Blue Grape's Spring 2010 collection SNEAK PREVIEW!

Once known as a peddler of chintzy crap like Sepultura "jams" and Prong hockey jerseys, metal merch icon Blue Grape will be reborn as a cutting edge streetwear brand in spring of 2010. In fashion, what's old is new again when a brand takes something classic from the past and revitalizes with a contemporary twist. 80s references dominated the past few years, with more neon and skinny jeans than you can shake a stick at on store shelves everywhere, but the hottest new brands are exploring new territory.

Warriors of Radness' fall 2009 collection is rad. Send me some free stuff!

Trendsetting brands like Warriors of Radness are breaking new ground by moving past the 80s drawing from the early 90s, referencing brands like LA Gear, Gotcha and Chess King. They are doing great work, but Blue Grape is truly ahead of the curve: they are the first brand to bring mid/late 90s metal style to the world of streetwear. Look out 55DSL, here comes Blue motherfucking Grape!! We are thrilled to provide you with an exclusive glimpse at their upcoming Spring 2010 collection. We think you will be seeing a lot more coverage of this hot new brand in the near future, so if you see this shit reposted on Hypebeast or High Snobiety, remember that you read it HERE first!

Check out our previous coverage of Blue Grape, and thanks again to our informant only known as "Green Rage" for the inside info! Click any of the images for larger versions.

That's not the user manual for your new dishwasher, it's the cover of their new catalog! I love how they perfectly captured that 90s "desktop publishing" look! They probably even used PageMaker to ensure that it looked authentic.


The collection's flagship items are a full line of premium Soulfly SKUs. This shit is off the hook and will definitely be turning heads!!

You don't have to spend hundreds of dollars outbidding some sneakerhead on eBay to get an vintage-looking Soulfly jersey anymore. Blue Grape's reissues of the 1999 edition put them within reach of everybody.



Getting classic, authentic 90s licenses like Fear Factory was a real coup for the new Blue Grape- hats off to their acquisition team!!


Nothing says true 90s metal fashion like a Fear Factory gas station shirt! Put this guy on and you'll feel like an extra on the set of the video for Deftones "Bored" or Downset "Anger."

Their Slipknot gear is maybe not QUITE as impressive as the Soulfly stuff, but definitely has a few showcase items that make it stand on its own.

The Hundreds ain't got shit on Blue Grape's steez: You will be the hypest fucking kid on the block in this sick Slipknot jumpsuit!! People will be all, "Whoa, you must have paid a fucking fortune for that shit on eBay, it looks so authentic!!" And you'll be all, "Yeah, I did- but whatever, it was worth it, you know? I only like true vintage shit, and you gotta put down the cash if you want the real thing." *turn to the camera with a shit-eating grin and a knowing wink*

It's the details that really make or break a garment. I love how they made this Slipknot thong super fucking high-rise in true 90s style. It looks like your girl could pull this thing up to her armpits!


Blue Grape's Machine Head SKUs take you back to the good old days when Robb Flynn was "the guy from Vio-Lence," not the namesake of a tragic disease that causes the afflicted to grow colorful facial hair and wear Affliction gear.

They clearly paid attention to every detail when creating this this authentic 90's-style garment: it's cut so wide you could fit three people in it, the perfectly symmetrical flames look like a preset from some 90s Photoshop filter (probably Kai's Power Tools), and the band's name is in fucking Impact with an outer glow! Amazing craftsmanship guys, this is a masterpiece!


Remember the 1999 Earth Crisis/Sepultura tour? This shit will instantly transport you backstage where you can watch Igor and Andreas practice jiu jitsu on gymnastics mats before their set, Karl and Ian from ExC try to find a strip club, and Scott pens the riffs that would go on to become the band's defining moment, "Slither."

This Earth Crisis tee cleverly combines two classic 90s hardcore design elements: Parody logos and horizontally-stretched type. It's even outlined! Hats off to whoever designed this guy, you truly nailed the Cabal 315/Andrew Thomas Company aesthetic.

And look at the fucking collar!! I almost can feel its stiff, cheap fabric scratching the shit out of my neck right now.

Holy fucking fuck, I cannot wait to see this combo on shelves!! With a combo of artists like Poison the Well, Phish, Soulfly, and post-Danzig Misfits, I can't see how this brand will go anywhere but straight to the top.

Last but not fucking least, peep these Coal Chamber jams! I can't say TOO much just yet, but a little birdie told me that the COAL CHAMBER X ALIFE collabo miiiiiight be in the works. But shhhh... that shit is top secret ;)

I was hoping to see that they were going to release some limited edition Dope ringer tees through Dave's Quality Meat, but apparently negotiations fell through. This Coal Chamber windbreaker pretty much makes up for it, though!

