Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Malevolent Creation Guitarist Kills A Crackhead


Yes, you read that correctly. No, I did not make this up. Read all about it here and here. Apparently he was just trying to buy some chocolate milk. Only in Florida, folks. Thank God Phil survived this harrowing incident. What would the world do without this genius?

41 comments:

  1. The best part is that he gets "a lifetime supply of free chocolate milk" for shooting someone in the face.

    Also, for being in a "brutal" death metal band, he doesnt seem to really enjoy death of any sort.

    Poseur.

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  2. I happened to blog about this on Saturday, and I'm going to agree with savage, the best part was the lifetime supply of chocolate milk. Although I think the fact that he went to the convenience store to get chocolate milk in the first place is pretty funny in itself. Of all the things to go into a store to buy...

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  3. I remember someone telling me that there was some death metal vocalist in a pretty 'big' USDM band that drank chocolate milk before shows to get his growls sounding good so it's supposedly more death metal than it sounds. Wish I could kill someone and get free chocolate milk.

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  4. Matt from JerseyJuly 7, 2009 at 8:26 PM

    Actual Malevolent Creation lyrics, re: crack.

    Monster - from the album Retribution (an all time fave)

    Seize the pipe, offer your life, inhale this obsession.
    Filling the lungs of minorities youth, coincidental connection?
    The sickness spreading, into their lives, free-base infecting.
    Who will pay for their lives?

    *The gullible one grabs his gun, sticks it to your head.*
    For a piece of smoking disease, squeeze the trigger until you're dead.

    Mind is thrown in disarray, for a vice, unconscious slay.
    Governmentally induced, no one except yourself to blame.

    *No one to blame, suicide this game.*

    Shell of a man left to wither and die.
    Deteriorating waste, ignoring his mind's cry.
    Addiction continues, more population to abuse.

    MONSTER!

    Expanding into your lungs, banish your right of thought.
    Tasting your foul sorrow, sickening trend of this plot.

    Is this what your soul commands? How much rock can you smoke?
    Easy prey for government plans, take this genocidal toke.

    Monster!, Monster!, Monster!

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  5. Am I the only one that thinks this story is absolute bullshit?

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  6. The family of said crackhead will now find that their long lost relative was murdered by someone who is racist in print, and sue the broke death metal guitarist for everything he owns. He should have kept his mouth shut.

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  7. "BLABBERMOUTH.NET could not independently confirm the veracity of any of Fasciana's claims at press time. Furthermore, BLABBERMOUTH.NET could not find any news reports that corroborate the guitarist's account."

    Has anyone come across any mainstream media coverage yet? Seems like a fucked up thing to lie about, but it would also have been widely reported. He probably would have also been taken into custody until the police sorted everything out.

    If an Officer shoots someone they're put on administrative leave and given psych counseling. I highly doubt they would just let the long haired dirtbag drive off with his chocolate milk.

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  8. Yeah, unfortunately in spite of a complete lack of evidence (other than the quoted story directly from Phil on BM) most of the BM comments seem to be unquestioning kudos. James Murphy even chimed in on the BM boards in Phil's defense, but the only thing he had to offer was that he'd gotten the story from Phil and - since he's known the guy for 20 years - it must be legit. I'm disappointed in Blabbermouth for running the story in the first place without any proof but I'm even more peeved at sites like Inquisition blindly reprinting the story just because it sounds "bad ass" and all the repressed testosterone freaks absolutely need to believe something like this happens on a daily basis.

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  9. "Kill a poser & get a free yoyo" Vs. "Kill a crackhead & get a lifetime supply of free chocolate milk"

    Man, I'm torn about this...

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  10. i really really hope this is true.

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  11. What isn't said is that the crackhead used to play drums in Brutal Mastication.

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  12. Did Demogorgo just call racism while assuming the crackhead was non-white? Nice work fella.

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  13. Yea this whole story could be B.S. I guess these old Florida Death Metal bands need publicity somehow cause there not as relevant anymore. Kinda like when Glen Benton claimed he saw Bigfoot. But hey Phils a cool dude and Malevolent Creation kicks ass!

