Monday, June 1, 2009

It's all about our fans, so introduce yourselves

Fans at our last autograph signing in New York City.


If you're like me, and you've been around metal long enough, you've probably heard every band on earth talk about how "it's all about the fans". Gene Simmons says it all the time, and Lars Ulrich says it every hour on the hour. He's so timely about it, actually, that most atomic clocks are set according to Lars spewing that line. Look, I know that Gene Simmons doesn't really count as "metal", but you get my point. I mean, I've even heard David Vincent say that "it's all about the fans"...so you know it must be true. Here at Metal Inquisition, we are no different. We love our fans, although it's worth mentioning that unlike Gene, and Lars, our fans have not afforded us the ability to live off of them. Notice I didn't include David Vincent in that last part about living off of someone, since I wouldn't exactly consider renting a two bedroom apartment in Tampa, along with our wife and three kids "living". Still, our monetary situation may change soon, since our line of yo-yos has yet to drop.

But I'm getting off topic. Over the last year and a half many of you have gotten to know us, the MI staff, through our fantastically well-written pieces. Now, we'd like to learn more about you, the MI reader. I often look to see who is currently reading the blog, and I see people from Argentina, Bulgaria, Italy, Turkey, and Belize. I also see readers from odd places like Exxon, Yale and Harvard, who I'm sure are writing their Phd dissertations about wigger slam, and are currently using us as a source. Through all this I'm left to wonder, much like Jerry Seinfeld did, "who are these people?" So I'm now asking you to tell us. Please! In the comments section, please answer the following:


1. Where do you live? (City, country)

2. How old are you?

3. What do you do for a living?

4. How did you first come to the blog?

5. How often do you check the blog?

6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ?

259 comments:

  1. 1. Oakland, CA

    2. 27

    3. Unemployed Legal Assistant (law student in '10)

    4. Excerpt on Metalsucks.net

    5. Daily

    6. Lars would most certainly get assaulted easily

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1. Quebec, Canada

    2. 19

    3. School and working backstore in a sport shop

    4. Searching for Varg Vikernes beard pics hahaha

    5. Every night around 1AM

    6. If Cliff didn't die Jason's amazing sideburns would have been lost to time

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1)LA recently of Brooklyn
    2)30
    3)Professional Cyclist
    4)Link from bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com
    5)I found it yesterday, but I have spent the last two days reading old posts.
    6)Carcass' Swansong. Cowbell? It's like they suddenly wanted to be Primal Scream or some shit.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 1. Borlänge, Sweden
    2. 34
    3. Teacher
    4. Through Metalsucks
    5. At least twice a week
    6. Yes, ja

    ReplyDelete
  5. 1. portland, OR.
    2. 30
    3. teacher's aid
    4. probably searching some retarded band on google.
    5. daily
    6. I guess I would kill lars, but I do like some of his drum parts and even though the dude is a total dick I can't help feeling like the real enemy is bob rock... so maybe I would use the nocturnus time machine to insure that bob rock would never walk the earth and hammer in that final horrid nail in the coffin of a once sweet band... rsults not yet in on how that would effect motley crue... but... results show that motley crue can for the most part fuck off... anyway...

    ReplyDelete
  6. 1. Melbourne, Australia
    2. 17
    3. Student
    4. Via metalsucks.net
    5. Tri-daily
    6. yes, easily

    ReplyDelete
  7. 1. brooklyn, ny
    2. 25
    3. restless lay-about
    4. google searching colombian bm band Inquisition october '08
    5. all the time
    6. i'd go back in time and kill the guy that wrote lords of chaos

    ReplyDelete
  8. 1. chicago

    2. 26

    3. art gallery flackey

    4. cultural studies thesis paper on wigger slam as authentic oppositional subculture

    5. once a week

    6. would probably time travel to age of discovering 'master of puppets' (8th grade, sorry purists) and replace sea foam flavored deodorant with suicide.

    ReplyDelete
  9. 1. seattle
    2. 30
    3. something disappointing
    4. linked by an mp3 blog, maybe cosmic hearse
    5. i check my rss reader 100000 times a day
    6. if i could run over anyone in 1986, it would probably be rick rubin

    ReplyDelete
  10. 1. Los Angeles, CA

    2. 31

    3. Merchandising

    4. George "Juicebox" Jesse

    5. Every chance I get!

    6. Lars

    ReplyDelete
  11. 1. Berkeley, CA

    2. 23

    3. Welder

    4. The Hearse

    5. Daily

    6. Yes?

    ReplyDelete
  12. 1. Hobart, Australia

    2. 20

    3. Soldier and part-time Barman

    4. Someone linked to it in a metal community I moderate

    5. Whenever it updates, because Google Reader's good like that

    6. Wouldn't everyone?

    ReplyDelete
  13. 1. Kaunas, Lithuania. But i've born and grown up and finished school in small village.
    2. 19
    3. Nothing. I'm studying physics at the moment.
    4. GoogleReader offered it to me.
    5. I'm subscribed to RSS, so i read every post you made. I don't know why i read it, i really hate your blog.
    6. Why not?

    ReplyDelete
  14. 1. Americana-SP, Brazil

    2. 18

    3. Student

    4. By a link about the Manowar investigative report on a Brazilian metal site.

    5. Daily

    6. Of course, and include Kirk on the accident.

    ReplyDelete
  15. 1. Perth, Australia
    2. 32
    3. Web developer
    4. link from somewhere, maybe metalsucks
    5. I use RSS, so whenever you post, I see it in the next 24 hours or so. teh miracles of teh internets!
    6. Judging by what has transpired since, and horrifying as it is to think of it, if the whole of Metallica had been "lost" in that accident, the world would have been left with a brilliant three album legacy. Yes, there are elements of Justice that are good... but would I sacrifice Justice in order to rid the world of Black, Load, Reload, and St Anger? Possibly. Probably.

    ReplyDelete
  16. 1. Where do you live? (City, country)

    Madrid, Spain, Good ol' Europe

    2. How old are you?

    24

    3. What do you do for a living?

    I spend most of the time in front of my computer trying to look like a productive worker. When I do something it's mostly programming and that kind of shitty things.

    4. How did you first come to the blog?

    My girlfriend told me about a blog full of metal-stupidity so I had to check it out immediately.

    5. How often do you check the blog?

    When my reader warns me of new and terrible content or when I feel like laughing at myself as a bald metalhead.

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ?

    Of course not, Load is the best Metallica album and that's all thanks to Lars...with some help of their best producer ever, Bob "Motherfucker" Rock. I'm serious on this one.

    ReplyDelete
  17. 1. Paris, France

    2. 30

    3. payroll technician

    4. through a post on Metalsucks about Joey DeMaio still living in his parents' basement

    5. daily

    6. it's tempting, but I'm freaked out by the butterfly effect

    ReplyDelete
  18. Austin, TX
    34
    Semiconductors
    By accident
    Once a day
    Yes

    ReplyDelete
  19. 1. Lecce, ITALY

    2. 34 in October

    3. Live sound engineer

    4. Aversionline.com

    5. Daily

    6. I second Shermstixx about Bob Rock

    ReplyDelete
  20. 1. Where do you live? (City, country): Barcelona, Spain

    2. How old are you? 25

    3. What do you do for a living? Studying a PhD (Advertising), and working at the University running the coordination of a Postgraduate course.

    4. How did you first come to the blog? Through a post in furiacontralamaquina.com

    5. How often do you check the blog? Every time you post something new, provided I have the time and mental energy.

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ? Indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  21. 1. Bicske, Hungary
    2. 19
    3. Student
    4. Some link at hellridemusic forum
    5. Daily
    6. Of course. There's no way to justify St. Anger

    ReplyDelete
  22. 1. Oxford, England

    2. 25

    3. Librarian & Part time Illustrator

    4. Aversion online i think

    5. Daily

    6. I wouldnt kill anyone, i think i would bring a dvd player a copy of st anger and some kind of monster back in time and show them what collossal loads they would become, i think the message would hit home and nobody would have to die and we could all go skating and flip out to mercyful fate and laugh at that picture of lars nob.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I thought it had to be sent by email, lol. Here it goes!

