Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Moving Sale - Everything must go... into storage.

Ah!! It's good to be back! This is my first post since 9/24/08. As some of you may know my life has been a total pile of dog shit since. As we have said many times before, MI staffers are reluctant to reveal too much our personal lives, but I'm gonna make an exception and tell you that my wife fucking left me. The details aren't important, but what matters here is that we are selling our place and I have to move out. I'm selling a lot of my stuff, but not all. I have no idea what shithole in Bed-Stuy I'm gonna end up into, so I'm moving what I'm not selling into storage. As I'm packing, I'll share with you a few things I run into that may be of interest to our readers. Today: some awesome T-shirts.

Crappy art by Stevo

It's no secret I love Impetigo. You can read about my obsession on this post from last year. This sweet Impetigo T-shirt was given to me as a gift by Richard C. of Wild Rags himself, outside the Eagles Auditorium in Milwaukee, WI on July 30th, 1993. It serves as the only piece of hard evidence and proof that I was present during Impetigo's good bye show later that evening. I also wore this T-shirt proudly as we visited Jeffrey Dahmer's place the next day. I was wearing an Impetigo shirt as I stood in front of apartment 213.

This is one of my favorite T-shirts ever. It's pretty bizarre. I traded this shirt with this guy I knew named Brian. I can't remember what I gave him for it, but I know he got ripped off. This shirt is the cat's pajamas! I've only worn this tee a handful of times, since acquiring it in '92. It's spent most of the last 10 years in a plastic bag as demonstrated by its wrinkled appearance. The art is not by Stevo, as Impetigo shirts usually displayed, but it's just as shitty. It looks like it was hand done, not silk screened and the back glows in the dark. That's fucking right bitches, I have an Impetigo shirt that glows in the motherfucking dark. That's how I roll, son!

Kreator 1993 Coma of Souls tour T-shirt. I think the sleeves were removed a few years after that. Not much to say about this one, really. Just that, as you can see, this shirt has been washed a shitload of times and it's so wide it can only be worn by George Costanza.

I don't know WTF I was thinking. Why did I cut the sleeves off on all these T-shirts? I weighed 117lbs up until 1999. My arms were the size of toothpicks, yet I felt my tiny guns needed to be displayed?

This is my favorite T-shirt of this bunch. If I remember correctly, I got this classic tee at a comic book store in Miami. My friend Camilo was waiting just outside in his white Grand Am. I grabbed the thing off the rack and bailed. I wore it at least twice a week since the summer of 1991 until 1998 or so. I'm wearing it in half of our band photos during that time. Many of the scars on the tee are pretty fucking metal, too. A few of the rips came in the pit and all the small holes at the bottom are from the spikes on my belt. The big chunk missing from the bottom happened after a patch I had sown to cover another hole, ripped off during a show in Dee-troit.

Once again, the sleeves were removed at some point. This time, the sleeves ripped and I've had this safety pin holding the thing together for years. I actually still wear this thing once in a while. I usually wear a Harmony Corruption long sleeve under it.

There's a whole box of these things. Every one of them filled with memories and stories.

Alright, like I said, it's good to be back and I hope to get back in the groove and start posting regularly again. Thanks to all the fans that cared enough to realize I hadn't been around. You all need to get a life. Stay metal.


  1. I had that Obituary shirt. It was badass, but lost now.

  2. Sorry to hear about the wife, but those fucking Impetigo shirts more than make up for it. I wish I'd kept a load of my shirts that I stupidly gave away in a fit of idiocy. I know most of you reading this blog hate Black Metal but I had some classic early BM shirts that I will never get again.

  3. Krusher, as regards your wife - you're better off without her, my friend. I mean, she wanted Michael fucking Phelps to bone her, man! Think about that. Imagine his spindly limbs in amorous movement, hear his inarticulate grunts, see the retarded face grimace and reveal gum as he shoots and scores. And as the pain over that fact reaches its peak, you'll come through to the other side and realize she wasn't for you. Fuck 'er.

    Tees held together by safety pins? Hella metal! Welcome back!

  4. Get a life... and stay metal?

    Impossible. You know better.

    And don't worry, you'll find someone younger and hotter. That's the way it works.

  5. i had the Napalm shirt...it was very cheaply made and lasted less than 6 months (where ironically my Mass Appeal Madness made it all the way from 92 thru LAST YEAR)...

    also, that Kreator shirt...hmmm...i have to be an ass and correct you sir and say it looks more like Renewal era than Coma of Souls era (which would jive with the give 1993 date you've provided)...sorry im a dick :p

  6. sucks, bro... bed stuy isn't so bad though. Of course, i was already living there when my wife left me, so there wasn't that whole adaptation phase.

  7. The ND got its first rip when i tried to jump over my friend Felipe's fence in Miami, in order to get a soccer ball. the shirt caught and it ripped.

