Where is the double bass on the drums: Vintage Roadrunner hate mail

Some posts just write themselves, like yesterday's on Stuff You Will Hate about BOSS' Crabcore pedal. Such is also the case with this collection of "interesting" letters received by Roadrunner about 5 years ago and passed on to us by a secret source that we will simply call "Green Rage." Please thank him/her and enjoy this rare treat!

Click on any of the images to see a full-size version that you can actually read.


This fucking dipshit is an asshole of the highest order, but what's much worse is that he's not funny. In this letter he pretends to think there is a defect with the CD they sent him FOR FREE and says the singer for Cradle of Filth sounds like a girl. Here is how I would probably react: Har har, real funny, you sure taught me a lesson about how lame I am for sending free stuff to people like you. You couldn't just silently throw it away like everyone else who doesn't like it, you had to rub it in my face. Your time is clearly priceless, other than the hours you spent writing this letter and patting yourself on the back for being so clever. How about this you motherfucker, I know where your fucking kids go to school and they get out in 10 minutes- think you can get there faster than I can? Why aren't you laughing anymore??



In this letter, some gimp/mongo begs Roadrunner to send him a Slipknot CD out of pity for his disability. True to form for someone who is asking for a handout, he is not only asking for a favor but has very specific demands regarding how the favor should be done: "CDS LPS ONLY NO SINGLES. IF 2 VERSIONS SEND EXPLICIT LYRIC VERSION. IF ONLY ONE VERSION SEND IT." It's kind of like when I told Olga Kurylenko she should pity-fuck me after the ATM ate my debit card, then said "MISSIONARY/REVERSE COWGIRL ONLY NO HANDJOBS. IF 2 ORIFICES USE BUTTHOLE. IF ONLY ONE ORIFICE USE IT."


If you ever did a zine, traded tapes, or otherwise corresponded with Euros by mail in the 80s/90s, this letter will sound all too familiar. Some German weirdo is pitching them on the idea of opening some Roadrunner stores in Europe. But that's not all! He adds that "When a Roadrunner Band is on Tour or the Roadrunner Roadrage Tour is across Europe this Band or Bands make a Autographbreak on the Local Roadrunner Store so Fans can get closer to their Idols." It sounds to me like he has fully considered this idea and I cannot imagine why Roadrunner did not jump at the chance to immediately engage him as VP Retail Development, Roadrunner Europe. Then he could give the gimp from above a job and kill two birds with one stone!


Now this letter is refreshing! He's not being a dickbag whiner, asking for free shit, or an annoying Euro, he's just a Roadrunner fan who is understandably concerned about the direction the label started taking around this time (1995ish). As a diehard Fear Factory and Machine Head devotee, he simply asks "Where is the REALLY heavy stuff? Where is the death metal? Where is the double bass on the drums??" And isn't that what we are all trying to find out during our time here on this planet?? Where *is* the double bass on the drums?


Hoo boy... this reminds me of the insane bullshit that covers the label of Dr. Bronner's soap. The scary part is the complete lack of awareness at play. Any time someone seems to lack a fundamental understanding of reality, it's unnerving because you never know what the fuck they'll do next. They operate on what seems to be their own bizarre logic system that has little or no relationship to the way the world actually works. When Z-level, local metal bands send their godawful demo to Roadrunner it's certainly kind of pathetic, but at least it makes sense: they are in a metal band, and Roadrunner puts out metal records. I always wonder what possesses some weirdo like this fruit to contact a label like Roadrunner, and how they might react if rejected. I imagine this guy is the heir to some insane fortune that his father made selling essence of honeysuckle in the 1920s or whatever, so he doesn't have to work. Instead, he spends his days wandering around, sniffing bicycle seats and park benches. When he gets the news that Roadrunner signed Billy Talent instead of him, he flips out and some poor girl waiting for the bus ends up in a dumpster behind 7-11, fragments of a shattered Dresden Dolls CD jammed into her skull.