    1. Manresa, Barcelona, Spain


    2. 26 year old


    3. I'm architect in the morning and illustrator in the afternoon, of course I change clothes in a phonebox.


    4. I can't remember exactly... I guess it was through any random google search, such as momma pants.


    5. As often as you post thanks to Google Reader.


    6. Of course yes, I'd do anything for saving the world from seeing Björk in the theaters.

    Keep it up, MI :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. 1. Markina,(Basque Country) Spain,

    2. 33

    3. Lawyer

    4. East coast hardcore website

    5. Daily to laugh my ass off ;)

    6. No. The hilarious moments given by Lars and James are priceless and so embarrassing...

    ReplyDelete
  25. 1) Northern Italy
    2) almost 36
    3) I work with disabled people
    4) generic metal websurfing
    5) daily
    6) Lars...and Kirk, too.

    ReplyDelete
  26. 1. Uden, the Netherlands

    2. 21

    3. i make windows

    4. trough metalsucks

    5. once/twice a week

    6. yes

    ReplyDelete
  27. 1. A small town in northern Tuscany (Italy), close to the seaside...

    2. damn 30

    3. unemployed. going abroad in september to work somewhere else.

    4. I was websurfing at night and I found a link to the site, maybe cosmic hearse or illogical contraption. maybe. but I think I discovered the M.I. first.

    5. Daily, to see if I can laugh my ass off again

    6. DAMN, YES!

    ReplyDelete
  28. 1. Stockholm, Sweden
    2. 28
    3. Metaljournalist/Construction
    4. Aversionline.com
    5. Everyday
    6. Yeah, probably

    ReplyDelete
  29. 1-Porto, Portugal
    2-24
    3-Student/Chronic masturbator
    4-Through metalsucks
    5-Once or twice a day
    6-Anyone who says otherwise is lying. Besides that danish midget, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  30. 1. Krakow, Poland
    2. 24
    3. grad student
    4. I wanted to see if any death metal bands still made white shirts, so I kept typing, "white Obituary shirt," "white Carcass shirt", "white Impetigo shirt", etc into the Google search engine. When I typed "white Morbid Angel shirt", Metal Inquisition was the top link. I read Lucho's excellent essay on his merchandising skills and then spent the entire afternoon perusing through every MI post. That was more than a year ago.
    5. Daily
    6. If I had access to the Nocturnus time machine, I'd have the bus fall on top of Kirk Hammett. Why have the seemingly harmless Filipino die? Because I'd love to see an even larger bitch-fest thrown by Dave Mustaine in the Some Kind of Monster movie after Lars and James refused to allow him to audition for Metallica a second time.

    ReplyDelete
  31. 1.IRELAND
    2.36
    3.TAXIDRIVER
    4.METALSUCKS
    5.2 OR 3 TIMES A WEEK
    6.I'D LOVE TO KILL ALL OF THE FUCKERS WITH ME DRIVING THE BUS.

    ReplyDelete
  32. cultural studies thesis paper on wigger slam as authentic oppositional subculture

    A++++++++++++

    ReplyDelete
  33. 1.Grafenwohr, Germany for the time being

    2.27

    3.US Army flying unmanned planes

    4.It was probably from the SMN News death metal board

    5.About 3 times a week

    6.Lars would totally go down...multiple times

    ReplyDelete
  34. 1. Abertillery, Wales, UK

    2. 40 (old school!)

    3. IT Consultant

    4. Via aversionline

    5. Couple times a week

    6. Too fucking right. I'd also use it to ensure that Scott Columbus was the only drummer to turn up for the subsequent auditions just for a laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  35. 1.Augusta, GA
    2.35
    3.Realtor
    4.Metalsucks
    5.every other day
    6.hahaha........

    ReplyDelete
  36. 1. Dublin, Ireland

    2. 16

    3. public nuisance

    4. through Metalsucks

    5. daily

    6. yes (if I thought it would shut him up)

    ReplyDelete
  37. 1. Athens, Georgia

    2. 35

    3. I work for the University of Georgia.

    4. I don't remember...

    5. Whenever Google Reader tells me to.

    6. No, I'd probably switch out Randy Rhoads and Sharon Osbourne

    ReplyDelete
  38. 1. Where do you live? (City, country)
    Baltimore, Maryland

    2. How old are you?
    31

    3. What do you do for a living?
    Paid-Slavery

    4. How did you first come to the blog?
    Thru Metal Sucks but thru their squabble with Ian Robinson. So really Ian Robinson, but I don't read his site. Sorry Ian :(.

    5. How often do you check the blog?
    It's in my Google Reader so daily THOUGH some posts don't always get read (like the recent drawing ones...sorry Lucho :( ).

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ?
    NO...because that would immortalize/martyr the wrong guy. Fate was on track, had to be Kirk or Cliff.

    ReplyDelete
  39. 1. Oakland, CA

    2. 40

    3. Philosophy Professor

    4. The Hearse

    5. Every post, on my blogroll

    6. Don't care, stopped listening to Metallica in 1985 in favor of growing N/Y/H/C scene.

    ReplyDelete
  40. 1.) Greensboro, NC

    2.) 27

    3.) Administrative Assistant at Hospice, and grad student.

    4.) I can't remember how I got here, but I remember the night that I did I read about 7 months worth of backlog, it was so hilarious!

    5.) I've got the RSS feed up in the toolbar.

    6.) Who wouldn't?

    ReplyDelete
  41. 1. Norman, Oklahoma

    2. 28

    3. Fucking Walmart

    4. Looking for a picture of Gaahl, for purposes of making fun of Gaahl.

    5. Daily

    6. Running over Lars seems to be the obvious choice, but that leaves the potential of the 1996 me bitching about a mascara-clad, short-haired Cliff Burton, while talking about how Lars never would have tolerated such a decline.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Thank you for your responses. Keep them coming.

    A few thoughts:

    - Metal Sucks, Aversion and even Bikesnob deserve some props for sending you guys our way.

    - Most of you are little bit younger than I thought.

    - I'm partially jealous of the places many of you live. Sao Paulo, Perth, Porto, Barcelona. Zachary, i'm not so jealous of living in Krakow. I've been there...ehhh.

    ReplyDelete
  43. 1. Salt Lake City, Utah

    2. 29

    3. Policy enforcement and fraud investigations

    4. Researching the cure to Rob Flynn disease, though I fear I may already be too late.

    5. Whenever my RSS reader tells me to.

    6. I would force Cliff to run over the rest of his band at gunpoint. He would thank me later as I would proceed to regale him the shameful but true tale of S&M, Sad But True, Mama Said, Some Kind of Monster, and St Anger.


    ...damn most of us are somewhat young and the MI staff is probably old. Metal Inquisition should rename itself to Metal Dads haha just kidding, Dads

    ReplyDelete
  44. 1. Singapore.
    2. 32.
    3. law firm wage slave.
    4. via Aversion.
    5. every 2-3 days.
    6. probably.

    ReplyDelete
  45. 1. Peekskill, NY

    2. 31

    3. Software Engineer

    4. No fucking idea.

    5. Subscribe to the RSS feed in Google Reader, so I read it the second you publish it.

    6. Yes

    ReplyDelete
  46. 1. Where do you live? (City, country)
    Lima, Perú

    2. How old are you?
    26

    3. What do you do for a living?
    Electronic Engineer

    4. How did you first come to the blog?
    Maybe thanks to a link on a forum.

    5. How often do you check the blog?
    Daily

    6. Not really, because I'm pretty sure everybody wouldn't know what a douche Lars is and will be remembered as the best drummer in the metal history.

