One of my favorite films of all time is the 1985 classic "Commando," starring Arnold Schwartzeneggar. Before we go any further, please watch this legendary scene so you will be prepared for the rest of our discussion.
Now you can see why I love this film so much. You will also understand why I was so excited to discover the Finnish band Goretorture, the world's first of what will almost certainly be a host of Arnold Schwartzeneggar-themed grindcore bands!
The formula is familiar, but the execution is flawless. Like Mortician or the Meatshits, every song starts out with a lengthy sample intro, then they start blasting. Only unlike awful bands like Mortician, who force you to listen to over a minute of some girl screaming from a crappy 1970s horror movie, Goretorture treats you to quotes from the entirety of Arnold's career as an actor and politician. Listening to is like combining the delicious tastes of chocolate and peanut butter: you get the best moments from films like T2, Kindergarten Cop, Predator, and of course Commando plus the sweet sounds of generic drum machine grindcore to lull you off to the land of nod. What could be better??
What I really like about Goretorture is that they don't half ass it. Whereas other bands would wimp out by using only tiny snippets of Arnold, Goretorture gives you the whole enchilada. For example, one of their songs begins with a clip of Schwartzeneggar's California Governorship acceptance speech that goes on for a good 5 minutes. I love it! One of my favorite comedic devices is when things drag on and on and on and on and on until the audience is begging for death (see Neil Hamburger), and it is obvious that Goretorture are big fans too.
Visit Goretorture on MySpace, and more information and songs are available here. Don't miss out!! Before you check it out, though, watch this other scene from the classic film Commando: