Thursday, September 18, 2008

Heaven Or Hell


As a young metal fan, I would often turn to books that were written to inform parents about how bad, evil and satanic metal was for information about bands I should check out. Yes, most of those books dealt with hidden messages in songs like "Hotel California", and people like Alice Cooper...but from time to time you'd get lucky and get a book (as I did) which mentioned a band like Death or Slayer. Though the tone of these books was decidedly religious, I chose to bypass that aspect hoping to get some nuggets of information about some crazy metal band I'd never heard of. Clearly, times have changed. These books are barely printed anymore. Metal and rock have gone from being the main concern of christian authors, to merely being something that can be co-opted (that term again). When searching in christian bookstore's sites for "heavy metal", all I got were guitar tab books. Can you believe it? Turns out, metal is not christianity's public enemy number one anymore. Perhaps the muslim faith in general fills that role now. Consider the image I found while searching for a cover of one of these anti-metal books. Rock and metal aren't scary anymore. What a bummer. Both can be used for a purpose now.




So, back to those books, overtime reading enough of them would sometimes get to me. I was 11 then, so I would still ask myself some questions: Heaven or hell? Is hell real? If listing to this music was really going to send me to hell...would hell be such a bad place? I mean, Slayer would be the house band...so that's not so bad. With that in mind, I leave you with these two videos so you can make your choice over the weekend. Where do you want to go? In making the decision, please disregard Tom Araya's current catholic leanings. Just remember Slayer as evil as they were, or as they seemed to you when you were a little kid. The choice is still obvious to me.

HEAVEN:





HELL:

20 comments:

  1. so i noticed that the non-hanneman guitarist didn't have a tribal doo-rag on in that video. still, doo-rag or no, i also choose hell.

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  2. Wow, The Antichrist, one of the best Slayer's songs from the best album (Reign in Blood?? No way! Show No Mercy is 100 times better). Anyway, after watching those videos I'm doubting: are those hot chicks gonna be in heaven?

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  3. Yes, Kerry King didn't look like a wrestler then.

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  4. Pretty catchy that chorus on the Jesus song, man... pay attention on the fat bald guy on the backin vocals - he's on the verge of loosing his faith, I can tell you!
    Hey, Lucho Gonzalez, you forgot Purgatory - Metallica playin' "Hero of the Day" maybe?

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  5. hey, i think Kerry King still did look like a wrestler back then, but more like either a member of WWF's tag team Demolition or one of these tools in this post: http://metalinquisition.blogspot.com/2008/04/luchadores-metaleros-metal-infiltrates.html . Back in those days before he started pitching a man to man-tent for Stone Cold! :-D

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  6. Gonzalez? Metales, thank you very much. Even my name is metal. I don't front.

    Purgatory, good point. I will have to consult my local theologian to solve this difficult question.

    The fat dude and the lady with huge glasses that look like shop safety glasses are my favorites. I also love when he says that jesus is going to zap you. "zap!"

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  7. And Les Paul must be very proud! Rockin in heaven and hell! The nerd lookin one of Sonseed (nice black metal name, btw) even tried a weird solo - a St. Anger kinda solo, of course.

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  8. That opening sentence was pure gold. Lucho, you've nailed it yet again!

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  9. That Heaven one can't be real. It's one of those SNL spoofs, isn't it? Churches would be empty if that was the kind of crap they'd have to put up with.

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  10. Yeah, the "heaven" video looks like a Youtube sketch. It makes me wonder when Titannica is going to start playing their hit "Try Again".
    This video is agreat argument against ska music.

    Cosigned on "Show no Mercy" being the best slayer record.

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  11. Sonseed surely can't be real. That was so strange, it was a little creepy.

    So Slayer DID used to rock. How do you like that?

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  12. If anyone would like to hear more from christian ska masters Sonseed, you can download the full album here:


    http://www.cabel.name/2008/09/sonseed-full-album.html

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  13. When I was 13,14 I already listened to metal, but never thought about going to hell/heaven. That was a matter I simply didn't care for.
    Instead, I was scared to hell by watching Carcass cover arts, reading their lyrics/song titles, listening to their music. Back then I thought they were total perverts.
    Obviously, when I turned 15 they became my favourite band! ;-)

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  15. Ha ha, that Satan's Music Exposed book was a real letdown. I was so excited when I found it in my library's catalog and so depressed when it ended up being mostly devoted to "exposing" christian rock as evangelically retarded.

    You guys should funnel some of your blog wealth into tracking down the "experts"/law enforcement officials who used to appear on Geraldo, Oprah, et al. to warn the public of Satanic cults. I'd like to see if those guys are still flying the "cult awareness" flag and, if so, how they've adapted their message to our fallen nu-metal times (even talking about Marilyn Manson is a bit passe at this point)...

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  16. "Just remember Slayer as evil as they were, or as they seemed to you when you were a little kid. The choice is still obvious to me." You bought a blue shirt and navy blue vest and pant. You went the barbershop ask for haircut that comb over your baldspot. You torched your metal record cause Jesus was your friend.

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  17. seems like one the last books on how crazy metal can be was lords of chaos. now gangsta rap and muslims have definetely replaced the hate towards metal. why now there is christian black metal too. so i guess things come full circle.
    that video made me realize there really are worse things to be exposed to than julian lennon.

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  18. Oh Goddamit, Sonseed is almost enough to make swear off Ska for the rest of my life... Oh, wait there's always Mephiskapheles.

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