    ReplyDelete
  47. 1. Venice, Italy.
    2. 38
    3. High school teacher.
    4. Someone on the Metalsludge Gossip Board mentioned this blog so I had to find out about it.
    5. Daily.
    6. Of course.

    ReplyDelete
  48. 1.New Jersey
    2.26.
    3.Dog Walker, Grad student
    4. Followed the link from Aversion Online back in March last year
    5.Daily

    ReplyDelete
  49. 1. Zagreb, Croatia

    2. 30 (old farts represent!)

    3. A slave for the Man

    4. Through Aversionline

    5. Daily

    6. Couldn't give a flying fuck about Metallica. They can all be run over by different motor vehicles for all I care.

    ReplyDelete
  50. 1. New Haven, CT (I'm probably the yale you keep seeing)

    2. 26

    3. IT/AV support

    4. Through BCO when it was first started

    5. At least every work day

    ReplyDelete
  51. 1. Brooklyn, NY
    2. 27
    3. Project Manager
    4. co-worker/friends emailed links
    5. as often as it's updated
    6. Yes

    ReplyDelete
  52. 6. I would go back in time and find some way to have Bob Rock be on the bus, then have him get run over.

    ReplyDelete
  53. 1. memphis, tn
    2. 35
    3. college professor/program coordinator
    4. i believe it was aversion or invisible oranges
    5. daily
    6. definitely lars.

    ReplyDelete
  54. 1. Los Angeles, CA.
    2. 32
    3. PhD Student, UCLA. I was already a PhD Candidate when I got to know about wigger slam, so my committee didn't allow me to change topics.
    4. thru http://truepunkmetal.blogspot.com/ a year ago. That same day I found out that people were posting mp3s of difficult to find stuff on blogs and metal inquisition. What a day!
    5. Depending on how productive I am that day, so it ranges from every 5 to 30 minutes.
    6. Too difficult to say something that hasn't been said after 50 previous comments. Sorry.

    Well, now you know everything about your fans, now we want to know more about the stars.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Misfits, if by "stars" you mean the writers of the blog...i have to tell you that you'd be disappointed. although judging by what most of you for a living, i'd say perhaps we're no more boring than most of you.

    ReplyDelete
  56. 1. Where do you live? (City, country)

    Buenos Aires, Argentina

    2. How old are you?

    31

    3. What do you do for a living?

    outsourced for an american auto maker going bankrupt

    4. How did you first come to the blog?

    don't remember

    5. How often do you check the blog?

    daily

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ?

    probably, but I'll have to agree with Gary

    ReplyDelete
  57. 1. Where do you live?
    ---
    Providence, Rhode Island)

    2. How old are you?
    ---
    24

    3. What do you do for a living?
    ---
    Web developer for a university

    4. How did you first come to the blog?
    ---
    Probably via Metalsucks

    5. How often do you check the blog?
    ---
    Daily

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ?
    ---
    Yes, and I would have foreseen it via the Nocturnus Crystal Ball

    ReplyDelete
  58. 1. Charleston, SC

    2. 38 (raising the average even more)

    3. Scientist/Assistant Professor

    4. Probably a Google search on Brokencyde

    5. 3-4 times a day

    6. No. It's not the metal thing to say, but I would be to scared to fuck with the whole space-time continuum. It can always get worse.

    ReplyDelete
  59. 1. Winnipeg
    2. 37
    3. accounting clerk
    4. A friend sent me a link (from Metafilter I think) to your Christian Black Metal Photo Spectacular
    5. Daily
    6. Neither. Cliff would've kept in line.

    ReplyDelete
  60. 1. Gateshead, England

    2. 28

    3. Operating Department Practitioner

    4. From Aversion Online

    5. Sheeeeiiiiiittt

    ReplyDelete
  61. 1. Cleveland, OH

    2. 32

    3. Venue owner

    4. Random google search brought up the Great Moments in Art History pieces and I've visited for the cultural and anthropologic insights since

    5. Refresh, refresh, refresh

    6. Only Cliff would survive and he'd embark on a career of bass solo albums

    ReplyDelete
  62. 1. Where do you live? (City, country) São Paulo, Brazil

    2. How old are you? 36 years old.

    3. What do you do for a living? I´m a lawyer.

    4. How did you first come to the blog? A link posted by a friend.

    5. How often do you check the blog? Everyday.

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ? Sure! Back and forth!

    ReplyDelete
  63. 1. Nysa, Poland
    2. 35
    3. highschool teacher
    4. looking up "voivod artwork" in google
    5. daily
    6. no, since only the good die young and Laaz is as evil as it gets.

    ReplyDelete
  64. 1) milwaukee, wi
    2) 28
    3) social worker
    4) aversionline
    5) 4-5 times/week
    6) of course, who wouldn't?

    ReplyDelete
  65. 1. Melbourne, Australia

    2. 18

    3. Student - arts, music industry

    4. Probably from MetalSucks

    5. Daily via Google Reader

    6. Nothing against Lars, but it probably would've improved the music.

    ReplyDelete
  66. 1. Where do you live? (City, country)NJ,USA

    2. How old are you? 33

    3. What do you do for a living? Conference Call Rep.

    4. How did you first come to the blog? A bud of mine sent me the link

    5. How often do you check the blog? Everyday

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ? Lars LOL!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  67. 1. Buffalo, NY USA
    2. 35
    3. Advertising Copywriter
    4. Can't remember how (link from another blog I think)
    5. Every day
    6. Leave Lars alone. Yeah, he's annoying, but every band needs their PR guy and he was it early on, doing all the interviews and blah, blah, blah. But now that it's beyond 1992, and EVERYBODY knows who the band is, he should just shut the fuck up.

    ReplyDelete
  68. 1. Richmond, VA
    2. 32
    3. IT
    4. Aversionline
    5. Daily!
    6. And give anyone a chance to mourn that sack of crap?

    ReplyDelete
  69. 1. Madison, WI

    2. 29

    3. I clean up toxic and radioactive waste.

    4. searching for blog posts on old thrash bands.

    5. Daily

    6. No. It's pretty clear that they have bad taste in finding replacements. Imagine what would've happened had they gone on a search for drummers.

    ReplyDelete
  70. 1) Chicago, IL, USA

    2) 24

    3) Data entry for the US DOJ

    4) Can't recall...

    5) Several times daily

    6) Would it make a difference? He'd probably end up leaving anyways...

    ReplyDelete
  71. 1. Raleigh, NC, USA

    2. 16. 17 in 3 days.

    3. Nothing. My parents want me to have a job, and I could very well have one if I wanted one. But I don't want one.

    4. From the Deciblog about half a year ago.

    5. Daily.

    6. If I had access to the Nocturnus time machine, I would stop the bus and introduce Metallica to Gene Hoglan of Dark Angel about one mile down the road, solving the Lars problem entirely, and guaranteeing that St. Anger would never exist.

    ReplyDelete
  72. 1. Winnipeg, MB, Canada

    2. 34

    3. Librarian!

    4. Friend sent me link to Grim Reaper post

    5. Daily

    6. depends on a couple of things...

    ReplyDelete
  73. 1. Where do you live? (City, country)
    Manchester, England

    2. How old are you?
    20

    3. What do you do for a living?
    Chemical Engineering Student at Manchester university, living on student loans and grants!

