Heavy Metal in the Economic Downturn

We at Metal Inquisition have made a startling discovery - an unprecedented display of economic foresight from The Netherlands in 1981. It's difficult to even fathom, but over 25 years ago, a group of Dutch musicians and intellectuals - Renaissance men in the classical mold - predicted the economic downturn of 2009. Their treatise on the subject has long been in the public domain, but only now has the true meaning of this work revealed itself.

What's even more impressive is that this prognostication came not from the halls of academia or the journalistic press, but from the nascent Heavy Metal scene. I speak of the heavy metal band PICTURE, and you can view the video for their song "Unemployed" right here.



The modern-day relevance of "Unemployed" is astonishing. The lyrics anticipate a time when we've all lost our jobs, and have nothing to do but drink beer and listen to classic metal rocka rolla. Dominant forms of cultural activity appear to be setting off fire crackers, wearing sweat bands, and tearing through lengthy guitar solos. Is this not a brilliantly accurate description of all our current lives?

In this music video, we garner a glimpse of our future in the troubled economic climate through its deft symbolism. The "production values" of our "music videos" will be dreadful. The "leap from atop the kick drum" will be hampered by restrictive "spandex." This was the vision so artistically conveyed by PICTURE.

Through the boom of the late 80's and the Clinton years, unemployed mustached heavy metal idiocy would have seemed an inconceivable regression of the cultural norm. However, my informal polls indicate that 84% of Americans now "strongly agreed" with the description of themselves as "an unemployed, mustachioed heavy metal idiot." For PICTURE, this was all in the tea leaves.



The future is secure only for those few companies who anticipated the post-2009 shift to a pared down, riff-based economy. Marshall Amplification and Zildjian Cymbals come to mind. Shares of Ibanez stock are a "buy." I advise you to diversity your portfolio to include preferred stocks and killer gear.

Consider this music video PICTURE's dissertation on the subject. Look for the band members of PICTURE to receive the Nobel Prize in economics in the coming years, as their vision of an "Unemployed" world comes to pass. Until then, I recommend you drop out of your (now obsolete) college classes, and buy some records by RAVEN, DIAMOND HEAD, TANK, and others, to educate yourself in the skills of the new, heavy metal-trained, "Black Collar" workforce.

The cultural shift predicted by PICTURE is no more evident than on this blog. Few readers will remember that during the late 80's through the early 90's, the METAL INQUISITION blog covered primarily cold war relations and then the emerging Eastern European economies. During the mid 90's, METAL INQUISITION brought you the latest on the Balkan wars, Silicon Valley acquisitions, and the biotech research pipeline. METAL INQUISITION seeks the issues that matter, hence our recent coverage of Tom Warrior's leather jacket and Glen Benton's life at age 42. Keep reading in the upcoming months to stay informed on the issues defining our time.