Friday, March 7, 2008

Anal Blast - Masters of Subtlety, R.I.P.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but earlier today I was informed that legendary white trash misogynist death/grinders Anal Blast will be embarking on their final tour in the coming week. I know, it hurts. I can barely hold back the tears as I type this, but the world of metal is sometimes capable of bringing us as much sadness as it brings us joy. What will the world be like without the twisted minds that brought us Vaginal Vempire and Battered Bleeding Bitch? Well, it'll probably stay much the same, but I'm sure at least a couple of people will be bummed out.

Apparently Anal Blast is embarking on their final tour because vocalist and mastermind Don "Lord Stomache" Decker is dying from liver failure. Sad news, indeed. We here at Metal Inquisition would like to send Don our best wishes. If we had an extra liver to give, I couldn't think of a more deserving person to give it to than Don. So be sure to show Don and the rest of the Anal Blast boys your support by going out and seeing them on this final tour. The dates are posted on their MySpace page. Check out this killer tour poster:



And don't forget to pick up their "Spraying Blood" live DVD that will only be available on their final tour!



You didn't really expect subtlety from a group of guys that look like this, did you?



I didn't think so.

11 comments:

  1. jesus christ i had no idea they were still a band. i mean, why in the world WOULD they be??

    perhaps their final challenge to themselves would be to write a song that didn't have the word "tampon" in the title.

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  2. oh man. i saw them a few years ago with kalibas at the 31st pub in pgh. so awful.

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  3. these guys make me glad to be a beard metaller...

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  4. And to think I used to shop at Nightfall Records years ago when I lived in the Twin Cities (that's Minneapolis and St. Paul, MN for all you non-Midwesterners).

    And a guy I worked with when I was living there used Anal Blast as proof that Slipnot were a metal band. "After all," he used to say, "the drummer from Skipsnot used to play in Anal Blast," so that gave the band metal credibility I guess. But my co-worker was a fucknut that thought metal emerged fully formed from the womb in 1998 with the shoulda-been-abortions of Korn, Slipsknot, Mudvayne and their ilk. Man I hated that guy.

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  5. That pic makes me think that Fetal Alcohol Syndrome would have been a better band name. Were they trying to do anything in their power to NOT get any tail?

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  6. i guess it IS true that god uses cancer to execute his revenge!

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  7. these guys are basically daring women to get close to them. the one guy in the middle makes trevor peres from obituary look healthy.

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  8. imagine that skull-tattoo guy at a job interview.

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  9. Don Decker summed up the whole Slipknot association debacle rather well in an old interview at Teufel's tomb:

    I've shit on stages, jerked off in front of men, fucked whores with vocal mikes and done every other gay drunk thing that popped into my brain and for this my reward in life is to be compared to fucking gay ass Slipknot. May their asses be filled with the semen of AIDS ridden cocks.

    RIP indeed.

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  10. The red haired dude in front looks like Seth Green

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