Wednesday, October 22, 2008

More Metal Tattoos From The Interweb

Thanks to the magic of search engines and the internet, we once again take you for a spin around the world of metal tattoos. Hold on tight, it's going to be a depressing and bumpy ride.



1. The line-up of bands on his leg is enough to make you gag.
2. The guy's disgusting hairy leg and crotch shot are enough to make you barf.
3. The fact that the guy is married (see wedding band) is enough to make you loose all hope and respect for women.



How many of you were surprised that the asshole who has this tattoo is wearing white hi-tops, and white ankle socks. Anyone? No? Good. I wasn't either.




This picture is proof that men are not only idiots, but also gross. Look at that disgusting armpit hair, or whatever body part that is. I've never felt so hetero in my life.




The Sarge and I saw Fear Factory some years ago in what was basically a midwestern parking lot. They played a Pantera song, and we both got the douche chills. This is the kind of tattoo that the dude who has it would show to the band members with great pride. The band members would then go "uh....wow...really? Sheesh. Wow."




Look, I know that the guy's dead and everything. It's sad, wah, wah, wah...but how big of a douche do you have to be to get this on your arm? I can just picture the guy getting it constantly reminding the tattoo dude "remember to make the goatee red, it's very important. I'm a huge fan of how he looked during the Far Beyond Driven years!"



This guy is my hero. I'm not being ironic. He's rad.




Late addition, suggested by a reader in the comments section. I don't even know where to start! The awful rendering with the fu-manchu mustache, the hat, the goatee, the pimples on Dimebag's forehead....oh and did I mention the Heavy Metal logo?


Who is the only person dumber than Max Cavalera? The guy who gets a tattoo of Max Cavalera.



Now this, my friends, is commitment. I would love to meet this guy and tell him "I'm a real Queensryche fan, not like you" just to watch his blood boil and his head blow up.





Any readers out there have band-related ink? Tell the truth, I know there's at least one Napalm Death or a Nasty Savage tattoo out there somewhere.

27 comments:

  1. the kids love ironic food tattoos these days

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  2. That horrible dimebag etc tattoo...says much about the average I.Q. of groove metal listeners.

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  3. no metal band tats for me... love the silliness on the web nowadays.

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  4. Fear Factory actually had a competition on their web page/blog thing about 3 albums ago to see who could get the "best" FF tattoo...

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  5. and there was a "winner" for that competition?

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  6. Probably. To be honest I got bored with the whole "score more points by doing more stupid things to prove you're a bigger fan than anyone else in the world" nonsense and stopped checking the website.

    Doubtless there's some fuckwit with one or other the the band's logos tattooed across his face and a free t-shirt to show for it.

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  7. "I would love to meet this guy and tell him "I'm a real Queensryche fan, not like you" just to watch his blood boil and his head blow up"

    my wife just came into the room to see if i was o.k. because i was laughing so hard that i could barely breathe.

    my band tattoos are of the punk rock variety instead of metal but my brother actually has a tattoo of a skull wearing a hat with a flipped up bill that says "suicidal" so he is pretty much the most amazing dude ever.

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  8. i technically have the cover of Coroner's Punishment for Decadence in just black ink on my arm...but that was 10 years ago, the black is now "green", and i didn't put the word "Coroner" anywhere near it.

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  9. I wish I were the man with the Nasty Savage tattoo but sadly I'm not hard enough to be needled.

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  10. Did you think that Dimmebag tattoo was bad? Look at this one:
    http://www.joegrossberg.com/archives/001961.html

    I'm glad I didn't fall into tattoo mania when I was younger. Even if I had a cool tattoo I'd feel a douchebag. There's nothing worse than a guy older than 30 with a new tattoo.

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  11. I remember I saw Pantera in 1993 and at some point Anselmo stopped the concert to film a guy's arm next to his, cause the guy had exactly the same tattoos as he did. We all thought that they were going to add that in some new video, but I think that never happened...

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  12. that first dude can't be married. he's only wearing the ring to attract the ladies, as he heard the ladies like guys that are taken, since that means that they're "good".

    that dimebag tatt looks like a rocket-fueled zombie head lifting off into space. fucking ridiculous!

    and nick: having "coroner" written on your body could've confused people. might as well say "surgeon general" or "podiatrist".

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  13. OK, I'll bite, the band tattoos I have are..

    Misfits skull, DRI skanker, C.O.C Nuclear skull, Motorhead skull, biohazard logo and 2 Black Flag bars.

    I'm pretty much sleeved, so they blend into everything else pretty well, but they're there.

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  14. "The fact that the guy is married (see wedding band) is enough to make you loose all hope and respect for women."

    I was at the drugstore one day last summer & this dude in front of me was buying something when all of a sudden the girl at the register stops & says "Is that a Poison tattoo?".

    The dude proudly rolls up his sleeve revealing his bright green Poison logo tattoo & says "yep, they're my favorite band, I go & see them a few times every year".

    She swooned, "oh, that's SO cooool! I LOVE Bret Michaels!". I refrained from vomiting until I left the store.

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  15. The armpit hair thing aside (who gets tattoos on the inside of their arms?), that Sepultura tattoo is cool because A. it is well done and looks nice and B. it is the old logo that they used when they were cool and seemingly abandoned when they sucked. Or at least i think so, haven't bothered with those guys in over a decade.

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  16. I had always wanted to get the Misfits and/or Samhain (later Danzig) skulls tattoo'd but something also always told me it'd become cliche and Glenn would suck dick.

    Truth told though, I'd still get the Black Flag bars. Rollins alone does not a band make thankfully.

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  17. The Sepultura tattoo looks fucking horrendous. Why take a photo of that scabby shit? Dude was obviously so proud of it he had to show the internet right away. As for that logo representing Sepultura in a time of win, they started being ass on the b-side of Beneath the remains, sucked ten types of ass through Arise and were chock full of win on the a-side of Chaos AD so I'm not really buying that sentiment to be honest. Having said that, I really wanted the same tattoo back in the nineties.

    I have some band and music related tattoos, some more obvious than others. At least I managed to get a Black Flag piece that isn't the bars.

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  18. I know its an oldie but its still a goodie!

    http://blogs.bellinghamherald.com/gobham/media/blogs/a/crises.jpg

    Guessing salt lake city!

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  19. Talk about commitment...damn. Nice manicured eyebrows too there Nancy.
    I too am guilty...Sick of it All striker that seemed like a really rad idea circa 1990. Now not so much..."hey is that the same tattoo Angelina Jolie has?"

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  20. The add I got from the Metal Observer when I clicked on the Meat Shits link "Prejudice - Find Prejudices at Great Prices - pronto.com". Awesome...

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  21. I just noticed the Dimebag tattoo features "Darrell" wearing a Damageplan cap, which, improbably, makes that tattoo EVEN GAYER!

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  22. As seen at Iron Maiden's last MSG show.

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3099/2584568492_5c75630b3d_b.jpg

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  23. I have a Machine Head tattoo :P

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  24. "As seen at Iron Maiden's last MSG show.

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3099/2584568492_5c75630b3d_b.jpg"

    HOLY CRAP!!! I sat next to that guy at the Metal Masters show at the PNC. I pointed him out to my girlfriend and we were gawking it the whole night. There's more of them too. A really bad Metallica and Megadeth render there somewhere, and a crimson glory tattoo if I'm not mistaken.

    -Seth

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  25. The hero with the "Grill 'Em All" tattoo is none other than Ryan, singer of Sumerian Axe.

    http://www.myspace.com/sumerianaxe

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