Thursday, April 3, 2008

Cemetery Rapist invents "cornfield slam"

We are probably all familiar with the term "wigger," and I will not invite controversy by explaining it here. But what you do not hear so much about is "wignecks," which as you might guess combine the best of wiggers and rednecks. For example they might drive a pickup truck, listen to T-Pain, and chew tobacco while wearing a Metallica shirt and Starter jacket. If you are not from the US, you are probably very confused right now. Don't feel bad, wignecks don't make sense to me either. But they're kind of like chavs, if that helps at all.



In any case, wignecks have largely been absent from the metal scene... until now. Cemetery Rapist is a one-man band that plays "cornfield slam metal", straight out of the fields of Illinois. They are the world's first wigneck slam band. They also operate "Fuck The Ass Records," a splendid record label that I am sure is rivaled only by the likes of Wild Rags in terms of both quality and selection.

With the advent of cornfield slam, I believe the world has officially invented every imaginable genre of music.

Lividity shirt = MENSA membership

15 comments:

  1. And my faith in humanity dips a little lower...

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  2. Is that a George Lynch knock-off guitar? It don't get any redder...

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  3. what's the expression? oh, yeah: welcome to the shallow-end of the gene pool.

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  4. Amazing. This dude should cover Chingy's "Right Thurr" in a "wigger slam" fashion. It'd be perfect.

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  5. Or, no, no... he should cover something by Bubba Sparxxx.

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  6. how does this stuff even get invented? the mind reels

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  7. the answer to that is crystal meth, i believe. that or inbreeding/slight retardation.

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  8. i love this fucking band, so shut up

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  9. CxRx may be a wigneck, but he's the most fucking brutal wigneck I've ever witnessed in my life [seriously, I am not being sarcastic], and his music is actually better than the wigger music made by Waking the Cadaver [no sarcasm there either].

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  10. wigneck?
    shit
    ive hung out with clay more then anybody here,
    And acid was deffinitly a major part of cemetery rapist being formed to what it is today,
    thats an old ass pic too, before he was even really doing any slam.

    he'll bang all your daughters right now.
    by the way,

    its cornfield porno grind not whatever slam metal.

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  11. look at all u haters. I know clay personally and this fucking post is pathetic. Its not a "THEY", its a one man band. And Wigneck is the stupidest shit ive ever hurd. Its not metal, its Pornslam and ur a fucking idiot for making this shitty ass post.

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  12. You people need to quit disrespecting the King of PornoGrind! Clay Lamanske is a cool dude and he composes some sick guttural slam that is too awesome for your little minds to comprehend! Quit hating and labeling what you do not understand! CxRx FxTxAx

    -J.W.

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  13. I know!... Cemetery Rapist is f*ckin' awesome! Whoever started this post must be some emo scene kid that dresses up like a goth girl. Go cry to your mommy! Boo Hoo! Boo Hoo!

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  14. Blood Duster are the true kings of porngrind you fucking dweebs.

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  15. I know I'm late to the party but it's funny how obvious it is that this guy googled himself, found this article and then started pretending to be supporters.

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