Please note the new contact info for Beanies & Bucket Hats

What are your thoughts on the NEW BLUE GRAPE??
Are you as excited as we are to see Blue Grape reborn as a streetwear brand? Do you think the kids will be into it? Will they join the ranks of Vision Street Wear, Maui & Sons, and British Knights as forgotten brands of yesteryear who get a second lease on life, or will they just go back to making Methods of Mayhem keychains? Should they sign up Revok and Toomer do do some signature-edition Copshootcop ringer tees?

Moving Sale - Everything must go... into storage.

Ah!! It's good to be back! This is my first post since 9/24/08. As some of you may know my life has been a total pile of dog shit since. As we have said many times before, MI staffers are reluctant to reveal too much our personal lives, but I'm gonna make an exception and tell you that my wife fucking left me. The details aren't important, but what matters here is that we are selling our place and I have to move out. I'm selling a lot of my stuff, but not all. I have no idea what shithole in Bed-Stuy I'm gonna end up into, so I'm moving what I'm not selling into storage. As I'm packing, I'll share with you a few things I run into that may be of interest to our readers. Today: some awesome T-shirts.

Crappy art by Stevo

It's no secret I love Impetigo. You can read about my obsession on this post from last year. This sweet Impetigo T-shirt was given to me as a gift by Richard C. of Wild Rags himself, outside the Eagles Auditorium in Milwaukee, WI on July 30th, 1993. It serves as the only piece of hard evidence and proof that I was present during Impetigo's good bye show later that evening. I also wore this T-shirt proudly as we visited Jeffrey Dahmer's place the next day. I was wearing an Impetigo shirt as I stood in front of apartment 213.





This is one of my favorite T-shirts ever. It's pretty bizarre. I traded this shirt with this guy I knew named Brian. I can't remember what I gave him for it, but I know he got ripped off. This shirt is the cat's pajamas! I've only worn this tee a handful of times, since acquiring it in '92. It's spent most of the last 10 years in a plastic bag as demonstrated by its wrinkled appearance. The art is not by Stevo, as Impetigo shirts usually displayed, but it's just as shitty. It looks like it was hand done, not silk screened and the back glows in the dark. That's fucking right bitches, I have an Impetigo shirt that glows in the motherfucking dark. That's how I roll, son!




Kreator 1993 Coma of Souls tour T-shirt. I think the sleeves were removed a few years after that. Not much to say about this one, really. Just that, as you can see, this shirt has been washed a shitload of times and it's so wide it can only be worn by George Costanza.





I don't know WTF I was thinking. Why did I cut the sleeves off on all these T-shirts? I weighed 117lbs up until 1999. My arms were the size of toothpicks, yet I felt my tiny guns needed to be displayed?



This is my favorite T-shirt of this bunch. If I remember correctly, I got this classic tee at a comic book store in Miami. My friend Camilo was waiting just outside in his white Grand Am. I grabbed the thing off the rack and bailed. I wore it at least twice a week since the summer of 1991 until 1998 or so. I'm wearing it in half of our band photos during that time. Many of the scars on the tee are pretty fucking metal, too. A few of the rips came in the pit and all the small holes at the bottom are from the spikes on my belt. The big chunk missing from the bottom happened after a patch I had sown to cover another hole, ripped off during a show in Dee-troit.

Once again, the sleeves were removed at some point. This time, the sleeves ripped and I've had this safety pin holding the thing together for years. I actually still wear this thing once in a while. I usually wear a Harmony Corruption long sleeve under it.

There's a whole box of these things. Every one of them filled with memories and stories.

Alright, like I said, it's good to be back and I hope to get back in the groove and start posting regularly again. Thanks to all the fans that cared enough to realize I hadn't been around. You all need to get a life. Stay metal.

Metal Inquisition is one year old!

Who would have thought that a blog which started largely as an afterthought would grow to be the behemoth Metal Inquisition has become? With over 400 posts, and a staff of 86 (plus 22 sub-contractors and consultants working at our Innovation Center), Metal Inquisition has grown to be considered an absolute authority in subjects as wide ranging as: Blue Grape Merchandise, Wigger Slam, and heavy metal real estate. Thanks to all the readers for making this possible.

At the risk of being accused of trying to rehash old content (like those Who's The Boss episodes where they would just use clips by having Tony or Mona say: "remember when..."), I urge you to go back through our early posts. While some may not be up to the standard that we are now known for, I assure you that there are some real gems in there. Back then, many posts got one or two comments, if we were lucky. I guess that's how Bill Gates feels about the days back when he only made one or two million a year.

