Thursday, October 22, 2009

Cancer: Never funny, except when it involves metal






If you are a decent human being, you say stuff like "Look, I have a great sense of humor, but some things just aren't funny. For example, I really didn't appreciate it when Guttermouth made fun of Siberian-American Huskies. How insensitive!! Another thing that's simply off-limits is cancer. This terrible disease kills over 500,000 Americans every year, and I can't think of anything worse than trivializing the impact it has on our way of life- not just as Americans, but as human beings! How dare you mock me for calling off of work on Tuesday to get an anal cancer exam!!"

Fortunately for you, I am only a marginally decent human being, so I present to you a video in which Peter Criss reveals that he had BREAST CANCER lolololololol!!! It's almost as funny as Seth Putman's sidesplitting overdose/suicide fail a few years back!

Anyway, enjoy- and here's hoping Gene Simmons gets struck by lighting!

23 comments:

  1. To clarify, NOTHING is as funny as Seths overdose.

    I have to give the guy "credit" though, playing "You're in a Coma" live after that was pretty cool.

    I just wish he could do it repeatedly until he's slowly debilitated himself into a Steven Hawking like state.

    He could sing "Don't Offer Me Weak Drugs Or I'll Kick Your Fucking Ass" in that robot voice, then someone can roll him off the stage into the pit.

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  2. I fucking hate Seth Putnam, wish he could at least do anything right..
    Is he still doing drugs?

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  3. robert deathrage broke his back and admitted to being addicted to meth "in the past". He also moved to utah for a carpeting gig that went bad and now lives in stockton. That's a little more depressing than an OD, no glory. you know which side won on that 7"

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  4. I've had cancer.
    It is pretty damn funny.

    Gene Simmons needs to disappear though. I don't want any memorials on him.

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  5. Why is it that Kiss members end up looking like ugly old ladies (and talking like one of them)? Can you get breast cancer if you look like an old dude (like it is supposed to be)? I'm confused.

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  6. The band Cancer is definitely pretty funny. The disease, not so much. I'm superstitious when it comes to cancer jokes. I feel that AIDS is just way funnier.

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  7. Speaking of stuff that is not funny, I saw this on CNN just now:

    A coalition of top musicians, including R.E.M. and Pearl Jam, want to know if their music was used by the U.S. military as part of controversial interrogation methods at the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

    Haaaa Haaa Hoooo Hooo Heee Heee

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  8. I'm waiting for Gene Simmons to do an interview and reveal that he invented both cancer and chemotherapy.

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  9. There's something about being Kiss drummer... that just give them a cancer! (remember Eric Carr?)

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  10. *sigh*
    No one will think this is funny, but what the hell, here goes.

    I went to a kiss convention back in the early 90's. It was right around the time that there was a "fake" Peter Criss going around pretending he was the real one (if anyone remembers this).

    Peter Criss was at this convention and I brought my Melvins "Dale Crover" solo album (its a Kiss parody) for him to sign...because Im an ass.

    He looked up at me and said "what the hell is this?" I said "the melvins. They are big fans". I then decided to be a smart ass to him and I said "how do I know you are the REAL Peter Criss?"

    Well....He just stared at me for a few seconds. He was so fucking pissed that I said that. With everything that had been happening to him with the imposter, he did NOT find it ammusing. I thought he was going to jump up and strangle me (in a feeble Mr Burns like attempt) or have me tossed out. Instead, totally at a loss he said "why dont we get naked later and Ill show you my tattoos? Then youll know Im the real thing".

    To this day I have no idea what that meant.

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  11. robert deathrage lived at my friends house in stockton and had a lineup of the meat shits going.

    then someone broke into his room and stole all of his shit.

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  12. ahahahaha, great story Savage. Thanks! And which tattoo did you like the most?

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  13. You know what is funny? That dead puppy on Peter Criss' head.

    Burch - Gene Simmons didn't invent cancer, he just copyrighted it.

    Savage - Great story. Peter Criss just jumped way up in my book. And I really have a book.

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  14. For the record, I did not see his "breasts". Bogus.

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  15. In this post, we shared many amusing anecdotes. I feel it was a very solid return on the 5 minutes I spent writing it.

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  16. Savage, your jokes were funny, but Peter Criss answer was priceless. I think he meant he wanted to show you his royal sausage ;-))

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  17. @ Frank
    I know what you are saying, but lets REALLY analyze this.

    I made him angry about what was happening in the media. He felt confused and awkward by the Melvins record (much like I am by BrokenCyde). I think his remark was some kind of defesne mechanism / comeback gone wrong. If he's gay im flattered, but WTF?!

    what do you guys think?

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  18. It's not really funny dude, you're a fucking douche

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  19. the only thing funnier would have been seth putnam getting ass cancer.

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  20. Seth Putnam seems to me like a guy whod be all wired on crank watching porn at his moms house while she was asleep and tugging on his little tiny weeny for 7 hours

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