    4. How did you first come to the blog?
    I think i googled hot chicks and slam metal, for reasons that escape me now, and happened upon your "do any hot chicks like wigga slam?" post. the rest is history

    5. How often do you check the blog?
    about twice a week, depending on how bored i am

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ?
    With all the amusement lars has given me, I'd just let it happen as it did. I'm pretty sure Metallica would have fucked up anyway.
    Instead i would bring screamo crunk fashion to generic 80's thrash metal as a social experiment

    ReplyDelete
  74. 1. Seattle, WA

    2. 28

    3. Graphic Designer / Illustrator

    4. BSNYC. It was love at first sight.

    5. More often than my work would care to know.

    6. but but... Lars is like the greatest drummer of our generation! Yeah, he'd be dead.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Atlanta, GA USA

    32

    Art Installation

    A fellow recovering hesher tipped me off.

    Daily

    Hard to say. What would something like that cost?

    ReplyDelete
  76. 1. Baltimore for school, Seattle during breaks.

    2. 21

    3. Student/Technical Editor

    4. A poster on the local forums was butthurt by the rest of the community encouraging diversity in musical influence, and in response posted one of Sarge's early wigger slam essays in a thread titled something like "STILL think metal should open-minded?"

    5. Daily. Can't get enough.

    6. I'm torn. As others have said, the wrong guy would be immortalized...but man, it'd be crazy to see the difference in history if Cliff survived and another member died instead, y'know? I'd rather just use the time machine to be in the studio for Mordred developing and recording Fool's Game.

    ReplyDelete
  77. 1. Guildford, UK
    2. 33
    3. Musician
    4. My brother pointed me in this
    direction
    5. Every couple of days
    6. If I'd have known how shit a drummer he was going to turn into, then yes, definitely yes. Maybe back up over him as well just to be sure...

    ReplyDelete
  78. 1. Vest Agder, Norway

    2. 20

    3. Unemployed as shit.

    4. Probably through some Paul Baloff post.

    5. Whenever I have nothing better to do, which is pretty much all the time.

    6. I would kill everyone but Cliff.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Lucho, Sarge, or GHB, out of curiosity, which MI entry received the most hits? I have a feeling it's either one of the installments of the Metal Real Estate series or the Manowar biography.

    ReplyDelete
  80. 1. Originally, I'm from Nis, Serbia, but currently I live and study in Budapest, Hungary.
    2. 31
    3. PhD candidate
    4. I think I was looking for embarrassing metal fan-pics, so naturally, I ended up here.
    5. As a student of moral philosophy, and a deontologist at that, I would have to say - no. Even Lars has certain basic moral rights which would make this kind of trade-off impermissible. Only sometimes, when catastrophes of immeasurable proportions (e.g. nuclear explosion that would wipe out whole NY city area) are involved, can we be permitted to disregard these basic rights, and in this case, there is no such catastrophe involved... oh, wait, I just remembered St.Anger! Ok, I change my answer to "yes".

    ReplyDelete
  81. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  82. 1. Boise, Idaho
    2. 45
    3. Tech Support
    4. Link from Belly Full Of Hell or some such shit
    5. Every weekday
    6. Repeatedly

    ReplyDelete
  83. 1) Bend, OR

    2) 42

    3) Painter

    4) I can't remember that far back.. I huff fumes for a living! lol

    5) Pretty much every day..

    6) No way!!! Chances are pretty good that those three muppets would've had more time to rub off on him and turn our beloved Cliff into a supreme douchelord.. just like them!

    ReplyDelete
  84. I just saw I answered question 6. as 5., and forgot to answer 5. altogether.

    So:
    5. Too often for my own good, and the good of my academic performance (several times a day).

    ReplyDelete
  85. 1. Cleveland, OH
    2. 34
    3. Unemployed student
    4. Illogical Contraption blog
    5. Subscribed by RSS
    6. Depends on what the voices are telling me at the time.

    ReplyDelete
  86. 1. Buffalo, NY

    2. old enough to have been in a band with Tommy Victor in the early 80s (it's true, i was).

    3. audio/video/web geek for non-profit arts center

    4. i don't remember ... but probably a link from some mp3 blog

    5. almost daily ... too old for RSS, sorry.

    6. i'm with the guy who said 'kill 'em all' ... save the world from the black album onward

    ReplyDelete
  87. Zachary, the post about Manowar's real estate holdings got a ton of views, and was translated in full (complete with image captions) to at least three languages. I think the one that got the most responses was the post about scene archetypes that sarge hates. if bikesnob nyc mentions the blog, we can see a spike in readership, though i imagine most of those people click on the link, see what this blog is and automatically go elsewhere. having said all that, this may be the post with the most replies thus far.

    an early post about black metal and high fashion got posted in a few legitimate fashion blogs in nyc, i don't know why, that was a visible spike back then also.

    ReplyDelete
  88. anonymous from Buffalo. Please tell me you have stories about Tommy Victor. Seriously, think about it and send them in!!!

    ReplyDelete
  89. 1. Where do you live? (City, country)

    York UK,(the Old York) for the next two weeks

    2. How old are you?

    34

    3. What do you do for a living?

    Archaeologist

    4. How did you first come to the blog?

    Sat in the Office on a job in Reykjavik a week before Christmas killing time instead of cataloguing finds searching for Black Metal on the net. I then spent the rest of that week reading the old pieces and trying not to laugh out loud or get sent outside into the snow...

    5. How often do you check the blog?

    When the Google reading list tells me of a new Piece and then a few more times to read the comments.

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ?

    No, I'd probably use it to go back to the days when we all had to write to each other in letters, record fifth generation tapes for people we'd never met in Kuala Lumpur or Sao Paulo and cherish strictly limited 500 pressed LPs and CDs far more than these modern day Myspace Emo cunts do.

    ReplyDelete
  90. 1. Saint Paul, MN, USA

    2. 22

    3. I'm a canvassar for a non-profit. Pretty much a glorified telemarketer.

    4. My room mate (who happens to have a doctorate in thrash) showed it to me.

    5. Usually once a day.

    6. No, instead I would wait until before they started writing the black album, then make the bus run over all of them.

    ReplyDelete
  91. 1. Ljubljana, Slovenia
    2. 21
    3. undergraduate
    4. friend gave me the link soon after the blog got started
    5. daily trough RSS feed
    6. consider what would the status of Metallica be nowadays if they suffered the fate of Lynyrd Skynyrd minus the airplane

    ReplyDelete
  92. 1. Bradford, West Yorkshire, UK
    2. 14
    3. Student, Paper round
    4. Searching for Obituary logo
    5. Daily
    6. Almost certainly

    ReplyDelete
  93. 1)Houston, TX

    2)31

    3)Rigger

    4)First saw the link on the Deciblog, glad I clicked on it.

    5)Daily

    6)Lars would have been toast for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  94. 1. Portland, OR
    2. 37
    3.Laid off steelworker with a philosophy degree. Go figure.
    4.Drunken search for "fat danzig" ha ha.
    5.At first, all the time, till i got rightly acquainted, then once a week or so.
    6.I would go back even farther, and whack a tennis ball at Lars' stupid neo-hippie father's ballsack.

    ReplyDelete
  95. 1. Dunkerque, FRANCE

    2. 26

    3. Port Agent

    4. through Decibel blog I guess

    5. almost daily

    6. oui oui!

    ReplyDelete
  96. 1. Los Angeles, CA but originally from Belize.

    2. 19

    3. Bum of a student

    4. Through MetalSucks.

    5. Every day.

    6. Yes ^^

    ReplyDelete
  97. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  98. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Andrea said...
    1. Lecce, ITALY
    <
    dude, you live like two hours from where my family lives in italy and over easter while i was visiting i got lost in lecce on my way to santa maria di leuca!

