Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Can you think of a better band than BODY COUNT?? No.

Lucho Metales studied this photo carefully for fashion tips back in the early 90s

This article is about the band. For the number of people killed in an event, see
body count. For the game, see Operation: Body Count. For the film, see Below Utopia.

BC BC BC BODY COUNT MOTHERFUCKER!!


Of all the thousands of albums I've owned over the years, the zillions of hours I've spent going to shows, it is with the utmost confidence that I say the ones that involved Body Count were the best. I own all their records and I am happy to say I've seen them three times. I could literally write a twelve-volume series about how much I love Body Count, but in the interest of brevity I will simply leave you with some of my favorite Body Count moments.

1. "Strippers"
My Body Count experience are like my children: it's hard to single out just one as my favorite. But if I had to choose one child, even if it meant condemning the rest to death, it would be the incredible lyrics to "Strippers," off of "Born Dead":
A porno star, you're in 3-D,
you're right in front of me,
under the strobe lights,
moving that ass right, lap dance,
I'm 'bout to bust in my pants.
Goddamn baby, take my money,
take my life, I'll diss friends,
I'll leave my wife.
Every night I'm in the front row waitin.
Contemplating, masturbating.
Tell me what to do and it's done,
You whisper in my ear tell me
I'm the one,
last night I think I gave you 15 hun,
but as for a date, I can't get one.
Strippers
I want my dick sucked.
Strippers
I wanna bust a nut.
(MONOLOGUE)
CHORUS
You're worse than a whore,
you won't fuck.
I wanna fuck you so damn bad
I'll give you anything you want
you can have my pad.
Girl I'll kill for you,
take my jewels, my cash.
Just put that pussy on my dick
and baby move that ass.
Your tits are so fat, I wanna
suck 'em dry
Push your clit near my face, I just
might try
Stick that ass out, stick it out baby,
you simulate your suckin my dick
drives me crazy.
I wanna ram it in your ass right now,
tonight baby I think I gave ya damn
near two thou,
you push your puss on my dick
you make my balls turn blue -
Don't make me rape you.
Strippers
CHORUS
Now I am a huge fan of pornogrind, and I can listen to Gut, AC, Meatshits, and Cemetery Rapist without batting an eyelash, but this is a whole new level of misogyny that is shocking and more than a little bit disturbing even to someone like me that thinks "Women, Nature's Punching Bag" is hilarious. But there is something about the menacing tone of Ice-T's voice when he says "I wanna ram it in ya ass right now" that makes me say, "Ice, I can't stay mad at you!!"

2. Warped Tour 1997
The second time I saw Body Count was at Warped Tour in 1997 or something, the same one that Eminem, the Vandals and Blink-182 played. I think Skarhead also played this show. Anyhow, Ice-T played several Body Count songs in his set, and everybody booed. It was a tough crowd: a bunch of teenage punk rockers that definitely weren't trying to watch Ice, Mooseman, Beatmaster V, Ernie C and D Rock get down.

But Ice kept his cool. He said, "All y'all motherfuckers booin, you probably think Ice-T shouldn't be up on this stage. You think I don't know shit about punk rock, about heavy metal, but you know what? I did joints with motherfuckin' Slayer. I did a joint with The Exploited. So fuck you!"

And I had to hand it to the crowd, because they acknowledged that Ice had made a very convincing argument. I mean The Exploited are arguably the worst band ever to play a note of music, and Slayer has always been average at best, but he certainly established his credibility. I could see everyone kind of shrug and turn to their friends as if to say "You know, he's got a point!" And from then on, those punk-ass kids gave Ice the respect he deserved.



3. Their covers

Their first album had a legitimately sweet cover. This image was great because, along with the lyrics and music, it represented everything that scared the shit out of white people in 1991. Contrast with the famous and extremely un-intimidating image of Tupac that you can buy posters of at flea markets everywhere in which he looks like he's maybe pushing 135 soaking wet.

Now this one, I'm not sure what happened. I know that Ice was just trying to convey the unique patois of urban residents, but "Mothaf'ck'n' Dead!" feels about as authentic as "Honkey Grandma Be Trippin'."

See how the one crib looks like a coffin, and it has cobwebs on it? That's because one of the infants in this otherwise unremarkable (although poorly organized) nursery was BORN DEAD!!

24 comments:

  1. oh snap. fantastic post. i only have three body count related items to pass on.

    1. the one dude in the middle with the blue lumberjack...he was basically my fashion icon. i had like thirty of those. ugh.

