Wednesday, May 7, 2008

The Great Heavy Metal Horror Show

I have posted in the past about heavy metal horror movies, a true love of mine, but I worry that no one is going out and renting these films. Tragic, simply tragic. I'd feel like I wasn't doing my job unless people witness the true beauty of these films. I’m talkin’ bout the hack metal songs from these movies. Not soundtrack songs like Dokken’s awesome “Dream Warriors” from Nightmare on Elm Street 3, but songs normally written by some dudes whose only claim to fame is this tiny, little credit.

5. Solid Gold “Blood Tracks” (from Blood Tracks)

This is more of a video shoot that a live performance. I can’t figure out if this is good, I just like the chorus. Ok? The chorus.

4. Holy Moses "Cassie” (from Hard Rock Zombies)

I don’t even know. So awesome. I am glad it is called "Hard Rock Zombies" and not "Brutal Guttural Underground Zombies", because then they can get away with such an emotionally touching song. The movie makes very little sense, but the band makes it all worthwhile.

3. Black Roses “Rock Invasion” (from Black Roses)

You knew Fabio couldn’t contain the evil for too long. From Whitesnake to all out thrash attack, this is what happens when the parents leave the show.

2. Spastic Colon "Virgin Girl" (from Shock 'Em Dead)

I find it hard to believe that the singer knows anything about virgin girls. I really do. Really. But the popish song with just an absurd guitar solo allows me to look past it. You can check out a past post featuring Martin’s wicked audition here. This only loses out because there is no blood and too much spandex.

1. Rocktober Blood "Killer on the Loose" (from Rocktober Blood)

A true classic. A long unnecessary guitar solo opening and on stage killings. Who wouldn’t love to see a decapitation and a disembowelment at a metal show! Also, imdb just told me the original music was written by “Smokey Huff”. That's the stuff.


  1. i love the badly dubbed over sound in the first video. i don't know why hollywood (if you can call this "hollywood") thought metal of this type was scary. did the whole world think this was scary then? i mean...maybe bands that were as heavy as maiden and up may have seemed that way (to housewives in kansas) but this is so far off. the second band in particular is awful. the singer is the guy from three dog night, and the music is...oh god. even journey would make fun of it. Black Roses really turns on your...from obviously gay and soft, to leather daddy gay. nice shift. Rocktober Blood is perhaps that works the best. not scary to me...but the music and theatrics, and lyrics work well.
    this post means i will now have to transfer my Death Metal Zombies VHS. crap.

  2. Spastic Colon guitarist looks like Nikki Sixx. Or Matt Trippe. Or both.
    And their bassist is the guy from Roxette, I guess.

  3. Jesus fuck, is that really Holy Moses the german female-fronted thrash band in Hard Rock Zombies? My friends and I have been laughing at that movie for ages.

  4. I can't believe there's been no mention of the movie Trick or Treat anywhere on this blog. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

  5. There's no fuckinway that's Holy Moses. Go find a copy of 'Finished with the Dogs' from 1987. As scathingly brutal as it gets, even 20 years later.

    I still hate 80's pop-culture.

    Rocktober Blood is so much more disturbing to me than any modern goregrind, on many, many levels...

  6. No mention of Accept's "Fast as a Shark" in Demons.....philistines

  7. Great post...I think I've actually seen most of those. I was a little disappointed that The Undead from the Phantom Of The Paradise was not mentioned. Easily the greatest metal song of all time in a movie. They probably even inspired black metal..but without the shitty fucking vocals. Check it out:

  8. Fucking Black Roses. Amazing. That clip was the best by far. Spastic Colon comes a little behind. But, whew, that Black Roses clip... absolutely classic. Looks like I've got some movies to try and watch here...

  9. I was quite intrigued by these clips, and started doing some research on these bands. Two of the guys in Holy Moses (who clearly have nothing to do with the German thrash band) formed the hard rock band Silent Rage.

  10. I saw Tankard & Holy Moses in two different german detective TV-series. One was "Ein Fall für Zwei", the other I don't remember...

  11. I totally added Black Roses to my Netflix queue after reading this

  12. Another great Rock horror Is Trick Or Treat with Ozzy and Jim Simmons . Rock and Roll Nightmare is really Funny as well.

    RM Leila