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  14. "Hey everybody, I killed a crackhead, be sure to check us out on tour!" Sounds like a publicity grab to me.

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  15. Before I die I have to buy a gun and kill some rom

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  16. Give the dude some credit, what would have you done in that situation? Courage.

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  17. This would have been in the news, even if crackhead shootings are an everyday occurrence in South Florida. No news articles = this is BS.

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  18. "Malevolent Guitarist Creates A Story"

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  19. Phil must be getting his crack from the same dealer as the "crackhead" he shot! CAUSE HIS STORY IS BULLSHIT"! So fucking hilarious!
    Read on! But I love how the only thing in their database involving him is a domestic dispute from April! HA HA HA!

    http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=123301

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  20. Phil must be getting his crack from the same dealer as the "crackhead" he shot! CAUSE HIS STORY IS BULLSHIT"! So fucking hilarious!
    Read on! But I love how the only thing in their database involving him is a domestic dispute from April! HA HA HA!

    http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=123301

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  21. Man, what a buzzkill. Lying about this, talk about douchebaggery.
    Well, no such thing as bad publicity, right?

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  22. Jules: This was Divine Intervention! You know what "divine intervention" is?
    Vincent: Yeah, I think so. That means God came down from Heaven and stopped the bullets.
    Jules: Yeah, man, that's what it means. That's exactly what it means! God came down from Heaven and stopped the bullets.
    Vincent: I think we should be going now.

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  23. Next time this dude feels the need to create a really ridiculous and easily de-bunkable lie, may I suggest the following:

    "I'm in one of the greatest and most influential death metal bands of all time."

    Sure, it's outrageous, but if you didn't know who he was it'd be almost believable under the right circumstances.

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  24. The real casualties: Blabbermouth and Fasciana's credibility, both of which were on life support with The AIDS.

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  25. http://spinelanguage.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/malevolent-imagination/

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  26. I'm just puzzled as to why he would make up such a fantastic story that is easy to verify one way or the other, as Blabbermouth belatedly discovered. A tip for Phil: if you're going to lie, try not to lie about things that can be verified with police reports.

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  27. As someone who works in TV in the state of Florida with friends in news broadcast working in the city in question (Ft. Lauderdale), I can verify that there have been no confirmations of this story to my knowledge. Apparently the police have no record of this event either..so, unless the store owner just dragged the body out back and put it in the dumpster, I'm guessing that this is bullshit. Which begs the question: how could you make this up and not think you'd get called on it?

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  28. ...because you are not very smart in the first place?!

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  29. was it a "goddamned handcannon?"

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  30. ive known the dude a long time and i think its bs. However he did get a lot of publicity for the band. so what if people show up and bitch at him, if it sells tickets or merch. thats all he cares about. furthermore i live not far from him and i cant find shit about it on the news anywhere.

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  31. "Hey, your the asshole who claimed to kill 2 homeless people in the last 6 years with no corroborating evidence! I just bought a ticket to the show to tell you that. How much for a t-shirt, you racist asshole, I'd like to purchase one?"

    Bzzt.. I don't think he thought his cunning plan through enough.

    He'd have better luck buying 50 boxes of Massengill, taping a picture of himself on each one and selling them as "Phil Fasciana Brand Douche Bags" at a $2 per unit markup.

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  32. I have a great slogan for that Fasciana douche bag

    "Pussies Come Clean"

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  33. Chocolate milk?

    Wrong answer.

    "I was going in for a case of beer when I shot the crackhead."

    You need to be more brand specific when awarded with a lifetime of beverages for a righteous kill.

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  34. The cop, I think, pointed it out. A crackhead would not hang onto a gun, s/he would trade it for crack, immediately. Especially an EXTRA gun. What a retarded.

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  35. especially a HOMELESS one. Guns aren't cheap, how would a homeless person addicted to crack be able to afford not just one, but two handguns? Doesn't he realize how much crack that would buy him?

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  36. crackheads are expoloding they are doing 10 times worse than hitler they think we should burn jews and blacks they are fucking crazy i took your addvice dumb bitch

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  37. You are weldone here for sharing such post .

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