    2. my brother and i saw body count at the milwaukee metal fest in like 93 or 94. they went on before DRI, and the entire lighting rig began to fall onto the audience. this was in the upstairs of the Eagle's Ballroom. The lighting rig thing that held up all the lights just collapsed towards the audience and ICE T and other dudes in the band totally held it up and pushed it back towards the stage. that thing must have weighed a ton. man, if that had been me, looking at the audience filled with stupid ass kids with Immolation shirts, I would have let the thing go. Right before their set, I walked by ICE T, i thought it was rad that i saw him in person.

    3. Someone once told me that Beatmaster V made an instructional drum audio cassette. I've been trying to find that damn thing for ages, all to no avail. Beatmaster died of leukemia. Mooseman and D-Roc also died. RIP.

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  2. yes!! body count rules. A+ post.

    huge LOL @ the "sickle cell anemia" tag. i'm pretty sure i'm offended.

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  4. i'm glad someone noticed the sickle cell anemia bit! it's those sort of details that often get ignored.

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  5. body count even came to croatia once, supported by a few local acts including the awful flare. during the show, ice T held a little "stagedive contest", and although there were some sweet dives, the "award" went to the chick from flare, who simply leaned and slouched across the crowd, and thus got to hang out with ice T backstage.

    oh, what men won't do to ram it in someone's ass.

    p.s. after his numerous roles as cop/agent, does he still try to perform "cop killer" at shows?

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  6. I swear I saw Ice T at a Chaos UK show in 1993

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  7. by the way, ICE-T's greatest moment in film came way before his fame on TV. check him out in the movie Rappin', an amazing hip hop musical staring Mario Van Peebles as "Rappin Hood", he steals from the rich and gives the the poor. no joke. ice t makes a cameo, he performs at this hip hop club. the best moment is when him and all the dudes on stage bust out machine guns as part of their stage show. oh my.

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  8. 3 words:

    Surviving the Game.

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  9. The only time I ever feared for my life in a pit was at a Body Count gig in Atlanta. Ministry, Sepultura and Helmet were on tour in early '93, something happened that caused Helmet to cancel. Body Count just happened to be in town, so Al J called up Ice-T, and the murderous frenzy began... 2000 white kids went absolutely Bat-Shit Crazy for half an hour.

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  10. body count = best band ever

    strippers = best song ever

    they had the sickest bouncers in that live video. that one white dude with the huge barrel chest looked like he could have been conan. and that enormous black dude that swats people off the stage.

    r.i.p
    beatmaster v
    mooseman

    FUCK THA POLICE!!

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  11. Fuck, I didn't know about Born Dead. Someone needs to upload that shit for me.

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  12. Is Ice-T is related to ET?

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  13. dude Born Dead is the best record!! it's the most over the top retarded shit ever, makes E-Town seem like reading the dictionary. just look for it on blogsearch.google.com, i'm sure it's on there!

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  14. body count is still pretty heavy on my ipod rotation, that's for sure.

    as funny as this post is, "Is Ice-T is related to ET?" is WAY funnier than the post itself!

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  15. an old roommate of mine threw out his neck head banging to the s/t and had to wear a brace for several days.

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  16. i have a framed poster on my wall from the 1995 ice t/body count australian tour that my parents wouldn't let me go to. i still curse them to this day because of that.

    seriously the sickest band ever. i remember seeing a video from that warped tour and ice rattles off about 15 old punk, hardcore and metal bands that he is "down wit" and you could actually see dorky white kids stop heckling and shit themselves.

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  17. man... best band. Oddly enough, the s/t is my favorite music to cook (bacon) to.

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  18. "an old roommate of mine threw out his neck head banging to the s/t and had to wear a brace for several days."



    this is seriously the funniest thing i have ever seen posted on this website. every time i re-read it i laugh so hard i can't breathe.

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  19. "you wanna get high as the sky, you think its a game" i cant belive THE WINNER LOSES was not mentioned!

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  20. Yeah the BC is deff worth the (X) many dollars to see....you also get to check out the topless coco...but the offshot or so they claim Blaxmyth is complete garbage...EWW

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  21. It was an exciting date with her overnight. She was wearing the red dress for what I demanded earlier. I was so amazed after met her. She was looking very beautiful and so sexy. I found her atdanna.in and decided to meet her. Love you Danna Singh for all the love and immense satisfaction you gave me overnight. Thank you danna.in for fixed my night with her in minutes.

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  22. I have just installed iStripper, so I can have the best virtual strippers on my desktop.

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