Early on, we brought you such gems as a fat guy nearly having an aneurysm, David Vincent talking about cake and lemon pie, some sweet vocal exercises, we told you about how Glen Benton has a webcam, we discussed David Vincent's muffin top, we compared thrash revival to civil war re-enactments, we showed you Joey DeMaio wearing a man-thong, Helloween's artwork was discussed at great length. There are lots more posts worth mentioning, but you should really go back and look around for yourself.

It's been a great year. Cheers to ya'll.

Tommy Victor Disease: A Pathology

Sometime back, Metal Inquisition introduced the world to the concept of Rob Flynn's Disease. As many of you know, this severe illness has struck many aging metalers, and Metal Inquisition simply had to inform the world in order to stop the madness. For those who may have missed our ongoing coverage of this disease, here's some background information:

R.F.D. (named after Robb Flynn, previously of the band Vio-Lence, now of Machine Head) usually strikes aging, out of step metal fossils. The disease usually hits hardest when the victim was originally (and only slightly) known for being in one band which is no longer around, and more than likely played a style that has fallen out of favor with today's audiences. Though most of those who suffer from this disease are musicians who are broke and desperate, some partial mutations of the disease have also struck somewhat successful musicians such as Kerry King and Scott Ian.

Symptoms

Individuals dealing with the disease will take on certain characteristics best suited for 15 year old ravers in Kansas, in a pathetic, last ditch effort to remain somewhat relevant and "with it". Often seen as a crucial part of any last ditch effort in the musical arena, R.F.D. is often seen by those who suffer from it as a new lease on life. Think of it as the metal equivalent of automotive oil that is especially formulated for high millage cars.

As purveyors of truth in the world of metal, we felt it would be irresponsible to not fill everyone in on a recent mutation of R.F.D. That mutation, as the title of this post clearly states is: Tommy Victor Disease. Just as the lunch lady in your high school managed to make today's burgers into tomorrow's sloppy joes, so too diseases mutate and change in order to survive one more day.


Like other eponymous diseases (diseases named after the first person to have or describe the condition) such as Lou Gehring's disease and Alzheimer disease, T.V.D. (Tommy Victor Disease) can take over quickly, and render an aging rocker even more useless than he was previously.

What's the difference between RFD and TVD?
When RFD first took hold, the fashion of choice for teenage douchebags was big pants, skateboarding brand tshirts, and skate shoes. Times have changed. As such, Tommy Victor (who must be roughly 59 now) has chosen to take on the fashion choices of today's teenage douchebags. I'm talking of course, about Affliction clothing, mixed in with a little Urban Outfitters for good measure.


For Tommy Victor, it all started after Prong. I remember seeing him when he played with Danzig, parading through the audience while wearing a clear plastic shirt and rubber pants, hitting on old ladies. It all went downhill from there.

Keep in mind that although TVD is not exclusive to the east coast, residents of the New Jersey/New York area (Long Island in particular) have an acute tendency towards the disease. In most cases, TVD begins when the aging metaler starts to look to teenage members of his audience for fashion ideas. This is usually compounded with the the individual starting to look at websites like njguido.com for fashion ideas.




The evidence

Man-tits and a tight shirt meant for a 19 year old. That's a good luck for any 59 year old. You can say that the guy on the right is dressed like an aging, fat idiot...but at least his attire is age appropriate.

In a horrible nightmare that I've had many times in the last two years I find myself face to face with these two...I have a gun but only one bullet. Which one do you take out? In my dream, I always kill myself instead.

Here we see Tommy and his stylist trying to plug in the Nocturnus time machine, in order to transport Tommy back to a time when the music he made was half-way relevant.

Here's a little shopping tip...once you are twice the age and twice the weight of the people who work at Urban Outfitters, it's time to stop buying hats there. Also, I'm sure that 38 year old waitress was stoked to meet you.

Great use of the Myspace style of photography. Who says 59 year olds can't stay current? Nice lip-ring by the way, I'm sure lots of 10th graders are impressed.

Myspace photography stance again. Look at that chain. You can take the guido out of Queens, but you can't take the Queens out of the guido.

Nothing says aging guido like a good Affliction-style t-shirt.

You know you have bad fashion sense when you put on a shinny green football jersey, and most people consider it an improvement over your normal attire. This picture finally settles the argument regarding which member of Prong really pushed Blue Grape merchandise to make the famed Prong hockey jersey.

