Monday, January 12, 2009

Tommy Victor Disease: A Pathology


Sometime back, Metal Inquisition introduced the world to the concept of Rob Flynn's Disease. As many of you know, this severe illness has struck many aging metalers, and Metal Inquisition simply had to inform the world in order to stop the madness. For those who may have missed our ongoing coverage of this disease, here's some background information:

R.F.D. (named after Robb Flynn, previously of the band Vio-Lence, now of Machine Head) usually strikes aging, out of step metal fossils. The disease usually hits hardest when the victim was originally (and only slightly) known for being in one band which is no longer around, and more than likely played a style that has fallen out of favor with today's audiences. Though most of those who suffer from this disease are musicians who are broke and desperate, some partial mutations of the disease have also struck somewhat successful musicians such as Kerry King and Scott Ian.

Symptoms

Individuals dealing with the disease will take on certain characteristics best suited for 15 year old ravers in Kansas, in a pathetic, last ditch effort to remain somewhat relevant and "with it". Often seen as a crucial part of any last ditch effort in the musical arena, R.F.D. is often seen by those who suffer from it as a new lease on life. Think of it as the metal equivalent of automotive oil that is especially formulated for high millage cars.


As purveyors of truth in the world of metal, we felt it would be irresponsible to not fill everyone in on a recent mutation of R.F.D. That mutation, as the title of this post clearly states is: Tommy Victor Disease. Just as the lunch lady in your high school managed to make today's burgers into tomorrow's sloppy joes, so too diseases mutate and change in order to survive one more day.


Like other eponymous diseases (diseases named after the first person to have or describe the condition) such as Lou Gehring's disease and Alzheimer disease, T.V.D. (Tommy Victor Disease) can take over quickly, and render an aging rocker even more useless than he was previously.

What's the difference between RFD and TVD?
When RFD first took hold, the fashion of choice for teenage douchebags was big pants, skateboarding brand tshirts, and skate shoes. Times have changed. As such, Tommy Victor (who must be roughly 59 now) has chosen to take on the fashion choices of today's teenage douchebags. I'm talking of course, about Affliction clothing, mixed in with a little Urban Outfitters for good measure.


For Tommy Victor, it all started after Prong. I remember seeing him when he played with Danzig, parading through the audience while wearing a clear plastic shirt and rubber pants, hitting on old ladies. It all went downhill from there.

Keep in mind that although TVD is not exclusive to the east coast, residents of the New Jersey/New York area (Long Island in particular) have an acute tendency towards the disease. In most cases, TVD begins when the aging metaler starts to look to teenage members of his audience for fashion ideas. This is usually compounded with the the individual starting to look at websites like njguido.com for fashion ideas.




The evidence


Man-tits and a tight shirt meant for a 19 year old. That's a good luck for any 59 year old. You can say that the guy on the right is dressed like an aging, fat idiot...but at least his attire is age appropriate.





In a horrible nightmare that I've had many times in the last two years I find myself face to face with these two...I have a gun but only one bullet. Which one do you take out? In my dream, I always kill myself instead.



Here we see Tommy and his stylist trying to plug in the Nocturnus time machine, in order to transport Tommy back to a time when the music he made was half-way relevant.


Here's a little shopping tip...once you are twice the age and twice the weight of the people who work at Urban Outfitters, it's time to stop buying hats there. Also, I'm sure that 38 year old waitress was stoked to meet you.




Great use of the Myspace style of photography. Who says 59 year olds can't stay current? Nice lip-ring by the way, I'm sure lots of 10th graders are impressed.




Myspace photography stance again. Look at that chain. You can take the guido out of Queens, but you can't take the Queens out of the guido.




Nothing says aging guido like a good Affliction-style t-shirt.




You know you have bad fashion sense when you put on a shinny green football jersey, and most people consider it an improvement over your normal attire. This picture finally settles the argument regarding which member of Prong really pushed Blue Grape merchandise to make the famed Prong hockey jersey.

40 comments:

  1. I haven't noticed yet how Victor looks like a mix of Robb Flynn, Pete Steele and my friend Amedeo...

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  2. Im intrigued by his legs in the picture with the other old dude with the kiss poster.

