Tommy Victor Disease: A Pathology

Sometime back, Metal Inquisition introduced the world to the concept of Rob Flynn's Disease. As many of you know, this severe illness has struck many aging metalers, and Metal Inquisition simply had to inform the world in order to stop the madness. For those who may have missed our ongoing coverage of this disease, here's some background information:

R.F.D. (named after Robb Flynn, previously of the band Vio-Lence, now of Machine Head) usually strikes aging, out of step metal fossils. The disease usually hits hardest when the victim was originally (and only slightly) known for being in one band which is no longer around, and more than likely played a style that has fallen out of favor with today's audiences. Though most of those who suffer from this disease are musicians who are broke and desperate, some partial mutations of the disease have also struck somewhat successful musicians such as Kerry King and Scott Ian.

Symptoms

Individuals dealing with the disease will take on certain characteristics best suited for 15 year old ravers in Kansas, in a pathetic, last ditch effort to remain somewhat relevant and "with it". Often seen as a crucial part of any last ditch effort in the musical arena, R.F.D. is often seen by those who suffer from it as a new lease on life. Think of it as the metal equivalent of automotive oil that is especially formulated for high millage cars.

As purveyors of truth in the world of metal, we felt it would be irresponsible to not fill everyone in on a recent mutation of R.F.D. That mutation, as the title of this post clearly states is: Tommy Victor Disease. Just as the lunch lady in your high school managed to make today's burgers into tomorrow's sloppy joes, so too diseases mutate and change in order to survive one more day.


Like other eponymous diseases (diseases named after the first person to have or describe the condition) such as Lou Gehring's disease and Alzheimer disease, T.V.D. (Tommy Victor Disease) can take over quickly, and render an aging rocker even more useless than he was previously.

What's the difference between RFD and TVD?
When RFD first took hold, the fashion of choice for teenage douchebags was big pants, skateboarding brand tshirts, and skate shoes. Times have changed. As such, Tommy Victor (who must be roughly 59 now) has chosen to take on the fashion choices of today's teenage douchebags. I'm talking of course, about Affliction clothing, mixed in with a little Urban Outfitters for good measure.


For Tommy Victor, it all started after Prong. I remember seeing him when he played with Danzig, parading through the audience while wearing a clear plastic shirt and rubber pants, hitting on old ladies. It all went downhill from there.

Keep in mind that although TVD is not exclusive to the east coast, residents of the New Jersey/New York area (Long Island in particular) have an acute tendency towards the disease. In most cases, TVD begins when the aging metaler starts to look to teenage members of his audience for fashion ideas. This is usually compounded with the the individual starting to look at websites like njguido.com for fashion ideas.




The evidence

Man-tits and a tight shirt meant for a 19 year old. That's a good luck for any 59 year old. You can say that the guy on the right is dressed like an aging, fat idiot...but at least his attire is age appropriate.

In a horrible nightmare that I've had many times in the last two years I find myself face to face with these two...I have a gun but only one bullet. Which one do you take out? In my dream, I always kill myself instead.

Here we see Tommy and his stylist trying to plug in the Nocturnus time machine, in order to transport Tommy back to a time when the music he made was half-way relevant.

Here's a little shopping tip...once you are twice the age and twice the weight of the people who work at Urban Outfitters, it's time to stop buying hats there. Also, I'm sure that 38 year old waitress was stoked to meet you.

Great use of the Myspace style of photography. Who says 59 year olds can't stay current? Nice lip-ring by the way, I'm sure lots of 10th graders are impressed.

Myspace photography stance again. Look at that chain. You can take the guido out of Queens, but you can't take the Queens out of the guido.

Nothing says aging guido like a good Affliction-style t-shirt.

You know you have bad fashion sense when you put on a shinny green football jersey, and most people consider it an improvement over your normal attire. This picture finally settles the argument regarding which member of Prong really pushed Blue Grape merchandise to make the famed Prong hockey jersey.