    ReplyDelete
  100. 1. Manchester, England

    2. 34

    3. Writer, musician

    4. Link from Metal Sludge

    5. Every few days

    6. Nah, everything would be the same, except they'd all be calling Cliff a sell-out instead of treating him like a god.

    ReplyDelete
  101. 1. Springfield, MO

    2. 31

    3. I work in a warehouse

    4. A friend of mine sent me a link

    5. Pretty much everyday

    6. Hell yes

    ReplyDelete
  102. 1. Satellite Beach, FL

    2. 20

    3. Hairstylist

    4. I don't know for sure, but I'm thinking it was probably through MetalSucks.

    5. Everyday.

    6. Ja, ja.

    ReplyDelete
  103. 1. Portland, OR

    2. 28

    3. Music Industry (work for a label, and as a consultant)

    4. My friend pointed me to an article where you were making fun of our label.

    5. Few times a week.

    6. I'd probably use it to keep me from buying Sadus' Swallowed In Black when I was a kid. I really hated that album.

    ReplyDelete
  104. 1. Chicago, IL

    2. 23

    3. grad student of cognitive psychology

    4. i think from Deciblog

    5. Daily (due to Google Reader)

    6. i'd have the bus kill Lars via penetration

    ReplyDelete
  105. I think you should also have asked what´s the "fans´" musical faves.

    ReplyDelete
  106. 1. Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, originally from New York city

    2. 23

    3. Basic training Company Commander for the US Army

    4. Aversiononline's blog

    5. Daily

    6. I would take all the retro thrashers with me through the time machine and let CLiff hit them instead

    ReplyDelete
  107. 1. Where do you live? (City, country)
    Timrå, Sweden

    2. How old are you?
    33

    3. What do you do for a living?
    Industrial worker

    4. How did you first come to the blog?
    Link from another blog.

    5. How often do you check the blog?
    3-4 times a week.

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ?
    For sure :)

    ReplyDelete
  108. 1. Genova, Italy

    2. 18

    3. Student

    4. Searching for "Joey DeMaio man-thong"

    5. Daily

    6. Yeah, and I would also include Kirk and James

    ReplyDelete
  109. 1. Tucson, AZ

    2. 29

    3. Symphony Orchestra; Violinist

    4. Metal Sucks

    5. Daily or thereabouts

    6. No, and make the Lars bashing stop already.

    ReplyDelete
  110. 1. Cresskill, NJ

    2. 21

    3. deliver food/engineer sporadically

    4. looking up "stage banter" in google

    5. semi-daily usually before i leave for work

    6. who cares lars masturbates into envelopes and sends them to himself

    ReplyDelete
  111. 1. Rapid City, SD

    2. 37

    3. Financial Advisor

    4. By recommendation

    5. Weekdays after the market closes.

    6. I'd take out the entire band of Anthrax.

    ReplyDelete
  112. This post reeks of an insidious corporate attempt to profile a target demographic. Possibly a tie-in to the "kill a poser, get a free yo-yo campaign"? You're not fooling me, MI. Seems I've over-estimated the intelligence of your readers, as well. Bogus.

    Metal Inquisition, 2009 = Metallica, 1991.

    If Metal Inquisition were a death metal bass player, it would be rocking a mesh shirt and a muffin top.

    If Metal Inquisition were a Celtic Frost album, it would be Cold Lake.

    I hope you guys can still live with yourselves when this blog is swathed in advertisements for Hot Topic and Victory Records.

    Pull it together, guys.

    ReplyDelete
  113. 1. New York, NY
    2. 28
    3. Senior Flash Developer
    4. Metalsucks
    5. Every other day or so.
    6. I don't think I would, because it would just end up showing everyone that Cliff wasn't a god, and would end up being a huge douche bag just like the rest of them. A douche bag with a mustache for that matter, so even worse.

    ReplyDelete
  114. 1. Where do you live? Brooklyn, NYC, USA

    2. How old are you?
    old

    3. What do you do for a living?
    I own (& tend bar at) a metal bar in nyc, among other things

    4. How did you first come to the blog?
    decibel mentioned it

    5. How often do you check the blog?
    when I have downtime at my other job, which varies wildly

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ?
    ABSOFUCKINLUTELY

    http://myspace.com/chisaiboo
    http://myspace.com/lucky13saloon
    and now, on here:
    http://melodylucky13.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  115. 1)Tallahassee, Fl
    2)32
    3)TV Producer
    4)Deciblog article highlighting MI Staff
    5)Daily
    6)As a fan of Carl Sagan, you should know that such an event could potentially rupture the fabric of space/time leaving us to exist in a "when" where Joey Belladonna is the singer for Metallica.

    ReplyDelete
  116. 1. Seattle, WA
    2. 26
    3. Grocery clerk...
    4. Aversion Online
    5. 4-5 times a week?
    6. Of course.

    ReplyDelete
  117. 1. Louisville, KY

    2. 17

    3. Unemployed Student

    4. Looking for humorous, vaguely insulting pictures of Messiah Marcolin and Robert Deathrage; first google result.

    5. Weekly

    6. YES. Also, I'd go back and euthanize Tom Warrior after "To Mega Therion" to prevent the atrocities of "Cold Lake".

    ReplyDelete
  118. Who, in the humble opinion of the MI staff, has the most interesting job?

    ReplyDelete
  119. 1.Athens,Greece,2.32,3.i work for the municipality of Athens,4.the 'good,bad music'blog,5.almost daily,6.most definitely.

    ReplyDelete
  120. 1. Where do you live?
    * Suburban Philly, U$A

    2. How old are you?
    * 31

    3. What do you do for a living?
    * Archivist / Radio DJ

    4. How did you first come to the blog?
    * Through Metalsucks.net, I think.

    5. How often do you check the blog?
    * Daily.

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff?
    * Absolutely.

    ReplyDelete
  121. 1. Where do you live? (City, country)
    Paris, France

    2. How old are you?
    28

    3. What do you do for a living?
    Live off of unemployment (no joke)...and I play guitar in Psychobolia (plugs: www.myspace.com/psychobolia www.psychobolia.com our album Fisting You All was released by Xtreem Music)

    4. How did you first come to the blog?
    Heard about the Manowar living in their parents' home article off of the Metal Sludge forum

    5. How often do you check the blog?
    Every day (and I get pissed when it's not updated every day! I know, sue me!!)

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff?
    No because then we'd have no And Justice for All and 5.98$ Garage Days EP!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  122. HookerVonSkankyassJune 1, 2009 at 6:10 PM

    I tried to read everyone else's comments first, but Jesus Christ there are 121 of them. I made it through half of them.

    Anyhow, like you guys really give a shit:

    1. Ledyard, CT for some reason.

    2. 32 - so, old enough to really get the jokes on this blog. Sorry, 19 year-olds, no way do I believe that kids that grew up in the internet age understand the majority of this stuff.

    3. Receptionist at a nursing home. Reach for the stars, kids!!!

    4. The metal thread on Something Awful.

    5. 420: smoke Metal Inquisition every day.

    6. I want to say yes, but as someone else mentioned, that would result in Lars being remembered as the greatest thrash drummer of all time and that's way too tragic to contemplate.

    Instead I'd go back to 1993 after Anthrax put out Sound of White Noise and beg them all to not put out any more music ever. Because I love that album, but dear Christ, they really needed to give it a fucking rest after that.

    ReplyDelete
  123. 1. San Luis Potosi, MEXICO

    2. 34

    3. Computer Sales

    4. I don't remember it has been a long time

    5. Everyday

    6. I rather not answer that

    I play in a death metal band !!!!!
    www.myspace.com/anlace

    ReplyDelete
  124. I would have to say my brother (Skullkusher) has the most interesting job out of all of us.

    As far as us using this data for marketing reasons, and to sell you crap down the line...absolutely! there will be a post about this just next week.

    ReplyDelete
  125. 1. Brooklyn, NY

    2. 29

    3. Information Architect (fancy term for dude who draws boxes that become websites)

    4. Roommate at the time linked me to it, with this description (Pidgin AIM client, FTW!): "it's kind of funny i guess it's just a metal blog, the dude is pretty funny though, a couple of the posts i just read." high praise indeed!