    It looks like all of his man fat has been forced upwards to allow him to fit into 26" waist jeans and give the impression of a greater upper body, but has unfortunatly only resulted in a larger cup size. Interestingly you do this to a dogs tail and it will drop off!

    Also what the hell has he got in his pocket, im guessing a pda of some kind with wireless and a camera so he can hit up myspace on the go.

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  3. How dare you besmirch the good character of Mr. Victor! One day you too shall be mocked Lucho Metales. In 2018 the web will be inundated with reports of LMD.

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  4. You guys should do a post on Glen Danzig's disease, a tragic condition where the patient develops a severe allergic reaction to shirts. This condition is espicialy prevalent among the metal community, New Jersey guidos and British glamour models

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  5. Frank: you forgot that he also looks like Paul Stanley. Look at the pic of Lucho's nightmare. He looks like Paul, the old black southern woman! He can open his eyes as much as Paul when he is astonished.
    Anyway, I remember a couple of years ago I started seeing lots of douchebags with Affliction t-shirts. I couldn't believe that the band Affliction had so many fans out of nowhere after years of splitting up (there are tons of bands called affliction, but the douchebags were Americans, so I thought those t-shirts were related to the American thrash band). Anyway, the weird thing is that all these people looked like they suffered from TVD, so I had to find out what that t-shirt referred to (all those dbags didn't look very metal). Finally I asked to one dbag that was wearing it, and told me it was something related to wrestling, and at that point everything made sense.

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  6. I hope Tommy Victor starts a blog and he comments on my fashion sense, I would be so flattered!

    He does look a bit like Paul Stanley...I guess both of their faces are melting.

    CW, you are right about his fat going up as a result of the tighter waistline. It's like cake frosting in a bag....you squeeze it one way, it goes the other.

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  7. re: the fat being forced upward by his pants. You might want to put the muffintop tag on this post.

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  8. As a fellow Queens native, I am embarrassed by Tommy's fashion sense but he gets points for managing to eek out a living playing guitar. It beats working as an auto mechanic somewhere in Kew Gardens!

    Also, I also suggested this on MetalSucks.net but you guys should do a post on the Affliction/Ed Hardy sporting bands. Examples include Sevendust and the singer of All That Remains.

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  9. Perhaps it's just my morbid curiosity, but I wonder how much a guy like Tommy Victor can make a year. in a good year, is he doing over 100k? 60k? Is that possible? I guess he plays with Ministry now..and I"m sure they do fests in Europe. I want to do a post where I estimate the earnings of all kinds of people in bands...all in hopes of people with some insider information coming forward and leetting us know. I always wondered what the guys from Manowar make...they live in upstate New York...so anything would go a long way there.

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  10. That is a great idea Luchos! I often wonder what guys like him make. For example, how much did James Lomenzo (bassist of Megadeth and formerly of White Lion) make in 2008?

    I should be shot for thinking about stuff like that.

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  11. 1. re: income, this would seriously be a good question for joe escalante (barelylegalradio.com / vandals). he knows these things

    2. as a big mma fan, i really hate affliction and their retarded cousin tapout. we do need a post about them

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  12. Now THIS is the Metal Inquisition I know and love. It's time that queer-baits like Rob Flynn and Tommy Victor and publicly eviscerated for gorfing the proverbial shaft. I only hope that those two closeted homo-gueeds come here to confront their own love of sweaty dudes, veiney penises and making horrible, 4th rate groove metal. Right on, M.I.

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  13. "...as a big mma fan, i really hate affliction and their retarded cousin tapout. we do need a post about them"

    Your stock with me is rising, Sergeant D.

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  14. Tommy Lee has a pretty severe case of this.

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  15. ian, i've been watching MMA since the pancrase days (93/94). i used to train 5 or 6 days a week and if i wasn't too old i would think about taking an ammy fight at 145. my wrestling isn't the best, but my overall game isn't too bad!

    tapout has always been retarded, but at least they've supported the sport since day 1. affliction are bandwagon-jumpers that introduced skulls and frilly banners to mma. not cool!