Putting out the Disincarnate album alone is enough to atone for Roadrunner's sins of allowing Methods of Mayhem and the nu-Misfits to enter a recording studio

Conclusion
Working in the music industry might sound glamorous, but there's more to the job than the cool stuff you read about in No Glam Fags or The Wild Rag. For every "ZOMG all my dreams are coming true" moment like the time you get to help Donald Tardy wash his 1992 Chevy Luv while he tells you stories about Scott Burns' farts, there's decidedly unglamorous stuff like taking Tom Araya to 8AM Sunday mass with his daughters. We think that getting letters like this make it all worthwhile though, and welcome any other informants like "Green Rage" to share with us!

We don't know anybody at Roadrunner, but if you do, please pass this on to them and ask them to get in touch! There are few labels who have contributed more to metal than they have and we would love to work with them in one way or another. For starters, let's bro down with Mike from Killswitch and talk to him about the rad Devastation "Idolatry" longsleeve he wore when I saw Overcast in 1998.

---

A quick detour through bummer-ville

The best song from Left With Nothing's criminally underrated EP- check out a live version here. They were a rare combo of fun but also super intense and emotional, like Seattle's other ex-Trial/Undertow/Himsa regretcore band Everything Went Black, and I had a lot of fun at their shows.

Sorry to end on such a serious note, but we would like to express our sadness for the recent loss of Brian Redman, formerly of RR band 3 Inches of Blood. I knew him from the Seattle hardcore scene, where he played in Trial and the really-fucking-great-but-unknown Left With Nothing, one of my favorite Seattle hardcore bands. He was funny, friendly, and had a motherfucking INTEGRITY tattoo on his chest- you really can't fuck with that! I wasn't BFFs with him, but many of my Washington friends were and he is dearly missed.

Metal Inquisition guest appearances on X Stuck In The Past X and Hipster Runoff

Metal Inquisition made two appearances on the internets over the weekend. We are thrilled to be part of two of the finest blogs on the planet and contribute to the blogosphere/memescape. One thing I did not think about was the non-compete clause in our contract with Red Flag Media, the parent corporation that owns Metal Inquisition and Decibel. I am a little scared that we will be receiving a threatening phone call from their legal counsel, but oh well... what's done is done, fuck it!

I am Carles. I am a tatbro. I work in a conservative office environment.
Hipster Runoff makes me giggle like a schoolgirl and it is fair to say that HRO is my biggest influence as a writer/blogger/personal brand. If you are an HRO fan you probably noticed that I stole his idea for "Bands To Watch" when I wrote about Corn and Biohazard, and it is likely that I will steal more ideas from HRO in the future. Needless to say, I was beyond thrilled to see my photo on HRO in this post:

Do u think that I can get sued 4 ‘discrimination’ if the IAMCARLES brand doesn’t provide long sleeve products for ‘bros with tat sleeves who need to work in conservative office environments?

Worried abt my brand–might not be ‘universal’ enough.

http://www.iamcarles.com

Read more at Hipster Runoff

***


All she wants to do is mosh
One of my other favorite blogs is X Stuck In The Past X, which is about the strange and wonderful world of 90s hardcore. We were honored to contribute a guest post in which we shared 5 Things I Miss About 90s Hardcore. For example:

2. Backpacks, JNCOs, sweater vests, and other fashion disasters
Sometimes you don't realize how absurd something is until you try to articulate it. For example, a while ago I was trying to explain 90s hardcore fashion to this 23 year-old hipster girl I was dating and the ridiculousness of it all hit me harder than the xbreakdownsx on the Green Rage 7". She listens to electro and Animal Collective so it was a bit hard for her to grasp: "I don't get it," she said, "Why did you guys wear Tommy Hilfiger? I thought you were like punk or whatever. My dad wears that stuff." I did not have a good answer for her, nor could I explain why Kurt Catalyst wore a backpack while onstage singing for Birthright (Catalyst records deserves a while thread of its own; that label's quality control practices are so atrocious it makes Back Ta Basics look like Rick Rubin's hit factory).

Read more at X Stuck In The Past X

Winds of Plague & Terror bring wigger black metalcore to the Bluegrass State

This is what hardcore shows look like in Kentucky.

I somehow found myself in Covington, Kentucky this Sunday for a metalcore show featuring Winds of Plague, Emmure, Terror, All Shall Perish, The Ghost Inside, and some Christian moshcore bands whose names I forget.

