Monday, October 20, 2008

How to invest during times of economic uncertainity





Though widely criticized for being an inaccurate index of the market (since it takes only 30 stocks into account), the Dow Jones has in fact performed very much in line with broader U.S. markets.



As the world struggles through the current economic crisis, Metal Inquisition financial analyst Devesh Bharadwaj takes a closer look at lesser known investment opportunities that may be tempting to metal fans. Is investing in metal a sound choice during these unstable times? Read on to find out.




Avenge Sevenfold autographs make guitar actually be worth less than retail price.



While doing a search on the world wide interweb for used axes as a potential investment, I came across this Schecter Omen guitar. I know what you're saying, Schecter guitars are not exactly the most metal guitars ever (here at M.I. we endorse Jackson of course) but put that aside for just a second. The Craigslist post I found was for a brand new guitar, one that normally retails for $300 and has a list price (MSRP) of $499, selling for only $250. Why so little? The mere fact that it's autographed by the band Avenge Sevenfold makes it actually be worth LESS than retail. Is this drop in price merely a sign of the worldwide economic collapse? Perhaps. Be careful in whose autograph you invest.





Also included in the post is another guitar signed by the band Seether, but they are even less metal than Avenge Sevenfold so I wont even mention them, even though I think its funny that Wikipedia refers to them as a "South African post-grunge band". I had to look them up to see if they were worth mentioning. Man, wouldn't you be bummed if you were in a band and your autograph made things actually decrease in value? It's like having the opposite of the Midas touch, everything you touch turns into complete and utter shit.


Metallica autographs make a horrible guitar worth way too much.


In sharp contrast, a Squire guitar autographed by Metallica is selling for a steep $2,372. How they came up with that number, I have no idea, but that's an incredible increase from its retail price of $169. I don't know why on earth you'd get Metallica to sign a strat, much less a Squire strat, not even a Mexican Fender! Apparently, Metallica's autographs are the only recession proof signatures you can have. Forget stocks, hedge funds or anything else...the way to go is Metallica autographs! Buy, buy, buy!


Gwar "slave" autographs guitar. Price of guitar drops immediately.




Perhaps Metallica is not your cup of tea (and who could blame you), maybe Gwar is more up your alley, and you'd like to invest on something you actually enjoy. Well, you're in luck. What about an autographed BC Rich "Bich" model guitar? It's not signed by a member of the band Gwar though. Oh no. The guitar is signed by a Gwar "slave" (aka roadie). In this case, the nearly new guitar drops in price from $399 retail to $250. At least in this case, the seller (who is the Gwar roadie) is nice enough to give the buyer the ability to choose if they want the autograph on the guitar or not. He writes "*GWAR SLAVE AUTOGRAPH IS OPTIONAL.."


Obituary and Dream Theater drummers sign drumsticks. Price of drumsticks drops. I think.

Note that the Donald Tardy drumstick is dirty. That's because I used briefly it as a stake to hold down some string while doing yard work a few years back.

The bad news about the price of metal autographs not only dropping, but hindering the value of the very items the autographs are on made me worry about my own investments. How has the current crisis affected my Donald Tardy and Mike Portnoy signed drumsticks? I had no way of knowing since my calls to Lehman Brothers went unanswered. Having no other place to turn, I simply asked my wife. I asked her "If I sell these drumsticks in a garage sale, how much do you think I could get for them?", her response was brief "How should I know? Fifty cents maybe? Why are you asking me?". That's all the research I needed. They were now worth worth less than when they were new. I was crushed.

Where does that leave me? Maybe I should look into other autographs as possible investment opportunities during these unstable times. Maybe autographed ticket stubs by the likes of Deeds Of Flesh or Suffocation is the way to go? This guy seems to gave just about any autograph you are looking for. Then again, perhaps I should look into some Lars Ulrich signed drumsticks as a safer investment. After all, you're supposed to buy low, and sell high right? I think anytime after And Justice For All could be safely considered a "low" for Metallica....but will there ever be another "high" in their future? Damn. Maybe there's no safe investments after all.