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  16. Sergeant D--I don't have many good things to say about MMA. It seemed harmless enough going back to the mid-90s, with Hoyce Gracie and all those characters but it seems, nowadays, that it's just a beat-fest that involves little fighting skill with a high-violence-for-the-sake-of-it aesthetic. All of that aside, the TRUE bottom-feeder in the industry appears to be the TapOut/Affliction shit, encouraging a new, thuggish and moronic generation to even more acts of brutish savagery without the grace of a normal martial arts competition. That's just my take on it, though.

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  17. yeah, you couldn't be more wrong. its precisely the opposite of what you describe: mma was a spectacle back in the day, but now it's just a sport like any other. unfortunately the tapout/affliction douchebag is a new development, though.

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  18. tommy victor is the biggest PRONG in metal. yes, pun is intended.

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  19. yeah man this MMA stuff is getting pretty outta control. I mean MEGADETH performing at Affliction's first PPV. I was at my cousisn getting drunk watching both the UFC and Affliction events at the same time while eating catered tacos when they came on.

    I then proceeded to wait to see Glen Drover butcher holy wars solo, grunted, and proceeded to finish my taco.

    On another note, I'm beginning my training in either Systema or Krav Maga, and I wont wear a single shirt from either.

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  20. I enjoy some of the fighting, but it would be tough to do that unless you hated your opponent. Besides the fights usually break down to a hugging match on the mat. Like most sports, including war, it's overall very boring with some blasts of excitement.
    I remember I wrote an angry letter to Prong years ago after getting their Pushead cover album. Man did that suck. They should have quit after Primitve Origins.

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  21. wrestling? really? what kind of satisfaction do you get out of pinning some sweaty stranger in speedos and rubbing your cohones all over his face? I don't know what's worse, watching or doing that shiz. Ultimate fighting was almost cool cuz you thought that just maybe you'd see teeth, blood and guts flying into the camera but 90% of the time it's all about the hugging... it's time to evaluate your sexuality people, wtf! nobody mentions women's mud/jello wrestling, that should be a fucking national sport.

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  22. tarpit - I think you mean they should have quit after Force Fed. man, that album did (and still does) rule. nothing but shit sandwich after that, tho.

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  23. To be fair, given that Tommy joined Danzig, it's entirely possible that he's contractually obligated to dress like an idiot.

    I'm sure that when you join Danzig there's some clause in your contract that says something like "I hereby agree to grow my hair to roughly shoulder length, dye it jet black, wear exclusively tight, black clothing, grow awful sideburns and/or a goatee, wear oversized, ludicrous belt buckles and sunglasses, and walk around in public in a leather jacket and weight lifting gloves. I waive any right to complain about such attire as looking ridiculous on pain of being fired by Danzig."

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  24. What is the deal with all of the hate?

    I just Googled Tommy Victor for the hell of it.

    I was actually the drummer in what was undoubtedly Tommy's first band.

    We hauled my drums all the way from my parents house and then across Main Street, Flushing, to Tommy's parents house.

    We set up shop in their garage.

    We called ourselves "Shades of Sanity", and then "Shades of Bronze", or visa versa.

    Hey, Tommy...You still owe me a set of drum sticks. Do you remember?

    Glad to hear you followed your dream.

    Regards,

    Z

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  25. its spread through Tommy Lee , now to Brett Micheals

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  26. Wow, you guys are a bunch of really hateful sonsofabitches. I bet nobody on these postings can play even one song from the damager album. Tommy Victor has spent most of his life trying to spread his music without much in return, and now that he landed some good tours with Danzig and Ministry, you think he's made of money! Well nobody in music is rich today except for hip-hop superstars that don't make their own music. And as for fashion, I know that affliction clothing is for posers with too much money, but there are far weirder outfits being worn at metal shows. Just check out Motley Crue, Kiss, or John-5.

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  27. Ah! Could someone please call a doctor (or perhaps the CDC) to investigate another mysterious disease that, almost without warning, knocks short, shit-talking metal wash-outs on their asses, unconcious. At the condition's onset, victim will use foul language and attempt to aggresively shove larger, stronger men of the Hardcore pursuasion. Immediately following, victim is met with a single blow to the face. Then, mimicing the symptoms of narcolepsy, victim awakens to find himself delirious and highly embarrassed while being coddled by oddly affectionate fans. Although most often witnessed on grammer school playgrounds, one Glen Danzig was recently found himself striken by this rare disease.

