Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The Great Kat—Video Roundup


What can I possibly say about the Great Kat that these clips can't say for themselves. The Long Island native (figures) went to Julliard (something that EVERY bio, set of liner notes, or write-up had to remind you of, probably due to strict orders from her managment) and went on to terrorize America's ears with the dumbest shtick ever...playing classical music at high speeds. She's still at it, believe it or not. She even did a nice patriotic video post 9-11, which you can see below. My friend once saw her live and said that all thirty people in attendance were made to go on stage and worship her on their knees for her song "Worship Me Or Die"....ugh. I remember metal dudes saying she was hot stuff back in the day. Oh boy. Maybe the liked awful yellow teeth. They probably thought Lori Bravo was hot stuff too. Much like the Predator vs. Alien argument, which was only settled once the movie was made, the Great Kat vs. Lori Bravo argument is as old as time itself. Sadly, it can only be settled by doing a movie about it...and Hollywood is not taking Kat's calls.

I picture her today, working at a car wash in Long Island, mumbling to herself as she scrubs down a guido's Escalade "worship me or die, worship me or die, worship me or die". She probably cries herself to sleep alot.








18 comments:

  1. The best part of the last video is the Dutch subtitles. What was that, like an early version of the Man Show?

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  2. morton downy junior. i guess you could say that it was an early version. ceratainly prdates it. stern is proabably the early man show. anyway, he was insanely irreverant and kinda nuts. he was known for smoking and blowing it in people's faces...and then he died of cancer. oops.
    check out other clips of his stuff, dude was nutty for sure and was pretty fearless.

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  3. yeah, you know who's fearless? ME! i knew how shitty the videos were gonna be and i still hit PLAY! that is fearless!

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  4. Where's the video you posted yesterday with that boring, stupid, self indulgent Lars Ulrich ranting about the metal scene in 1991?
    I love it. The "1 year and 1/2 in the life of Metallica" VHS is full of these endless monologues of the little danish billionaire...

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  5. Isn't it odd how often virtuosity is used to create mediocrity? Still, her rack is supreme.

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  6. the only way to sort it out between two chicks is mud wrestling.

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  7. Painful.

    And she must be a midget, because every video makes it look like she's playing some kind of joke "jumbo-size" guitar or something.

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  8. i know! i thought those Jackson's were rather small, and yet they look HUGE.

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  9. she'll show those terrorists that they'll never win...

    maybe i was a poser all along, but when i first saw her on tv in '89 i was ready to hang up my high tops and walk into the welcoming arms of REM. low times for suburban metal twerps like myself...

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  10. Anonymous Rating for this Post:

    *** (3 stars)

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  11. r.i.p., morton downey jr.

    also, would, but i like my women trashy.

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  12. Jesus Christ her music is fucking boring. I'd rather listen to a vacuum cleaner for half an hour than more of this shit. I've always thought she looked absolutely horrible, but in that Morton video she ain't half bad. Not even a quarter.

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  13. Weird fact: on one of her albums(I don't own them), there's a song expounding an 80s theme only sometimes tackled in the metal world-fear of Japanese competition. Whatever song this is, it says in the liner notes that Kevin Sharp does guest vocals on it, and I do remember the person telling me this that it was Kevin Sharp from Brutal Truth. I haven't looked into it since.

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  16. Its pointless to rag on Kat because she is obviously an utter maniac. Like, she probably could get diagnosed as one. Anyway, she scored some brownie points on the talk show if you ask me. what a nutter!

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