41 comments:

  1. I wonder how much an as sold in "Some Kind of Monster" painting goes for but I don't really care enough to research it.

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  2. to what i'm guessing will be nobody's surprise, i love Avenged Sevenfold.

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  3. Schecter Guitars... you know, despite the fact that those fools (the Avenged Sevenfold guys; sorry Sergeant) use the most awful color/finish for their guitars, they are actually surprisingly comfortable, even the ones with the gigantic neck contour.

    Own two of those(C-1 ATX and Tempest Blackjack), since they actually bother to have some decent guitars that don't fall in either extremes of the money spectrum(budget or eye-gouging) for left-handed people.

    Oh, and just to slight something out of the way... fuck Jackson!

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  4. It's all about the ibanez SA series, finest & cheapest guitar ever, I haven't broken a single string in a whole 2 years!
    that's quality work there.

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  5. a7x? I hope you're kidding sergeant d, is the the d for dim? lol j/k
    i hate trivium & bullet for my valentine as well, they could be playing with steve vai's most expensive gear, they are a freakin brain enema. Those poor kids will 'wall of death' to anything these days.... sigh

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  6. i only buy my guitars from those *Esteban* infomercials!

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  7. i am not joking at all, i love a7x. but i also love crazytown, cold, disturbed, and korn, so you should frame your reaction accordingly.

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  8. I never had a guitar autographed, but I did have a CD signed - without asking for it. Years ago Napalm Death was here on the Utopia Banished tour. Mitch Harris was selling Meathook Seed cd's a couple of months before they were going retail. Never heard them..didn't care at the time either - I mean, Mitch Harris plus Obituary guys..how bad could it be? I bought one for $10 and before he gave it to me, he opened up the case and signed the cover?!? My reaction was kinda like...what the fuck? I almost asked for a new one but chickened out.

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  9. Regarding the guy that is selling all the autograph crap on Craiglist - how awesome is it that in the middle of all the metal bads you see "GALLAGHER (comedian) $10". Is Gallagher even still alive?

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  10. oh damn, i missed the gallagher thing. he's still alive, but has cancer or something. he also sued his brother at some point, stemming from the time that he franchised his act to him and let him be Gallagher B, and play small comedy clubs while he toured theaters.

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  11. A7X Eternal SoldiersApril 18, 2010 at 6:25 AM

    BTW Moron you spell Avenged Sevenfold with a D on the end. Don't disrestpect the best band that ever existed!!! I think this little article shall be put out for all to see just incase some of the other Die hard A7X fans have a few comments for your rediculous observations...try something besides craigs list for your source material next time. Furthermore somethings have sentimental value which has no price. A7X 4 life!!!

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  12. To A7X Eternal Soldiers: I love you guys! And I totally agree, who cares how much the guitar is worth, the crazed fan who buys it wont care. I love avenged sevenfold and would freaking die for that guitar! also what exactly was the point of this article, have you nothing better to do in your lame life then to trash a great band? Everyone has their own opinion of what good music is so why talk crap?

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  13. A7x Eternal Soldier Mea-MeaApril 18, 2010 at 8:15 AM

    Who cares what the signed stuff is worth? If you love Dream Theater, you're going to buy those drum sticks whether they cost you a fortune or a penny. Because you love that band. And for my fellow Sevenfold fans, who love A7x, we would die for a chance to own a signed guitar. Not everyone is trying to buy guitars for the sake of selling them for a profit later. Some of us may hold sentimental value to that guitar than others who are trying to make a quick dollar.

    If I got my hands on ANY of those guitars or drumsticks, you'd better believe I wouldn't be selling them, Metallica or A7x.

    My point is that all of these artists are damn awesome at what they do. And each of us loves one of the aforementioned bands more than the other.

    There is no need to site a week source, and bash on those bands because of what their signed stuff is worth. Especially Avenged Sevenfold.

