Riffs, dive-bombs, solos, explosions, and drum solos for days. You couldn't ask for a more fitting end to one of the greatest metal albums ever made.

Classic 80s shitty metal album cover art

Carnivore's second and final album, Retaliation, is also worth seeking out. The musicianship is tighter, the production is cleaner, and there's more of a hardcore/crossover vibe, but it's still very much a metal record. By this point they'd stopped wearing costumes and the lyrics are slightly more "serious," but still just as hilarious. The album starts off with the sound of someone puking their brains out and then launches into the scathing social commentary of "Angry Neurotic Catholics" followed by the anthemic "Suck My Dick." The controversial nature of this album mostly stems from the ridiculously over-the-top lyrics to "Race War." Lines like "Don't call me your brother 'cause I ain't your fuckin' brother/We fell from different cunts and your skin's an ugly color" tend to get people all worked up. Personally, I think it's tongue-in-cheek. How can anyone actually take what these guys sing about seriously after looking at these photos? Some people have no sense of humor.

Carnivores love meat

"Inner Conflict" is an epic suicide lament with extremely descriptive lyrics like "Large two inches maggots decorate my vomit/Infected eyes oozing puss/Acknowledge the stench of human excrement/Swamps of mucus prevalent/Every hole in my body drips blood." "Jesus Hitler" is the story of a mysterious figure born of a nun raped by a Nazi at the end of World War II. Jesus Hitler or Aldolf Christ? Torn between good and evil, has he come to save the Jews or destroy them? Brilliant Stuff. "Technophobia" is filled with more pro-technology, anti-religion rhetoric like "You worship a dead man hung with nails/Only a fool would die for the sins of humanity/On your knees before electronics." This is followed by a cover of Jimi Hendrix's "Manic Depression" that rivals the original. "USA for USA" is like when Agnostic Front makes the crowd say the Pledge of Allegiance before playing "Liberty and Justice" on Live at CBGB, but better. "All the bullshit countries who think they'll beat the giant/World peace is upheaval/We'll nuke'em to the stoneage/Send the message clear/'Ya don't fuck with the eagle." If I were an Army general in Iraq, this is what I'd want my troops listening to! Retaliation closes with the Clockwork Orange inspired "Sex and Violence." I leave you with its timeless lyrics...

Monkey wrench in my hand
In my groin a swollen gland
Tonight perform brain surgery
Or some gynecology
Clockwork orange fast be comming
Rampant sreets gangs overrunning
After darkness waging war
What do they keep living for?
Sex and violence
I love to hear you scream in vain
Splattered blood and semen stains
Rape and murder lesson learned
Meeting of my pain and sperm
Prey upon the old and helpless
Reconditioning is useless
Ultraviolent offsprings of gore
What do they keep living for?
Sex and violence
If you can't eat it or fuck it
Then kill it
Sexual deviation
Religious desecration
Civil mutilation
Violent procreation
Bleed for me

Metal Inquisition Video Vault: The State Of Metal—1991

1991, at least according to this piece of footage, was a tough year for metal. Listen to Tom Araya, Lars Ulrich and Kirk Hammett weigh in on this very important subject. Lars was as annoying then as he is now. Jesus, does he ever stop? The man has been annoying since birth. I think he probably came out of his mother talking about his theories on NWOBHM.

The report concludes that the trouble with metal comes down to nomenclature, watch and laugh. Slow start, but hang in there.

Please note:

1. Kirk Hammett's weird teeth and his tiny bicycle skid mustache.
2. Tom Araya's name, misspelled. He drops some knowledge.
3. Ozzy telling us about washing machine metal (my favorite part)
4. Lars drops knowledge too, and he refers to Guns N Roses as "the Guns guys"

Great moments in art history: Sadus

Most people feel that art can be hard to understand. That's because most art is in fact hard to understand. Consider the Yale art student who, as has been widely reported, did a nine-month art project where she:

"... artificially inseminated herself 'as often as possible' while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages"

While the thought of such an undertaking would surely cheer up Chris Barnes and other Cannibal Corpse members (past and present), most of us are left scratching our heads, asking "is that art?" If you find yourself asking such a question, I present to you the cover for the Sadus album "Illusions", a piece of art so direct that it singlehandedly changes every viewers take on art. Unlike complicated artistic statements that require substantial reading to understand the intended meaning....this cover is exactly what you think it is. This artistic masterpiece is:

A long-haired viking skull (who is a devout christian, and enjoys fashion accessories such as crowns) is ingesting numerous skulls that come in peacock feather-like droplets, stemming from a tunnel. The tunnel is guarded by a rivitted keyhole that holds saturn, the sun, small asteroids and a UFO, which is itself rooted to a human brain that is held by the skull's hair. Could it be any simpler?

