Last week James Hetfield, the skater teen, turned middle-aged redneck, made some statements about "Enter Sandman" being used to torture prisoners in Guantamo Bay. He said "Part of me is proud is because they chose Metallica". Uhm... James, what the military is basically telling you is that your music is SO BAD, playing it to prisoners being tortured is a good idea. Do you get it? Listening to Metallica is torture! "Enter Sandman" is such a bad song that prisoners would rather be water boarded than put up with 5 more seconds of that shit. I guess this guy Mohammed al-Qahtani said that listening to the track while being tortured brought him to tears. No joke. This guy actually cried when he heard Metallica! Shit, I have never cried while listening to Enter Sandman, but I have cried during The Unforgiven. That song is fucking terrible. James "Jed Clampett" Hetfield went on to say that he thought maybe the torture technique worked, not because Metallica's music sucked, but because "It represents something that [terrorists] don't like — maybe freedom, aggression…" Hello?! Earth calling James! These people are accused of being terrorists, "aggression" is sorta part of the job!
In any case, I'm glad the US of A is still kicking terrorists' asses the best way they know how. (please add sarcastic tone to the last sentence.) The one thing I'd suggest to the brave soilders in Cuba doing all that torturing is that next time they should just use songs from St. Anger. Shit, if they had me tied down and threaten to play the whole CD, I'd confess to some shit. I'd make up stuff just to get them to push the stop button.
Hmmm...come to think of it, St. Anger, Load and Re-load are probably on a list in the Geneva Protocol, forbidding countries from using them as torture. I wonder how long it's gonna take them to add Death Magnetic to the list. It's that bad, believe me.
Long gone are the days of bullet belts, cheap beer, Venom shirts, skateboards, awesome riffs, intelligence and common sense.
Well, James "Cowardly Lion" Hetfield finished his eloquent statement with: "We've got nothing to do with this and we're trying to be as apolitical as possible." I guess "Disposable Heroes", "And Justice for All" and the whole "Don't Tread on Me" thing is not very political? Metallica stopped being "political" around the same time they stopped being metal.