"If you smoke near my merch I will karate chop you into a million pieces. Faggot."

Moshcore rednecks don't like the gays
The first thing I noticed was how much people at this show liked to say "faggot." I'm far from the PC police: I love the GG Allin, Meat Shits, Gut, Necro, and all kinds of random goregrind/pornogrind. Even with nearly 20 years of sleazy grindcore under my belt, I have to admit I was kind of shocked to see the word "faggot" twice at this show, and even more shocked that nobody seemed to care.

"God said you're a faggot."

The Mystery Method: it' not just for chicks!
I'm a big fan of the VH1 show The Pickup Artist, in which a douchelord named "Mystery" teaches a bunch of nerds how to become master pickup artists. The methodology they use is called "The Mystery Method," and while it is definitely more than a little ridiculous, it works! I've used it with great success to chat up hot, crazy chicks over the past few months. The basic concepts are simple: you use an opening line (called a "gambit") to break the ice with a group of people (a "set"). From there, you employ a variety of techniques to keep the conversation going and move toward closing the deal. For example, you attempt to gain the upper hand by playfully criticizing the target (called "throwing negs"). You might also DHV (demonstrate higher value) by telling them you have to leave in a minute (an "FTC," false time constraint). You look for IOIs (indicators of interest), and if you don't see them, roll off (stop talking to the set). There are tons of other concepts, but you get the idea.

Mystery compares meeting women to playing the 12th level of a video game without being able to save

Anyway, I've been seeing this girl and things are going well, so I'm turning my attention from chicks to making more friends that are dudes. The great thing about the Mystery Method is that it works with any group of strangers, not just the ladies! For example, I saw a three set of old hardcore dudes standing near me, and deployed my gambit. "Hey," I asked, "you guys look old and tired like me, how late is this show supposed to last?" I took it from there, looking for IOIs and threading to new material accordingly, and before long I had three new friends. Say what you want, but shows aren't just for moshing and scamming on dumb scene girls- you can actually make friends there too!

For example, I still remember when Lucho and I met back in 1998 while we were both working the door at a show in Columbus, Ohio. Gene Hoglan's Balls and I met at some show in New Jersey in the 00s, and while I don't remember exactly when, I also met Awakening (the jerk who never posts anymore) at a show in 1997 or 1998.

Speaking of dumb scene girls, though, I ran into the daughter from the mom/daughter combo at the Brokencyde show the other week. I made eye contact with her from across the bar, giving her one of those "shame on you" kind of looks that a school teacher would give you while looking over their glasses. She got really nervous and scurried away.

Merch guy's away message while he sang Ezec's part in "Spit My Rage": Sup? Wah... Gone moshing for Terror. Back before the end of the set!

Terror
I went to this show with my friend from work who knows absolutely nothing about hardcore, but used to live with one of the guys from Terror by coincidence. We asked the merch guy if Doug was around, and he explained that he had just quit the band, got fired from his job at some mail order place, and was working as a doorman at some bar (I'm guessing the Hemlock). I bought a "Suffer to Return Harder" shirt and thought about how awesome it would look on me at the gym.



Scott Vogel was in tremendous form that night, with some great Vogelisms. Two gems: "We are not a rock band. We are not cool. We are fucked up kid just like everyone in this room." "We're all here for the same thing, whether we are black, white, or brown. Dick. Pussy." I also remembered that Scott used to date/fuck my neighbor when I lived in Cleveland about 10 years ago, so I told the merch guy, "Hey, tell Scott that a girl named J**** H******* is here and wants to talk to him." Anyway, they played all my favorite songs like "One With The Underdogs" and "Spit My Rage," and if I wasn't about to go hang out the previously-mentioned girl, I would have moshed my balls off. I didn't want to either get too sweaty or get punched in the mouth or something because that would inhibit my ability to make out.

Amazing lyrics: "Busters fall down when we're barking commands. Atlas ain't got shit on our steez."

Winds of Plague & Emmure
I was hoping to interview Winds of Plague for this post, but the press guy at Century Media blew me off and wouldn't return my calls. Anyway, I left before they played because I was in a hurry to see that hipster hottie. I kinda wanted to see them, but it was getting kinda late, and as much as I like their brand of moshcore... if you saw her you would understand. I finished off the last of my drink and bounced- but hopefully I'll get a chance to catch Winds of Plague this summer.

