Thursday, July 31, 2008

Best Interview Ever

I've tried to publish this post twice now and each time it deletes what I've written and I'm too lazy to type it all out again, so just watch this interview because it's hilarious and retarded and shot in someone's mom's basement and John Gelso sounds like a girl and looks like Peter Criss. Yet another reason why Black Metal bands should only ever be photographed in black in white and very low light and never inteviewed.

40 comments:

  1. this reminds me of the Kiss interview that they did on Tom Snyder circa 1979. They're almost that upbeat.



    1.
    nice stop sign in the back. i love how his ideas for evil decor are no different than those of an 8 year old...or a TGI Fridays

    2.
    "everything that is white must be desecrated with black fuckin' shit and blood"

    3.
    amazing musical range in the influence department. "old possessed, necrovore and old hellhammer". how can you call that a "mixture"? wow. me personally, i'm the same way. like Sarge D, i listen to anything from old dismember, to old entombed.

    4.
    i love how regarding their make up, he says "we do look pretty sick, obviously"

    5.
    i love how towards the end, they're busy tearing up bibles...oh...amazing.

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  2. My personal favorite moment in the video is when the interviewer asks the band why they wear makeup and Paul Ledney responds: "It's more or less like warpaint. We like to look at it like we're at war with that skinny Jew, Christ."

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  3. Sounds like a mix of David Vincent, Trey Azagthoth and Barney Greenway...and Richard Benson, too.

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  4. Holy shit, band mythology: destroyed in an instant.

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  5. sounds more like a mixture of dumb asses and losers.

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  6. in the "more info" section of the YouTube video it says:

    "No, I will not download the rest of the interview and you know why!"

    Anyone know why? What else could they possibly do that would be more embarrassing? Do they say even more stupid stuff? Does one of them fall off a chair. Does Paul's mom come down to the basement and offer them cookies?

    How much worse could it get? Do they go into a wildly anti-semitic rant? Evan that, for them, would not be a big deal.

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  7. they probably started to beat off on the bibles.

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  8. Wow, what a bunch of idiots! I don't know if I'll ever be able to listen to profanatica again. What's wrong with the idiot on the left? He keeps doing like he's gonna burp, or maybe puke, and the one on the right is like he's remembering a joke that another girl in church told him. He's trying to sound evil with that effeminate voice, but looks more like he's going to start giggling because of the joke.

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  9. the accents more than anything, how can THAT belong to true black metal?

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  10. that's lars ulrich in a wig on the left, right? he's really making progress with the impediment.

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  11. Utter fucking retardation. I too saw the "No, I will not download the rest of the interview and you know why!" line on YouTube and immediately had to ask, "No I don't. Why?" It must be truly classic, whatever the reason.

    The way he keeps blowing his hair out of his face is also just... yeah, well... what can you say?

    Oh, and didn't Hellhammer only exist for like two years? How can you be influenced by "old Hellhammer"? This would suggest that there's such a thing as "late Hellhammer". There's not.

    I so glad I've never heard Profanatica's music before...

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  12. Cja nailed it. A cat I know used to correspond with these guys and get vids of live shows and bootlegs and stuff, including this interview. Needless to say he got the rather unwanted... ummm ... "surprise" of Ledney burpin' his worm on the ol' King James Version.

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  13. So, what I want to know is: is their music as riveting, inspired, and engaging as the interview?

    I haven't listened to them before, and now I know not to bother...unless I'm having another bout of insomnia.

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  14. i knew it was the beating off as i remember reading something about it online... http://www.voicesfromthedarkside.de/interviews/profanatica.htm

    In a PROFANATICA video clip, your bassist masturbated on a holy bible and then you, Paul, licked it off. Can you enlighten us with an explanation of this?

    "(loud laughter)... Well, those guys dared me to. I really just spit on it. It was really no big deal, just another joke. We had brought this video to that trendy Relapse Festival in Rhode Island and showed it to a lot of people, like Jeff from VITAL REMAINS and the INCANTATION guys. I just wanna add here - we're definately not homos! A lot of people think we're gay. We've had more pussy then any other band in the U.S.! And we masturbate on the cross in video and live in front of fans. We do shit on the cross. We stick crosses up our asses and shit them out. We drink cum, urine and blood. We do it for our shows, but we'd do it alone anyway. We believe in perversion and darkness and destroying the deceiver skinny jew bastard fuckin' asshole Christ!!"

    FWIW... imo, their music is actually pretty good and reminds me a lot of Beherit and Ledney's vox are pretty heavy. I can totally see how this vid and other shit could turn someone off to them completely.

    oh... and they still love OLD Hellhammer.

