Tuesday, September 23, 2008

You Got Served, metalcore edition

I stumbled upon this one quite some time ago, but just remembered it this afternoon. I believe it is no exaggeration to say that this is an early front runner for the worst band of all time- and needless to say, I think this song is great! Then again, I also love Crazy Town (seriously, I do- ask Gene Hoglan's Balls).

The song is called "Thunderhawk" and it is by some band called Timeless.



Usually I would try to come up with some witty, snarky comments, but, well... watch the video. There's really nothing I can say that would top it!

36 comments:

  1. West Side Story, Step Up, Michael Jackson's Bad, documentaries on lemmings; such a wealth of influences. Moving display of courage from truly special people.

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  2. Metalcore? Doesn't seem like they were trying to nail either genre.

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  3. Good lord..It's like a mongoloid version of all Panteras different periods all rolled up into one. And performed by Fallout Boy.

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  4. i have felt so old in my entire life.
    but i was certainly glad to see that the two moshing factions could still bro down after such intense dancefloor warfare.
    and what the fuck is he saying on that part "thou shalt not go"??? what does that mean?
    and finally, best part of the video: when the guitarist shows off by playing that three note riff with his hand inverted on the neck. great skills there, yngvie.

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  5. i have never felt so old in my entire life.

    well said. when i watched this, i was confused, angry, and scared for my life, all at once. who are these kids?! what are they doing on my lawn?!! where's my remote?!?

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  6. This video is so insanely stupid, I'm holding out hope that this it's just a joke played out by hilarious rich kids.

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  7. i thought the female vocals were a joke. well, they are...but you know what i mean. when i hear bands like this, i just want to shake them and say "what type of music are you playing? identify youreself! who do you work for!"

    their answer to "what type of music are you playing" would be "every single one"

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  8. i still refuse to believe that this is real.

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  9. That was stupendous. I stand and applaud the brave and creative men and women who have made a band and a video that is so post-ironic (look it up) that it has even thrown the great minds (not faint praise) of the Metal Inquisition. This is one of the coolest things ever to happen since S.O.D.

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  10. This is post-ironic in the most terrible of ways.

    Remember when glam rockers got poser-stomped? Dudes with LA Guns patches on their jackets beat these dudes (dudes?) up.

    This is everything wrong with the appropriation of metal culture by non-heshers rolled into one video.

    Eye bleach. Must find...

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  11. I...I just don't understand...I...I mean...but...huh?

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  12. my head fucking hurts now. thanks for nothing, sarg!

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  13. I stand and applaud the brave and creative men and women who have made a band and a video that is so post-ironic (look it up) that it has even thrown the great minds (not faint praise) of the Metal Inquisition.

    i am glad you mentioned this, because initially i thought the same thing. post-irony is kind of my shtick, after all (hence why i sing the praises of crazy town, godsmack, and kid rock). at first, i thought these guys were on the same program, but then i looked at their myspace and their other songs are about pedestrian, old-school memes like pirates. so much for their supposed post-ironic sophistication!

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  14. I am fascinated by how awful this is, not so much in the execution sense (they can play better than a lot of HM bands I consider top of the line) but in terms of aesthetics.

    Is this 'metal' now? I can now envision the future when my grandkids (well, my neighbour's) listen to something called 'metal' and they come to my house for trick or treat or something and I go "oh children, I listened to Heavy Metal as well in my bygone youth, let me play you my Mercyful Fate vinyl. Come, come, children, into my coven" and they'll press play on their nanomaterial bodygrafted transluscent ipod x2000 and the explosive force of suddenly appearing 30.8 surround hovering speakers blasting exactly this sort of metalcorepost will make my old dry skin fly right off my tired skeleton. The last things I will hear will be "18 to 80, your life withers away."

    I envision the terror.

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  15. The worst part of it for me is that it's so anticlimactic.

    I mean, it's incredible cheesiness aside, it could have been rescurd for me if there had been some really sick dancing or some good ultraviolence, but it's so fucking weak .... there are all these lead ups like "Oh shit, now this one dude is going to really serve the other guy!" and he never does .... they just keep looking at each other over and over again nodding like NOW they're really gonna set it off, and then all he does is bounce up and down and spin his arms.

