Friday, April 17, 2009

Sacred Reich

What a swell looking bunch of guys. In 1991 I thought Sacred Reich were superstars, who probably toured in fancy double-decker bus. In reality, they looked like child-molesters traveling around the country in this horrible wood-paneled monstrosity. Nice trench coat, oh...and nice Hustler magazine in the back as well (under the speaker.)


This post is kind of long. I understand if you don't want to read it, or if you hate the stuff I post....but do me a favor. If you are not going to read it, at least watch the video at the end of the post. For real. You'll thank me. Okay, now let's get started:

Sacred Reich used to be one of my favorite bands back in the day. I was always drawn to pseudo-political bands within the realm of metal. As I've said many times before, I grew up in South America, I grew up during a time when extreme violence was a daily occurrence. As a result, songs about devils and satan never seemed all that scary to me. Everyday reality, and the things that actual humans (not demons with tails and horns) were doing around me were far scarier and very real. Perhaps for that reason, bands that talked about actual situations seemed cooler to me. In retrospect, the views that such "political" bands put forth were half-baked, idiotic and in keeping with their age and level of education...but back then they seemed so damn profound to me.



Check Phil out, 548 pounds ago. I always loved the cholo graffiti writing they used in their records. It gave them a certain edge over bands like Toxic. They also had that cool mascot. You can read more about the macot here. Man, if guys that looked like this had gone to my high school, I would have had huge man-crushes on them (in a very hetero way, dont get me wrong). Check out how Phil and Wiley (what a name) are posing the exact same way...even the angle of their feet is the same.


As good as they were, they fell victim to the classic thrash metal trap. They wrote the required "goofy song". In their case, the song was called "31 Flavors", and was meant to teach us about how we should listen to all kinds of music..but mostly Red Hot Chilli Peppers. The lyrics alone are enough to make you dry-heave for a few hours. Note the awful sexual double entendre. Even Dave Mustaine had to cringe upon hearing it, and he's the guy responsible for the most cringe-inducing lyrics ever. Remember his sexual opus Mechanix?


Vanilla is smooth
chocolate is kickin'
strawberry is sweet
all deserve a hearty lickin'
have em all
three scoops piled high
variety is the spice of life
Well you can have soft serve
and hard sugar cones
root beer floats
or my banana split
do you like nuts
or some sticky whip creme
come lick it off
and be my dairy queen
I love the Chilis
freaky, uplift, mother's milk


If you haven't listened to the song before, here it is. Again, get ready for major douche-chills.





So what happened to these musical and political geniuses over the years? Has time been kind to Sacred Reich? Hell no. Phil looks like a cross between a fat little league coach and Fred Flintstone. What can you do...time does that to you. Dark Angel was right. Time Does Not Heal. Apparently, it just makes you fat. They have a MySpace page, but I think it's way more fun to look at their official site, which is hosted by the one and only Angel Fire. Check it out. It was put together by Wiley himself.


Note the heavy crease on his neck as a result of being fat and having gravy running through his veins.


So over time, they may have deteriorated. What can you do. I pretty much stopped caring about Sacred Reich after "Independent", which is when they embarked on some lame pro-pot tour sponsored by NORML. I was bummed about them doing that tour back then, I'm not sure why. What can I tell you....to say I've had an overactive super-ego from a young age would be an understatement.


This picture hung on my wall for many years. Check out Barney's sweet Zubas.


Around the time that Sacred Reich went out on the "legalize it" tour, I bought my brother a sweet Sacred Reich shirt for his birthday. I believe I've written about this before, but I'll mention it again. He wore it to school on the day of his birthday, and got into bad car accident on his way back home from school. He got blood all over the shirt. I was bummed about the crash, but also about the shirt. The back of the shirt had a Socrates quote, "The unexamined life is not worth living." I'm incredibly ashamed to admit this, but I'll tell you anyway. I have actually quoted Socrates to really smart people before, and I only know the quote because of that shirt. So even though I could make fun of Sacred Reich for ages, and mock them (and I often do), I have to thank them because they made me feel cool in a group of smart people. Perhaps they weren't impressed, but I was certaily pleased with my use of the quote. Thank you Phil Rind!


Say what you will about Sacred Reich, but how many bands will help you quote Socrates at a dinner party?