    Gelso (on rt)
    http://bp1.blogger.com/_GwSNIjuuYSs/SGhWUFz7-2I/AAAAAAAABIs/ut2_hW9jgU8/s1600-h/DSCN0806.JPG

    Ledney
    http://bp3.blogger.com/_GwSNIjuuYSs/SGhWTYsMPKI/AAAAAAAABIk/anyw4IM9nDs/s1600-h/DSCN0804.JPG

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  15. Hilarious....
    "we're definitely not homos!"
    That TOTALLY explains the effeminate lisp,cramming foreign objects in their rectums and consumption of man-fluids.
    When you put it like that, it doesn't sound gay at all!

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  16. I almost forgot...the fully nude press photo's presumably taken moments before a bible circlejerk. In full corpsepai...I mean warpaint, no less!!! F-ing hysterical.

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  17. "Old Hellhammer" LOL! Hellhammer existed for around ten minutes and hardly anyone noticed at the time. Now everyone & their mother was "influenced" by them somehow. When "Apocalyptic Raids" came out I was the only person in at least a 100 mile radius that bought the thing. Now it's hailed as this massive influence. What bullshit.

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  18. how are they not following trends? complete ass clowns. unbelievable. hating christ is the most cliche, tired song and dance. and that white fro with clown make up has got to go, on the douche on the far right

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  19. This just makes me love them more.

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  20. Dude..........
    View at your own risk...
    http://usuarios.lycos.es/zmimagenes/upload_files/profanatica.jpg
    Beyond gay...

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  21. I guess this must be Exhibit "C" in the trial against the white race. Case closed.

    Comodesi

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  22. They missed a golden opportunity by (feebly) dismissing the notion that they're all homos. The homosex is total blasphemy, dudes! Embracing the obvious would've earned them considerably more brownie points in the blasphemy department.

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  23. aging gent on hillAugust 1, 2008 at 2:05 AM

    I figured these dudes were retards when I first heard their music eleven years ago. Turns out I was right.

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  24. that pic you posted made me go blind! I think my eyes have just been "desecrated...with black fuckin shit..and blood"

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  25. "No, I will not download the rest of the interview and you know why!"

    I'm guessing Aragon Amori's dad came down and belted him for ripping pages out of his mother's cookbook.

    The part where Gelso grabs the page from Amori is hilarious. He's trying to be grim but instead he's annoying the rest of the band by behaving like a spoilt child starving for attention. Classic

    Nunslaughter back in the early 90's made some of those nude black metal photos as well. The worst/best part is that Hells Headbangers printed that on shirts.

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  26. "more pussy than any other band"?

    in a world where manowar exists, only a complete idiot can make such a claim.

    i also like how they constantly refer to J. C. as "skinny", them being uniformly ripped, of course.

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  27. I always thought that the dude that kept his boxers on was totally selling out on the ideology of the band.

    steven: the music was worthwhile aspects though I don't think you'll be able to stand it now that you've been introduced to the band with that interview.

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  28. Might be a little anticlimactic (HARF) compared to the bible-beating-off, but Ledney also pisses in a glass and drinks it. I know, it sounds like the "HEY MAN OZZY AND ALICE COOPER HAD A GROSS-OUT CONTEST" shit teenagers used to tell each other, but I saw it. I can't unsee it.

    HAVOHEJ RULZ

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  29. chris, you're totally right. in a scene that includes manowar...you have to step aside and let the men do men's work.

    regarding jesus..considering these are guys that are willing to do such...uh...non-straight acts, they should be able to easily identify jesus' body as a swimmers body. toned, almost no body fat. dude could be a model!

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  30. just for the record, i'd like to state that i am a fan of profanatica's music, but this video was just TOO retarded for me not to laugh at. as for hellhammer, i'm more a fan of their mid period work.

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  31. I think we now know who is the one with a small dick in profanatica: "No, no, I'm not going to take my short shorts off!".

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  32. "...they should be able to easily identify jesus' body as a swimmers body. toned, almost no body fat. dude could be a model!"

    This is the best post ever. Oh, man. Amazing. Possibly even better than the Jon Becker series.

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  33. I understand now. The nude photo has totally shed light on why they are so angry at god. I would be too.

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  34. Come on now, dick length jokes to the expense of Profanatica? There's so much more going on here than that!

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  35. Sorry. I couldn't resist...it was there so I took it. When all else fails, dick jokes still crush. Plus...I couldn't think of anything funny to say about their mothers.

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  36. BTW- aversion's got it right. This post was fucking priceless.

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  37. I'm partial to this interview;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWoZwscQThY

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  38. He meant hellhammer NOT celtic frost

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  39. in defense of the band- i remember seeing this on a vhs because tape trading was the way to do it way back in the day if you wanted to be current with underground metal and at the time, although it was cheesy, it was extreme because nobody else beating off on bibles then. fucked up but true and it did add to their legacy. now, it's only corny because things have vastly changed since then. think about how desensitized we are thanks to the internet alone.

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