Thursday, October 2, 2008

Engrish: It's not just for snack foods!


There are few things funnier than when people from Europe or Asia try to speak English and fail miserably- a phenomenon also known as Engrish. While not all of the MI staffers are US citizens, all of us speak English well enough to enjoy a good laugh at the expense of a foreigner. For years, food packaging was the best source of Engrish laughs, but thanks to the interweb, now metal and Engrish are one. Gorevent, a splendid Japanese wigger slam band, recently updated their profile. The results are below. There are so many amazing turns of phrase I don't even know where to start! Thank you, Gorevent, for combining Engrish and guttural slamming brutality.

Herro!

GOREVENT(Abnormal Exaggeration DROP!!)

Gokucho and Sonobe (ex-REST IN GORE) started a deathmetal unit with Kasahara BRUTAL in Niigata City at the end of the year 2004, it was the very beginning of GOREVENT.

Abe joined the band in 2005 as the first permanent drummer, then GOREVENT got started sick'n brutal activity.

The beginning of the year 2006, Takashi (a.k.a.ILLEGAL ABORTION -Vo.&B.) joined the band as a second vokill vomitter.

In the fall of the year, Abe left the band, Moriyama (ex-TESTICLES VIRUS) joined us as a replacement drummer.

In the middle of February, 2007, Gokucho switched his equipment from a vokill to an axe so as to develop the whole sound ever more brutal.

24 comments:

  1. I also find it funny when Americans try to speak English, so cute.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i like your profile picture! animals wearing people clothes is never not funny!

    ReplyDelete
  3. the reason why asians excel at music is this: they are "units" who commit to quality "activity". no wonder american wigger slam is falling behind.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "vokill vomitter" -i'm in awe! these guys are geniuses.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Describing spectacles as clothes more or less proves my point, I won't even start on the double negative.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Grammar smack in a sentence containing a comma splice?

    ReplyDelete
  7. i'd be willing to bet that GOREVENT's english is better than that of most wigger slam bands from new jersey.

    ReplyDelete
  8. str8ev, that's a probably a good bet! i am guessing that waking the cadaver and NJDOTS are both functionally illiterate.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The girl in the middle is HOT!

    ReplyDelete
  10. pocari sweat is actually delicious. almost as good as apple sidra.

    ReplyDelete
  11. i've never tried pocari sweat, but i did get one of the many rancid pine needle sodas from japan once. it was wretched, as you would imagine.

    ReplyDelete
  12. FIRST

    listen to euro trash up there with his spectacles.

    ReplyDelete
  13. last one to buy abnormal exaggeration is a slam poser....

    ReplyDelete
  14. i am going to download the SHIT out of Abnormal Exaggeration as soon as i can find a damn link! it should be amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  15. The Abhorent Excretionists will be my next permanent Japanese 'nipper-slam' project in the beginning of the year of 2009 with excessive vokills and raging axes.

    ReplyDelete
  16. i am actually going to start a nipper slam band: white guys emulating japanese guys emulating wiggers. it's very postmodern and conceptual, but i think you'll like it!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Wouldn't that be 'wipper-slam'?

    ReplyDelete
  18. That's no chick in the middle, it's Mark Osegueda.

    ReplyDelete
  19. If the world were a just & fair place, every summer there'd be a GoreventFest (because there already is a Gorefest & everyone would get confused). Nothing but wigger slam bands all day one after the other, on two stages at the same time.

    ReplyDelete
  20. How is your economics today? Your banks seem to work fine.

    ReplyDelete
  21. 1. Holy shit, a woman playing slam metal?

    2. Hey two dudes on the right, no wearing the same shirt!

    3. vokill vomits

    the reason why asians excel at music is this: they are "units" who commit to quality "activity". no wonder american wigger slam is falling behind.

    This is true. This is the japanese approach to all things cultural.

    ReplyDelete
  22. For more delicious samples of Engrish read the interviews on Coffins (Jp) homepage: http://www.coffins.jp/press.html their answers range from pretty hilarious to downright indecipherable.

    ReplyDelete