DISENGORGMENTIFICATION: The Metal Inquisition all-star band

Cover and lyrics (click for full size)

Back in 2003, Lucho Metales and I recorded a few dozen songs at Morrizound Studios. He played drums, I played guitar, and we both did vokills. All of the songs are first takes and written at the same time as we recorded them. Many of the riffs are stolen- the only one I remember is "Firestorm" by Earth Crisis, but I'm sure there are others in there too. In retrospect, some of the song titles and lyrics are still pretty funny, some of them are stupid and not funny.

More lyrics (click for full size)

When you hear the name "Disengorgmentification," your first reaction is to think that we are just a generic death metal band. But that is why we hate labels. Disengorgmentification incorporates a wide variety of influences, specifically Afro-cuban polyrythms, zydeco and fusion, to create a heady pastiche of sonic brutality that maims your eardums at Mach 9 (I stole that part from the sticker on the front of the Unseen Terror LP). Just as Mordred has their roots in thrash, but is much more than a simple thrash band, Disengorgementification is much more than a simple grindcore band.

WELCOME TO THE HELL

Unfortunately for us, it is 2008, and the market for noisecore isn't what it used to be. I am confident that had we released this in 1993, it would have been huge. And by huge, I mean that we would have been flooded with offers from cassette-only labels in Turkmenistan and Ecuador. If we played our cards right, perhaps we could have done a split with Agathocles, Psycho, or perhaps even appeared on a compilation with Paterini and Ulcerous Phlegm. In any case, there is no use in crying over spilled milk. All we can do is share the fruits of our labor with you and hope for the best.

For bonus points, see if you can identify where the samples come from. I am pretty certain we spent much more time finding those than we did actually "writing" or recording the songs.

Download the demo here (Rapidshare)
Click here to see a picture of a naked old lady in a witch costume (NSFW)

Venom's Cronos Explains The Complex Inner Workings Of Their Musical Output, As Well As Metal Audiences

I know it's been said before....but god almighty, how can anyone in the world of black metal take the idiots in Venom seriously? Listening to these guys talk is almost more painful than listening to their music, or looking at pictures of them. Just look at the picture above. Nice roots Mantas, and nice pose also. Does it remind you of someone?


Here's another great shot of the not-so great band. Again, Mantas shows us how comfortable he is with gay imagery. Look at that mustache and sweet leather daddy outfit.






Anyway, on to the video. Please watch the video below and enjoy getting schooled by Cronos.



As grating as Venom band members are, at some point you begin to tune them out. It's like listening to your crazy grandpa talk endlessly. At first he annoys the hell out of you, then you tune him out...and quickly you find yourself asleep. Much like the sound of an air conditioner, a fan, or any other form of white noise, there's a soothing quality to it.

Retroview: Bllleeeeaaauuurrrrgghhh!

I believe in being honest with each other, in telling the truth to on another. And the truth is that back in the early 90s most of us Metal Inquisition staffers were pretty into grindcore, noisecore, and other genres of music other than generic death metal. It's true- I have very eclectic tastes. I mean, I'll listen to anything from Psycho to Jesus Chrust! For someone like me with such varied tastes, the Bllleeeeaaauuurrrrgghhh compilations on Slap-A-Ham Records were crucial. Although there were 3 records in the series, only the first two were really good. By the time the third one came out, the scene had been infiltrated by posers and punk rockers, so the series had pretty much jumped the shark. This isn't an MP3 blog, but since Slap-A-Ham is out of business, here's a link.

Highlights: With over 100 songs to choose from there, are a lot of good ones. But within the context of this blog, the highlights include the sick sewer sludge proto-Devourment stylings of Rottrevore, the only good Agathocles song, the best Infest song, and Impetigo. There are also lots of good bands on here that played really, really sick guttural death metal way before the style was really established, as well as the greats of noisecore like Cacofonia, 7MON and Meatshits. And Sockeye!