    P.S. Since this is a time of "economic uncertainty" as it was put, how many of us can currently afford to invest in guitars right now? Just a thought.

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  14. The person that made this can go fucking burn in hell! A7X is the best fucking band ever! And Syn is the best fucking guitarist ever!

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  15. I love how these people dont even know what their fucking talking about, A7X is the most amazing band ever! Just goes to show how fucking stupid and ignorant people can be. A7X foREVer!

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  16. ha.hahaha.ha. ok. yeah.
    you act like it dropping 50 bucks is a huge deal.
    a7x may not be the MOST popular band in the world, but its the most popular to many many people.
    youre absolutly wrong.
    and avenged sevenfold is the best band to ever come on this earth,

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  17. i hope syn beats this dudes ass. syns autograph is worth more than your life, what a fucking prick. it's assholes like you, that have no idea wtf they are talking about, that ruin what metal is. GO FUCK YOURSELF DUDE!

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  18. You must not know what good music is. Don't disrepect A7X at all!! Oh, & by the way fucking learn how to spell AvengeD Sevenfold. You must be a pathetic person to have all these negative thoughts about all these great bands. Grow up!

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  19. dude the a7x custom guitars are some of the most badass guitars ive ever seen, syns rebel flag and american flag guitars plus his custom pinstripe guitar kicks ass so do zaky v's custom and they have the one of the best guitar sounds so fuck you.

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  20. Yeah Who Ever Wrote That About Avenged Sevenfold you Can SUCK DICK because they rock and just because its not the type of music your into does not mean you can just bash them they are working their asses of and you need to respect them for that also who gives two fucks about what type of guitar they use i mean come on its better than sitting on your ass talking shit at least they do something but you know what it doesnt even matter because i bet they got more bank than you anyways so i dont matter and i bet if they read your little article they are probably pissing themselves laughing

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  21. This guy knows nothing about good metal and good metal guitars!!! A7X is one of the all time best metal bands and their autographs are worth more then he'll ever be worth! Also Metallica and Mike Portnoy are the shit too! and that guy needs to learn how to spell! he spelled Avenged Sevenfold wrong! what a fucking dumb ass!!

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  22. Hi. I'm a A7X eternal soldier and I have come here today to tell you that you deserve to go suck a dick and choke on it. Who would use craigslist as a reliable source anyway. Avenged sevenfold dream theater and metallica are way to good for you to decide if they are worth anything.

    P.s. M.shadows (the frontman of A7X) is a very big buff guy. If he saw this he could rip you a new one if he was offended enough.the same is said for metallics and mike portnoy. Think about what you say you pathetic good for nothin fag. Go choke on a huge cock

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  23. DOUCHEBAG!!! Duh!!! LOL I'd like to think that most people aren't dumb enough to belive your LOSER opinion. We all know what's up!!! Avenged Sevenfold foREVer!!! ^O^ Music is the MOST AMAZING thing in the world and some people actually respect it then there are the losers like you who just want to bring everyone down to your level...we aren't stupid. Nice try but guess you will have to find something else to do/bitch about, cuz we don't care what you say or think...doesn't matter at all!!!

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  24. HEY!! just because they signed it dont mean it should be worth less! it should be worth even more! so dont write an article on what you dont know

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  25. Let me start off by saying I love Avenged Sevenfold but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. (I also love Metallica!!) If you dont like them, oh well, but thats no reason to trash on them the way you did! These guys have major talent whether you like them or not. I know people who like them and people who dont. Some people dont like them cause they say they look emo but they cant deny the fact that they have talent. So next time you should think twice before you talk and maybe the guitar is selling at a cheaper price because they bought the guitar before it got signed at a cheaper price so they might still be making a profit....did you think of that??