    5.Usually every work day

    6.Nah... I think i would make it not run over anyon. instead, i would appear from the shadows and defecate furiously on lars' face.

    ReplyDelete
  126. 1. Valdosta, GA

    2. Archives Librarian

    3. Found out about it through bco

    4. Daily

    5. Yes, but a little scared Cliff might have just douched out with the rest of them. But, it couldn't touch the heights of Lars' dickery, so the choice is easy.

    ReplyDelete
  127. 1. Boston, MA

    2. 28

    3. Special Ed Teacher

    4. I have Robb Flynn disease.

    5. In between razor treatments.

    6. Cliff wouldn't have a pool made of gold with sharks.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Left out my age - 29

    ReplyDelete
  129. I expect a full powerpoint presentation with graphs next week

    1. PacNW
    2. 31
    3. web stuff
    4. probably BCO
    5. daily
    6. eh, Metallica were probably doomed to start sucking eventually with or without Lars

    ReplyDelete
  130. 1. Houston, TX

    2. 18

    3. "student"

    4. Deciblog mentioned yall

    5. Several times a day

    6. i don't really care about metallica, but sure why not. if i had a Nocturnus time machine i would sto entombed from doing Wolverine Blues

    ReplyDelete
  131. 1. Maryland
    2. 45
    3. Cop
    4. Metalsucks
    5. Every weekday
    6. Tough call. I lean towards "yes' but the arguments against making Lars a legend are pursuasive. But fuck that guy, yes.

    ReplyDelete
  132. 1. Bogotá, Colombia

    2. 22

    3. Political scientist and law student

    4. Discussion in the Hellride Forum

    5. Twice a week

    6. Lars is my biggest hero EVER (sarcastically speaking... of course he should've died!)

    ReplyDelete
  133. 1. Where do you live? (City, country)
    Oakland,CA

    2. How old are you?
    33

    3. What do you do for a living?
    library

    4. How did you first come to the blog?
    linked to chunklet.com or wfmu blog


    5. How often do you check the blog?
    so frequently

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead
    of Cliff ?
    yes but then who could drum better than Lars? maybe a little kid with thier hand tied behind thier back.

    ReplyDelete
  134. 1. Seattle, WA.

    2. 36

    3. Artist for metal and bands of heavier genres.

    4. From a link that i friend sent me.

    5. Daily

    6. Lars would get run over and dragged for the rest of their tour.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Who, in the humble opinion of the MI staff, has the most interesting job?


    yeah, definitely Skullkrusher!! although it would probably be amusing if you found out what we all do.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Are you guys collecting information for the man? Tell them to stop following me!

    1. Tulsa, OK U, S, and A

    2. 38 I don't understand much of what is on this blog( wigger slam, screamo crunk, etc.) It frightens me. I'm too old for this shit.

    3. Install fire suppression systems.

    4. Google search for some shitty death metal band.

    5. Almost every day. I have no life to speak of.

    6. No. It is what it is, and I would not take another persons life. I would, however, save Cliff at the last second, take him into the future, have him rebuilt as a super sweet cyborg, play him some of Reload, then send HIM back in a berserker rage to destroy those who have sullied the name METALLICA! And also to invest some money for me.

    ReplyDelete
  137. 1. Baltimore, MD
    2. 28
    3. supervise film/video labs at a University
    4. I don't remember. link from some blog or googling something awesome.
    5. Daily. almost.
    6. As much as I hate Lars if Cliff was alive instead it is entirely possible he would suck as much as the rest of the band now. Personally, I am glad I don't have to think of him as an out of touch balding douche.

    ReplyDelete
  138. 1. Denver, CO.
    2. 31
    3. Occupational Therapist
    4. The Deciblog
    5. 2-3 times a week
    6. Yes, so I would never have to suffer by watching “Some Kind of Monster”.

    ReplyDelete
  139. 1. Guadalajara, jalisco, Mexico

    2. 21

    3. Suck Breast milk (student)

    4. Via Metalsucks

    5. Everyday

    6. Robb Flynn

    7. Thank yuo very much for the post of tom araya-amy winhouse, I send that picture

    8. Greetings from the Third World

    ReplyDelete
  140. 1. Austin, TX.

    2. 44.

    3. Something really boring involving insurance files (I can hear you falling asleep already).

    4. Found you in the DECIBEL blogroll.

    5. Every day.

    6. Hell fucking yeah.

    ReplyDelete
  141. 1. Chicago, IL
    2. 21
    3. Student in Cultural Studies doing final project on free-trade deregulation narratives in Arnold Schwarzenegger movies (top that for academic jerk-off, oppositional subculture guy!)
    4. Oddly, through Bikesnob, which is bizarre because I'm way more into jokes about throwback hats at brutal death metal shows and Manowar's waxing time than I am riding my bike.
    5. Just about daily.
    6. Can't we just have the bus lift off the ground like ET's bike and never be heard from again? They get deified like Burton is now, and never make the shitty albums we regret so much. And you get to see Dave Mustaine going overtly crazy with envy (and perhaps some divine terror) much earlier in his career.

    ReplyDelete
  142. 1. Mogi das Cruzes/SP, Brasil

    2. 36

    3. A legal assistant

    4. From friends at www.voivodfan.com

    5. Every time I access the net

    6. I'd go even farther as to kill whoever had the idea of kicking Mustaine off. Imagine the possibilities, on one side Metallica did Load/Reload, on the other, Mustaine comitted Risk. Imagine Load, Reload and Risk combined... I can forsee nightmares this night.

    ReplyDelete
  143. 1. Melbourne, Australia

    2. 36

    3. Work at a University fending off IT geeks with a stick.

    4. Metalsucks.net, which I no longer visit because the comments section makes me want to stab myself in the eye.

    5. When it pops up in my google reader.

    6. Kill 'em all.

    ReplyDelete
  144. 1. Melbourne, Australia
    2. 20
    3. Student (Philosophy Major)
    4. Bike Snob NYC
    5. Daily, right after Bike Snob NYC
    6. Cliff died? But in all seriousness, if i had access to the Nocturnus time machine, i'd be going back to ask how James went from care fee skater to red neck in the space of one album...are we to believe that Bob Rock is to blame for ALL these problems?

    ReplyDelete
  145. 1. Montreal, Canada. Vidin, Bulgaria

    2. 39

    3. Dockworker

    4. Some forum , a guy was crying because you made fun of manowar..

    5. Twice a week

    6. Ne

    ReplyDelete
  146. 1. The suburbs of Eastern Massachusetts
    2. 20

    3. Student, in the summer I work as a housekeeper in a nursing home

    4. From the Deciblog
    5. 5-6 times a week
    6. If I had access to the Nocturnus time machine I would have Gene Hoglan's dad fuck Lar's mom so Lars could actually have some drumming ability

    also my musical tastes are really different than the MI Staff. I prefer epic and melodic stuff in the power,prog and doom genres.

    ReplyDelete
  147. 1. Austin, TX

    2. 21

    3. Journalist currently looking for a job (major lulz)

    4. Friend posted a link on Facebook to one of your articles about Winds of Plague, been a fan ever since

    5. Once a day

    6. How could you ask that? Some Kind of Monster is in Citizen Kane league!

    ReplyDelete
  148. 1. Chicago, IL. USA

    2. 35

    3. Graduate student, not "working" now but I'm not sitting at home either.

    4. I have no idea. It's one of my favorites though.

    5. Every week or so

    6. Yes, though I still think Metallica with Cliff would suck now. He'd be horrible with short hair and designer clothes. Drummers are easily replaced so no one would notice Lars missing.