    The Kreator shirt was bought at the record store on 72nd in Miami, by Bird Bowl. My friend Mansoor bought it for me, that poor kid...we all milked him for so much money. i would just tell him what i wanted and he'd buy it for me.

  8. Bed-Stuy isn't so bad. I can get you tattooed.

  9. the most metal shirt i have ever seen is my friend´s white "south of heaven" shirt with real bloodstains on it. (he got his nose punched in the pit at one time...). i still got a box full of old tees in my parent´s house´s attic as well.

    @ krusher: keep your head up, bro. at least you´ve got more time to post shit now.

    @ catatonic dissassembly: well, seems like i have to be the ass that corrects the ass! the Kreator shirt is really from the Coma of Souls era. Do your homework again and never doubt the Krusher!!

  10. I haven't got the phisique to remove sleeves from t-shirts to show my arms.
    Actually, that's one of my dreams: be a body-builder, and stroll around with sleeveless t-shirts!

  11. Frank,

    Your dream is valid. We all need something to get us through life...if that's your carrot on a stick, so be it. What's my dream you ask? Having enough money to get an operation to have insanely long pinky fingers...like maybe 10" long. It would be sweet.

  12. Nah, It's a Coma of Souls shirt, I used to have the same one. It say's Coma of Souls on the back if memory serves.

  13. ...be a body builder, and work for Bangbros. That would be great! Join me, Lucho!

  14. 1. arguing about kreator shirts in blog comments = you're an internet metal nerd

    2. i love the "i hate my fucking ex-wife" tag! i don't hate mine, but i kind of resent her a little and i'll definitely be using it too!

  15. what size the the milwaukee metal fest shirt? If its a medium or well shrunk large, i'm interested. I'm here in Brooklyn, but used to live in the midwest. i fondly remember seeing destruction play there several years ago.

  16. That sucks about your wife, but if you're not against living with a bunch of twenty-something college students, I might have a solution to your housing sitch:


    If you're interested I could maybe broker this since I go to the school and it'd be easier.

  17. thanx for all the kind word, guys, my life has a way of sucking hard, so i'm used to shit like this.

    i'm pretty sure the kreator shirt is coma of souls tour. it does say that on the back, i think. i'll check when i get home and get back to you.

    i mentioned bed-stuy, just 'cuz i was looking to move there years and years ago and saw an apartment that was SO bad i thought i was in candid camera. who knows where i'll move. i may say 'fuck it all' and move to jersey. EEEEEW! sorry, that was NOT funny! KM, where do you tattoo? im looking for a cover-up. a girls name ;)

    frank, i most definitely did not have the arms to cut them sleeves off. i still don't. i have no idea what i was thinking. i do like your plan... the bangbus part intrigues me. i'd have to work for monsters of cock, tho. you can take bus.

    sorry, the impetigo MMF shirt is not for sale! none of these are. i'll pass them onto my kids, who will inevitably not give a shit and throw them out.

    1. arguing about kreator shirts in blog comments = this is the BEST blog EVER

    2. i love the "i hate my fucking ex-wife" tag = i laugh at my own misery.


  18. arguing about kreator shirts in blog comments = this is the BEST blog EVER


  19. @KM you should get me tattooed since i already live in the neighborhood!

    or not, since i am a complete stranger.

  20. I definitely want the white impy one.
    How the hell do I contact you? There's no contact in the post!

  21. I had the same Napalm Death shirt and mine suffered a similar fate. The left side of the shirt ended up getting ripped from the armpit all the way to the bottom of the shirt during a Sacrifice show. At the time I thought it was cool. I mean...I was raging so hard in the pit, look what happened to my shirt, right? I was fucking coool!

  22. ahh, if your wife isn't metal, there's a pretty big chance a bitter divorce will prevail. Once all the semen blockage is cleared after a couple of years of pumping the wells, the brain starts to breathe again and you realize what's important... a real woman that's actually into metal. They are quite elusive and rare but thankfully the internet is at your hairy palms reach for starters. Then again all women are time consuming bi-polar paranoid insecure maniacs, get a flesh-light, no spooning, cuddling or having to mute the tv to talk required!

  23. hey,im bobo from malaysia..have you ever heard of this country?nvrmind if u dont know..i just wanna ask you,do you buy shirt?i mean,i have a long sleeve fear factory shirt,blue colour and still in good condition..it has a tiny printed says "2000 blue grape merchandising" something like that..so i check out at google and found this blog which is your blog..haha..so is my shirt valuable?

  24. hey,im bobo from malaysia..have you ever heard of this country?nvrmind if u dont know..i just wanna ask you,do you buy shirt?i mean,i have a long sleeve fear factory shirt,blue colour and still in good condition..it has a tiny printed says "2000 blue grape merchandising" something like that..so i check out at google and found this blog which is your blog..haha..so is my shirt valuable?

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