Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I'm starting a band

Back when I played in a band (early to mid 90s) finding members to join in your musical escapades was difficult. More often than not, my brother and I simply reached out to people we already knew, and asked them to join our amazing musical projects. This is the relationship equivalent of dating your friends. We never opted for the equivalent of a personals ad (which would be a listing in a local paper, or the dreaded flyer at the guitar shop). Today, pretty much everything has changed by virtue of the darned interweb. Through Facebook, Craigslist, eHarmony and J-Date...people all over the world are gettin' it on with amazing efficiency. Since I always dream of starting a sweet band, I've chosen to use the interweb as my shopping tool, in order to find the ideal members for my new side project. What do you think?





Okay, so he flubs a few notes, and has one of the chords wrong on the main riff...but check out his commitment to the tune. I mean, the guy has an Ipod on a strap strictly for the purposes of practicing. I think he'd be a great addition.





This guy is a winner all the way. Rumor has it, he can crabwalk even better than Robert Trujillo, and he can do so in 7" heels. Beat that!






This girl is proof that the level of musicianship amongst today's youngsters has risen so far it's not even funny. When I was in a grindcore band, anyone who could play a simple blast beat for about ten seconds, or do pinch harmonics was a god. Jesus, times have changed.






Being gay AND Filipino must be super hard...just ask Kirk Hammett, he's already lost most of his hair due to the stress of living that way.

37 comments:

  1. One thing to remember is that guitarists and female vocalits are available in massive surplus quantities; a lot of bands don't really want any but end up with them anyway just because good ones are available for the taking. So I hope you're not one of them guitarists who can't sing because the competition is harsh.

    What that really means is that auditioning singers is a great way to meet a ton of cute chicks, even if you want to play music cute chicks hate such as metal.

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  2. Is that a Lucho post I see? Good to see you back on the M.I roster, Snr Metalles. The sarge has been using your cubicle to run a cockfighting ring.

    P.S Fix it so that us Name/URL types can leave comments over at C.I.
    I had some awsomely pithy things to say about that bike shop near Pl Espania.

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  3. i would buy a LP of that band, just to porn up to the looks of every one.

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  4. he smolken, have not noticed you here yet! welkom!

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  5. Howdy, Mories! I've only been reading Metal Inquisiton for a few months, but it's already inspired me to start a crunkcore band, so it made a real difference in my life.

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  6. I still think you should get that dude whose jaw looks like a urinal from your first "starting a band" post.

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  7. "Being gay AND Filipino must be super hard" and "I'm a kid who is 14 years old and hasn't gone to puberty yet" ahhhh, funny.
    Good to see you back Lucho. Thought you were going to be the next Awakening.
    The second video was too perturbing to finish watching. I didn't know if the stomach massages were for the purpose of taking a dump in camera or what, but just in case, I stopped watching it.

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  8. I'm trying to stay with it, as far as posts go...but you know, last week was my first week and a half off in nearly two years. not bad huh?

    Baked Ben, I had a feeling something was up while I was gone. My cubicle smells like pee pee and poo poo. I'm really dumb, so i'm not sure what I should do at C.I. so you can post urls in your comments, i guess that's what you're talking about? I'll go look.

    no comments about the sweet asian dude playing bass? That song is rad, and his slap bass is sweet!

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  9. Sorry Lucho, that's the video that scared me.

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  10. no comments about the sweet asian dude playing bass? That song is rad, and his slap bass is sweet!

    yes; combine it with blastbeats and you have yourself a new genre: 'mangacore' where all mail members dress up like manga characters and the female one as metal dudes. If you throw in some doodoo or/and peepee..that would be my religion

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  11. I still think 5-string basses and 7-string guitars are the kiss of death, and I don't mean that in a cool metal way. I remember being disappointed when Blackie came onstage with one of those when I saw Voivod (with Soundgarden opening!) about 20 years ago.

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  12. I'm ashamed to say I felt my cock move a little during that Japanese fellas video. Is there something wrong with me?

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  13. For whatever reason I was more freaked out by the "How To Death Grunt" instructional video than I was by the freakazoid playing bass. And that chick can really shred - if the Misfits ever decided to cover Blackened they have themselves a guitarist.