    ReplyDelete
  149. 1. Seoul, South Korea

    2. 23

    3. Public school English teacher

    4. goodbadmusic.com

    5. daily

    6. Eh, it's Metallica

    ReplyDelete
  150. 1. Sayreville, NJ

    2. 43

    3. Sock puppet at a widget factory

    4. I was looking for the Piledriver album of the same name

    5. Every 24-48 hrs except on weekends

    6. I would run Lars over with the bus then back up and do it again, then park it with the rear tire still on his head to be positive he was dead.

    ReplyDelete
  151. 1. NYC
    2. 26
    3. Grad Student
    4. Message Board Link
    5. 3-4 Times A Week
    6. They'd all die.

    ReplyDelete
  152. 1. Eugene, Oregon
    2. 37
    3. freelance writer
    4. Google Reader suggested it
    5. once weekly or so
    6. no, Kirk would get it, even though I crushed hard on him at one time long ago

    ReplyDelete
  153. 1. Springfield Massachusetts USA

    2. 27

    3. promoter/manager/booker/talent buyer/producer/babysitter/student

    4. metalsucks

    5. couple times a week

    6. yes I would lars is such a douche bag and nowhere near as talented as Cliff

    ReplyDelete
  154. 6. Lars would most certainly get assaulted easilyhow did i miss this?!

    ReplyDelete
  155. If I had access to the Nocturnus time machine... Kirk would've stayed with Exodus, Dave would've had an 'accidental' overdose, James and Lars would both be in a fatal bus crash on the way to their day jobs and Cliff would be playing on the newest Voivod album.

    ReplyDelete
  156. 1. Pensacola, Fl

    2. 20

    3. student

    4. looking up slam...

    5. daily

    6. I would choke anyone who suggest to start using a keyboard, the other question was too obvious

    ReplyDelete
  157. 1. Canberra, Australia

    2. 24

    3. Programmer

    4. Mate linked it

    5. Whenever I check google reader and a new post is up

    6. Does this question even need to be asked?

    ReplyDelete
  158. 1. A small place, Sweden

    2. 28

    3. Unemployed

    4. Think I was searching for stupid black metal pics or something like that

    5. 3-4 times a week

    6. Most definitly, yes

    ReplyDelete
  159. 1.Bucharest, Romania
    2.28
    3.IT engingeer
    4.Metalsucks.net
    5.From time to time
    6.I would have saved both of them, and later on fire the bastard that sugested the "Load" era

    ReplyDelete
  160. 1. Berlin, Germany.

    2. 28

    3. product manager

    4. via the deciblog

    5. 3 times a week

    6. no

    ReplyDelete
  161. Paradise for the DamnedJune 2, 2009 at 7:38 AM

    1. Dunedin, New Zealand
    2. 19
    3 Law Student/writer/metal Dl for college radio station
    4. The Deciblog or the Decibel forum
    5. Weekly, always during my show
    6. I'd have Cliff survive, and have Lars' legs get run over by the bus so that they had to replace him. This way, we get to have Cliff and we get to see Lars make a fool of himself on some kind of monster, all whilst laughing at him for being in a wheelchair.

    ReplyDelete
  162. 1. Raahe, Finland
    2. 30
    3. crane operator
    4. some linked this at one msgboard
    5. few times a week
    6. yeah, lers could go instead

    ReplyDelete
  163. i have to say that an unusually high number of you working at nursing homes. i mean, it's not a common job, and yet a few of you do.

    also, many of you are grad students, phd candidates etc. i'm glad to see that smart people are reading this blog...i'm sure it's a bit more challenging than the journals you have to read...but stick with it. eventually you'll understand the blog. i have faith in you.

    ReplyDelete
  164. 1. Where do you live? (City, country)
    Monroe, LA

    2. How old are you?
    37

    3. What do you do for a living?
    Network engineer

    4. How did you first come to the blog?
    Friend sent me the link


    5. How often do you check the blog?
    Every day

    6. Fo sho

    ReplyDelete
  165. 1. drachten; netherlands
    2. 35
    3. graphic designer
    4. can't remember
    5. every day
    6. yes :)

    ReplyDelete
  166. Lucho -- my Tommy Victor stories are not that interesting ... he was a nice guy! we were young & hungry & stole cigarettes from each other. i'll write something and send it to you and you can be the judge.

    --anonymous in Buffalo

    ReplyDelete
  167. 1. Glasgow, Scotland

    2. 41

    3. Own a nightclub/venue and DJ

    4. a link from somewhere less interesting

    5. at least once a day

    6. Yup

    ReplyDelete
  168. 1. Athens, Greece. The land of gyros and flip-flops.

    2. 27

    3. Unemployed loser / Graphic designer / Bon viveur

    4. A friend told me about it. He described it as
    a blog of self-hating metalheads who seek revenge on
    the entire metal subculture for ruining their lives.

    5. Daily

    6. It doesn't matter. I only like the demo.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Lucho, I also think that there are lot of librarians. And if I have to bet, I'd say the Sarge has an MBA, so his job must be boring.

    ReplyDelete
  170. 1. Monterrey, Mexico

    2. 24

    3. (current) Recording Engineer / Music Teacher - (former) Programmer / Data-base Manager

    4. Searching for something related to At The Gates... man, was that a wake-up call or what?

    5. 3-4 times a week.

    6. I'm kinda unsure about this. For one, it would be sweet as fuck to not have to deal with that dude (Lars), but I would rather cause something to make sure he stays the fuck out of metal right from the start.

    As much a wuss move as it sounds, I don't want the gruesome demise of a Danish nutjob fucking up my karma. But yeah, Cliff would have to live: Who else would beat some sense into Hetfield? The dude with the shitty facial hair? No chance in hell.

    ReplyDelete
  171. 1-Brasil

    2-26

    3-graffiti writer

    4-my friend told me about the blog

    5-once a month

    6-i´´d kill the whole band

    ReplyDelete
  172. 1. Toledo, Ohio

    2. 35

    3. Computer programmer

    4. Bike Snob

    5. Whenever a new post shows on my Google homepage

    6. It's like Hendrix et. al. I sometimes shudder to think what they might have become if they had lived. Their deaths are tragedies to be sure, but not as much of a tragedy as say the possibility of Hendrix Playing Disco or Burton playing Nu-Metal. It's a better narrative if they exist as fallen legends.

    ReplyDelete
  173. 1. Eugene, Oregon

    2. 35

    3. Unemployed sociologist (goddamn it!)

    4. Don't remember - probably from a punk or metal music blog a few months ago.

    5. About twice a week

    6. Couldn't they all have died?

    ReplyDelete
  174. Atlanta, Georgia

    17

    student

    via MetalSucks.net

    once a week, twice a week, or less

    I shouldn't meddle with time, but Lars is a douche.

    ReplyDelete
  175. 1. Boston,Mass.

    2. 29

    3. eBay, pizza delivery

    4. Metal Bastard

    5. Daily

    6. I would go back and get the sports almanac from Biff.

    ReplyDelete
  176. 1. Seattle, WA
    2. 36
    3. Baker
    4. Youtube, of all things
    5. I would have to experiment on that one, first I would prevent the whole bob rock meeting, then kill off their wives(suckubuses) and see where they go from there. I would definetly wait till after the Justice Album. After that I would make sure that Seargent D's dad double wrapped that fateful night and hence no 'crunk metal' or such horrid hardcore postings would ever reach my eyes.
    I would also ensure Manowar never fades from MTV so that we have loads more material to laugh about. Life is good with MI.

