Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Sacred Cow Barbeque: Kid Rock is better than your favorite metal band
Everyone likes to point out how bad their post-Black album stuff is, but the truth is that their entire catalog is terrible. They were always the weak, watered down thrash band for pussies that couldn't handle Forced Entry, Destruction or Dark Angel. The best thing that ever came out of Metallica was Kid Rock sampling them in "American Badass." I love that song!! Although I am impressed that I still see Midwestern white trash teenagers wearing "Ride the Lightning" shirts and smoking cigarettes with surly looks on their faces.
True black metal
This stuff is terrible!! I will listen to just about anything: I love 311, Fergie, Lil Wayne, Miley Cyrus, and all kinds of other stuff with absolutely no credibility. But even I know that bad is bad is bad. It's popular to trash trendy beardo black metal like Xasthur (and rightly so), but have you ever actually listened to crap like Mayhem, Darkthrone, Dark Funeral, etc? It's unlistenable crap that makes Nuclear Death sound like overproduced top 40. These records are like comic books. I guess to white nerds that grew up in the suburbs it's enticing to put on a Dissection album and pretend you are a frozen ice viking or whatever, but I just don't get it.
I love the first two Gorguts albums where they still sounded like generic Roadrunner death metal. The only thing that could have made them better is that Cryptkeeper guy from the Resurrection album doing intros. But internet metal nerds prefer their later albums where you can tell they listened to a bit too much Human Remains and Dillinger Escape Plan. If I wanted to hear skronky guitar parts and screeching I would listen to hardcore and do guitar flips in my bedroom! This is supposed to be death metal!