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  14. Here come the memories, as always...back in the 90s when I started a lot of projects. A really stressful situation, organizing rehearsals, just to see horrible drummers and guitarists trying to play Amorphis or Death or Slayer songs.
    Nowadays it's different, I can write everything at home, record basslines, add EZ DRUMMER drum machine, then call some friend to play lead & rhythm guitar.

    It's surely better now...and I'm not compelled to meet incompetent weirdos all the time.

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  15. If the internet had been readily available in the early 90's, then James Murphy probably would have played in over 200 bands in the span of three years.

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  16. That one chick should join Kittie.

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  17. I feel obligated to comment here only because my verification word is "scrote." No lie.

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  18. @ Alex: Yes.

    @ Grist: That is awesome.

    @ Lucho: Your vocalist should be Jon Becker.

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  19. @ Alex- No I there is nothing wrong with the way you feel... just don't get too close to me.

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  20. One says yes and one says no, I'm even more confused now...

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  21. That Japanese song is really mindblowing. Made me think of Pokemons on meth.

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  22. @Alex as I was reading your comment, my gaydar was beeping louder than normal. Sorry...

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  23. Matt from Denver, that's damned close-minded...and I don't even play 5-string bass or 7-string guitar. It's all about musical possibilities, man. Just FYI: your Blacky reference doesn't really work here. See, most 5-string basses have a low B string. Blacky wanted to strum huge chords on his bass-- let's face it, his duty was also to be a rhythm guitarist-- so he asked the luthier to add a high B string like a guitar has.

    But basically, just because a guitar or bass has a lower string doesn't mean the band wants to play like Korn.

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  24. Alex: you better change that monkey from your profile. I just saw in the news that a user from Facebook called Peter Chapman from Darlington UK had that same pic, met a girl thru facebook and killed her!!

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  25. @Misfits, it's ok I haven't killed anyone, either with or without that picture. Mind you, my name isn't Peter Chapman and neither do I live in Darlington. So that ought to eliminate me from the police enquiries anyway.

    and to anyone else still concerned about the cock moving thing, I banged a scenster girl last night, so everything is alright with the universe again. Not that there's anything wrong with kind of thing.

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  26. ahahaha, I know your name is not Peter Chapman, but you know how stupid the police is (I hope this doesn't get me in trouble! If they contact you because of the pic, don't give them my address Alex!). They must be looking at people with monkey with gun in their profile as potential murderers! When I was reading the news about the case, they specifically mentioned the fact that he had that same pic in his profile, like that was a sign (?!). I'm sure the guy liked Marylin Manson too.

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  27. He's not Peter Chapman, he's Mark David Chapman.

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  28. Ya know. I realize that we kid around a lot here, but I think I need to make a serious note here.

    She definitely isn't the poster girl for popular sexiness, but sometimes talent beats looks. Sure huge tits, and a vapid attitude are hot, but so is a lady who can dedicate herself to mastering an instrument way the hell better than most of us guys ever will.
    And that alone is enough to catch my interest.

    I've got an itch. And the only thing that can scratch it is a young female musician from Japan, who's raw sexuality comes from her talent more than her looks. (Even though she is pretty hot)

    Sure, Anime can be lame and J-Pop isn't metal at all (Shut up Marty), but that gals slap bass makes me want to slap ham, if ya know what I'm talkin' about....







    wait...whut?!?

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  29. Dude! what is up with the filipino kid's eyes???

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  30. That death grunting definitely made me feel uncomfortable. Oh well, we all start somewhere.

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  31. Sounds like a plan to me! That japanese dude in the stockings was crayz haha who would make a video like that!

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  32. that girl is not a very interesting guitarist. yes she can shred, but her playing is totally one dimensional.

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  33. These kind of post are always inspiring and I prefer to read quality content so I happy to find many good point here in the post, writing is simply great, thank you for the post

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  34. If you do start a band, make sure you check out this wordpress band theme though.

    By the way, 2 of the videos have been removed, only the buff guy is up.

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  35. Nice band show . I also like band show .

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