Lowlights: There are also dozens of awful songs on here, but fortunately they're no longer than 15 seconds, so the shitty songs are over before you know it. It being a 90s grind comp, it has tracks from Psycho and Agathocles (although, like I said, the Agathocles song is actually good). I also think Assuck is a terrible band and they are on here, featuring Rob Proctor's weak cheat-beat blasts. The Generica song is so bad that even :15 of it is hard to endure.

WTF: One thing I've noticed is that these comps feature a lot of bands who only have one good song, and it appears on these records. I sought out other records by some of these bands based on their songs here only to be very, very disappointed. For example, Splattereah, Suppuration, Dischange, and Rupture (why do all the other Rupture songs sound like crappy Dwarves songs?).

When did grindcore jump the shark?

Just so you know, this is going to be one of those posts where an old guy complains about how things aren't the same anymore and he is scared, confused and angry about it. So if that's not your thing, please close your browser now.

In any case, as far as when grindcore jumped the shark, I'm going to go with 1998. So yes, I am a decade late in writing this, which means I'm old, but we've already established that. But back on topic, 1998 was when bands like Locust introduced the sweet sounds of grind to skinny kids with black hair, and it was all down hill from there.

Grindcore band members then:

When I was a kid, grindcore was for weirdos that, in the words of Chris Dodge, spent most of their time watching porn in their mom's basement and writing angry letters to Maximum Rock N Roll. And that's the way we liked it. Bands like Nuclear Death, Gut, Hemdale, 7 Minutes of Nausea, Meatshits, Malicious Hate and Excruciating Terror were by losers and weirdos for losers and weirdos. Someone in a grindcore band back then was probably a high school dropout with rapist glasses that worked as a drill press operator at a machine shop. Nowadays most people in "grindcore" bands are 19 year olds with MySpace hair.

Grindcore band members now:

I know you can't expect things to stay the same forever, and I wouldn't want them to. For example, it would be a tragedy if Cianide was still a band. But I wish that grindcore had the same kind of gritty, scumbag appeal that it used to. Even stalwarts like Anal Cunt have sold out. Did you know that their albums have had lyrics and music for over a decade now?! What happened to the old days of the 5,643 song 7".

I tell you, it's a sign of the times.

Darkthrone were better when they sounded like early Gorguts

It is well known that I don't like black metal, with the exception of early USBM bands like Havohej, Profanatica, and Von. As far as I am concerned, black metal is for beard metallers and weirdo Scandanavians. And don't even get me started on Hydra Head.

That's why Darkthrone is such a tragedy. Their first album, "Soulside Journey", is a masterpiece of generic, early 90s technical death metal. More than anything else, it reminds me of the first Gorguts album, "Considered Dead." I know all you beard metallers prefer the later Gorguts material where they sound like Dillinger Escape Plan and Human Remains, and that's how I know you're all posers.

Why would a band record an excellent Gorguts/Dismember tribute album like "Soulside Journey" then ruin their reputation by writing "Transylvanian Hunger"? That sounds like a song from the Castlevania: Symphony of the Night soundtrack (which, by the way, is excellent). Which is fine, but it certainly isn't metal.

If you want to confess to us that you are a poser, just leave a comment in which you defend "Transylvanian Hunger" or black metal in general.

Manowar, A Powerful Polarizing Force In The World Of Metal.

Who knew that Manowar could be such a polarizing band? In a way, Manowar expresses many of the world's problems in foreign policy, and the manner in which we fail to understand each other's cultures. In places like Europe and South America Manowar really ARE kings. They play to large audiences and no laughter can be heard when they hit the stage. Only stern faces, throwing the sign of the hammer can be seen in stadiums and arenas. Here in the United States, when I last saw them, all twenty people were laughing when they hit the stage at a club best known for its 80's night. When Joey broke a string during his bass solo ("Sting Of The Bumblebee"), the laughter was louder than the sound of his piccolo bass. How this band can be received so differently in two places is beyond me. If we work together to understand this, and bridge the chasm between us...there is hope for the world. If one day, when visiting Europe I don't laugh outloud when I see ten teenage kids wearing Manowar shirts air guitaring (as I did in Spain once)...there can be hope. For now, I can only imagine that their Manowar cassettes are like tiny time machines. Tiny time machines that take them to a time and place when metal was king. A place where wearing leather pants was okay (see videos below).