Oh by the way, do you remember how Lemmy had a Sacred Reich patch on his denim jacket back in the early 90s? It was a Sacred Reich patch, but he only had the part that said "Reich"? He always talked about how he was a collector of WWII Nazi stuff, but always cleared up that he was not racist or a nazi. I get it, and I understand how this is possible...but walking around with a "Reich" patch on your jacket and a Nazi officers cap is kind of a douchy thing to do, to put it mildly. No? Come to think of it, Sacred Reich is kind of a messed up name for a band. I mean, it could easily be the name of a white power band, you know? Perhaps that's what first attracted Lemmy to the patch. I know many of you think Lemmy is rad, and everything he does is amazing, and perfect....and you probably think the Cocoa Puffs on his face are sexy...but come on. Damn it.




Okay, let's get back to Sacred Reich. I will now leave you with the best bit of Sacred Reich material available on the interweb. This is an excerpt of the Sacred Reich DVD, and its a winner for sure. This clip is filled with amazing treasures, because it's a perfect time capsule of the era. I won't even try to comment on it, or point out things about it. Just please watch the whole thing and enjoy it. Please. If you are too young to know what metal shows were like in 1991, this should give you a pretty good idea.



27 comments:

  1. A couple observations...

    Is it just me or did that blonde-haired kid at the beginning with the girl in the blue dress look an awful lot like he could have been Karl Sanders 18 years ago?

    Second, the part at the end is strangely reminiscent of the photo that one of you guys posted via Twitter earlier today. I guess some things never change.

    -DeathMetalDave

    ReplyDelete
  2. I thought metal concerts were bad now, but the amount of retards back then is frightening.

    Thank you, Mr. Lucho, for scaring me straight.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The sound on the video is like someone ripped a hole in the space time continuum and is heckling the piss out of people. Ah the the girl in the blue dress and her stoned beau look like a couple of glue sniffers on honeymoon. I bet after the show they got into that orange combi and went on a teenage crime spree.

    Poor young Bob laying injured against that nasty stair carpet in his grey and pink boxers, I hope there weren’t any open wounds or I fear young Bob’s life may have been cut tragically short. So when the wood panelled wank wagon rolls into town the party really gets started. What beer did people drink then to come over like such light weights?

    ReplyDelete
  4. David,

    The similarity between the picture on Twitter and the video is amazing! I know! It happened by mere chance, which is the weird part.

    The sound on the video sucks, I agree. You'd think Sacred Reich would have had the best equipment available...no such luck.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The best part is right at the start when some girl off camera thrusts her tape into frame and really quickly says "sacredreich!".

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sacred Reich, Nuclear Assault, Atrophy, and Megadeth in my opinion had really cool lyrics...and some goofy song, too. But they're still better than groove/nu-metal macho crap.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I own the 2CD and DVD reissue. I still like Ignorance and Surf Nicaragua. That fan footage is fuckin' hilarious. I love seeing old footage of retarded metal fans. Who's to say but if you interviewed me back in the day I'd probably look like a retard too. I'd like to think I was better than that but, I was young and hated everything but Metal back then. LOL Now I'm old and love all kinds of music.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Had I been interviewed back then, I would have looked ridiculous, and sounded idiotic. My favorite outfit back then was black sweatpants, black high top reeboks, and an Anthrax shirt. I topped off this tasty combo with Brut Cologne and a gold chain. Ouuuuuuch.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Why are they so determined to make out that their own fanbase are depressed all the time by constantly asking them why look pissed, etc.? This came across as especially dumb when they were talking to three guys with the guy who had a horse's knee for an ankle, since they were legit the happiest guys I've ever seen in my life!

    Best bit is the guy who punches the parking meter. I love how he does the "winding up the middle finger" bit at the end, yet his finger is fully extended at all times thus rendering the "winding" motion pointless.

    --LEV

    ReplyDelete
  10. Lucho,
    My dress sense wasn't any better. I wore tight lee jeans,any metal shirt with an open flannel over it and the marble notebook vision streetwear sneakers. The ones Barney is wearing in the Harmony Corruption band photo on the back of that CD.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Tight jeans were an absolute must back in the day...most of old school thrashers actually can't have kids because of this.
    Prolonged testicular compression!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I definitely remember reading the lyrics to One Nation and getting all choked up with deep confused emotion as I thought about how the future really is our burden.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The DVD with the Ignorance/Surf set is tremendous, if only for the "Phil Rind from Sacred Reich Will Draw a Mustache on You" part.

    ReplyDelete
  14. That "Just Say Sacred" video made me feel like going to a thrash show right now...those were the days!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I rocked some sweet Vision Streetwear high tops, the kind with the velcro thing that covered your shoelaces. When I became friends with kids who really did skate, they all made fun of me for the shoes, which were like antiques to them. They were all wearing low top Airwalks, Duffs and all those other companies that were starting then. I felt like a world class douche once I realized I was wearing skate shoes, but didn't skate. It was like waring rollerskates, but just walking in them or something. at least that's how they made me feel. ha ha.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Similar memories of Sacred Reich here, such as a teacher making a remark about "extreme right slogans" when seeing the Sacred Reich shirt of a class mate. I too was drawn to Sacred Reich by their socially aware lyrics and the fact they were touring with hardcore bands. They seemed smarter than most thrash bands. To be honest I think some of their lyrics still hold up well.