Where are they now: Blue Grape Merchandise

Back in 1992, my brother and I would go down to the supermarket on a bi-monthly basis in order to pick up the latest issue of Metal Maniacs. After checking out the main articles and the poster, there was only one thing to look for....the Blue Grape Merchandise ad in the back. Over the years, we spent a small fortune on Blue Grape's horribly produced shirts and other assorted merchandise, helping the company make upwards of $20 million a year from idiots like us. I don't know why we wasted our money on their shirts...we are both short and rather slight, while Blue Grape's shirts were sized like tarps or circus tents.

Looking back, I can't remember if Blue Grape offered shirts in sizes other than XXL and up, but based on the shirts from back then that my brother and I still have...I think Blue Grape estimated that the average size of a metal fan was roughly 5'2" tall and 5'6" wide. Below is an accurate computer rendering of what I looked like wearing my Blue Grape Obituary shirt circa 1992.

Is that the Liberty Bell? No, just Lucho wearing his Obituary shirt.

Notice how my feet stuck out at the bottom, making me look like a scale model of the Liberty Bell. This attractive look basically made my feet look like the the part of a bell that swings like a pendulum as I walked, striking the actual bell/shirt. That part of a bell is called a "clapper", but I didn't know if anyone would know that. Anyway, I really don't know why we kept buying their wares. At one point, we actually placed such a large order that they sent us a gift certificate, with which we bought (I'm not kidding) a small, t-shirt shaped sign for my brother's new car. The sign was just like one of those "baby on board" signs, including the suction cup, but was of a tiny Sepultura shirt, which said "Tour 1989" on the back. I would love to go on and on making fun of them for producing such a stupid artifact, but we were dumb enough to buy it. My brother had it on the back window of his car for some time, until the heat began to melt and warp one of the sleeves...thus enlarging it, much like an actual Blue Grape t-shirt, or their coveted Prong hockey jerseys.

When I first decided to write a little something about Blue Grape, I thought I would find ample information about the once-leading purveyor of metal related attire. Not so. Like the Incas, who disappeared and only left behind Machu Picchu for us to admire, all that remains of Blue Grape are some ill-fitting circus tents in my closet and some faint memories. While I found several phone numbers online for the now forgotten company, all were disconnected. Their site is now down, a mere memory of a once great shirt empire. Similarly, their office (see photo below) which was located on Broadway in New York City, is now probably vacant. I picture tumbleweed rolling around the empty cubicles, as a single Prong hockey jersey still hanging proudly on the wall.

Blue Grapes former world headquarters were located over this Levi's store in Manhattan. Prime real estate for a company that sold Deicide keychains and shirts.

I found one posting of a job at Blue Grape from 2004. $50,000 a year for a Senior Production Director. I also found an interesting interview with Felix Sebacious, then VP at Blue Grape in which he discusses how Blue Grape started to make panties, and how he was able to get Glen Benton to sign the merchandise deal for Deicide. Sebacious recalls:

"When he finally agreed to a meeting time, it could only be at 7 a.m. on a Sunday in the backyard of his house. Before discussing his contract, he insisted that I help him give his lizard an injection of antibiotics. We went through this whole bonding experience that included holding the thing down and giving it the shot, but in the end, we were able to get the contract signed quite easily, and it turned out to be a rather lucrative merchandising deal."

As interesting as I found this interview, I was left wanting more. What had happened to this once great empire? I had way too many questions. Was it their horrendous sizing strategy that had finally put them out of business? Did the managers at the factories where Sepultura patches were made get carpal tunnel from endlessly beating the Filipino boys who made those artifacts? Was "Sebacious" a real last name? I had to keep investigating.


In the past, I have written about my memories of long-forgotten merchants in the world of metal such as Wild Rags Records. After writing that post, I ended up with more questions than answers, though our readers did manage to fill in some blanks via their comments. Like Blue Grape, Wild Rags largely fell off the map suddenly. In Wild Rags' case it was mostly as a result of having peaked before the internet boom. Not content simply letting the whole thing go, I thought I should contact a friend of mine who is in the very business that Blue Grape was in, merchandise and licensing. Even from such an industry insider, I was only able to gather a tiny bit of information. Blue Grape was bought out by Bravado just a few years back. They had started to license some non-metal brands, and after being bought out, all those other licenses were dumped. Sadly, this is all the information I was able to gather. Do any readers have any more information, or perhaps stories about their ill-sized Blue Grape merch?

