Monday, September 29, 2008

Where are they now: Mike Browning edition


If you're anything like me, Nocturnus is still probably your favorite drummer-fronted, Florida death metal to feature keyboards, and deal with the subject of time travel extensively. Because I continue to hold this band in such high regard, it was only logical that a thorough investigation be launched by the M.I. investigative staff regarding the whereabouts of the band's leader and frontman, Mike Browning. Below are the results of our investigation:

Mike continues to live in Tampa, Florida, where he earns between 30-45 thousand dollars a year, according to his MySpace profile. He owns the home he lives in, which he bought for only $45,000 in 1995. He lives behind a pawn shop (location, location, location!), where he apparently manages to score additions to his collection of Egyptian artifacts.

Mike's house is the one with a dark roof, directly behind the pawn shop.


These days, Mike has diverse interests ranging from dressing up as an Egyptian pharaoh, to playing the bongos while being dressed up as a pharaoh. Oh, and he's also into Kabbalah. First Madonna, then Aston Kutcher and now Mike Browning? Damn. Anyway, here are some images to quench the unbelievable thirst that comes with not having seen your musical hero for many years. Enjoy.



Here we see Mike playing the bongos while contemplating his musical career. Check out all the cool candle holders he's scored at the pawn shop over the years. Poor Mike, he sang about a "Lake Of Fire", but all he can afford now are a few candles from Ikea.




In this picture we see his two cars, and it also teaches us that if you're metal, you don't need a driveway...just park in the dirt. Check out the wicker chair and the wind chimes in the porch.




These are Mike's dogs, a rottweiler and a half-wolf/half-german shepherd. I should point out that owning a half-wolf is illegal in Florida unless you have a at least 2 1/2 acres of land and are granted a special, Class II Wildlife Permit by the Florida Game and Freshwater Fish Commission, but I'm sure Mike has all his paperwork in order. Why does Mike have these two menacing dogs? so that the droids wont enter his house while he's away. Get it? It's a joke!

Anyway, the inside of the house is exactly what you'd expect: stained carpets, and one of those awful area rugs with a wolf on it, the kind that is sold out of a van on the side of the road. (See the image below). Note the scratches on the door from the dogs trying to get out, due to Mike going on and on about how he was in Morbid Angel once. Can you blame the poor dogs?





Nothing says "evil" like pure American muscle. I'm with you there Mike. Sweet skull licence plate holder by the way.




Mike's way into marine life AND Photoshop! He's a true renaissance man, just consider his wildly varied interests.





Mike appears to be a huge fan of Steve Martin's early work.






What is it about Egypt that so captures the imagination of metal musicians? Fist there was Nile, and now we find out that Mike Browning has been parading around his house in Cleopatra make-up while wearing pirate-style shirts. Did he travel back in time with the Nocturnus time machine and end up in Egyptian times? Did the guys from Nile go with him? Why didn't they all stay there? I guess we'll never know.



PS: Before anyone points it out, I realize that my use of the "Things I would destroy if I had access to the Nocturnus time machine" label is contradictory to say the least. If Mike Browning and Nocturnus weren't around, neither would the very time machine I speak of. The use of this label puts the very space/time continium into question. So, while problematic, this notion is nevertheless highly descriptive of the feelings commonly held regarding both the band and their musical/lyrical output.

17 comments:

  1. Thanx for finding all this stuff! I once read it and seen all the pictures in an interview, but everything mysteriously disappeared from my PC history after a few days...you obviously have access to more powerful spheres of knowledge than mine.

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  2. I'm guessing he got that half-wolf/half-shepherd from Lisa Lombardo for his (hilarious) contributions to Lisa the Wolf. She probably gave him the rug, too.

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  3. The use of this label puts the very space/time continium into question.

    Please. Don't. Ever.

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  4. actually, nocturnus did the egypt thing before nile, way back in 1993 on their hard to find Moribund 7" (i think i have a copy, but i may have thrown it out along with all my Desultory and Benediction cassettes):

    http://static.metal-archives.com/images/6/4/8/648.jpg

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  5. ahh, see...i didn't know that. those two black cobras look very scary. that cover alone is worth writing a book about. Mr.Broken/Finger, don't worry. I too am afraid of the consequences that going back in time in the Nocturnus time machine would have. I don't dare even think of it.

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  6. How can you throw all the Desultory collection? That's one of the most amazing Death Metal bands ever (well, if we forget about the last album, when they tried to follow metallica). Well, but maybe not that good if you are into wigger slam. I understand about Benediction. They always sucked. It was amazing how even in 1990, when the death metal scene was just exploding, they were able to sound so generic. I knew them in 1991 and they maybe were among the first 10 death metal bands I heard, and at that time I already found them boring.

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  7. Incredible, as always. Absolutely incredible...

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  8. i love wigger slam, but i have very diverse tastes! i will listen to anything from Pyrexia to Morpheus Descends, or from Revenant to Resurrection. if there is anything distinctive about Benediction, it is probably that they are the MOST generic death metal band of all time.

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  9. Iron Maiden flirted with Egyptian imagery before Nile. For some reason that shit was everywhere in the 80s. You could go into a Spencer's gifts at your local mall and buy posters that featured Anubis, Ra and giant Sphinx's right next to where the kept the one's that featured muscle cars, yin yangs and Brooke Shields.

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  10. and before all of it, Kiss had Vinnie Vincent dressed in his Ankh costume.

    http://www.kissfanshop.de/VinnieVincent/vinnie83c.jpg

    i bet mike wishes he could go back in time with the time machine and buy up all that stuff at Spencer Gifts.

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  11. if you're metal, you don't need a driveway...just park in the dirt

    i can't stop laughing over this for some reason.

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  12. Benediction...the more generic...the more I like them.

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  13. Is that really his purple AMC Javelin? Fucking sweet. I hope he drives around in that thing listening to Blue Öyster Cult's 'Secret Treaties' on his 8-track player.

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  14. After Death featuring Mike Browning will play the full "The Key" album during their upcoming Eurotour.

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  15. Wow, the full "The Key" album? That's exactly what no one has been asking them to do for ages! It's just like when Queensryche played Operation Mindcrime in one go, or Manowar playing all their albums in a row. way to give the fans what they want Mike!

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  16. Zachary, I'd love to know what kind of carpets you and your boyfriends are rolling around on??? I'm sure they far surpass all others!!!

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