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  26. I hate Metal Inquisition now :) You guys are insulting Avenged Sevenfold and anyone who is such an ass to do that I have a problem with. I honestly love most of the other bands you mention too, but it is just low you have to cut down a band you don't like. By the way, try spelling the band name RIGHT if you're going to insult it. AVENGED SEVENFOLD.

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  27. WOW fucking dumbass...its funny how you can be so pitiful. For one, you clearly have no taste in music, and two, if you don't even know how to spell Avenged Sevenfold correctly, you must not have the mental capacity to listen to their music.

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  28. You apparently have no life if you are insulting a truly amazing band like Avenged Sevenfold. Not only do they have a loyaly fan base but if an article has to do with Avenged Sevenfold they will obviously read it. I have an autographed photo of A7X and I know for a fact if I were to sell it(which I NEVER WILL) I could get plenty for it because the sentimental value is much more than how much in retail you pay. Avenged Sevenfold for life!

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  29. I agree with Caveman. GO SUCK A DICK AND CHOKE ON IT, BITCHES!

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  30. i agree with Caveman. GO SUCK A DICK AND CHOKE ON IT, BITCHES!!!!!!!

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  31. whoa what the fuck. first of all learn how to spell AVENGED SEVENFOLD. and second, you are a fucking DUMB ASS. A7X is the best band out there hands down. and even if you dont think so, dont go writing shit like that about them. lies, fucking LIES!!!!!!!!!!

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  32. That shit is fucking priceless to us. AvengeD Sevenfold is THE best band in the universe and and has THE best fans. We think of them and all of us as family. So yeah. Go suck somethin.

    foREVer

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  33. Wow! You must think you are so cool to insult avenge sevenfold. YOU ARE A DUMBASS! IT's AVENGED SEVENFOLD! how bout you try getting their name right before you go trying to bash on the best band in the world. Also, that guitar is worth way more, you just have crap sources. I bet you have your head stuck up your ass too far to realize what you are even saying

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  34. you are a complete idiot and you should probably go hold your head under water and not bring it up A7X is the best band to be born ans syn is the best guitarist to walk this earth so go fuck yourself you piece of shit

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  35. wow. you should really not talk so much shit about a band that has a family as big as ours. we stand up for avengeD sevenfold. we love them, and they love us.
    we got their back, and they have ours.
    don't run your mouth; those "worth less" signed guitars are worth MORE than your life put together.
    get your facts straight, man.
    i hope you land on the biggest dick and choke on it.
    seriously.
    i love you my a7x family, foREVer.
    <3

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  36. 1. Avenged Sevenfold is bad ass!!!!
    2. It's AvengeD Sevenfold you idiots!
    3. This article is pointless and biased. Nobody cares!!!
    And 4. Avenged Sevenfold is an amazing band, you just had to dawg on them huh??? Jealous much???

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  37. Man, there are a shitload of butthurt faggits up in this post. "Oooh, you don't like A7X! You suck!" At least D doesn't give a shit if anyone likes the same bands as he does.

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  38. Ok... honestly... i agree with the people saying A7X is a great band with amazing talent.. just because people can afford to bid highly on a guitar doesnt mean that its deminishing in value... it means that people understand SENTIMENTAL value...

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  39. Gary M. (A7X FOR LIFE)April 20, 2010 at 4:43 AM

    well im not sure exactly y people r hating on the best band in the world (Avenged Sevenfold)but they need to quit there shit!! yea so wat if its worth less than the normal price instead of being so much more than the original price cuz to all of us a7x fans we dnt care how much it costs and like everyone has said if i get my hands on something signed by them im never giving it up i would die jus to see them live and to get something signed by them would be amazing as shit so to all u haters fuck you and Avenged Sevenfold we love you!

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  40. its Avenged Sevenfold not avenge sevenfold you fuckers..you sound worse than you already are..i cant believe you can just diss bands like that..getting a signature from someone you admire is special..doesnt matter how shit it makes the object they sign it on look..hahaha you seriously suck cock..this article is dried up vomit in a trash can

    go fuck yourselves

    A7X RULESS

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