Much in the way that the original Saved By The Bell brought us Saved By The Bell, The College Years, Metal Inquisition is now producing yet another spinoff. Not content with having to limit my cycling content to mere pictures of bloodied men wearing lycra, I have decided to start my own forum for such non-metal content. Look, I fully understand that most (if not all) of you have no interest in men with shaved legs wearing colorful jerseys that are skin tight...and really, who can blame you?
Although I don't believe that my predilection for this unusual sport has tainted my work here at MI, I do believe I stand a better chance of getting free crap by starting another blog purely devoted to cycling. Okay, I'm kinda' joking about getting free stuff. Anyway, this new blog's name is (drumroll please) Cycling Inquisition. I know, I know...it's an insanely lame name for a blog. I couldn't think of anything else, and thought I could greatly benefit from the brand equity that we have created here at MI. Much like Billy Milano decided to name his band MOD after having been in SOD...I have decided to rip off the blog's name. I'm the Billy Milano of the blog world...ehhhh...lame. Please don't point out how the name doesn't make any sense, because I know it doesn't. I just couldn't think of anything else. Although I guess it kinda' makes sense...if you assume that I want to convert the entire world into cyclists or cycling fans...which is not true at all...since I couldn't possibly care less. Still, if any of you have a better name, tell me and I'll gladly change it.
So, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, I shall be reborn and hope to bring the very few who may follow me some amusing content. Needless to say, I'm not leaving MI at all. Metal is in my blood, and I can never turn my back from it. As such, I will do double duties and attempt to bring the world even more of my hilarious insight...the type of insight and commentary that keeps you all coming back. Cheers.
Faggot.
ReplyDeleteExcellent idea! I think the quality of my posts for MI has improved since start Stuff You Will Hate, because I can get all that off-topic stuff out of my system over there.
ReplyDeleteRecycled Metal
ReplyDeleteOh look.......You're jumping the shark.
ReplyDeleteI can see the logic of stuff you will hate: The need to stay literate with scene culture, so that you can keep on plying your trade of statutory rape.
But cycling, really.
you might as well have Nancy Kerrigan Inquisiton
This is exactly the kind of warm response I expected. I shall now bask in my own glory.
ReplyDeleteI'm a little confused by the "Recycled Metal" comment...but pretty much expected that at least one person would call me a fag.
As far as Nancy Kerrigan...that blog would actually be called Figure Skating Inquisition...and it will be launched early next spring. Stay tuned for details!
It's so un-metal to like new things
ReplyDeleteI will gladly write for Country Inquisition when you get around to starting that one up.
ReplyDeleteI've read that cycling in Europe is like boxing in the U.S. and Latin America, a dangerous blue collar sport populated by working class athletes.
ReplyDeleteI'll be checking it out. I'd better see Lucho's shaved legs pumping around the velodrome. The author in action if you will.
ReplyDeletecycling is like nascar for gays
ReplyDeleteso you must be a gay then
or maybe youve gayed a few times while looking at cycling
Death To False Cycling! Blood doping rules!
ReplyDeleteI am only marginally invested in either the Metal or Cycling subculture, yet I follow both MI and BikeSnob religiously; so there is certainly something to be said for good writing.
ReplyDeleteWhat never ceases to amaze me is how people feel the need to hate on stuff that doesn't affect them at all: You don't care about cycling? THEN SIMPLY DON'T CLICK THE LINK!
(otherwise it's free entertainment)
luciferyellow:
ReplyDeletethank you, and thank you for referring to our writing as "good writing"
Lucho - you're welcome. But keep in mind that I am one of those old, bitter readers who think that music stopped in the early 90s, and most of my reading consists of technical articles during the day and children's books at night; so my standards for entertainment may not be as high as those of the key demographic of MI, who may have more discriminating and refined tastes.
ReplyDeleteMan, I fucking loved Saved By The Bell! I even liked The College Years! Kelly Kapowski, what a babe!! I'd like to do some homework with her, if you know what I mean, ay ay? Mind you, I guess that Stud Muffin Slater would kick my ass if I ever went anywhere near his bezzy's gal. Do you remember Zack Attack? What a band, totally fucking metal, They kicked ass just like Obituary circa '91. Who is everyone else's favourite character, mine was always Screech, but I was watching for Kelly. Mm mmm, what a humdinger! Thanks for reminding me about Saved By The Bell!!
ReplyDeleteNow, what was the rest of this piece about?
I guess that Stud Muffin Slater would kick my ass if I ever went anywhere near his bezzy's gal
ReplyDeleteMario Lopez is a legit boxer and was a solid wrestler in high school- in other words, probably a pretty good fighter. A dude on MMA.TV had an amateur boxing match with him a while ago and got fucking obliterated by Slater. At least he got a good forum thread out of the deal!
100% serious about this:
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I have an autographed picture of AC Slater / Mario Lopez in our laundry room. My brother met him, and got him to sign a picture, and make it out to my wife. It's an inspirational image too look upon as I throw my shirts in the washing machine.
I think you should have called your blog "South of Bib-shorts" or "Reign in Bib-shorts".
ReplyDeleteHave any of you clowns seen "28 Day Slater"? Be prepared. Heres a link to the 1st episode preppy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr6Y6kOo5rY
"or maybe youve gayed a few times while looking at cycling"
ReplyDeleteI need to know what this is so I can be sure not to get any of it on me.
As for blog names I think Manowar has probably given you all the names you will ever need about riding on two wheels:
into glory ride
hell on wheels
wheels of fire
master of the wind
on and on and on.......
skulls + metal + spandex + crabon fibré...smells like a rock racing collabo
ReplyDeleteinclusion of bloody gore while decked out in vintage
80s cycling gear for halloween = only reason not to get your ass kicked on the grounds of uber doucheness. w/ dayglo headcover ftw
sincerely tho, good luck getting "free" stuff for your efforts
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletedamn, the manowar names are a good idea...i didn't think of it! what an idiot.
ReplyDeleteas far as free stuff...i'm really just joking. i mean, i doubt i'll have the kind of success that will bring such things my way. i nothing else, i will simply cease to bug readers of this blog with cycling content...if only for that reason, I think the new project is already a success.
My wife and I have an autographed picture of AC Slater / Mario Lopez in our laundry room.
ReplyDeleteHOLY. FUCKING. SHIT!
I think I just did a wee in my pants in excitement.
Does he still have a mullet?
Sadly, the picture was taken around the time that he began to crop his mullet. sad, sad...I know.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a cool gig. I don't follow cycling a whole hell of a lot but I dig this blog and I can always leave smartass comments so it's all good with me.
ReplyDelete"Pedal Inquisition"
ReplyDeleteIt has the same letters as and even sounds like "Metal Inquisition", and therefore, would receive the Billy Milano seal of approval.
I expect my "Kill a Poser; Win a Yo-Yo" yo-yo to be in the mail by tomorrow.
zachary, it's in the mail. we promise.
ReplyDeleteIt really should have been called "Biking Metal Punks"
ReplyDeleteSpokes of Glory
ReplyDeleteLike, duh.
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ReplyDelete