    And the final battle, the Braveheart-style wall of death? NOBODY GETS HIT. What the fuck is that? What is with all this pathetic airfighting? Are they swatting at flies? There are people right in front of you—FUCKING HIT THEM.

    What is this world coming to.

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  16. Why are they in a Pantene ad on their myspace? is that a joke? I can't figure this shit out...that video looks like it cost at least $10000 thou...

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  17. You know, my first reaction was something like "aw, be nice to them. They're clearly being ironic."

    Then that guy started singing.

    Then the chorus happened.

    Then I shit myself with rage at/embarrassment for humanity.

    The worst/best/worst thing is that I guarantee you this band has a rabid following of kids who would literally kill us all for making fun of them.

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  18. You have no idea how much I hate myself for this, but didn't Alexisonfire already make this video?

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  19. calling this post-ironic is your self-delusion mechanism at work, fossils (myself included). i can't shake the feeling that this is for real. if for no other reason than that the kids look too young and stupid to dabble in post-irony. the vocalist wears a suicide silence T, too.

    this is where it's at, oldtimers, welcome to the future.

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  20. Reminds me of the breakfight scenes in Beat Street or Breakin',if I was in that pit I'd stab someone with my keys!!!!

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  21. It looks like a freeking commercial. I was seriously expecting to see the Levi's or Dr. Pepper logo to appear at the end.

    Can you say "Hollywood Record Producer"?

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  22. I like some metalcore bands but that was absolutely terrible from the riffs to the vocals to their pathetic attempts at trying to do a "Michael Jackson's Beat It" reenactment.

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  23. I have been reading this blog daily for a year now, but never before have I felt compelled to comment before. The video I just viewed was so horrendous I am now tempted to regurgitate violently into the gaping mouth of an invalid. The singer sounds like he just finished the first 10 minutes of the Melissa Cross screaming instructional dvd and decided to give it a go. I hope he is beaten and sodomized unmercifully by an angry mob of ironic beard sporting Hydra Head alumni. There is no excuse for this wretched pile of garbage they are calling a band. I would much rather have my nipples twisted while getting teabagged by an AIDS patient (which is something I am also wishing upon every member of Timeless along with their respected loved ones) than ever again be forced to listen to such mindless, meaningless drivel. Blecccccchhhhhh.

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  24. I actually played it three times just to be sure it exists.

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  25. "Wiggerish arm movements" - that tag never fails to just slay me dead.

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  26. their "gang back-ups" remind me of Nitro shouting O.F.R.

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  27. god damn..I'd rather have been exposed to anthrax or biochemicals than be exposed to that shit. now who is gonna foot my hospital bill and treatments.
    I call two sub genres either mallcore or screamo. also there is what I call "fratcore"...you know douche meathead jocks trying to be the frontman in a hard core band

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  28. oh, come on! I mean, yeah, Dragonforce(or DragonForce if one is feeling frisky. Don't ask why) was hilarious, but this is outright retarded. Is this a video cliff's Notes on how to become a hardcore/metalcore scenester?

    Oh, and mallcorekidsdie, isn't that the requisite for every frontman in every hardcore/crossover band this side of Suicidal Tendencies?

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  29. Unto every generation must come a band so spectacularly shitty, that even mediocre bands look awesome by comparison. Call it the Grim Reaper effect.

    Though I almost think it's a tie between these guys and Blessed By A Broken Heart. Look them up - they're fucking awful too.

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  30. Is this band Christian?

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  31. Holy fuck! If only Don Cornelius had been there. It would've been a screamo "Soul Train". Love the dance-off idea. Skanking...you just don't see that in moshpits anymore. LOL

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  32. cliff--

    This, Blessed by a Broken Heart, and IWrestledABearOnce. Talk about unholy trinity.

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  33. I'm embarrassed, but I actually know these guys. They broke up. It may be for the best.

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  34. nobody has yet commented that their myspace page is filled with product endorsements for Pantene Pro V shampoo. Spectacular. And you were thinking it couldn't get any worse

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  35. Man, how did someone leak the 'outakes' of High School Musical Three's DVD bonus featurettes already!>>DBC<<<

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