The guy in this first video certainly knows who the kings are. Slow start on the video, but boy does it deliver. Fantastic boot-cut leather pants. I'm sure this guy is well loved by his neighbors. Like other videos we've posted in the past, this one is proof that people in certain parts of the world appear to live in another era that the rest of the world is in.



This guy also knows what's up. Again, slow start...but it delivers.



On the other side of the coin we have this young man, voicing his opinion against the kings of metal. The YouTube phenomenon of long winded videos where mildly effeminate teens voice their opinion about random subjects should really be limited to people who have at least some speaking abilities. This kid sounds like he was dropped on his head as a baby multiple times. I know these types of videos can get old, but I couldn't help myself.

Metallica Fans. Then and Now.

At first you really want to make fun of the guys in this video. And that's okay. They seem mildly retarded, sweaty and inbred. But then you think about how they would be way more fun to hang out with than a modern-day Metallica fan. That's when you wish you could take the Nocturnus time machine, go back in time and hang out with these dudes. And while you're traveling through time, make Lars die in the accident rather than Cliff.

Metallica fans today are like this idiot below. He's concerned about how divided the metal scene is. He cares man, he really cares.

Metal Inquisition History Lesson: I Was In The Wild Rags Street Team

Here at Metal Inquisition, our primary goal is to entertain. Another, perhaps secondary goal, is to school today's metal youth in metal history. It's with that spirit in mind that this post was written. School is in suckas.




This seemingly unassuming corner in Montebello California was once upon a time the home of Wild Rags Records, the record label and store run by the infamous Richard C (full name Ricardo Campos). Richard C is without a doubt one of the more polarizing names you can bring up to those who were involved in the underground metal scene in the early 1990's. Widely known as "rip-off" (a now seldom used term common in the days before the internet when tape trading occurred strictly through the mail) Richard and his label continue to be the topic of conversation on the internet, even though the label has not existed in some time, and the man himself has long ago fallen off the face of the earth. A Myspace tribute page is out there, but very little else remains of the once infamous label. Makes you wonder who on earth would even take a minute out of their time to keep the memory of the label who put out records by Zombified Preachers Of Gore alive...but anyway. I keep using the word "infamous" when referring to the man and his label, because I don't know what else to call the label and the bands they put out. "Laughable" could also work I guess...but then again I have the entire Nuclear Death discography on my Ipod...so I can't make fun of the label all that much.

Though Wild Rags started out releasing questionable music (including glam bands like Cherry Street), the label would go on to put out influential releases by the likes of Nuclear Death, Impetigo, Brutality, Blood, Bloodcum, Sigh, as well as Emperor and Internal Bleeding. I also remember them distributing demos by bands like Excrutiating Terror before they became the darlings of the powerviolence scene. Back to Internal Bleeding though...as I write this I have to laugh because I remember having Internal Bleeding's first demo, and thinking to myself "man, they signed to Wild Rags? They're gonna be huge!" Such a thing would only be funny to someone like me, who had the first Internal Bleeding demo back when it first came out. Old timer metal humor I guess.

My limited interaction with Richard C began after I went to a Morbid Angel show in 1991 or so, and received a flyer that talked about how much of a rip off Wild Rags was. Since I was planning on ordering the Impetigo "Faceless" EP that week, I included the flyer along with my order, and asked for his thoughts on the matter. The response I got from Richard was unexpected to say the least. Along with the EP, I got a large box with tons of records, CDs, stickers, tapes and about 50 copies of his publication The Wild Rag. The letter that came along with all this stuff explained how the guy that made the flyer was full of crap, and that he'd appreciate it if I would pass out his flyers, records and magazines at the same shows where the anti-Wild Rags flyers were being passed out. I quickly decided that the last thing I wanted was to get into a confrontation with some stranger at a show regarding a guy in California I had never met. So, I decided to sell the copies of the magazine to fellow metalheads in school (for a buck each) keep the records I liked, and sell the rest at a local record store. For a couple of years the boxes kept coming, and I had a steady supply of free gore and grind records, as well as a few bucks in my pocket. This all seems like ancient history now, but at the time I have to admit that I felt pretty cool being somehow connected to a somewhat legitimate record label. I remember telling kids in school that I was the local rep. for a label, or something like that. Even thinking of it now I cringe...but such is life.