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  28. Whats the difference between tommy and any other aging musician?? None of you are aware of everything that he has gone through. He has worked so hard to get where he his today. Are you guys just jealous that he wears more expensive clothing than you do? You guys are so quick to judge on what he looks like but have you ever taken the time to look at YOURSELF in the mirror? Or the fact that he was up for a grammy this year? I think all of your problems is called JEALOUSY. a nasty disease. seriously sh*t talking over the interenet? come on go back to high school. This is what 13 year olds do. i think all of you need to get over yourself. and give respect to the people who actually TRY and do something good like bring music to other peoples ears. fuck off.

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  29. In 1990 I actually married TV and had a child with him! Unfortunately, I agree with most of this article says! However, I would like everyone to know that Tommy Victor was not always like this! When I met him back in 1988 at CBGB's he was the coolest guy I had ever met (I am from Indiana :))The things that I admired about him the most are the things he seems to have forgotten about today. The Tommy Victor I knew hated mainstream ANYTHING,Tommy was always the person everyone else looked up to. He was his own person. He hated the type of guys that dated strippers and pretended to be younger than what they were, wannabe's and aged rock stars! The man I loved and looked up to for so many years ago would have laughed at what he has become today! I just want everyone to know that Tommy Victor was not always like this. I just think he has lost his way some how and has forgotten what it is like when he had people that truly cared about him and helped him to make the right decisions! Tommy is an intelligent, caring and talented man! Also, he is not the ONLY aging rocker!!! Look at Glenn Danzig,Tommy Lee,Slash,Axl Rose, Scott Weiland,Rob Zombie,Evan Seinfeld, Sebastian Bach, need I go on? ALL of these men are around the same age as Tommy and older!Los Angeles,bad luck and timing are all things that have brought Tommy to where he is today. Also he's NOT 59 or anywhere close to that age! I would just like for each of you to think about what it would be like to have played music your ENTIRE life! You don't know any other kind of life! Most of the people around you only think of you as a meal ticket! Tommy Victor is one of the most talented guitar players around! Yes I agree it's time for him to move in a different direction, but to those who truly love him, we know how hard he has worked and how he can do ANYTHING he sets his mind to! I think he looks pretty damn good for his age!Life does not always turn out the way we expect it to!

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  30. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH....LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
    This sum funny shit!
    I've know Tom from my days with Antidote,I see the the "affliction" in his eyes!
    That being said, I am Italian, from fuckin queens, but no Afflic T..........
    Enjoyed the reads,

    Zane

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  31. Oh Ya...
    He is not 59....
    Because I am 50!

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  32. What kind of Faggot would spend so much time worring aboutwhat another man wears? Get a fucking hobby, or go back in the closet you came from.

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  33. To quote Tommy, 'Opinions are like assholes...everyone's one.' from the song Contradictions.

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  34. I'm a prong fan but this shit is pretty funny, poor TV. :( LMAO!!!

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  35. Hilarious that his ex wife still to this day probably googles him so she can add her two cents in. She still hasn't moved on! lol
    Tommy has played for a long time and i used to be a fan until after one time at a concert, which i have seen him many times btw, he bitched out his road crew in front of everyone and then another time he got violent with his ex girlfriend. I always thought they were going to get married but better off she left him. He needs a makeover inside and out. That guy turned out to be a dirtbag

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  36. Dude, you have no idea what you are talking about! As for if I have moved on or not, I would say getting remarried in 2003 says it all!! However, I will say this, I met Tommy when we were young & before he was famous! We have a daughter together so I will ALWAYS LOVE HIM! Also, I don't sit and google him, somebody I know sent a link to this post! Please keep in mind too that things are not always what they seem! If ya don't know Tommy personally then u don't have a right to judge him! I think ALL of us have made mistakes!!!!

    Peace,
    The ex wife!!!

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  37. Hey ex wife-
    I agree, he wasn't pretentious like he is now. He and I had some fun times when he was on the road. I don't know if I was the only girlfriend he had when he was married to you. Somehow, I doubt it. But that was a long time ago. I remember seeing him not long after your daughter was born. I helped him celebrate. Sorry.

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  38. Prong rules! End of discussion.

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