Prong: Not as good as I remembered

I was a big Prong fan back in the day. I loved their massive riffs, tight drumming, and clever song titles. Problem is, I lost all their records years ago, but thanks to the wonders of Rapidshit, I downloaded all of them the other day in an hour or two. With baited breath, clammy palms, and legs all atremble, I cued them up one after the other. "Wow," I thought, "this band is kind of shitty. What a bummer." Here are my thoughts in more detail:

Primitive Origins & Force Fed
I never liked early Prong. While popular with the "I only like the demo" crowd, these two records are pretty boring crossover/thrash. Nothing to see here, move along.
1/5 bloody axes


Beg To Differ
This is where things get interesting in that it's where Prong broke away from the crossover formula and started to do their own thing. The problem is that their only thing wasn't very good. I remembered this record as being full of super awesome, brutal thrash riffs, pounding drums, and dynamic, syncopated rhythms... but playing it again, it's pretty much limp, dull songs that just go on and on and on. There are some interesting moments where they kind of do an industrial Voivod sort of thing ("Lost And Found"), and there are definitely some crucial riffs here and there (chorus of "Beg To Differ"). Overall, though, it's just not worth wading through the boring parts to get at the good stuff. "Reign In Blood" suffers from the same problem. As someone noted in the comments, it's "Angel of Death," a bunch of filler, then "Raining Blood." But those two songs are so fucking awesome it kind of makes the filler worth it, unlike "Beg To Differ." It does have a sweet cover, though.
2/5 bloody axes


Prove You Wrong
Problem #1: using a gay photograph for the cover instead of Pushead artwork. Never a good sign. There isn't a whole lot to say about this album other than that it's more of the same. Long, fairly dull songs with a few good parts here and there. I think I saw them around this time with Pantera and Trouble, they were pretty much at the height of their popularity as I recall. You could definitely buy a XL Prong hockey jersey from the Blue Grape ads in the back of Metal Maniacs and Thrasher for $65. I am not sure how many they actually sold, but one can only hope (for the sake of humanity) that the answer is zero.
2/5 bloody axes


Cleansing
This is where Prong started to be really, really awful. First of all, most of the songs on here are over 4:00 long. Maybe it's because I had been listening to bands like Capitalist Casualties and No Comment for a few years at this point, but four minutes seems like a goddamn eternity to me. One of the songs is 6:11! Excessively long songs are one of the surest signs that a band has fallen in love with itself and has completely jumped the shark, and this is no exception. The other, far more cringeworthy thing about Cleansing is that it has some "witty" song titles that are the definition of facepalm-inducing: "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" and "Whose Fist Is This Anyway?" The first one is just stupid, and you can imagine it as the soundtrack for countless UFC highlight reels until the end of time. It doesn't really make any sense, it's just generally stupid and aggressive like the a-holes with undercuts and Doc Martins that were everywhere at commercial metal shows in the 90s. The second is just as meaningless but orders of magnitude dumber because it is a reference to the incredibly annoying improv show "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" that my friend's gay brother used to watch all the time in 7th grade. I am aware that Tommy Victor isn't really Mensa material, but this song is one part douchey and 1 millions parts retarded in a way that I hadn't previously been able to conceive of (kind of like Crazytown only without being awesome). I can just imagine him sitting in his Lower East Side flophouse in 1992, watching Comedy Central and being like "Dude, 'Whose Fist Is This Anyway?'! That shit is fucking badass, dude- the guys are going to flip out when I drop this shit on them at practice tomorrow. I better bring a VHS of the show, though, just in case they don't have cable. Plus that fat guy with glasses had some clever lines in this episode that I think they'll really enjoy... Where does he come up with all this material?!" I can't go on anymore, this is making my blood boil.

0/5 bloody axes

Rude Awakening
OK, so they definitely got a little better on this record. There are several good choruses and hooks, although much of this album was crappy groove metal, as was the fashion at the time. That said, it does have their best song on it, "Proud Division," which is a legitimately sweet piece of pure power groove that would make Phil Anselmo himself weak in the knees. It even has the kind of vaguely racist lyrics that bands like Pantera and Carnivore pioneered (OK, Carnivore's lyrics were pretty much explicitly racist... but nobody knew if it was sincere or just to piss people off). Other than that, there are many, many unfortunate and awful moments on this record, especially when he either whispers or raps the lyrics. Look, I get it: you're from New York, you're down with "urban culture." You don't have to prove it by rapping over your tired thrash riffs. Seriously, I believe you. Please put down the guitar.
3/5 bloody axes (just for "Proud Division")


Rise of The Scorpio
So Prong broke up for a long time, Tommy Victor played guitar in Danzig and wore mesh half-shirts on stage. Then they got back together in 2003 and recorded a new album. You think I listened to this?? Are you crazy? Just look at the horrible cover, it looks like something out of a community college graphic design course. Apparently they have an even newer record, but I didn't want to waste electrons Googling for information about it.
-1 zillion / 5 bloody axes