    I had that Surf Nicaragua shirt but threw it away after a couple of years. It was a medium, which was still unfashionably small at the time.

    Lucho, do I detect a bit of former fan resignation in your post? There's less direct mockery than in other posts...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Man I could watch a full length film of that footage. I laughed, I cried, I was on the edge of my seat waiting for what comes next.
    I still fly the Sacred Reich banner from time to time. There are certainly some much crappier bands you could break out a tape and listen to.

    ReplyDelete
  18. "former fan resignation", ha ha...good way to put it. perhaps it's because bands like Sacred Reich were never as douchy (or is that "douchie"?) as death metal or black metal bands. I mean, they were just dudes in sneakers singing lyrics that could have worked for hardcore bands...as a result, i guess i don't see them as being as silly in retrospect. when you compare phil with Glen Benton...i mean....oooofah! The difference is palpable.

    I think that video of the fans is the feel-good movie of the year. i too cried, i laughed...there are so many twists and turns. amazing stuff. i'm waiting for the Criterion Edition...the commentary will be SICK!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Excellent post but the current picture of Phil.... what's he supposed to look like? He looks like the most average 40-something you could run across, and isn't that an extension of being a dude in sneakers and jeans playing thrash?

    At least he'll look back and acknowledge the times, all the "new" thrash re-hashers will look at their 2008 yearbook and wonder just what the fuck they were thinking

    ReplyDelete
  20. Lucho, that outfit description is amazing. Please tell me you topped it off with a Suicidal Tendencies hat with the brim flipped up. Please!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Conduit, you're right. Phil's looks is downright comfortable, and certainly in keeping with the attitude.

    James, for a while I borrowed this awful painters cap that had these tails in the back, must have been some BMX thing, maybe vans made them. I nearly bought the DRI painter cap like ten times...but we were so broke that i couldnt afford it. lame. the old guitar player from cannibal corpse, who played on the first record (balding dude) wore one all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  22. whenever people mention how "intelligent" dave mustaine apparently is, mechanix comes into my head to give me chuckles galore. "four horsemen" certainly wasn't mctallica's best, but they made the right choice in overhauling that hideous mess....

    ReplyDelete
  23. the drummer for sepultura gots a fanny pack on

    ReplyDelete
  24. What can I say? We've been called many things before but never pedaphiles. Sorry that the bus burst your bubble but remember we were on Metal Blade and it beat a van.
    Pointing out mine and Wileys feet was pretty funny.
    Regarding goofy songs, I don't quite follow the "required" comment. In retrospect it's hard to listen to now, the lyrics and my singing especially. At the time it seemed fun and made a point. I loved working with a horn section. That part was cool. To me it takes more balls to go out on a limb than to play it safe. We new a lot of people might hate it but we gave it a shot.
    So OK I need to mix in a salad, but last I checked I did have blood flowing through my vains.
    The "Just Say Sacred" video is funny. Eric made sure to edit out anyone who made an intelligent, coheret thought. I ran into the guy from "Southern" California (with his girlfriend in the blue dress)a while back at one of our shows in AZ. His name is Brad and he is the star of the video. I also like the security guy talking about the "Love Vibe". Classic! Essentially it was made for us to remember the tour and years later we thought the fans might like it too.
    I enjoy reading your stuff and have been on the site before. I won't take any of this too personally because you generally take the piss out of everyone. I appreciate the man crush revelation and I am glad that the Socrates quote has come in handy. Also I hope that your brother made a full recovery after his accident.
    Keep up the entertaining blogs...

    Peace,
    Phil Rind (really)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Take pandora bracelets the famous online shopping pandora bracelet website inetsilk.com for pandora jewelry example. Once we decided to pandora canada buy the silk scarf online, we may pandora charms check the goods quality, services pandora bangles attitude and website cheap pandora necklaces building.If you get the gist pandora beads of silk scarf matches, you pandora earrings can not only create your own pandora sets unique image as well as save your budget.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thanks for sharing so significative article with us. Wonder Know is a comprehensive website that provides all kinds of articles. Just come and have fun!

    ReplyDelete
  27. This is a spanking post . Great thanks for sharing .

    ReplyDelete