Monday, March 3, 2008

Generic death metal: the ultimate cure for insomnia

I'm a workaholic, and I've invested a lot in my job emotionally. It can be really rewarding, but sometimes I can't sleep at night. I stay up tossing and turning for hours, worrying about things I have to do the next day or whatever. That's when I turn to bad death metal, my most trusted sleep aid.

30 seconds of Benediction and this could be you!

There really isn't anything that puts me to sleep faster than crappy death metal full of dull tremolo riffs, triggered typewriter drums, generic growling vocals, and of course a Dan Seagrave painting on the cover. Jungle Rot and Deeds of Flesh are like lullabyes to me, slowly putting me to sleep like a mother's tender touch or the gentle rocking of a cradle. The repetitive, bland riffing of bands like Vital Remains, Incantation, General Surgery, or pretty much anything else from the vaults of Century Media, JL America, or Wild Rags soothes me like sipping a glass of warm milk by a crackling fire in an overstuffed recliner, carrying me off to the land of nod on gossamer wings. The mere mention of, say, Insatanity or Desultory makes my eyelids feel like they're made of lead.

Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for my afternoon nap. Where's my Agathocles discography?

23 comments:

  1. Except that Incantation's Onward to Golgotha is a fantastic album and some of the heaviest death metal ever recorded.

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  2. i love the incantation demo, it is crushing.

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  3. I'm just waiting for the five people who like Jungle Rot to show up. Good times...

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  4. The amount of mediocre death and grind I amassed while writing “Choosing Death” is deeply, deeply disturbing. Here are some high (low) lights:

    Cerebral Fix – Tower of Spite
    Cancer – Death Shall Rise
    Cadaver – In Pains
    Defecation – Purity Dilution
    Resurrection - Embalmed Existence
    Deceased – Luck of the Corpse (like them from 97 onward though)

    What’s worse, I still haven’t purged them from my collection years later.

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  5. dude, i love that Resurrection record! but i have a huge soft spot for the Florida sound, and nothing says generic, 90s Florida death metal like Resurrection.

    but great call on Cancer, Cadaver, and Defecation. that stuff will put you to sleep before you can say "king fowley."

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  6. cancer and benediction...oooof. those are at the top of the list. i'm a a forgiving guy..i mean, i like morgoth!

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  7. Dude, I hear you on that Resurrection LP. I actually still kinda like it. That Leprechaun voice in the track intros are worth price (which I’m guessing is 99 cents) alone. But it gets even worse. Here’s the shit I downloaded in the past year or so just to revisit, hear for the first time, or make sure it still sucked:

    Baphomet - The Dead Shall Inherit
    Acrostichon - Engraved In Black
    Brutality - Screams Of Anguish
    Killing Addiction - Omega Factor

    In most cases, the records were still pretty awful. But that Brutality was surprisingly okay-ish!

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  8. I'm just waiting for the five people who like Jungle Rot to show up.

    something tells me you could be waiting a while

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  9. Have to agree, there was too much sub-par death metal in the early to mid nineties. I have been revisiting some of the ones I haven't listened to in years, and most are not good. I agree for the most part with all those listed, especially Cancer, Baphomet and Benediction; I'd like to add:

    Broken Hope - entire fucking discography (some of the worst death metal ever)
    Cianide - entire fucking discography (I know the shitstupid hipster doomdeath kids really dig these guys now, but it's just not good)
    Oppressor - Solistic of Oppression
    Morta Skuld - Dying Remains
    Mortician - Hacked Up for Barbecue (anything longer than an EP from these guys pushes the limits of death metal boredom)

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  10. Cianide - entire fucking discography (I know the shitstupid hipster doomdeath kids really dig these guys now, but it's just not good)

    really?? that band was TERRIBLE. how do hipsters even know about them? that's so weird. cianide was one of the most awful, generic bands ever.

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  11. Wait, Jungle Rot have fans? I don't believe you.

    Also, I've heard plenty about Cianide, but never heard any of their music. I'm assuming they suck.

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  12. we want a post about WAKING THE CADAVER

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  13. we have one small post about Waking The Cadaver:
    http://metalinquisition.blogspot.com/2008/01/chodeman1234-do-they-all-have-to-wear.html

    there will be more wigger slam-related content soon, though!!

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  14. I agree with this 100%. Bad death metal on headphones while lying down in bed = instantly asleep. I disagree with Incantation and Cadaver though. Although the two more recent Cadaver albums Discipline and Necrosis are far superior to their two from the early 90s. Won't argue that

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  15. you guys should make a post about Impending Doom. Wigger slam AND with christian lyrics to boot! That just screams make fun of me

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  16. yeah Impending Doom are pretty sweet but have a little too much of a hardcore edge for me. they're not bad, but certainly no Cephalotripsy, Rest In Gore, or Glossectomy. plus the christian thing... yuck.

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  17. JL America? What!? Morpheus Descends and Goatlord RULE!!

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  18. haha! i cant believe that a post about boring death metal gets more comments than any other on here. this is great.

    there's a lot of good examples of boring generic dm here, but i really think that cancer and benediction are BY FAR the 2 most generic death metal bands ever. i have never met a benediction fan, but i did know this dude, his name was clint eastwood, who LOVED cancer. he also liked aftermath, tho. anyway, Lucho knew this dude back in the day. maybe we can do a joint post about the lame bands clint eastwood liked.

    ps, i like the first broken hope

    .

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  19. I fuckin love "The grand leveller" from BENEDICTION, and "Transcend the rubicon" is a very good album, too, in my opinion.
    The fact is that this band never aproached melody or techno/thrash or wtf you would call it. It's death metal, and their songs are..generic, but in a good way.
    1000 times better than the techno/crap that Cynic put out.

    ps. I also like the "Death shall rise" album from Cancer...probably just for James Murphy's solos and John Walker's vocals.

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  20. 1000 times better than the techno/crap that Cynic put out.

    amen, brother! preach on! i'd rather listen to cancer and benediction (even tho the ARE boring and generic as shit) for a week straight, than listen to one cynic (or later death or atheist) song. BARF! i hate all that technical BS. if you're such a music nerd, just play jazz and leave metal to the men!

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  21. Benediciton had one good song in "Dark is the Season," but, yeah, that's a pretty short pony ride for a band that's been around since the Earth cooled. I do like Cancer "To the Gory End" tho. There are definitely more egregious purveyors of boredom (good to see someone harp on Cerebral Fix, btw).

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  22. Hey, Desultory put you to sleep? I love Desultory. I can't believe someone could consider them generic. If they are, at least recommend me bands that sound like them. I've been looking for a similar band since 1994 (and "all Swedish Death Metal bands" is not an answer). I have to admit the last album sucks, but the first 2 are excellent. Anyway, Benediction was always boring. Broken Hope is terrible, with lame growls (I can't believe I have an album, back from the early days). Cerebral Fix is not fast enough to be interesting, though I never considered them death metal. I'd say they are one of the worst crossover bands from the bunch that are well-known. Finally, Luck of The Corpse by Deceased is good!

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