First and foremost, and in the spirit of full disclosure, I should tell you that I play the drums. I'm not sure if I'm a drummer, but I play the drums.
With that out of the way, I can now tell you something that you may already know: drummers tend to be some of the most odd human beings you'll ever meet. Who on earth would choose such a retarded instrument? It's the least portable instrument (okay, maybe harps and pipe organs are less portable), and one that requires that you physically attack it as though it's your worst enemy. As a result, it should come as no surprise that drummers are weird, unstable human beings. Back when I was in a band, we toured with another band who we were friends with. That band's drummer decided to bring his own pots and pans on tour so he could cook using his own equipment while on tour. I made fun of him relentlessly for this reason, only to realize that I myself had packed and brought an extensive array of cleaning and disinfectant sprays and fluids on tour with me. An array so plentiful, that it would have even been impressive to any C-Level executive at Procter and Gamble. I suddenly realized that drummers were in fact weird, but also that I was part of the problem. I was certainly guilty of falling in love with, and nurturing my childish idiosyncrasies. With that story out of the way, you can now more meaningfully enjoy these retarded drummers.
Did you ever want to see an instructional video featuring your balding uncle Frank showing you how to play a blast beat? Your dream has finally come true:
If I were his drums, I'd be afraid of being eaten. I feel bad for the dude, because he clearly has to run his own video equipment, since he has no one to help him. When you see and hear him play drums, you understand why no one wants to be around him, let alone help him. Nice Umbro shorts though.
This guy has the world's fastest feet, and I'm not just saying that. He won a contest. Have you ever heard the old joke about the special olympics? Even if you win at the special olympics, you're still retarded. (Insert rimshot sound effect)
I bet his mom cries herself to sleep.
This is a true story. When I met Mr. Gene Hoglan's Balls, I went to his apartment and saw a pair of drumsticks in his bedroom. I asked him if he played the drums, and he told me "No, I use those for air-drumming". The fact that an adult man, would air drum with drumsticks was shocking to me, but judging by this video, I guess it's common practice. I think for christmas, I'll buy Gene Hoglan's Balls a guitar pick so he can air-guitar.
An oldie but a goodie. Further proof that drummers are weird, and since british people are weird too, Mick Harris is pretty much a perfect storm of stupidity.