Monday, December 1, 2008

Black Metal Gets The Thumbs Up From Madison Avenue



I know, I know...even mentioning black metal for comedic purposes is now considered expected. Some would say it's way too easy. As a matter of fact, while the saying "like taking candy from a baby" is common in many households, in my house we use the less common but no less poignant "like making fun of black metal". Be that as it may, I simply couldn't help myself since I wanted to share this video with you...so read on.

Back in 1993 or so, my brother used to put out a video 'zine. The concept of a video 'zine seems insanely odd and dated now, but back then it kinda' made sense. Kinda'. If you were heavily into tape trading in the early 90s, you'd probably understand. Anyway, I used to help him with the 'zine, and I remember one guy that we interviewed for it very well. He was the singer for a death metal band, and when we asked him what bands he was influenced by, he listed mostly obscure black metal bands. After we recorded the interview, we drove home and got a frantic call from this guy. He wanted us to delete the portion of the video where he listed all the black metal bands that he listened to, and to please not put that portion in the 'zine. He was afraid of possible retaliation or violence from black metal bands as a result of him being in a death metal band, but being into black metal. This sounds absolutely insane now, and to be honest, it sounded a little silly to us back then too. To be fair, however, I guess at the time it seemed to be somewhat within the realm of possibility. God, how things have changed.



I'm sure the guys from Darkthrone wish they could get .000002% of the profits generated by this ad campaign so that they can quit their jobs at the post office.

23 comments:

  1. this commercial is a total rip from an ad 3 years back or so. Given, it was from another country, but still. Shows a black metal band playing live, then they go back stage take all their gear, wigs, etc off and they are all old and lame.

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  2. I remember this from earlier in the year, sad state of affairs.
    Since when did you see mayhem or gorgoroth with chickens impaled on stage, its all about the sheep and pigs heads i thought!

    Though saying that the colonel is from kentucky, wouldnt be surprised if he has some wkd kvlt as shit ombrnsbm shit coming out on moribund! maybe even a split with striburger.

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  3. But that wasn't black metal really, they just dress like it was. That ad would have made more sense if they used some clown from a cirkus with tattoos and piercings...wait, never mind.

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  4. It would be a big deal for me but then I fucking hate black metal.

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  5. Darkthrone don't play live and have a sense of humor, Atilla Csihar nowadays wears these sort of performance art costumes, Satyr has cut of most of his hair and now sort of looks like Mr. Data for Star Trek (and pretty gay too actually, don't be surprised if he is the second major BM artist to come out of the closet) and Gaahl, the one who actually still wears corpse paint, is a vegetarian.

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  6. I see Darth Vader's doing voiceovers again. Shit, a Sith's gotta pay the bills.

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  7. Which Deicide album is this song from?

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  8. ted said...

    "this commercial is a total rip from an ad 3 years back or so. Given, it was from another country, but still"

    Yep, it´s german, an ad for meat, suggesting that eating meat makes you cool even if youre an old fart..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qM13vGjdLG0

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  9. I know that Darkthrone have a sense of humor now, how very post-black metal of them to do. Still, I'm sure working at the post office is hard work, and I'm sure getting a little piece of that action would be nice.

    The Attila Csihar pictures are nuts. Look out Mushroomhead and Slipknot...here he comes!

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  10. mudiferous quadrupedDecember 1, 2008 at 12:51 PM

    That wasn't really black metal. It was brawk metal.

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  11. Speaking of Slipknot...that spot reminds me of the "coq-rock" ad campaign that Burger King had a few years back. Utterly troubling.

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  12. I'm impressed at his ability to bark vocals into the mic without stabbing himself in the face with his spiked gauntlets.

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  13. So, from what band was the singer that wanted his comments redacted?

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  14. That first story, about the guy in the Death Metal band, was totally bad ass! You should upload some of your videos on here.

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  15. "I know that Darkthrone have a sense of humor now, how very post-black metal of them to do."

    You've written a lot how about when you were 16 you thought Glen Danzig was really cool. So you should know that people can not be held accountable for anything they do before their 20th birthday. The coolness detection and irony lobes of the brain are not fully developed at that age.

    "Still, I'm sure working at the post office is hard work"

    No way. Norway is the Saudi-Arabia of Europe. They have so much oil that Norwegians don't actually have to work. The government just sorts of make them pretend they do, so we won't get jealous. Fenriz probably works about two weeks each year. The rest of the time he is either hiking or drinking Ringnes beer in his favourite bar.

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  16. Also, no one else said anything about this, so I thought I would point out that the name of the band is fucking Helvetica. Pretty fucking brutal, named after a font. Watch out for my one man drum machine driven Myspace Black Metal project Times New Roman, coming to you in the darkest and coldest of the winter months. Whichever one it turns out to be.

    Also, if you're one of the doofuses saying "This isn't black metal", it sounds exactly like Dimmu Borgir, so... you lose.

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  17. I used to think that black metal bands had no sense of humor. Then yesterday I saw the fan gallery on gorgoroth's website. There's a couple genius entries done in MS Paint that should put that myth to rest. Fucking brilliant.

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  18. http://afistinthefaceofgod.blogspot.com/2008/11/origin-of-true-thumbs-down-one-year-on.html

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  19. that combo meal looks more interesting than the band.

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  20. Dimmu Borgir isn't really black metal. Black Metal is Darkthrone, Immortal, Emperor and the like. I'm guessing the name Helvetica came from "Helvete" which is swedish for Hell. Kinda like "Metallica"

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  21. In the beginning pearl hunting was the only means known for harvesting pearls. A little before the start of the 20th century divers manually pulled oysters from ocean floors and river bottoms and checked each one of them individually for pearls.

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