I actually met Richard at the Milwakee Metal Fest one year without even knowing it. I approached him to buy a shirt in the parking lot to the venue, and noticing that he only had Wild Rags merchandise, I asked him if he was Richard. He quickly said "no, I don't know that guy". Later it became clear that it was him, but he didn't really want anyone to know who he was. I'm sure he wanted to avoid getting his face punched in by all the people he had supposedly ripped off...but the allure of thousands of metal fans eager to spend their money on his records and badly screened shirts had made him fly all the way to Milwaukee. Little did I know that angry guys in bands were the least of his problems. More on that in a minute.


After a few years, the packages of free stuff dried up. His zine The Wild Rag became even worse and more laughable than it had been before, and I lost interest. I had completely forgotten about the label and Richard, until fellow metal brother Sergeant D brought up the subject to me about six years ago. I began to tell him about my interaction with Richard C, and as I told him the story I thought to myself "Holy crap, I was in the Wild Rags street team before street teams existed!"

Out of all the stories and accounts of whatever happened to Richard, the only one I seem to think is truthful comes from Pat who played in Hellwitch. I used to trade metal videos with Pat around 1990-1992 and wrote with him a lot. He always struck me as being a nice and upfront guy (he also had unbelievable penmanship by the way, all in cursive...not very metal). In this interview from 2006 he said:

..Ricardo was charged by the U.S. government with crime of income tax evasion and was sent to prison!! Actually, I’m not sure if he was caught, but I know he was wanted for this crime. Some say he fled to his home country of Mexico. The members of Sadistic Intent went to the government auction of Wild Rags’ stock and purchased most of it. They now run a record store in L.A. called Dark Realm, which sells much of Ricardo’s confiscated inventory! Haha! I love telling this story! As we say in America, “What comes around, goes around!”. Ricardo got his!

Okay, now that I have this story out of my system...I promise I'll try to make my future posts funny.

Current Thrash/Crossover Revival = Civil War Reenactments

Just last week, fellow Metal Inquisition staffer Sergeant D wrote an interesting post regarding what to do "when posers like sweet bands". Perhaps I'm an aging idiot, but I didn't know the names of many of the bands that came up in that post, which made me feel great about myself.

Anyway, while reading said post, I began to think about the current crossover and thrash metal revival that appears to be prevalent among today's metal youth. I'm sure that the mere fact that I'm calling this revival "current" means that it has no doubt been going on for years, and I'm only now aware of it. Yes, it's true that my current lifestyle keeps me from knowing what's going on with "the kids" today, but that does not make my opinion any less valid. Like a WWII vet who is full of opinions and gripes, I too wish to speak my mind. I'm no Johnny-come-lately to the world of metal at large. I was in the Wild Rags Records street team damnit! And that's no joke. Don't know Wild Rags? You douche, look it up!

I would rather impale myself on a rusty fence post than go to a show where one of these bands is playing, or listen to their music, I can just tell what it's all about. Based on the picture that Mr. Sergeant D posted of the band Municipal Waste, this genre basically amounts to the metal equivalent of a Civil War Reenactment. Accuracy becomes paramount, but is nevertheless questionable. Oh my, how funny...they wear jean vests just like those older bands did! Oh, how witty! Ha, ha...a bandana? These guys must be crazy! I guess the shows probably function much like reenactments of battles, people wearing period attire, almost channeling a certain persona of the time ("Oh no, I'm supposed to be the guy who stands on the side of the stage in D.R.I.'s 'Live At The Ritz' home video, the one with the Token Entry shirt and shorts"). If someone's going to point out that the guys in these bands are not young posers, but actually old-timers who roadied for Acid Reign, and have unbelievable metal pedigree from back in the day...well, they should at least know better if that's the case. If only based on their age.