Though I have just spoken highly of the very direct nature of this piece, let me also point out that all great art makes references (however subtle) to other pieces of art, as well as film, music and culture in general. For example



The simplicity, Asian overtones (more on that later), black background, use of a single accent color, as well as the one strong vertical element (the purple type in the Sadus record, and the dress in the other) makes an obvious reference to Steely Dan's "Aja" cover. Not too unusual, when you think of it. While Sadus was not known for having any Jazz or Fusion influences, Steve Digiorgio played in Death as well, along with Paul and Sean from Cynic. Cynic loved their Fusion and Jazz. See, it all makes sense.


The skull's crown reference's Wonder Woman's own golden fashion accessory. What seems at first like an unusual artistic reference, is in fact understandable. The dudes in Sadus were horny, metal losers. Loneliness makes men do stupid things, like putting Wonder Woman's crown on an otherwise evil skull.




Another unusual reference is the cosmic sea that is held within the riveted keyhole, an obvious homage to the work of the astronomer and astrochemist Carl Sagan, and his book/TV series Cosmos. Again, this may seem like an odd choice at first, but consider the following. Steve Digiorgio played bass in Sadus, but he also played in Death. Death had a song called "Cosmic Sea"*. You must also remember that during the sessions for that Death album, Steve played with Paul and Sean from Cynic. Cynic had a song named "Celestial Voyage" in their album Focus. Do I have to spell this stuff out for you guys? Sheesh.

*Thanks to a kind reader for reminding me about this song. How I forgot it, I will never know. I'm very ashamed.

Like most other metalheads, the guys from Sadus grew up in very humble surroundings, and art was not a priority. More often than not, the art that hung on their homes growing up, was the picture that came with the frame. Nothing else can explain the use of a cornucopia in this cover.


What metalhead out there has seen a peacock and NOT wanted to include part their beautiful plumage on a record cover?



Like all American metal bands, Sadus ripped off German metal bands. Look at the reflections on the Sadus logo, they suggest that the logo was actually made of a reflective, perhaps metallic material. Sodom's logo was actually made out of polished steel. Sadus' was merely airbrushed to look that way. What we have here is another American band copying a German band, and not doing it well. Note the similarly retarded shapes of the letters.


The typography on this otherwise metal cover gives the album a slight, but refreshing Asian feel. Much like a cheesy Asian bandana on the forehead of an Italian kid from Long Island.


PS: On a closing note, I should mention that my brother and I often heard from a very reliable source that members of Sadus mailed weed to each other many times just to see if "it would work". Man, bored white trash dudes come up with some stupid things to do when they're sitting around watching Wonder Woman reruns.

Video Retroview: Megadeth's "Hangar 18"

A candid shot of yours truly (circa 1990) enjoying the premiere airing of the Hangar 18 video on Headbanger's Ball.

I can remember it like it was yesterday. The world premiere of the new Megadeth video was set to air during Headbanger's Ball, and I couldn't wait. My memories are just as vivid of those of earlier generations who gathered around the television to watch The Beatles on Ed Sullivan. It was a momentous occasion. At the time, I was not a huge Megadeth fan, but much had been made in earlier episodes of The Ball about the large budget and special effects that would surely make this video a classic. Mustaine had talked about the video basically being a sci-fi short movie. As a young man, the thought of a cool sci-fi/metal short film must have been intoxicating. Then again, what the hell did I know...I wore Brut cologne in a misguided attempt to attract the opposite sex. Anyway, an entire episode was actually devoted to a behind the scenes look at the making of the video, so this was a big deal. The video for Holy Wars was already out, and although not as heavy as some of the music I listened to at the time, the high rifforama factor of the tune was certainly pleasing to my ears.

So, about the video...I'm not sure why, but in the early 90s metal bands started a trend that would later take over hip-hop videos all together, that of making us believe that their video was more like a full motion picture than a simple video clip for their latest single. Yes, Michael Jackson's Thriller came many years before this, but that lineage was broken and thus not influential to the bloated production that was Metallica's "The Unforgiven" (unequivocally the champion of pseudo artistic video-as-film garbage, especially the uncut 12 minute version). In any case, much like anything that Mustaine has ever done, the introduction in the Hangar 18 video is ridiculous and unnecesary. Sadly, it also plays second fiddle to Metallica's attempt at the very same thing (that being, The Unforgiven's 10 minute video intro). Simply not as lengthy or retarded as Metallica's, the intro nevertheless kicks things off strongly and leads us down a path of stupidity that only Dave Mustaine and the Nike AIR hightop wearing gang could bring us.