    ReplyDelete
  177. 1.Leuven, Belgium

    2. 25

    3. educator

    4. The guy from Monster X & true punk and metal blog linked it.

    5. Weekly

    6. Duh.

    ReplyDelete
  178. 1. Boston, MA

    2. 25

    3. Online Advertising Trafficker

    4. MetalSucks

    5. Once a day during the work week

    6. No, just because it's nice to blame every disappointing thing the band has done on Cliff not being there. "Cliff never would have cut his hair! Cliff never would have played on a country ballad! Cliff would have laughed Kirk's riff for 'Enter Sandman' right out of the room and punched him in his horrifically crooked teeth!" I mean, I totally feel like I know the man personally because I listened to him play bass on 26 songs! I mean, he wore Misfits shirts, so he was totally metal... or something?

    ReplyDelete
  179. 1. Finland
    2. 21
    3. Unemployed alcoholic druggie
    4. Through a link at Hellride Forum
    5. Occasionally when looking for a nice read

    ReplyDelete
  180. 1. Viareggio, Italy
    2. 32
    3. Reasearch on computational chemistry.
    4. A friend sent me a link.
    5. Daily, from the feeds.
    6. Why not? In the end, Cliff was a great bass player while Lars isn't a great drummer, plus he's a certified idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  181. 1. cape town, south africa

    2. 29

    3. web developer

    4. I actually have no idea.

    5. once a day, or till something new gets posted.

    6. if I had access to the nocturnus time machine not only would I make the bus squash lars' annoying oversized danish melon but I'd film it happening so I could watch it again to cheer myself up when I'm feeling down.

    ReplyDelete
  182. 1. Helsinki, Finland
    2. 37
    3. Graphic designer
    4. It was some post about Danzig which was linked by some page I´ve forgotten
    5. Almost daily
    6. Yes

    ReplyDelete
  183. 1. Where do you live? (City, country): Norfolk, Nebraska

    2. How old are you?: 28

    3. What do you do for a living?: attorney

    4. How did you first come to the blog?: Can't remember, probably followed a link from some other site.

    5. How often do you check the blog?: Once a day, sometimes twice if the first time I checked was really early in the morning.

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ?: I would love to say yes, but Cliff was pushing the band in another direction too, or so I have heard.

    ReplyDelete
  184. 1. brooklyn n'york

    2. 23

    3. computer fucker wither

    4. hard to say at this point. overexposure to sloppy blast beats has frazzled my memory

    5. soon as i get in to work every fucking day

    6. i think i would instead go back and join carcass. i could give a fuck about metallica anymore as they would have found some way to goon it up at some point, if it hadn't already started then.

    ReplyDelete
  185. 1. Indianapolis, IN

    2. 36

    3. Forecast Analyst

    4. Probably came across MI from scouring the intertubes for ridiculous black metal band pics.

    5. 3-4 times a week during down time.

    6. Wasn't Anthrax also on that tour or an intersecting tour with Metallica when that bus crash occurred? What if, and stay with me on this... What if the bus crash killed Scott Ian instead of Cliff? Would we be in a better metal place now? Please feel free to discuss amongst yourselves.

    ReplyDelete
  186. 1. Where do you live? (City, country)
    Portland, OR USA

    2. How old are you?
    37

    3. What do you do for a living?
    Paralegal

    4. How did you first come to the blog?
    My buddy Mike, he can be found at:
    http://convulsingdischargeofinanity.blogspot.com/

    5. How often do you check the blog?
    I have it on my homepage, I run through the new ones about once a week if nothing grabs me.

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff?
    I'd run that little bitch over right now.

    ReplyDelete
  187. 1. Redondo Beach, CA

    2. 31

    3. Get paid make up lies about celebrities and stare at pictures of famous chicks.

    4. Trying to find something to blast my quads to.

    5. Hands down Lars. An equally proficient drummer could have been easily found but doubt it would have prevented the shorthaired mess that started at the black album.

    ReplyDelete
  188. 1. Chicago, IL, USA

    2. 36 yrs young.

    3. At a law school.

    4. from nate wilsons blog "true punk and metal"

    5. 3-4 times a week.

    6. metallica died WITH cliff.

    ReplyDelete
  189. 1. burbank, ca (los angeles area)
    2. 36
    3. graphic designer/apparel designer
    4. someone mentioned it on the livewire records messageboard (forums.livewire-records.com)
    5. every couple of days
    6. i don't care about metallica at all, but lars is a total douche because of that whole napster thing, so yeah... mow lars over!

    ReplyDelete
  190. 1. Albany, NY


    2. 25


    3. I sing in a shitty death metal band called The Fatal Hour. Also I'm a Materials Engineering Technition for fun on the side.

    4. Through Metal Injection


    5. Daily

    6. I'd make sure they all died. Sure we'd loose And Justice for All. But it's a small price to pay to save us from years of shitty albums to follow. Not to mention all the stupid crap we've had to hear come from their mouths over the years

    ReplyDelete
  191. 1. Toronto, Canada
    2. 30
    3. Television Broadcasting
    4. link from a friend to the worst Black metal videos
    5. Daily to a few times a week
    6. the whole band must die for the future benefit of all mankind. Cliff might be aloud to live

    ReplyDelete
  192. 1. Madrid, Spain (right now in San Francisco improving my poor English).

    2. 25

    3. Unemployed

    4. I was searching how to use the possesive "´s" on the net and i found your blog...no,im just kidding. I know a friend obsessed with this blog for a while.

    5. Daily

    6. We all know that the whole band died in that accident. Metallica are now cyborgs.

    ReplyDelete
  193. 1. Hartford, CT

    2. 24

    3. Janitor entering grad school

    4. Came across it through your 'Prog Metal Goes Wrong' post while at work

    5. Daily

    6. I'd like to say Lars, but I don't think it would have made a difference.

    ReplyDelete
  194. 1. Epinay sur Orge (near Paris), France

    2. 27

    3. Librarian

    4. A friend told me about me about it.

    5. Each time there is a new post thanks to google reader.

    6. i would probably try different combination by coming back and forth in time to see the what dead band member works best for the future of metallica.

    ReplyDelete
  195. 1. Where do you live? (City, country)

    Athens Greece

    2. How old are you?
    27

    3. What do you do for a living?

    Pretend i work

    4. How did you first come to the blog?

    Some link in a blog

    5. How often do you check the blog?

    Often

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ?

    Don't care

    ReplyDelete
  196. 1. Santiago de Chile

    2. 30

    3. Profesor de Literatura

    4. A forumite from RuthlessReviews share the link

    5. Not as often as I would like, because of the fucking job

    6. No, cause their best album was And justice for all

    ReplyDelete
  197. 1. Where do you live? (City, country)

    Northern New Jersey, USA

    2. How old are you?

    Going to be 42 in two months

    3. What do you do for a living?

    I am a banquet captain, that clown that ran your prom or wedding.

    4. How did you first come to the blog?

    Link from some other blog, maybe Cosmic Hearse or Kick to Kill.

    5. How often do you check the blog?

    Daily.

    6. If you had access to the Nocturnus time machine, would you go back in time and make the bus run Lars over instead of Cliff ?

    Fuck that! Have a born again Dave make them a Christain Metal band, thus making them a footnote to metal history. As a plus, no Metadeth.

    ReplyDelete
  198. 1. Lawrence, Kansas

    2. 23

    3. Student, Radio DJ, Movie Theater Employee, Deli Employee

    4. My buddy Willie told me to check it out and I was not disappointed!

    5. Every day! Duh!

    6. Obviously!

    ReplyDelete
  199. Are you still reading them at this point? Damn, you must have no life if so. Carrying on...

    1. London, England

    2. 20

    3. In university, plans on world domination to follow

    4. I was looking for articles on slam death metal and your wigger slam stuff came up. My boyfriend at the time and I were killing ourselves over your articles!

    5. Used to be daily but my net connection died so it's whenever I'm on my mum's laptop (metal) or a friend's place. So ever 2 - 4 days, I guess.

    6. Hell yeah, then I'd get the bus to destroy Alestorm who were no doubt kids at that time and thus easy to immolate.

    ReplyDelete