Perhaps these young men should try to re-live shows of the past by staging them all over again. Maybe even at the same venue where the original show took place. The reenactments should include cover bands doing the complete sets that would have been played by the bands at that time (if the original band is not available). If some idiot wants to make this happen, just look around for old flyers online, and put on a show based on the coolest flyer and line up you can find. D.R.I. flyers are probably a good place to start. Use the same flyer, only changing the date and you're done. If you look at the flyer below, however, you'll see that things were never as cool back then as you thought they were. Yes, D.R.I. and Sick Of It All would have been rad to see back then (even if Sick Of it All is more of a hardcore band.) but if you want to stay true to the original show, you now have to find someone to play Nasty Savage covers. Oh boy.



Look, originality has never been the strong suit of any subculture. The recycling of previous movements and co-opting certain aspects of them always has been however. Having said that, going back in time and taking a sub-genre such as crossover nearly verbatim due to nostalgia (or for whatever reason) is nauseating to anyone, like myself, who lived through part of the original era. I'm fully aware that these are the ramblings of a man whose time within a certain youth culture has long ago passed him. But I'm completely comfortable with that. Much like the oh-so-popular 80's nights that continue to plague every city in this country to this day, nostalgia reveals the inability that we all have with dealing with the here and now.

By the way, I'm only partially pointing fingers here. I mean, I just recently wrote a post about Nuclear Assault, and the year is 2008. I suppose that I too partially live in the past....but at least I don't wear period costumes while doing it.

What do you do when posers like sweet bands?

Sometimes a good band becomes popular with the wrong crowd through no fault of their own. For example, High On Fire. Nobody could possibly suggest they are anything but 100% legit, but the fact is that most of their fans are posers, and beardos. What's a guy to do?

I know it's stupid, but to be honest it ruins a band for me. Like Carcass. When I was a kid, I loved them. But they have inspired so many awful "melodic death metal" bands (lolololololololz @ melody having a place in death metal!! Who ever heard of such a stupid idea?!) that now I want to borrow Nocturnus' time machine and kill the baby Jeff Walker. It's not their fault, but at the end of the day, they're responsible for their actions and they must pay. Same goes for bands like Dillinger Escape Plan, Sepultura, and Iron Maiden. Especially Iron Maiden. And who would have ever guessed that a genre like crossover could be overrun with posers? But here it is, 2008, and there are more DRI and Cryptic Slaughter dick riders than ever, and they all need to be doused with AIDS pronto.


That's why I like to stick to genres like goregrind and wigger slam, because they're like kryptonite for posers. I mean think about it. No beardo has ever bought a Viral Load or Disconformity record to impress a chick, and they never will. And that's the way it should be.

Exodus' Gary Holt, Thrash Metal Spokesman

This video reminds me of how I felt when I was 13, and every adult was hassling me for wearing my Kreator shirt along with the ill-fitting sweatpants I loved so much.

It's funny to see Gary Holt get hassled pretty much the same way I did back in the day by a guy with a 20 dollar suit and a haircut that his wife gave him. One thing that is a bit odd, is that Gary answers the questions regarding writing songs about satan as though Exodus wrote such lyrics. Gary should simply say "Man, I've been working on some sweet lyrics for a tune I want to call 'Toxic Waltz', check 'em out, they even mention monkeys and insurance"

Used to do the monkey, but now it's not cool
The twist and mash potato are no exception to the rule
So don't be a dunce and dance like a runt
Just throw your elbows with good friendly violent fun
Don't start to cry
If you get a black eye
Just dive back in
And give another try
But too much action
May leave you in traction
So you better get insurance

We can all laugh at Gary Holt for being a bit of an idiot, but we should also think about the fact that in this video, he's sliding into the strike zone and taking one for the team. Team metal.

My thoughts on the scene

The way I see it, we're all in the same scene.. Like maybe you like death metal, and I like grindcore, but there's no reason we can't still be friends even if our musical taste is so different. I mean for example I'll listen to anything from Bolt Thrower to Exit 13. The other day I was just sitting in my room listening to some records, and my roommate was like "Hey what are you listening to, man?" and I told him that I had just been jamming the new Benediction tape, a few tracks off of the Desultory demo, and some Brutality. He was totally blown away and he looked at me like I was crazy, but to me it's not really a big deal to listen to all kinds of different music like that. I mean to me it's all the same, and we're all one big happy (psycho!!) family... so let's start acting like it! I don't care if you have long hair, short hair, if you're black, white, red, or purple- let's just throw up the fuckin horns together!!!