Highlights to look out for:

Vic, Megadeth's rip-off of Iron Maiden's Eddie, makes an appearance and speaks for the first time in history. Turns out, his voice is simply that of a production assistant through a cheap vocal harmonizer. Though we all thought that Vic was down with Megadeth, and he was a rebel at heart, here we see him wearing a suit, and leading an army of third rate actors in a campaign against Megadeth. Also note that he's getting help from other military fat-cats who seem evil since they smoke cigars. Man, the 80s and early 90s were all about military and political fat-cats. I don't know if I want Vic to be the guy to pick up the phone at 3am in the White House, the guy can't even see due to his permanently riveted sunglasses. Note his awful skeleton hands, which are constantly fused in the same position throughout the video, and clearly being held by the actor in his sleeves. They remind me of the hooks that kids wear with pirate costumes.



The large budget that Mustaine had talked about in multiple interviews is nowhere to be seen. Rather than spending a few hundred bucks to get an exterior shot of a field, they used the director's HO scale model. This screenshot may be dark, but when you watch the video (below) you'll see what I mean. Perhaps Mustaine got an advance for the video, and it magically went up his nose.



Much in the way that George Lucas employed Ewoks as lighthearted, Muppet-like characters in the Star Wars triology, here too we encounter this lil' guy, a budget E.T. made out of silly putty. Unlike the other monsters we are about to encounter, this fun loving alien means us no harm. Word to the wise, don't get attached...you'll see what the US government (under Vic's control) has in store for him.



Ed Wood would have been so proud. Clearly, the production staff raided storage warehouses at multiple studios and "borrowed" costumes for the shoot. Here we see an extra from Mos Eisley's cantina scene.



This alien was so embarrassed to be featured in this video that he put his fins over his eyes in order to not have to watch.




Just look at his mouth! Mustaine does a killer Rambo impression. During the Clash Of The Titans tour, he would have Kerry King and Scott Ian in stitches for hours. He'd grab a Megadeth bandana from the boxes of unsold merchandise, roll it up and put it around his head....then he'd repeat the following endlessly doing his best Rambo: "Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off! It wasn't my war! You asked me, I didn't ask you!"





Look closely, you'll see the most anti-semitic moment in video history. Right as Marty Friedman is playing a solo, an alien with exactly the same hair as Marty is escorted by authorities. Perhaps most insulting is the gigantic nose that the alien has. Honestly, this is the sort of thing that should be investigated. Mustaine can be such a prick. This is totally uncalled for. No wonder Marty left the band. Can you blame him?




Throughout the whole video we see brief shots of this shirtless girl (with her back to the camera) being walked through the maze that is Vic's top-secret Airforce base. The director chose to use her as an ongoing theme that is woven through the video's fabric in an Ingmar Bergman-like fashion. Toward the very end of the video, the girl finally turns around, and rather than seeing what every male watching Headbanger's Ball wanted to see...we are confronted with a half-robot, half-lady creature wearing leather pants. Booooo! She's a robot? I thought this facility held aliens? The video's treatment really should have been scrutinized a bit more. This was the biggest disappointment in the whole video, even bigger of a disappointment than Vic's skeleton hands.




Look, I warned you not to get attached to the little muppet. The special effects team created only one alien creature that is not a human in a suit. As such, they had to get their milage out of this sucker...so if one creature was gonna get the Dremel drill, it had to be this one.





They seriously must have paid a fortune to rent this crane, because it's shown in like every other godamned shot. You'll see.





Again, the director's passion for HO-scale model trains pays off big. I've never understood why on earth the members of Megadeth were being taken out in these containers at the end of the video. They were just playing to the entire workforce at the base, and the aliens, but now they are captured and frozen? Are they aliens? I'm so confused.


This video was of substantial importance at the time to Megadeth, not only because it showed the depth that the band was capable of, not only because it featured more guitar solos than Mustaine's failed stints in rehab, but also because of the following events:

Inspired by the subject of this song and its video, Nick Menza and subsequent Megadeth drummers decided to convert their once humble drum kits into replicas of the spaceship that was rumored to have crashed in Roswell, New Mexico. Note the floating bass drums, which mimic the propulsion mechanisms of the the craft.


In this picture, Dave Mustaine accepts the prestigious "Horrible Production Values In A Rock Video" award from Singapore's President Sellapan Rama.

And now, the masterpiece that made it all possible.